Anyone want to help a brother out?

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Happiegrrrl2

Trad climber

Feb 24, 2019 - 12:32pm PT

Can ya just let the guy at least get 90 days sober before this an' thatting him?

First things first.

WBraun

climber

Feb 24, 2019 - 01:16pm PT

Who the f__k are you, blow J?

His dad?

Get your own life in order he don't need you to tell him what to do ....

divad

Trad climber

wmass

Feb 24, 2019 - 01:27pm PT

Actually Werner, he is asking us what to do.

Makes me wonder, is it duck blind or blind duck?

WBraun

climber

Feb 24, 2019 - 01:29pm PT

He doesn't need that dickhead Blow J .....

divad you should get a life too!

divad

Trad climber

wmass

Feb 24, 2019 - 01:35pm PT

I've got a life Werner, as you do too.

It's your supertopo persona that I wonder about.

johntp

Trad climber

Punter

Feb 24, 2019 - 02:27pm PT

Nobody needs the dickmoves - especially somebody who's in the throes of major life changes.

It's easy to kick a man when he is down.

Don't know Brandon, but talked to him on the phone and he seems like a decent, intellegent guy. Has he made some poor choices? Probably, but who among us hasn't? As posted somewhere above, rocks and glass houses.

Treezypoof

Trad climber

Cyberia

Feb 24, 2019 - 03:11pm PT

Same folks celebrate Beckey and Bridwells dirtbaggery.

We're supposed to believe they've done so well in life, yet they spend their time anonymously attacking people on the net. Lol.

johntp

Trad climber

Punter

Feb 24, 2019 - 03:39pm PT

We’re not begging on the internet

Brandon is not begging. He's reaching out to the tribe for help. If you have a problem with that STFU! Why do you seem to gain pleasure by disparaging him?

To put it into climbing terminology, he is asking for someone to throw him a rope and put him on belay.

formerclimber

Boulder climber

Feb 24, 2019 - 04:59pm PT

Where he lives has allowed him to get to 40 under the radar of life with zero credit. That complete stupidity needs to end right now. He has all sorts of rationalizations for that "my wife and I chose to be debt free...bla,bla,bla". I wonder what kind of jobs he has had, W2, 1099 pretend contractor or under the table. With zero credit, there are a lot of jobs he isn't going to get.

Actually, for a person with drinking addiction it's better not to have credit, rather than have one. Beats running large debts while having drinking sprees.
And regarding jobs: nobody really cares about "credit" when hiring... they're just checking for things like certain judgements, really bad scenarios, for jobs mostly in banking/accounting where one got access to finances and books.

Off White

climber

Tenino, WA

Feb 24, 2019 - 05:17pm PT

I dunno, BJ's derision and tough love is likely to do Brandon as much good as all the internet attaboy ballcupping going on here in yet another Poor Brandon thread. I'd guess a lot of the folks with a harsh response have a little history dealing with alcoholics; I know I've had more than my share and it definitely punches my buttons.

Here's a little story from a few years back. BVB drove up from San Diego to come for a visit. He'd been obviously wasted for days but denying it, trying to hide his intake. He got on Supertopo to post a pity party invitation to all you good citizens about how his best friend's wife was such a bitch for yelling at him and making him clean up the 16oz coffee he spilled all over the floor when he stumbled coming into the house. Bob protested that he was sick, running a fever, and this harridan was just so horrible to him. He got lots of support from all you folks about what a crappy friend I am and how if that was your wife you'da knocked her in the head and throwed her in the ditch. Ya'll were so sympathetic and supportive of poor BVB.

Thing was he'd just come back from a doctor shopping trip in Olympia where he scored 40 vicodin, and he was in the midst of his 3 day run consuming 60 Xanax, and drinking a quart of Crown Royal per day. Yeah he was sick, but not in the way you thought. We were pretty sick too, of him slumped in the living room chair, mumbling and ranting, and peeing all over the bathroom floor. I was working just down the driveway in my office when I read his lil' tirade on ST, so I went up to the house for the confrontation. Got him to an AA meeting that night, several more over the next couple days though I doubt he ever got sober, and checked him into a low income rehab facility as my wife and I had to go to the midwest for her mother's 95th birthday.

Bob stayed about 6 days at the clinic before checking himself out, because, you know, it was so low class and they served baloney sandwiches, and he was going to be fine, he had this. That was the third time I'd personally checked him into rehab, and he still had three more stints ahead of him before he died. The Supertopo backslapping made him feel good for a couple hours, made some of you feel good too, but it was all just bullsh#t.

I read Brandon's protests about why he had to leave his first rehab stint early, his tales of how deeply he's driven his life into the ditch, the combination of self-loathing and dodging of blame, the insistence that he's sober, and I think: "I've been bullshitted by better drunks than you before."

Now, I don't know Brandon, and I don't really have a dog in this fight, just my own reaction to the latest trainwreck drama spread across this forum. Yeah, it's just my emotions and perspective, my own litany of dead family, friends and exes, and there's no reason why my opinion ought to carry any weight, I'm just another stranger on the internet. Maybe he'll turn this around, I know folks who've done that, and good on him if he does. Or maybe he'll die; alone like Steve in his Chicago apartment where it was a week before anyone noticed, or after ten weeks in a hospital bed like my mother, or in his sleep in his childood bedroom like BVB. I just think a bunch of internet avatars patting his back or talking sternly to him will have no effect on the outcome.

formerclimber

Boulder climber

Feb 24, 2019 - 05:32pm PT

They all "run credit"...do you really think they care about "no credit" situation?
They don't!
Moreover, they don't care for bad credit either, unless there's some ugly judgement on the history.
None of them care, except for certain bank/accounting positions.

John M

climber

Feb 24, 2019 - 05:38pm PT

I just think a bunch of internet avatars patting his back or talking sternly to him will have no effect on the outcome.

I see it a bit differently. I went through some really bad years and this place was part of my refuge. For years the outdoors was my refuge from physical and mental illness. It helped keep me sane, though I had many problems. Then I stopped being able to get out and the taco stand, as messed up as it is, helped me through. Oh for sure I got some pretty serious hate for airing it out here, including some nasty emails and texts, but I also got a lot of support. I won't forget that support.

My experience is that some people you can't save. No matter how hard that you try. But others do make it and I prefer keep that hope. Its not blind hope. I know the risks because I too lost a friend to his addictions, but people do make it out of their addictions. Thats my hope for Brandon.

I'm sorry for your loss Off White. BVB sure seemed larger then life. I wish that he could have kicked his problems and was still around. I'm sure that you did the best that you could for him.

Off White

climber

Tenino, WA

Feb 24, 2019 - 06:03pm PT

Thanks for reporting your experience John, I appreciate it and I'll consider revising my opinion. I'm glad things are better for you.

Happiegrrrl2

Trad climber

Feb 24, 2019 - 06:15pm PT

Thing is, some people do well with hardass toughness. B's friend Aaron said that worked for him. Me, all that does is tell me I'd better not let on with anything I'm dealing with and figure it out on my own. For an alcoholic, because our thinking can be so skewed, that's usually not going to go very well.

I take no issue with toughness, but telling someone to get out of the house, make incestuous innuendos(mother in law carp), suggest coming and landing on someone's house for work offered before the offerer were aware there even was an alcohol problem, while someone is in the vulnerable place of early sobriety-those things don't seem helpful, imo.

Brandon-

climber

The Granite State.

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 24, 2019 - 07:05pm PT

I’m not getting out of the house, I’m going to work tomorrow. New job. Repairing boilers, good stuff.

Jaybro

Social climber

Wolf City, Wyoming

Feb 24, 2019 - 07:54pm PT

You can’t “save” anyone.

The person has to decide to quit. We can only offer information, encouragement, etc. sometimes you need to provide tough love.

But the quiting can only, ultimately, come from the person who quits.

tradmanclimbs

Ice climber

Pomfert VT

Feb 24, 2019 - 07:55pm PT

Good deal. Every day is a new day!

Brandon-

climber

The Granite State.

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 24, 2019 - 08:59pm PT

Every day is a new opportunity, and I’m treating it that way. Feeling suicidal is a shitty thimg, but it’s something that I’m moving beyond. Life sucks and then you move beyond it and fix it.