Anyone want to help a brother out?

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Norton

climber

The Wastelands

Feb 23, 2019 - 02:56pm PT

are you also the only one on the title?

JLP

Social climber

The internet

Feb 23, 2019 - 03:04pm PT

If lawyers get involved they may get more money than either of you. Eg if you ask for money and she says no don’t argue or get upset just explain your situation and why you have a right to it. But again if she says no let it go.

Yes. Definitely.

The name on the deed and mortgage come second to marital property laws in the state.

Brandon-

climber

The Granite State.

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 23, 2019 - 03:32pm PT

We were renting from my family, neither of us own.

johntp

Trad climber

Punter

Feb 23, 2019 - 03:43pm PT

the Fet: pretty reasonable assessment.

Winemaker

Sport climber

Yakima, WA

Feb 23, 2019 - 04:16pm PT

And BJ, I’m the only one on the mortgage.

We were renting from my family, neither of us own.

If you are renting you don't have a mortgage, there is no real property and no home equity to divide.

Brandon-

climber

The Granite State.

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 23, 2019 - 04:22pm PT

I’m the one paying rent, and working to establish a mortgage. My family wants to sell the place to me.

But, you’re correct.

Norton

climber

The Wastelands

Feb 23, 2019 - 04:30pm PT

Brandon, paying the rent on time as specified in your lease is an excellent way to establish credit. Most renters pay by check and when they want to buy a house the mortgage company can ask for copies of the front and back of 12 months of the deposited rent check, but I think you said you do not have a bank account so that won't work to establish credit.

If someday you apply for mortgage money to buy a house, that house you are renting for example, then the lender would send a letter to the person you rent from asking if you pay on time. Obviously no lates on car payments or credit cards are also important to qualify for a mortgage someday, along with a letter to your employer to verify your job and income.

phylp

Trad climber

Upland, CA

Feb 23, 2019 - 04:32pm PT

"New Hampshire and most of the states east of the Mississippi are what are called “Equitable Division” states, meaning that the division of assets can be disproportionate."

So not a community property state.

Brandon-

climber

The Granite State.

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 23, 2019 - 04:36pm PT

Yeah Norton, I’m trying to establish credit. I don’t have bad credit, I have no credit. Apparently I need to secure credit to establish it.which means that I need to get back to work to make enough money to secure credit. It’s a shitty road to walk, but I chose to live a debit free lifestyle until now, to my detriment.

fear

Ice climber

hartford, ct

Feb 23, 2019 - 04:44pm PT

People could also choose to buy you heating oil or pay for your car repairs if they're a little suspect of sending cash.

Maybe provide info for that.

I'm not saying you'd blow cash on booze but anyone who doesn't know you might be leary of that.

johntp

Trad climber

Punter

Feb 23, 2019 - 04:47pm PT

I'm totally confused. I wish only the best for Brandon.

Did you detox Brandon? A hard question, but one that needs to be asked.

Thing is Brandon, some of us posting are recovering alcoholics. Others have lived with alcoholics. We recognize when games are being played.

I don't mean to be harsh, just calling it as I see it.

Brandon-

climber

The Granite State.

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 23, 2019 - 04:53pm PT

Ironically, my local Community Action Program bought me 150 gallons of #2 heating oil yesterday. The local church consortium is going to pay for my car repair and also my electric bill on Monday. No further assistance is needed. My town hooked it up, please stop contributing funds to me, they are not needed. It would be easy to keep accepting funds, but that would be facetious of me, and that’s not how I roll. You all have been so generous, thank you so, so much. I’ve been a train wreck, and you all have been so supportive. I don’t know how to thank you other than to just say thank you.

Brandon-

climber

The Granite State.

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 23, 2019 - 04:54pm PT

John, I have detoxed.

Brandon-

climber

The Granite State.

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 23, 2019 - 04:57pm PT

BJ, I just did. Stop being so critical and just accept the fact that both my ex wife and I chose to live a credit free lifestyle. Sure, you may not believe me, but I don’t care. I’m not a liar.

JLP

Social climber

The internet

Feb 23, 2019 - 05:40pm PT

Try to stay out of court if possible.

Sounds like there is nothing to go to court over nor the funds to get there if there were. Easiest divorce ever. There is likely a government website you can download the papers from, instructions on how to file them - and you'll be done with this and move on. If her parents had any sense, those papers would be on their way over tomorrow, frankly.

Norton

climber

The Wastelands

Feb 23, 2019 - 05:41pm PT

Brandon,

With any money sent to you to help you out, go open a checking account if you do not have one now. Then pay your rent on time with a check, that will be used to establish credit in the even you want to buy a house or get a car loan some future day.
Keep the checking very clean, no overdrafts, request physical copies of the front and back of your cancelled rent check to prove good credit. You can also have your present landlord report you good rent payments to the the credit reporting bureaus like Equifax.
Remember, you DO have credit going now with the rent payments, keep it clean and document it with bank checks, I owned a mortgage company trust me on this.
When you get on your feet get a credit card, use it and make the payment on time, this is also establishing your credit.

Jim Clipper

climber

Feb 23, 2019 - 05:51pm PT

Glad things are getting sorted out. Also, very cool to hear that a community helps their neighbors. If you aren't accepting help, maybe post the contact info. of the groups that have helped you. Sounds like good folks. Hang in there.

Winemaker

Sport climber

Yakima, WA

Feb 23, 2019 - 06:26pm PT

After my daughter finished grad school she and I wanted to get her a decent credit score. Turned out to be pretty hard to get a credit card for her, the old Catch 22; it was suggested she get a card where she deposited cash against the balance. The solution was to get a card from my bank in both her and my name. I put Netflix on it with the $12 balance paid automatically every month. In two years she had a 790 credit score. Starting at the age of 40..... don't know, but start you must if you actually want to get a mortgage. First thing to do is open a checking account and make sure you don't bounce checks.

You said you didn't take jobs in the west because you had a house you were buying, but now you say you rent from your family. I can't see how that prevented you from taking up some of those pretty sweet work offers from your previous thread.

Happiegrrrl2

Trad climber

Feb 23, 2019 - 06:50pm PT

Recall, when Brandon posted about working on the west side of country, he was actively drinking and wrote he was doing so to give his wife space.

Then, the whole doctor/detox/plane ticket to the friend and so on, and so on.

Then back home without much more than a pot to piss in... When he wrote last week about hitting the road, I had to laugh... Even I know ya don't get far in a rig when ta have no money for gas.

And he didn't even HAVE a vehicle& it was in the shop with no funds to get it out of hock.

This is classic early sobriety insanity(or slipped, god forbid but if so, get back in the sober pony saddle and ride).

But seriously, in early sobriety, IMO, it would be a not great idea. Better to stay put, get some regular AA meetings established and participate. Get some sober sealegs, and a sponsor you can develop a resentment on, let that resentment fester like a boil in the middle of your back that you just can't reach...and don't drink.

To go somewhere you are unfamiliar with, without funds to deal with the simplest of things like shelter and food. Not a good sober choice.