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yosguns
climber
San Francisco, CA
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Topic Author's Original Post - Aug 16, 2008 - 12:44am PT
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Yeah...probably belonged in the women's forum on rc.com.
So how does one not take himself so seriously?
Take it like a man.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Aug 16, 2008 - 01:08am PT
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HAHAHAHA nice delete.
Good way to lose any hope of credibility.
Again, you have soooo many problems, I doubt you will find the answer on the internet.
One of em is suffering form a bad case of California Syndrome.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Aug 16, 2008 - 01:34am PT
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HEHE, yeah, ignore me, and listen to the biggest twit on the site.
But don't ignore your problem.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Aug 16, 2008 - 01:39am PT
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since you're a chick....just be yourself. You climb, like guys, whatever...be yourself, you;ll find a stud...or a stallion, don't look too hard, it might be there.
There must be reason you ask the question. Care to share?
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yosguns
climber
San Francisco, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 16, 2008 - 02:14am PT
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Yeah...I'm having trouble with my climbing identity ;-) As far as credibility goes...I don't need much of that here. What are we all doing online on Friday night anyway?
Work sucks, I'm pretty tired...just didn't want to drive for five hours tonight. Whine whine bitch bitch moan moan. Tomorrow AM...bright and early.
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MisterE
Social climber
My Inner Nut
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Aug 16, 2008 - 12:59pm PT
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Re:OP
As in all relationships, climbing ones have their good and bad sides. I consider any climbing male very fortunate to find a good woman who climbs. Damn the torpedoes from there out.
The answer to your question may be humility (think Peter Croft, Wolfgang Gullich, two shining examples).
Be slow, careful and choose wisely. There are many single climbing males to choose from, it seems to me.
Erik
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Roman
Trad climber
Boston
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Aug 16, 2008 - 01:13pm PT
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You're a female.. you climb... and you are having trouble finding a man?! Only a few things can be the problem (or as is most often for people who do what we do... ALL OF THEM):
#1 You are as ugly as the rest of us
#2 You don't want to get with anyone as ugly as the rest of us
#3 You are absolutely bonkers and people can tell as soon as you open your mouth.
Simple stuff. Welcome to climbing. I think it was Anastasia who said it best (I'm paraphrasing here) Date people to date them, climb with people to climb with them. errrr maybe she said she only climbs with people who want to have fun CLIMBING with her and dont have hidden agendas. Anyway the point still stands!
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Anastasia
climber
Not there
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Aug 16, 2008 - 08:20pm PT
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I did mean no hidden agendas...
If you want to date someone, just tell them. It is surprising how much shiest you can avoid with such honesty.
I climb with friends and like the comfort of not having to turn someone down repeatedly throughout the day. I want to have fun climbing with everyone there. I hate when someone won't take "no" and acts like a stalker, interferes with my interactions, etc.
Yet, if someone shows interest... Let's me know and then backs off and waits for me to come to them... Well, that is such a compliment. There is no drama, no games... Even if I don't date them, I will at least have a feeling of great respect towards them. I might even start thinking of introducing them to some cute friends that might be their match.
AF
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Jaybro
Social climber
wuz real!
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Aug 16, 2008 - 10:01pm PT
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...you'd think...
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 16, 2008 - 10:32pm PT
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hey there say, locker pin-pointed the subject well, by saying:
"relationships in general".. and "hard work"...(good call, locker)
so true, so you must rememeber this---too---like a garden, relationships must be cultivated, YET, the wisdom is in knowing how and why, each "relationship/garden" is different....
each must be cultivated differently, (take care not to do any wrong-actions in the wrong garden, etc) or it will upset the growth, causing things to grow wrong, sending the everything into a mess...
the only way to keep your "gardens" or "relations" growing right, is to know WHO you are, as the gardener... or you will tend to the climbing-relation-garden and the personal-relationship-garden, in criss-cross manners and perhaps mess them both up.... (and most likely, your gardening skills will be highly questioned by you, and you will lack all self-confidence for the future)... (very hard to recover from)... (and you will miss many a climb, and many a good friendship, by fearing to press-on)...
get a good foundation in who you are, love yourself and your skills and be able to smile at yourself in the mirror---and you will garden all your relationship just fine one day... :)
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Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, Ca
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Aug 16, 2008 - 10:50pm PT
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" ...my policy with dating is to end something at the first sign that he isn't right for me.
like the last guy. he made one totally stupid comment and that was it. i knew it in an instant... "
t*r, you sound like you are on a mission to nowhere. I am in the best ever relationship of my life, yes with a woman who climbs. If I had held her to your standard I would have had to run screaming in the first five minutes, but of course she would have booted me even faster.
We're all human. Look for the good.
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rich sims
Trad climber
co
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Aug 16, 2008 - 10:57pm PT
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Date
shest Last time I was on a date not with my wife was..........
umm....
Thinking
it was
it was in
well sometime in
1981
dam it was awhile ago
and it is still good!
Even better now the kids are grown!!!!
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Aug 18, 2008 - 09:02am PT
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That's only true if your gut instincts are any good.
Ahem.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Aug 18, 2008 - 11:02am PT
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What Ksolem said...worked for me too.
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Anastasia
climber
Not there
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Aug 18, 2008 - 11:45am PT
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Well, sometimes you fall in love quickly and sometimes it happens slowly.
All I know is that everything should start as a friendship. Since friendships are built on accepting people as who they are, this is a challenge since everyone is flawed. True friendship is about seeing/accepting these flaws and learning to work with them. This allows you to really understand if you are compatible or not.
Then, if you still find each other attractive, go for it!
Yet if the attraction dies quickly, you just spared yourself some embarrassment and you still have a friend out of the experience.
AF
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slobmonster
Trad climber
berkeley, ca
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Aug 18, 2008 - 12:56pm PT
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I have known a few couples who climbed together, and did so very well.
Indeed, I think my ex-GF and I made a pretty good team. But this does not mean there was an absence of problems. Rather, when something *else* was going on in our relationship, climbing together only magnified the problem.
So it was ironic that after we broke up, we discussed climbing together, something big, maybe a wall. But this was fleeting. Like any partnership that had run its course, we were not to climb together again.
Good luck with your struggles.
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JLP
Social climber
The internet
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Aug 18, 2008 - 01:15pm PT
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Intense climbing and stable relationships don't mix. If you don't know why, you are probably still in your 20's. Find a pair who embody both, and I'll show you a pair who hasn't been together for more than 7 years. There are exceptions, but very few. I climb with my wife a lot, but not on my big routes.
My words of wisom, since this thread seems to be full of them: Find someone who will put up with your sh#t. That's the One. When you find that person, return the favor by learning to put up with their sh#t. You have now found true love.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Aug 19, 2008 - 07:18am PT
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Well JLP, there was a married couple who did a lot of the early climbing in the needles, SD, and they were together forever.
Can't think if their names right now, but they were certainly well known for their routes.
The woman did a lot of the hard leading, in tight Keds.
So I guess you are wrong then.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Aug 19, 2008 - 08:17am PT
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There are few things worse than being stuck on a wall with a whench who just revealed that she is thinking about hooking up with an old flame. It really helps when she tells you the news that your life is f*#ked right before the crux pitch and it's your lead...............
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Jaybro
Social climber
wuz real!
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Aug 19, 2008 - 08:37am PT
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I think Dirt means the Conns, (Herb & Jan(?)) perfect example.
I hung with two other such couples last week. I've climbed with two other pairs this summer.
Though a successful climbing/romantic relationship is the exception rather than the rule, I completely do not buy JLP's premise.
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