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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 13, 2006 - 12:32am PT
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I hope it happens that way.
But things just seem to keep getting worse.
Now it hurts again.
The rest is inoperable.
I think I'm pretty much f*#ked.
Time for a miracle.
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WBraun
climber
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Apr 13, 2006 - 12:38am PT
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You will pray.
Everyone does. There is no escape.
If you curse you still are praying but incorrectly.
Anger will not help.
By ......
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 13, 2006 - 04:55am PT
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NO, Werner, I will not pray.
I am not angry either.
I am sad.
But I will be as happy as I can be, soon.
Because at the end, all I will have is how I have been, and if I have been as happy as possible, that will be better than having made myself miserable for the last part of my life.
Believe it or not, this is easy for me. for one, I've done it twice before. For another, I am used to the cup being half empty, since I have had clinical depression since I was 8 years old. It couldn't have gotten much worse, LOL.
Two things in my life helped. One was soccer, the other is climbing. Otherwise, lack of extreme physical activity always leads to bleakness.
When you have wished you were dead every day for decades, and then you get your wish, it is sort of funny. Depressed people have a strange sense of humor, LOL.
Ahh crap I really don't like doing this sort of thing, but I thought maybe you wanted to know.
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Apr 13, 2006 - 07:17am PT
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Hey Dirt, firstly forget about that other guy, as somebody posted already, he seems a bit full of himself. I was going to post something similar earlier but didn't want to get involved in a flame war with a jerk.
Secondly, you seem pretty much at peace with yourself, so good on you.
Thirdly, best of luck. Fingers crossed. Hope you are climbing in ten years' time.
Werner is right (and not for the first time), on reflection Yosemite is sh#t. Give me Mount Diablo anyday.
On reflection, Mount Diablo may have been my first climbing area, but now that I think of it, it's pretty shhitty sandstone... to begin with.
Nah, again on reflection, guess I'll take the Valley and Meadows.
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Apr 13, 2006 - 12:19pm PT
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Kinda funny
If there's no God, it's all irrelevent cause it'll all be over when you die
If there is, seems kinda premature to judge the higher power (the only game in town) before you know what the real story is.
But I'm sure everything is going to work out fine no matter if the road is rocky or smooth. I wish you all the best
Peace
Karl
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 13, 2006 - 02:59pm PT
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Karl, you can hedge your bet if you like, but I'm all in, LOL.
I have been so near death so often, and I have never felt the presence of a higher power, that I just can't believe one exists.
And if it does, then, I have a few words for it.
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Apr 13, 2006 - 04:45pm PT
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Fattrad, What's Amazing Face?
I'll bet it is a climb on Diablo that us folk who were climbing there in the late '60s and early '70s know as something else (main cliff at the bottom with the old bolt ladder?).
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jclimb
Trad climber
Durango, Co
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Apr 13, 2006 - 06:36pm PT
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is this for real
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Ouch!
climber
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Apr 13, 2006 - 07:29pm PT
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"Fattrad, What's Amazing Face?"
Is that the song they play a lot with bagpipes at police funerals?
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Apr 13, 2006 - 09:57pm PT
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"I have been so near death so often, and I have never felt the presence of a higher power, that I just can't believe one exists.
And if it does, then, I have a few words for it."
We'll see about that. Your very consciousness, the awareness that lights up your knowing the world exists in the first place is itself the glimmer of a higher power. How can you say you're not aware of it?
But I'm not really trying to preach. You'll be just fine. All of us in life find ourselves in situations where we need to let go of what we're holding on to. If we refuse, eventually we get pumped and let go anyway. Take your choice.
Best wishes in all ways bro. If you do make to to the promised land (Yosemite that is) be sure to drop in on my place (Cult headquarters) for a meal and a shower.
Peace
Karl
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 13, 2006 - 11:33pm PT
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Karl,
Thanks, that's very kind.
I appreciate all the kind thought from you guys.
IT is a great pity that I can't get out there now, but I must start this damned chemo Monday.
I'm not taking what you or Werner say as preaching, and I know you mean well. Many people in my situation do turn to a higher power.
I have no quarrel with spiritual ideals. I know that sounds contradictory, but I am contradictory, LOL.
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Apr 14, 2006 - 09:17am PT
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Yeah Jeff, it's not a bad climb. We just called it the Bolt Route and right to the left on the same face (before the 'gully/cave') was Pizza Face (the one that sort of starts out of a very small cave that's about six or so feet of the ground).
Actually, there are some decent climbs on Diablo, for example, to the left of Amazing Face (about 60 feet or so) is the Arch. I don't know who first aided it but I can be cetain that Claude Fiddler and I freed it (mainly Claude).
Butt Rock, the one that stand alone to the right of the main rocks, has a real nice (but short) crack then face climb on the side opposite the main rocks. You'll notice at the base is a huge block (about the size of a small car if I recall correctly) that 'fell/came' off, thus creating the crack. I was there the day that came off, glad I wasn't next to it or I'd probably be under it.
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Brutus of Wyde
climber
Old Climbers' Home, Oakland CA
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Apr 16, 2006 - 06:37pm PT
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Dirt, good luck with the chemo and don't write yourself off just yet.
Let us know when you head out this way.
Nose is over-rated. My favorites are Salathe' Wall (still too crowded for my taste but lots of nice wide cracks) and Muir Wall. Upper Muir isn't crowded, and the route has its own amazing story. Nurse Ratchet and I may have set a record for the slowest ascent of the Muir.
I'll go up it with you when you grow your hair back.
Brutus
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Ouch!
climber
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Apr 16, 2006 - 06:45pm PT
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" Nurse Ratchet and I may have set a record for the slowest ascent of the Muir."
Hey! That's proud! Separates you from the pack. Only a few of us can set any record at all.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 16, 2006 - 07:37pm PT
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Sounds like fun Brutus. Thanks, and I'll try to take you up on it next year.
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Brutus of Wyde
climber
Old Climbers' Home, Oakland CA
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Apr 17, 2006 - 01:25am PT
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COOLLLL!
Nurse Ratchet says she'll meet us on top with the beer.
Brutus
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Apr 17, 2006 - 03:15am PT
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The Nurse Rocks! She met Brutus and I at Glacier Point on top of Galactic Hitchhiker with beer and an amazing spread of snacks.
That would be worth the whole week long torture of angst and suffering alone.
Drop in sometime Brutus and Nursey
Peace
karl
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