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johntp
Trad climber
Punter
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Feb 26, 2019 - 06:42pm PT
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DMT: Consider deleting your beating a dead horse post. This is serious discussion and no place for frivolity.
Just my thinking, take it for what it is worth.
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Norton
climber
The Wastelands
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Feb 26, 2019 - 07:09pm PT
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yes, I want to hear how Brandon is doing on his new job also
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Winemaker
Sport climber
Yakima, WA
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Feb 26, 2019 - 08:12pm PT
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^^^^^ Yep, me too.
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D Murph
climber
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Feb 26, 2019 - 08:16pm PT
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Brandon,
What happened to the money people like Werner and I (me?) shipped your GoFundMe?
Thanks,
Dmurph
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John M
climber
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Feb 26, 2019 - 08:44pm PT
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It was spent on the rehab facility. That was prepaid and no refunds. Brandon spent I believe 21 days of the 30 days in rehab.
Sorry folks.. no refunds.
There was 700+ dollars over. Brandon's friend who was managing the go fund me while Brandon was in the facility sent that money to Brandon's wife to help her after Brandon left rehab.
...............
I was off a few days. he went in on morning of the 11th of Jan and came out the evening of the 29th.
I'm sure sue with the phd can do the math.
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Treezypoof
Trad climber
Cyberia
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Feb 26, 2019 - 09:18pm PT
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I contributed no strings attached as a show of support. I'm pretty sure it registered.
DMT might just be referring to the disease argument. If you google it, it is a pretty beat horse. Some science and lots of opinions out there. Plenty of opinions from folks who haven't been there.
Boilermaker seems like a good path. Join the union, get trained. Work helped me get through.
Brandon, here's a tune that is always in the Eb section of my set. I've been here long enough to know better than to post video of myself though, lol. It's an old Jawbreaker song. This is Lucero covering it. I do it electric. I couldn't have said it better myself.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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Treezypoof
Trad climber
Cyberia
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Feb 26, 2019 - 09:22pm PT
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If this bothers you so much, you should probably check in somewhere yourself.
You'll end up like BJ, with an uncontrollable man crush.
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Flip Flop
climber
Earth Planet, Universe
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Feb 26, 2019 - 09:31pm PT
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Rehab was hella fun
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ionlyski
Trad climber
Polebridge, Montana
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Feb 26, 2019 - 09:42pm PT
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DMT: Consider deleting your beating a dead horse post. This is serious discussion and no place for frivolity. Just my thinking, take it for what it is worth
Dingus that is hilarious! Just see how serious everyone gets here, thinking they have the right perspective on problems with humanity that go back so many 10's of thousands of years. This is no place for frivolity now son:) Take that down this instant.
Arne
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Treezypoof
Trad climber
Cyberia
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Feb 26, 2019 - 10:41pm PT
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Durp!
Who stopped developing early in life again? lol
The age old question.... born this way or worked at it your whole life?
How long does the buzz last when you tear someone down? Are you addicted?
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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Feb 27, 2019 - 04:21am PT
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It was the best of Supertopo. It was the worst of Supertopo.
I have to say that I'm admiring the way Brandon is handling this thread. I could do well to incorporate it into the way I manage internet barrage.
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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Mill Valley, Ca
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Feb 27, 2019 - 08:18am PT
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Interesting that Brandon presumably took a break from work yesterday to post this:
-but did knott mention how work was going, as it would be his 2nd day on the job...
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 27, 2019 - 08:27am PT
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Ok, people are discussing my time in rehab. I wrote something as I was travelling home from the facillity. I’ll post it now, because why not. I’ve already made a fool of myself apparently.
Here goes, I mever really wanted to make this fully public, but so many people are writing on this thread. Hopefully nobody maliciously disseminates my words. I probably shouldn’t do this.
Ok, there are a lot of people out there who contributed, and I know there are a lot who just want to see the best for me regardless of money. So, to everyone first off, thank you. You all mean the world to me.
I don’t want to put this out all over the internet, so if you’re getting this in your inbox, please don’t share it without checking in with me first. Thanks.
So, there has been a lot of drama at home and my wife and I are seperating. In addition, Aaron called the house phone at the facillity and started yelling at a random guest about me. Both of these things distressed me and Llama and Aaron had made themselves unavailable, which forced me inside my head. I can’t speak for anyone else, but when there is stress, without communication, I go a little crazy.
Let me back up a little and say that when I hopped on a plane to Minneapolis, I was at rock bottom and Aaron reached out. I will be eternally grateful. In my alcoholic bender stupor, I just gathered a couple of things and got a ride to the airport as soon as possible. I was very, very desperate. I was told to just get my ass out there and Aaron would take care of the rest. Well, he did. He very generously kitted me out with clothes, got me a haircut, bought me some fresh drawers, etc. All extremely kind acts.
Now, back to the part about crazy. I was spiraling down, and couldn’t focous on the task at hand, me. I was unable to focus on myself and how to put the steps of the AA model together. Too many extraneous (sp) thoughts. Then, when Aaron found out that I wasn’t staying for six months in the twin cities in a sober house, I recieved a phone call from him. I was told that I needed to return everything that he had loaned to me, leaving me with very little to wear. That was his choice and I honored it.
Boom, that was the straw that broke the camels back. I had a major nervous breakdown and I got the shakes really bad as well as whole body spasms. Not fun. I went to my room to sleep and ended up not sleeping all night. Around 4am, the strangest thing happened. My alarm clock began rapidly moving around one side of the room, from point to point. Then, I entertained ghosts in my room for a solid hour. I was wide awake. I was hallucinating and experiencing what I can only describe as a psychotic episode. This was scary, made doubly so because my mom was diagnosed with paranoid schitzophrenia (sp) at about the same age I am now.
So, stressed, freaking out, and concerned that my alcoholism has been masking an underlying mental health issue, I decided to head home. I’m uninsured and my private doctor has ways of making things like psychologists visits affordable for a poor person like myself. It’s not what I wanted to do on a number of levels. Llama needs her space right now, and as I write this I’m sitting on a bus, headed home to encroach on her space. Not what I wanted to do. I needed to focus on recovery and I was cutting it short. Not what I wanted to do. The Retreat is an amazing facility with a staff that is 100% recovering alcoholics or addicts, they know what they’re talking about. It’s based on the AA model, which I am now fully invested in, as it’s more than a way to quit drinking, it lays down the framework to allow one to live a spiritual life with less selfishness and ego. Count me in. Leaving was not what I wanted to do. Then, there are the dozens of friends I made there, they didn’t want me to leave and I didn’t want to leave them.
I understand that 30 days is a big number phisiologically (sp), for recovery and in 45 minutes I’ll be on day 21. Nine to go and I know I can do that. I’m treating it like a challenge. When I was there I did a lot of running on the treadmill. Treadmills are boring, so I started to challenge myself to longer distances and faster speeds. I like pain and the challenge of pushing through it. My recovery is going to be like that, but with my mind rather than my body. If I’m questioning my mental stabillity, it seems to me that I should make sure that my brain is functioning properly before I present it with the biggest challenge I’ve ever given it.
Some of you may disagree with my actions and that’s fine, but in the end it’s the decision I chose to make.
I’m hitting the ground running here in NH, my recovery is my number one focus right now so please, don’t worry about that. This may be the single most important thing in my life that I HAVE TO DO.
To everyone who contributed, thank you so much. Just because I left early doesn’t mean your money went to waste. Not by a long shot. I had nearly three weeks of intensive AA crash course. I’m almost done with the fourth step and am a little nervous about the fifth, but it’s a super important one, in my opinion. I wouldn’t have the knowledge needed to do this without your kindness and generosity. Eight hours a day of AA meetings, lectures, and workshops packs a lot into ones brain in a short period of time.
Again, thanks everyone,
Brandon-
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 27, 2019 - 08:29am PT
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That was a while ago, and there’s a lot of follow up info, but I haven’t written about it yet. Yes, I’ve posted, but I haven’t written in depth yet.
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 27, 2019 - 08:31am PT
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Hardman Knott, that day of work was something else. Changing sprockets on a dtywall dryer in a huge Georgia Pacific drywall plant. It was a one day gig, and pretty strange.
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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Mill Valley, Ca
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Feb 27, 2019 - 08:37am PT
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Cool, man, thanks for the update. Keeping busy is a very good thing.
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D Murph
climber
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Feb 27, 2019 - 09:24am PT
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Sounding good Brandon, keep up the good work!
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, Moab, Bozeman, the ocean, or ?
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Feb 27, 2019 - 09:27am PT
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Susan
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Jim Clipper
climber
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Feb 27, 2019 - 09:36am PT
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Hang in there Brandon. Get through all this, and future setbacks will likely seem trivial.
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JLP
Social climber
The internet
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Feb 27, 2019 - 11:15am PT
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That's an awesome story - guy interrupts your treatment to demand the underwear he bought you back? I'd say that's a number you put on block.
I've known perfectly sober and healthy men who have also hallucinated during the loss of their relationships. I don't think it qualifies you as psychotic.
Good luck,
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