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canyoncat
Social climber
SoCal
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ALL the luck to you Steve. All of it, and respect. There's a great thread on here with posts from some folks who've been there, done that, and many years sober. My Christmas wish for you is that you enjoy sobriety, always.
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jonnyrig
climber
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Good luck. Don't give up, and never ever take the first drink. That's the one that gets you.
My grandfather had 45 years sober when he died, and continued to go to AA during the entire time; because he always wanted that first drink. Whatever ends up working for you, keep at it.
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The Lisa
Trad climber
Da Bronx, NY
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I admire your courage, Steve. You have a lot of support on here.
Lisa
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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All the best brotha. Hope to see you around this season.
Life is a struggle, but that's a good thing. It's what makes it life. You can send your newest project, I know it :)
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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The cool thing is, when your head clears up, you will see how awesome all humanity is, and you can become a liberal!!
For a lot of people, when they clean up, they go from knowing they were right about everything, to realizing how little they actually know. Happened to me, except I was already pretty clear about not knowing that much....
SWEET!!
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Splater
climber
Grey Matter
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Good Luck Bluey!
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Barbarian
climber
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Bluey,
Good on you for making this decision. It's a long road, but well worth it. You will thank yourself on the other side as will all your loved ones.
Stay strong and committed.
Most importantly do not be afraid to ask for help. There are many here who care about you and want you to succeed.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 9, 2015 - 12:05pm PT
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You know what's really f*#king frustrating? I WANT to do this right now, I think I really do.
The 2 hospitals I'm contacting, referred by my primary care doc, keep sending me to voicemail so they can contact me LATER. WTF???
I still haven't heard from them today. I want to get this thing started. I'm as mentally prepared as I've ever been to tackle this. Still waiting...
I'm directly contacting their addictive services ward too in their Behavior Health Services programs.
Very frustrating too because I'm off work until I get this going. Ugghh...
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Roughster
Sport climber
Vacaville, CA
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Hey Steve,
My thought from reading this, Good on you! Then as I read a little longer I can see that control is something that you are also struggling with.
In order to get ahold of this, you need to stop getting worked up, relax, surrender to your decision and let it happen. Being stressed out about the hospital not calling you back is putting you closer to where you were, not where you want to be.
Honestly, get a big cup of coffee. Go sit in your backyard and soak in some nature. Forget about what will happen and focus on the now.
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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Hey Steve,
My thought from reading this, Good on you! Then as I read a little longer I can see that control is something that you are also struggling with.
In order to get ahold of this, you need to stop getting worked up, relax, surrender to your decision and let it happen. Being stressed out about the hospital not calling you back is putting you closer to where you were, not where you want to be.
Honestly, get a big cup of coffee. Go sit in your backyard and soak in some nature. Forget about what will happen and focus on the now.
Bull sh#t. He wants to begin and is being stalled. A cup of coffee is not the answer. You have no clue.
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MikeL
Social climber
Seattle, WA
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My wife just got back into circulation after 14 days at Schick Shadel in Seattle, and then 5 days in a private retreat. This is the second time in 28 years that she put herself into a recovery program. When she decided to do it this time (for reasons that I didn’t quite agree with), we were both excited by the changes that could show up in her, me, and us. We’ve gotten much out of challenging immediacies that seem to force us into states of groundlessness. They have been discovery processes with lives of their own. These days we just marvel how things come out.
Becoming anything is not something that one can control. Spiritual realizations show up on their own. There appears to be nothing one can do to become spiritually realized--and that seems to include sobriety. It seems one must let go, and let the universe do what it does. Control is an illusion. Instead, go with the flow. Intentions may be influential, but they are not means of control. There is no control; one must bow to the staggering intelligence of the universe.
Just before Naropa’s left on his trip to introduce the dharma to Tibet (11th C), Tilopa gave him six guidelines expressed in single words. Essentially, they were:
Don’t recall (let-go of what’s happened);
Don’t imagine (let-go of what could happen);
Don’t think (let-go of what’s happening now);
Don’t examine (quit trying to figure things out);
Don’t control (quit trying to make things happen).
Rest, relax, right now.
Be well, and best,
.
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Roughster
Sport climber
Vacaville, CA
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Johntp: And I am sure he wants to be cured THIS F*#KING INSTANCE as well. What are the chances of that? The point of my post is it will be a long road where patience and acceptance of the process will be key to success. Eh just my $0.02. Maybe you are a pro at this?
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Don’t recall (let-go of what’s happened);
Don’t imagine (let-go of what could happen);
Don’t think (let-go of what’s happening now);
Don’t examine (quit trying to figure things out);
Don’t control (quit trying to make things happen).
Rest, relax, right now.
Strong advice
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Strong, but maybe not so good.
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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Blue - You can go to AA meetings today, even though you are not yet started with the medical detox. Tell someone there what's going on, and almost assuredly you will find support until D Day(Detox Day).
This link can help you locate a nearby meeting: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
I agree that you need to keep a wee bit of it in your system until you go through the detox. You've drank many a year and many a beer. Your body is used to it and would likely not be a happy system if it got jolted out of it's usual. Don't worry though - it has been the way for others too, that though they were ready to commit themselves (to detox), the medical system wasn't yet ready to take them in. The important part is that YOU HAVE committed to sobriety.
You are going to have one hell of an awesome "What It Was Like Dude."
EDIT: Oh yeah...and you are going to get a LOT of advice. Take what you need, and leave the rest. Including if something I suggested doesn't ring true for you - just ignore it.
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PAUL SOUZA
Trad climber
Central Valley, CA
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Steve,
Glad to see that you're getting pumped up. Change can be exciting and can also be scary.
One thing to be mindful of as I have observed in others with addictions, is that addiction can transfer giving the illusion that they've conquered it. It's just a matter of time before they come to realize their dealing with a different face of the beast.
For example, a drug addict may become an alcoholic, a sex addict, spend their entire life savings away, start soloing even though they don't have the head for it, etc.
Generally, be careful if you begin to feel yourself having anxiety to go do something else to the point it becomes compulsive.
Good luck Steve. We're all rooting for you! :)
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
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Whatever it takes.. sometimes means waiting and doing nothing.
It's a Marathon and this is just one of the steps along the way...
Truly my best wishes to you Steve.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 9, 2015 - 04:18pm PT
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D-day is Friday morning. I go in at 9am and come out 3-5 days later. Then I join the out-patient program.
I'm still nervous about this, but stoked that it's underway. I'll need to bring some good reading material. No electronics, no tobacco allowed. Doh!
They say I can wear a patch for the tobacco. One addiction at a time...
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Studly
Trad climber
WA
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The sooner you realize that alcohol is a f*#king poison, poison to your mind, poison to your body, poison to your soul, and that it spreads its poison to those you love, then the sooner you will be able to say no to it.
You can and you will do this Bluey. You will prevail, as the alternative is not to be considered. All the best man!
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 9, 2015 - 04:38pm PT
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You're correct, Studly, and that's why I'm fed up with it all. I will go Honey Badger on this.
My secret weapon is my wife. She REALLY is happy about my decision, and we've fought about this over the years.
She is a remarkable f*#king warrior, despite her slight physique. She has stayed with me and dealt with my stuff for years. Her voice lit up when I told her my plan (over the phone). She is all-in supporting me, and is already being a great help.
I'm glad I bought this up with the TacoStand, you all are the best. Thanks!
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