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thebravecowboy
climber
The Good Places
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Dec 14, 2015 - 08:35pm PT
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stick to it man. you've got this!
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 14, 2015 - 09:16pm PT
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Alcoholism is a double edge sword.
Going to AA isn't enough. That will only deal with the addiction side of the problem.
One really needs to address and deal with the coping mechanisms ( or lack of ) If you want to get off the sauce. Obviously how we/you deal with stress is the issue which brings you to the bottle.
Best of luck but don't just look at the bottle as the sole problem. It's a bigger demon than that
I understand what you're saying, but that's how a person with an addictive personality deals with sh#t. We are a wild and crazy bunch, our personality type, but we have our demons. I've been OCD all my life, and when it comes to abusing drugs/alcohol, I'm a master. Unfortunately...
El Cap!!! 6 years!!!!! Congrats, man. Good luck shaking your new friend. Hope the withdrawals end soon.
MikeL - Maybe have your wife read this thread? Tell her there's another person going through the same thing, and wishes her the best.
My biggest, smartest thing I did was finally admit that I was an alcoholic. Once the problem is identified, a solution can be planned.
Just got back from my first AA meeting. I felt good, albeit nervous at first. When asked if there were any noobs that wanted to introduce themselves, guess what I did? (read the thread title)
Thanks for the support, my bruthas, it helps.
Happie, how many years you got?
While I was in the 'joint', which totally reminded me of One Flew Over The Cuckcoo's Nest, I read an eye-opening book called,"Addictive Thinking - Understanding Self-Deception", by A. Twerski, M.D. He really digs into the subject. And the more of it I read, the more I realized that I am indeed that personality type. Goes deep on how people use rationalization, denial, projection to get what they want. Even how this type of person has a slightly different perception of time.
It was kind of chilling actually, he has me nailed better than I thought I did. Must read if you have this personality type. Blew my mind.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 14, 2015 - 09:39pm PT
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Yeah, good on ya ,Steve! That's an awkward. situarion, especially the first time!
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Dr.Sprock
Boulder climber
I'm James Brown, Bi-atch!
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Dec 14, 2015 - 09:49pm PT
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there are about 1000 meetings a day in the bay area,
try different meetings til you find find one you like,
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John M
climber
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Dec 14, 2015 - 09:58pm PT
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Steve.. I'm really grateful that you figured out you needed to quit alcohol. You and your family deserve a better life. Stopping alcohol will help you create that.
I have not read the whole thread. I did read Radicals post and he is right on. It took me 4 times to quit alcohol. I wasn't in as deep as you, but still had my issues. You can do it Steve. God Bless..
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 14, 2015 - 10:00pm PT
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there are about 1000 meetings a day in the bay area,
try different meetings til you find find one you like,
Roger that, doc!
Thanks, John.
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MikeL
Social climber
Seattle, WA
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Dec 14, 2015 - 10:11pm PT
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Steve:
I’ll see if she wants to read anything.
Getting some sort of handle on why you’re in the shape you are, I’ve found, is very helpful. It seems to give a person an anchor. From there, one can range but always come back and find the center. I did that with PTSD and some dysfunctional behaviors.
We all need ground. We can get a little lost on our own.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Trad climber
Will know soon
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Dec 14, 2015 - 10:11pm PT
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Still here with you, bluering, love and prayers, lynnie.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 14, 2015 - 10:24pm PT
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We all need ground. We can get a little lost on our own.
Yep.
If your wife would read it, I can ship my copy of the book to her. Even has my highlights in it!
Thanks, Lynne!
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BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
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Dec 14, 2015 - 11:33pm PT
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And the more of it I read, the more I realized that I am indeed that personality type.
how old are you dude? It's time to grow upppppppppppppppp
Edit; BEFORE YOU GO DOWN
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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Dec 15, 2015 - 08:22am PT
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Happie, how many years you got?
19 years.
I remember my "first" meeting..... I had decided to seek therapy, at the suggestion of a friend, because I felt there was something wrong in that I seemed unable to form connections with others. During that first therapy session, I was asked to "tell my story," and when I was done, the therapist said, matter of factly, "Oh, why didn't you say you were an alcoholic!?"
She said "We can do therapy, but if you aren't sober it will be a waste of your time and money." She then suggested I go to AA. Since I am NOT a person to ask for help, and when I DO, I take it seriously, I felt I had better do as she says if I am going to continue.
So.... I called up the number she gave me, for the New York City Intergroup office, and the guy gave me the info on a meeting that he said "sound perfect for you." It was supposedly a "hip meeting full of friendly younger people like myself."
I was REALLY excited. For the meeting, I changed into a nice outfit and put on make-up, something I rarely did(the make-up part). I was ready, willing and able.
The moment I closed the front door to my apartment, fear edged in.
As I walked down the stairs, the dread mounted. Four floors of dread accumulated and by the time I reached the ground floor, I was feeling major discomfort. I looked at the front door and didn't know how in hell I was going to open it and walk through. But I did it.
It would be a wonderful story to say that the early evening sun hit my face and I found renewed energy, but that wasn't the case. The "outside world," my busy Chelsea street bustling with after-work people on their way to wherever, only made it worse.
I felt the tears welling in my eyes, and a feeling in my stomach of complete dejection, and turned around. I walked back up those four flights of stairs and collapsed on my bed in tears. Never in my life have I felt so alone as I did at that time.
So - kudos to you, Bluering, for getting to that first meeting!
My second, or first "actual" meeting, went a lot better. It surely helped that I had the next therapy session coming up the next day and, if I went to the AA meeting, I would be able to tell the therapist I had done as the suggested. I was still absolutely terrified, but I made it through the door. The relief was immense, when after the meeting women came over to me to introduce themselves. That became my home group, the West End Group on the Upper West Side.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 15, 2015 - 08:36am PT
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Blueblocr, I know how that sounds. I'm 47, BTW, and I've known that I have this addictive personality type since college. I just went with it and tried to tame/control it for a long time. I did pretty well for a long time, but alcohol is just too insidious for me. I cannot tame it.
What the book did was confirm everything I already knew, but didn't want to recognize. It woke me up in a very clear, methodical manner. I could no longer deny it. It was better than a therapist.
EDIT: Happie, 19 years is awesome!! I know exactly what you mean about the first meeting.
Remember we met at the Facelift that one year? I undoubtedly had a beer in my hand constantly....No more!
You're an inspiration, Happie!
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Scrubber
climber
Straight outta Squampton
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Dec 15, 2015 - 09:20am PT
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Strong work Steve. One day at a time. Hopefully we'll clink (root) beer bottles together one day.
Kris
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Trad climber
Will know soon
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Dec 15, 2015 - 04:38pm PT
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Hi Friend, just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and prayed for you and your wonderful family today. If I can do anything let me know. You are loved and you are an incredible creation of God. You can do all things because our best friend, jesus, will give to the strength to do it. Cheers, Lynnie
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the Fet
climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
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Dec 15, 2015 - 05:17pm PT
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Pulling for you man. I lost my grandfather to alcohol long before I was born. I'm glad to see you getting that monkey of your back. Stay strong.
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Norton
Social climber
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Dec 15, 2015 - 05:30pm PT
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think Stevie Ray Vaughan, Blue
he knew he was hopelessly addicted and it was killing him and so he quit, period
you can go to Utube and watch/listen to Stevie talking at AA meetings
be strong, Steve
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Dec 15, 2015 - 08:44pm PT
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Hey man, I hope you're hanging in there. Lots of folks rooting for you.
One thing about this cold turkey kick I'm on, it's one helluva diet plan. I've been so nauseated for the last few days, I've eaten maybe 200-300 cal/day. Once this is over, I'm going to train for a couple weeks, then go climb something hard. I should have a superb strength:weight by then.
I don't know if you're having sleep issues, but for me tart cherry juice has helped a lot with the withdrawal insomnia (the tart cherry triggers melatonin, which in turn regulates your sleep patterns). Last time I didn't have any sleep aids and got maybe 3hr/night during the detox, this time the tart cherry is working great, getting more like 6-7hr. You could probably just take some melatonin OTC product, but then you don't get the other benefits of the tart cherry juice.
Thanks Nita and Jay, I appreciate it. My family are all 3000mi away, and my support network is a little thin. A couple friends here in the IE have stepped up and stand ready to help. I'm quietly confident that I'll get through this one, today were the worst cravings as I expected. Nausea seems to be tapering off a little, I just ate a cup of quinoa with a handful of cranberries for dinner...only thing I've had all day aside from a cup of coffee at dawn.
Knowing what to expect makes it somehow better and worse at the same time. It can be a kind of adventure the first time. Second time around, it's a grind. You know what's coming, you know it will suck.
Three days down for me. Two more really bad days, then it gets much easier. I know reading about other random peoples' withdrawal stories on the 'net has helped me a lot with getting through the hard parts. It makes you feel not alone in what you're going through, and it distracts me for an hour or two at a time, by which time the craving has usually passed.
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overwatch
climber
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Dec 15, 2015 - 08:49pm PT
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Pardon me if I missed it or if you don't want to say but what are you detoxing from, Ecap?
Best of luck to you and Mr. Ring
vvvvvvvvvv understood, thanks for the response
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Dec 15, 2015 - 09:08pm PT
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I'd prefer to keep that info off the internet.
Despite my best efforts over the years, we have a few d-bags around this place now who think "outing" someone by addressing them by their full name, when they specifically use an avatar for privacy/employment reasons, is a cool thing to do while they play their little games of internet police.
I will say this, it's not one of the common culprits (i.e. not benzos, opiates, amphetamines, or coke).
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