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pyro
Big Wall climber
Calabasas
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Jul 29, 2014 - 08:02am PT
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The Larry
climber
Moab, UT
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Jul 29, 2014 - 07:27pm PT
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Charlie D.
Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
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Jul 29, 2014 - 08:39pm PT
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Oh my, let me demonstrate two of the meanings of "ass".....as a man which BTW is a full time job ass is what we adore but much to our dismay at times it is owned by a bitch. When we joke about such things we are simply called an ass.....which I have no doubt is true, just ask my wife.
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
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Jul 29, 2014 - 10:14pm PT
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I have always thought that the ass is the second face.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Jul 29, 2014 - 11:51pm PT
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because as my father always said "nobody likes a smart ass!"
Oh yeah, well my mother told me, "If you're gonna be an ass, you might as well be a smart ass."
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jul 30, 2014 - 04:20am PT
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Have we gained by this assortment of assumption, assent and dissent?
Have we assembled enough astute commentary to assess whether we need assistance in assuaging those assessors of assurgent assemblies like ours?
Or have we merely been assoiled of charges of assault with assegais?
I'm assigning the win to The Larry: not too big, not too small, just the right assize!
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Jul 30, 2014 - 05:58am PT
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Ass... The other white meat.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jul 30, 2014 - 07:15am PT
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MUCH DOO-DOO ABOUT NOTHING
Conrade: You are an ass, you are an ass.
Dogberry: Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass. But masters, remember that I am an ass: though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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Karen
Trad climber
So Cal urban sprawl Hell
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Jul 30, 2014 - 08:39am PT
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"Ass" is my roommate a total biotch!
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KabalaArch
Trad climber
Starlite, California
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Jul 30, 2014 - 09:07am PT
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I think Milktoast's "Oslo Winterpark" avert gets this Thread's Blue Ribbon.
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Jul 30, 2014 - 09:42am PT
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...that stuff in the hole is never really inside us.
And the "you are what you eat" theory is blown out of the water.
Actually, the donut does grab some stuff passing through the hole and internalize it, so we're left with "you are less than what you eat."
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 31, 2014 - 02:34am PT
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i am sorry about the ass thread.
it was a playful slap on the backside of that sexy 'mind' thread
that is like 10,000 strands strong.
i am sorry for this shite show on words,
i suspect that those whom replied
did so out of caring and concern:
a slight gesture of sympathy
aimed gently at their worn and weary friend.
i've been down and out, of late.
not the kind of down and out
where my house burned down;
or my wife got breast cancer;
or one of my children parted with wellness;
not that kind of deep struggle,
no mine is silly and shallow
and quite self-imposed,
but hey i'm pretty wrecked,
and out of habit and desperation,
i turn to words for self repair.
but words are what done broke me up
in the first place.
one-too-many-times did i tell
my beloved gal to f*#k off,
and other such unspeakables.
words are not necessarily inferior to action.
potent words, at least,
harbor great potential
for effect. lasting effect.
i've been livin in my little cabin out back,
cranking out design drawings when i'm
not falling trees.
but this little place, the one
that got killed by an old heritage oak,
is under some spell.
it's quaint, and i sleep below
a 4x8 sheet of dual-pane glass
that peeks out at that great big
sky and into the little world below it;
but for the past three nights,
i've been unable to rest, despite
thorough exhaustion.
(two days ago i removed one
of my more difficult trees:
150' tall long-dead white fir
that was surrounded by
wires and cabins on all but
10 degrees of it's view
and was perched on a steep,
granite infested incline
directly above a cabin. i hadda
climb to the very crown
of this structurally marginal
tree, lob the top over
wires because of a gross lean
and then bring the sucka down
in chunks into a target no bigger
than 3' square with the
dire consequences (i.e. chunk of
heavy tree rocketing through
the wall of a cabin)
for missing my target...)
yes, thorough exhaustion is mine,
coupled with some substantial sorrow.
but this cabin in which i am sleeping
houses a trapped spirit.
after three nights, i am certain.
i don't know if i am that
trapped spirit, or if the spirit
arrived of that old oak tree.
but we've been tangling.
and other wiley local incidents
like a bat getting into our house
which sits just uphill of the cabin;
and fluttering last night about the soft
cheeks and nose and closed eye-lids
of my wife who is mourning the loss
of her once valiant but now defunct guy.
that bat came to carry off our dead love.
this place is like an above ground
grave yard, the inhabitants:
left over from a once-thriving
middle class family now
sleeping on the coffins of yesterday.
so the ass thread was borne of
this struggle and i admit
it clearly suggests of my ailing nature.
i am now in the third night of
near-no sleep. i got some solo
trees to top today, and then
i run to my engineer, for i have
prepared a stamp-able package
of info that will enable us to
permit our second floor,
which ultimately will add 100 grand
in equity to our home.
yea i'm still working on getting my
stamp but i'll wait until i'm retired
and own my home outright and my
chill'ns are raised up proper
and then i'll finish my round of tests
and i've already got the gobs of
qualification experience, hell-be-damned.
we are selling everything:
the home and cabin in strawberry.
i've toiled both structures
up from the ashes and thus
we owe very little on them
compared to their current value.
once we pay off our debts,
we'll move move down separate paths.
i expect (not hope) to have a 60-80 percent
down payment on my next dwelling
which will be under 1000 square feet
and at or above 4000' elevation.
thus i'll only throw a few hundred bucks a month
to shelter, and then get busy
building back up my word castle.
because the words
they are my real defense
against
the incessant blessings of life.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 31, 2014 - 02:56am PT
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i'm starting a new socio-economic class:
the simple class.
join me.
in this cultural sect
you work your asse off
and you play your ass off,
either banjo or
self propelled mountain travel
to hell.
but our lifestyle
is our only expression of excess.
and then one corner (me) of
this massive capitalistic country
just broke off.
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pyro
Big Wall climber
Calabasas
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Jul 31, 2014 - 05:57am PT
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everything will be okay!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jul 31, 2014 - 05:59am PT
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butt who knows?
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Mar 28, 2015 - 08:34pm PT
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Ass at it's most elemental is that round fleshy protrusion that keeps one from falling through the toilet seat.
Ass as it pertains to Rosy Butted Gibbons and fans of Kim Kardashian acts as a perverse sexual attraction along the same lines of paying 25 cents to see JoJo the Dog Faced boy at some 1920's sideshow.
Ass in social settings helps to alert your friends and co-workers to beware that annoying person.
Ass can also be used to describe a niggling pissant who somehow managed to get both an Internet connection and a keyboard and sincerely believes that the rest of us gives an ass about their opinions.
Ass can be fun and effective especially in the Corporate world when confronted by a well-intentioned but astoundingly mistaken newly minted MBA HR Twit. In such a case, being an ass by asking pointed questions is not only informative for your fellow workers but gives one a mild woody if done correctly.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Trad climber
Will know soon
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Mar 28, 2015 - 08:59pm PT
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If you ask me, this thread is asinine :)
I hear lately women are getting ass implants now days just like the breast implants became popular years ago. Go figure................
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Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
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Mar 28, 2015 - 09:04pm PT
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zBrown
Ice climber
Brujò de la Playa
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Mar 28, 2015 - 09:09pm PT
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Ass is Ass. However, if you didn't or still don't know, then if you click to enlarge the photo above you'll have a good idea of what you are looking for.
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