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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 1, 2006 - 11:16am PT
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Well, since it caught my eye,
Dear rosy,
I didn't say all women were dumbasses. In fact, there are posts in this very thread that prove that some are the opposite. Rosy, you are not very good at sarcasm.
Walk a mile in your shoes? OK, but how will you get them back? I'll be a mile away, and I'll have your shoes. What size are they?
Bitter and jaded? Me? what makes you say that? I told you a story about my first wife, who I loved dearly at the time, who just happened, along with me, to make friends with a true sociopathic murderer. We had no idea. You would have had no idea. We made the same mistakes that I'm frustrated to see everyone else apparently making.
OK, how about this:
The ones we REALLY need to worry about, we'll probably never know. The ones who are worring us quite possibly are harmless. Thank (the non-exstent retarded)god the first kind is rare. The second kind just get their feelings hurt.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 1, 2006 - 12:29pm PT
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Dingus, HAHA, I wish you were back in Tennessee, cause we could go pick Poison Ivy together.
But I'll call you on the monkey/typewriter thing. pardon me if I'm wrong here, but isn't it proper to use moth eaten cliches ONLY if you somehow reinvigorate them with a new twist?
Shame on you.
Lois, don't worry, I am 100% certain that you are not male, LOL.
NO, my wife did not get murdered, that guy had murdered someone else. he was out ( why I have no idea, I guess he was somehow not deemed a serious threat??) on bail (for about two years, go figure) while awaiting trial for a crime that there was no doubt he had committed.
During this time he attended university with us. As I said, he was charming, good looking, friendly, helpful, and extremely intelligent. He jsut happened to have gone into a convenience store/gas station and tied up the clerk and then either ordered one of his companions to pull the trigger or pulled it himself, I can't remember which. I THINK he was the ring leader though, but it was 20 years ago and I don't remember the exact details.
At any rate, he was on trial for murder. I knew a Psychiatrist who had evaluated him. Sociopathy, as I recall, not sure now severe, but bad enough to be able to cold bloodedly execute a stranger in pursuit of a role playing game, and manipulate other people into going along with it.
Anyway, he was a good friend of ours. He'd been to our house. He gave my wife rides around campus. One day he told her that he was sick and would have to go away. She was very sad about this. THen, we saw him on tv, in court, on trial for murder.
We were shocked. Almost as shocked as Ted's victims, I would think.
One more bizarre detail-- we were all in the chess club together. A group of people someho began discussing the very crime that this kid had committed, as it had been quite a news item, and even two years later peopel talked about it... While he was sitting right there. He didn't say anything during that discussion.
Now, if you want creepy, how's that? Sitting in a room with the killer, talking about his crime, saying how awful it was, and you don't know it's him.
I'm glad you enjoy some of my strange utterances, Lois. It's been a strange life.
Remind me to tell you sometime about the very odd woman I dated, and was head over heals in love with, who liked to play little girl/daddy sex fantasies (based in reality actually) during sex. She was another highly charismatic person, extremely manipulative, and very intelligent. IF you were not careful, she'd have you doing anything she wanted, and you'd be happy to do it. When she was done with you, whether in business, love, or whatever, you were trash. I should have known something was wrong when she never had anything nice to say about anyone, ever. But, when you are in the thrall of a highly charismatic person, and you think the two of you are in love, you'll do and believe just about anything.
As I said, a strange life.
And by the way, those people who DON'T have charisma, the ones you get that icky feeling about, maybe they are icky and maybe they aren't, but my POINT all along has been, when you meet the seriously wrong one, you'll have no idea. You'll think everything is wonderful. Then, you're in big trouble.
Thank you for helping me clarify what I was trying to say from the start.
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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LEB-Is this that shrewd detective work that stems from those times he says stuff like "My real name is Jeff Batten." ?
please advise.
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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I met a mass murder once (before the fact) he seemed a little odd, but not THAT odd. Definitely not out of the ordinary. A friend of mine put up new routes with him. He was a good belayer.
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TradIsGood
Trad climber
Gunks end of country
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DMT - I am no longer LEB, and never was Rajmit. But I did like your radar story.
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JuanDeFuca
Big Wall climber
Stoney Point
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My real name is Craig Harris!
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bringmeshelter
Social climber
la la land
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Hey, I just stepped back into High School!
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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Lois I think he just likes the reaction he gets from you.
"I got three passports, a couple of visas,
you don't even know my real name"
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Melissa
Gym climber
berkeley, ca
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Lois...I climbed with DMT once. To keep it on topic...He didn't give me a Ted Bundy vibe at all.
Dirt...although I didn't make the list of chicks invited to give you an opinion, here's mine...The world is full of good people. Sometimes I find that there is so little time to give to the good people that I already know and love that the whole issue of spending time with potentially good people who make me uncomfortable or with covertly sketchy swashbuckling strangers is usually moot.
By Kate's (great) analogy, does this make me the person that always climbs at the same crag? Maybe...There's less adventure in it, but then again, those routes are so great and there are so many there that I still struggle with.
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
St. Louis
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"Callie, I'm a little disappointed, because I know that from your line of work you might know things about how victims get where they are, and how that might relate to this topic. I wish you would talk about that some, cause you are after all an expert."
Sorry to disappoint.
Number 1 - I play on this site. I don't work here. I work far too much as it is already. Anyone want to read my work on stalking, violence against women and victimization in general? Knock yourself out - it's easily found. But I warn you to take some sort of upper before you start reading or you'll doze off very quickly.
Number 2 - My comment about rage was an effort to show some compassion and caring toward you. I'm sorry you can't see that.
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spyork
Trad climber
Fremont, CA
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Hehe, what a wild wandering thread.
As far as OP goes, I understand (I think) where he's coming from.
I knew a woman once who I kinda liked but I wasn't sure about. She was nice then nasty to me, and I was looking for the door. Then she told me "If you wont beat me up, you aren't a real man". Then I realized she had been trying to piss me off enough to beat her up. I hit the road as fast as I could.
I don't know why, but I seemed to get involved with what I started to call "professional victims" at one point in my life. I got a real negative attitude from the whole thing. After a while, if I smelled a victim, I would leave ASAP.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 1, 2006 - 03:52pm PT
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Ok Melissa, I retroactively and humbly ask for your input as well. I just figured that you would not want to mess with this since you hadn't posted in the deleted thread that I saw.
I really thought I made it clear that I wanted to hear from the women on this-- all of em were asked to write.
The ones I asked specifically are the ones who always seem to ahve something to say, or were already involved in the thread.
And if you need a pat on the head, it's nothing new, I put you right next to kate as somone I'd like to go climbing with someday, even if you two are both there, and bring boy friends. Just no crappy music, please.
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roslyn
Trad climber
washington
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Dirt, i say walk a mile in my shoes because, generally, as women,..........especially women of a younger generation we are conditioned to "be on the look out for creepy guys". The older i get, the better i am at weeding the nutbars out and the more open i get.
I wouldn't have considered the incidents related by TR or mac to be "stalking"..........but that is me. We all have different levels of comfort. I'm in my forties, and i've put a few years and my personal radar is pretty bang on.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 1, 2006 - 04:12pm PT
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EEEK Crimposter, ease up. You know I like ya.
Even if you are going to break my little stick arms when we meet.
The question I thought you could answer best is, "how is it that some people avoid guys like bundy and others get taken?". What is the role of charisma in this stuff?
You can just tell me where to look so you won't have to do any work here.
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
St. Louis
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Squirty-stick-boy:
You ask "how is it that some people avoid guys like bundy and others get taken?". What is the role of charisma in this stuff?
All people are capable of being charming, of having or exuding charisma. Think of it as a verb, an action, not a fixed or permanent personality trait. When people are engaged in being charming, some use it to be nice in some fashion, others use it to their advantage to gain something from someone else regardles of how it harms or hurts others, and some very few others use it to lure, to control by attraction and ultimately kill people.
I could blather on and on and on (more than I have), but I think that the best thing to do would be to direct you to a very good book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin deBecker. I require all my students to read this book - I think it is that important. Read the first five chapters. The rest is okay, but the first five are great. I promise, you'll recommend it to others when you are finished with it.
Hope you find this post a bit more satisfying. It's almost 9pm and I'm still at work. 13 hours here so far today. Yuck.
** 23 days to J-tree and counting....
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 2, 2006 - 07:17am PT
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That's the spirit, Crimposeur!
I'll put my little stick arms all around you some day in thanks, so, be careful, don't break em!
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healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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I agree with crimp that charisma is a verb. I know a guy who was one of the more painfully shy, nerdy, and not necessarily "cute" men who suddenly went ballistic with women. I don't know whether he read something or talked to someone or what, but one day he walks in to a bar and within a minute is in with the best looking woman in the place and gone with her in fifteen. I watched him do that again and again over several months sometimes leaving with two at a time. Then something shifted again and he went back to his old self and the don juan of him was never seen again. Still don't know what really went on in that period - it seemed as if he was possessed for about three months one year. Definitely a verb, though possibly an elusive one at times...
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TradIsGood
Trad climber
Gunks end of country
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If a woman called me "Squirty-stick-boy", should I expect her to want my arms around her? If not, should I do it anyway?
Please advise.
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
St. Louis
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Guess it's better than "Sticky-squirt-boy"
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