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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 27, 2019 - 11:24am PT
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It feels good to get that out there.
I am still down and out, but telling the backstory helps. Thanks.
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thebravecowboy
climber
The Good Places
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Feb 27, 2019 - 01:40pm PT
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Hey dude, hope you're loving on the pups and treating yourself kindly. Don't forget the excellent boost that we can self dose and titrate as needed with endorphins. Best part: doggies never say no to a hike.
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 1, 2019 - 10:15am PT
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Ron, I check my mail daily. Nothing so far. Regardless, you kick ass.
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fear
Ice climber
hartford, ct
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Auditory and visual hallucinations are quite common when detoxing off of alcohol. However if you see or hear things now that aren't really there that would be cause for concern. But even if that was true it can be a very treatable condition with the right meds. I work with a treated schizophrenic guy now who functions at a very high level in IT, has a family, etc.... He tells some strange stories from time to time but I'd never have known if he hadn't provided his history to me.
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 1, 2019 - 10:28am PT
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TBC, it seemed normal for me to ask random guy and his dogs to show me around Eldorado. He did, and knew the place backward and forward. Fun walk with a guy who knows sh#t.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Should be there by now.
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the Fet
climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
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I appreciate your updates Brandon. Reading a thread like this gets you invested and you hope for the best and want to see what happens.
As I’ve said don’t take a anything personal from the trolls/haters. If they have advice that seems to work that’s fine. But ignore anything that attempts to put you down.
Again as I’ve said I’m posting to show my support and share my experiences that may or may not be applicable to you. And also to feed my addiction of “wasting time” on SuperTopo. ;-)
Mental illness is something you have even less control of than alcoholism. People say just stop being depressed etc but I think it’s often a problem with brain chemistry you need to treat. Medication. Good diet. Sleeping correctly (eg 11pm to 7pm). Exercise. Maybe light therapy if it’s worse in the winter. If you do try medication make sure you are under the care of a good psychiatrist (a dr of mental drugs) not a GP or psychologist. I’ve seen more than one person out on temporary/ addictive drugs for long term. And some drugs make things worse (even suicidal) and you need to be getting frequent check ins to make sure you are on a drug that works for you and at the correct dose.
I don’t know if it’s wise to treat mental illness and alcoholism at the same time. Seek good professional advice. I do know someone where they tried to treat alcoholism, depression, and kick cigarettes with medication at the same time. Really bad idea. One of the side effects of the cigarette drug was psychosis. Sheesh. These were supposedly professionals trying to help but should have known this was a bad idea. They also didn’t follow up with him to make sure the meds were working correctly. Luckily someone else I know found out and threw away the stupid cigarette pills, got him of the addictive temporary drugs and probably saved his life.
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LAhiker
Social climber
Los Angeles
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AFAIK, hallucinations and getting the shakes are part of the DTs. So though I can understand how you're worried about your family history of schizophrenia, it sounds like all of the symptoms may have been part of alcohol withdrawal.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Sport climber
moving thru
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Like Susan says, stay strong. You on so many of our hearts with love. lynnie
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johntp
Trad climber
Punter
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Brandon, sharing honestly is part of healing.
Then, when Aaron found out that I wasn’t staying for six months in the twin cities in a sober house,
Never stayed in a sober house. When I was in rehab it became apparent that sober houses are anything but. Sure, it's hard to bring booze in, but drugs can easily be brought in. That and from what I learned from rehab residents that had spent time in sober living is that it is common for the house leaders to deal and provide booze to line their pockets.
It sounds good in concept, but is really a bad situation to be in from what I gathered. My brother in law insisted I go to one. Not a chance in hell!
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LilaBiene
Trad climber
Technically...the spawning grounds of Yosemite
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Coupla Dolts in your corner, too, Brandon. <3 Life isn't a straight line.
Most important thing is to stand up again if you fall.
Falling is human. Expecting yourself never to fall is inhuman.
I'm learning to be kinder to myself, too. (Unsurprisingly, like anything worthwhile, it takes a lot of practice.)
Finding self-acceptance and self-love is one of the most difficult journeys out there. But remember that you're worth the effort. You. Are. Worth. It. YOU.
Imperfect, beautiful, you. Perfectly imperfect, just like the rest of us.
HUGE, New England bear hug.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, Brandon_ ...
still praying, in your corner, here...
very nice words, there from lilabiene:
Most important thing is to stand up again if you fall.
keep going... once you learn to work-on-the-trail, it gets
easier and can even become 'like a natural habit' -- which
is the reward:
it CAN work...
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 2, 2019 - 08:40am PT
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John, the first weekend in rehab I was told that we all had a night off. My ‘friends’ said ‘follow us, fun night ahead’ So, we wandered around this warehouse district, where everyone offered us drugs, it turned out to be a test, and I passed. There were peobably a hundred people offering coke and booze. It seemed so f*#ked up, Ikept saying, ‘This doesn’t make sense’.
That’s all for now, crazy situation.
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Norton
climber
The Wastelands
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and you are a strong man for walking away, congrats
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sempervirens
climber
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Hey Brandon,
I've just been lurking on this thread 'cause I have no direct experience with most of what you're going through. But I find it interesting to see it all unfold; the human condition in a set of circumstances. So, thanks.
I've seen plenty of fecked up shite in my 59 years. I expect you'll overcome. Rootin' for ya.
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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What kind of rehab sends people out "for a test run?"
Seriously - if that is their model, that place needs to be outed and shut down.
Could someone who knows the name of that place please send me a note so I can contact them? You can reach me through my TalismanToo.Etsy.com shop via the Contact button.
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thebravecowboy
climber
The Good Places
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Predatory rehab centers are a norm in this sick country of ours.
I had a friend whose last attempt at rehab went like this:
sick off dope, he found a place in Battle Creek, MI; he secured funding, a BIG check, from his family (at their wits and finances' end after several medical and non-medical rehab attempts) for a spot in the facility. He gave over that check to the facility after repeatedly clarifying and receiving assurances that no religious component of the recovery was requisite to complete the program. Entering facility, portraits of L. Ron Hubbard adorned the walls (my friend was naive to this figure). To complete the program you had to read all (like at least 10 or something) of these scientology books. He walked away. He died in an alley.
Props to your walking away Brandon. Please keep being here (in life, not ST necessarily) with us.
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Bad Climber
Trad climber
The Lawless Border Regions
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Damn, BraveCowboy, that is horrible. The Church of Scientology is so effin' corrupt. Read "Going Clear" by Lawrence Wright--awesome! Good documentary, too.
Hang in there, Brandon.
BAd
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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Brandon, Best of luck on clean & sober living, rooting for you big time.
Keep up with your running,... James Taylor would agree with that approach to help heal yourself..
[Click to View YouTube Video]
Saludos
Nita..
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 2, 2019 - 02:20pm PT
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Ron O saved my life. Maybe that’s dramatic, but his money order allowed me to open a bank account, so that I can recieve all of your generous paypal donations. I have a balance of six dollars right now, and that kicks ass. Wish my wife hadn’t taken my money, but what the f*#k, can’t change it. Thank you so, so much, Ron. I feel like I’ve got a new beginning thanks to you. Your kindness is f*#king incredible.
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