Can you help us file charges against Big Mike?

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couchmaster

climber
Jul 24, 2014 - 07:32pm PT

Well, it's a parody of a very, very serious topic. As such, the real topic might end horribly bad and to no ones advantage and everyone's horror. In which case, this thread is way over the top. I just want to add that Big Mike seems like a hell of a nice guy, but I'm calling BULLSH#T that a guy only 6'7" should be called "big". "Big" is reserved for 7' and over is it knott. Of course, it is Canada so maybe the standards are lower. hmmmm. That is all.

Says the small(ish) dude.
MH2

climber
Jul 24, 2014 - 07:36pm PT
File charges?? Who needs that sh!t? Guilty, guilty, guilty.
sempervirens

climber
Jul 24, 2014 - 08:44pm PT
I'm sick of Big Mike eatin' up all the pow all winter up there in.... that other country, whatever it's called.
RyanD

climber
Squamish
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 24, 2014 - 08:46pm PT
Justin, if you are willing to cooperate in the Big Mike case there is a slight chance you could receive immunity. I'd recommend contacting our CIA agent before it's too late, he's in Toronto.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jul 24, 2014 - 10:10pm PT
You can run, but you can't hide.

You're to effing big.
this just in

climber
north fork
Jul 24, 2014 - 10:21pm PT
Lol Ryan. I hope I can strike a deal. I was witness to the man in question terrorize Double Doubles at In-N-Out.
The Call Of K2 Lou

Mountain climber
North Shore, BC
Jul 24, 2014 - 10:30pm PT
"Big is reserved for 7' and over.

Nah, if you're over seven foot you've reached ironic nickname status. "How's it going, Tiny?"
Darwin

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
Jul 24, 2014 - 10:54pm PT

so not funny. ;-)

send photos. Oh god, let me think about that. I didn't check the thread nor read anything but(I shudder to spell that out) Ryan's first post, so there are almost certainly more photos than I ever want to see. Not Ghost's!
Flip Flop

Trad climber
Truckee, CA
Jul 24, 2014 - 11:07pm PT
Way too smiley. Never trust a smiler. Ban to Newfoundland immediately.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jul 24, 2014 - 11:45pm PT
Big mike should have an episode on Trailer Park Boys. Could you imagine?
Big Mike

Trad climber
BC
Jul 24, 2014 - 11:52pm PT
Lol!!!! Pass it bubbles!! Don't bogart that sh!t bro!! Lol
ß Î Ø T Ç H

Boulder climber
extraordinaire
Jul 24, 2014 - 11:57pm PT
Jeremy's mom may have some DNA evidence in the form of spent condoms etc.
With immunity, She may be willing to cooperate.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jul 25, 2014 - 12:04am PT
I can hear Ricky say something like, "I don't care who the Feck you are, comin' in here and doin' good sh*t and stuff."
pyro

Big Wall climber
Calabasas
Jul 25, 2014 - 05:58am PT
strike while iron is hot!

nice..lol!
Marlow

Sport climber
OSLO
Jul 25, 2014 - 09:38am PT
Here’s a short summary of the charges against Big Mike:
 Clogger of the frontpage of ST
 Excessive writer of inspiring TRs
 Writer of stupid climbing content
 Writer of silly stories embracing the epitome of the human spirit
 Sending posts ripe with empathy and compassion for fellow man
 Out climbing and having fun all the time, leaving everybody else alone
 Poster of junk and climbing garbage
 Frequent communication with people
 In opposition to prosecutions
 Choss-lover
 Purveyor of climbing porn
 Chain-gang sympathizer
 Meeting every day with a positive attitude
 Porn star wanna be avatar
 Canadian
 Self promoting name - Big Mike
 Chain saw excessive tree and moss cleaner
 Boulderer
 Pad-lover
 Exceeding the maximum height for a climber. Too effing big.
 Friendly and sh#t, generous too
 Smoking people out
 Loud snoring
 Not easily taken down
 Not respecting the scientifically demonstrated differences between male and femal. Denying that he is not doing so.
 Big lungs contributing to global warming
 Feeling the love when he’s prosecuted
 Too small to be really big outside Canada. Tiny guy.
 Eating up all the pow all the winter
 Terrorizing Double Doubles at In-N-Out
 Didn’t pick up the dead rat outside Tami’s house
 Trailer Park Boy
 Possible connection to Jeremy’s mom
 Doin’ good sh#t and stuff
 Excessive use of good nature and general coolness
 Bearded, but not accoding to Canadian standards
 Not known, possibly an impostor
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
Jul 25, 2014 - 12:32pm PT
Beard clearly does not comply with Canadian standards.
rottingjohnny

Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
Jul 25, 2014 - 12:49pm PT
I'd like to help file charges...But first , who is he...?
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Jul 25, 2014 - 12:52pm PT
He is addicted, not just to crack, but to crackin' us up.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Jul 25, 2014 - 01:15pm PT
They couldn't speak English and Big Mike couldn't speak their language.
They climbed through quickly, though, and said something like "Om Gowa Mungie Wung Ow."
Big Mike smiled and said, "Yeah man, hang ten dogs, eh."

Quote from Sendless Bummer, a climbing film by Zeus Brown.
Michelle

Social climber
1187 Hunterwasser
Jul 25, 2014 - 04:15pm PT
Lynch the guy!
Messages 41 - 60 of total 72 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
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