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Russ Walling
Social climber
Out on the sand.... man.....
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Topic Author's Original Post - Mar 5, 2007 - 12:51am PT
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Really quick and really bad TR.... we went to New Jack City for the day. The usual crew, me, Will and Sooze. There may be a 50/50 ratio of broken glass to sand at the base of the routes, but this place is kinda ok.... So we do a warm-up....
Then we do another one, which seemed more like a warm-out.... I was already gassed...
The wind is whipping pretty good so we decide to eat sandwiches in the car, which thank God is close by... I think we might of had some beer too..... Then we make the 5 minute drive to a another crag that should be a bit warmer. This approach is not too bad and the distance to the crag is right in my comfort zone.
We decide to tick the entire cliff, and since they are all pretty easy, we actually have a chance this time.
Here is Will on something....
And Susan leading something that we thought was something else.... she thought it was a heavy gravity day until we found out she was on a harder route than planned... this happens out there. The guidebook is pretty darn sad, and most crag drawings look like a lump of mashed potatoes with a few lines drawn about the mound. But I digress....
Here is Will bouldering up to the first clip on something.. Susan is ready to spot him if a mishap occurs.... Will thinks she will save him... this theory is still unproven.
Susan just keeps on leading these things while we watch her clip away and listen to Barstow radio, which is better than you would think if you are old like us. Nuthin' but classic rock with a hard edge to it... We decided the rockin' tunes were worth at least 3 letter grades in pure power and psyche.
Susan on the sharp end again leading the big meanie of the entire cliff....
She makes us all lead these damn things, so Will goes next..... I'm giving the usual belay.
Then will decides to get sketched out since there are basically ZERO holds up top... and he takes a whistler.... and clangs back into the underside of the overhang and does some sorta damage to his patella.... In the trade I think they call it "blunt force trauma". We quickly get him a beer, as we carry no first aid kit. Here he is moments before he pitched.
The only good thing to come out of Wills ripper was the massive enhancement that my package received from my harness. It was so grand, that I had Susan snap a pic just in case Ron Jeremy ever retires.
Ok... the crag is now ticked according to the guidebook... and it's getting late. But, there are two more routes down at the scabby end of the cliff that are not in the guide, but for some reason we must do... Sooze leads them up in about 3 minutes flat.
True to New Jack form, I was shot and nearly killed just as we were coiling the ropes and waxing our draws...
And then the next day.... Will is still dust. The booze, ice, and pills we gave him when we got back to Casa del Pescado could not overcome the patella situation. That did not get me off the hook though... Sooze made me go into the Monument (that would be Joshua Tree National Park for you young'uns) to do more routes.
We pick a nice sunny crag and start ticking them off.... Sooze gets the 3 star 5.9.
She also gets its easier twin right next door, which is basically the same route but with worse rock. It was sort of an adventure. Now it is my turn to lead. I get something a fair bit harder, with no stars, some loose rock, suspect pro, and on Mountain Project a local guide said something like "sketchy pro, good luck bro..." in the description. I can hardly wait....
It did not disappoint. I pretty much moan the whole way up and all the hype was true.... Rock was loose... pro was sorta ok.... seemed harder than the rating.... bad anchor.... rap from a slung horn.... NBD.
For anyone visiting the area, this thing is a "must do".... When we got home I went directly to Mountain Project and added stars to this beauty! I wonder what we will do next week?
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Shack
Big Wall climber
Reno NV
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How many blocks of chalk did you go through?
That's the real yard stick.
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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hmmm, if I ever hanker to visit that spot I'll get you and Sooze to come out and supply the beta...
...unlikely though (not the visit, but the trip out to NJC).
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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
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Fish-flop! Not!
Good story.
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Watusi
Social climber
Joshua Tree, CA
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Cool Beans Russ!! Looks like a Rockin'Good Time!!!
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marky
climber
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superb. best thing I read this weekend
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TopRopeGun
Trad climber
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That is some funny shit!
The man tube shot is straight egregious torture to the Captain and two Neils!
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Yah00
Trad climber
CA
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Great TR as usual Russ!
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WBraun
climber
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Whatya mean it's free?
Man, now my eyes hurt.
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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SO if that's a really bad TR, what are the rest of the TRs on this site...Chopped Liver?
I could think of lots of good things to say about this TR
But what fun would that be. Let's see how you could do better in the future.
1. Sooze should be pictured closer and in sports bra/shorts. Duh
2. Beer infused prone position should also be cropped to show face closely
3. Sport climbing is neither, even if your package appears larger due to Gri-Gri lockup
4. There is no 4
5. There is no 5 either
6. More 6 in your TR please!
7. I'm not witty enough to continue
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Largo
Sport climber
Venice, Ca
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"And Susan leading something that we thought was something else . . . "
Now buddy, unless I knew better I'd a thunk you was trying to write in iambic somethingorother.
The pic of your sorry ass lying in the dirt is money.
JL
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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He might have a sorry ass but I don't think his ass is sorry.
unrepentass
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J. Werlin
climber
Cedaredge
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Russ--
in the beer-swilling shot: what is that mysterious bulge in your haul--I mean chalk bag? Looks of similiar size and shape to the one between our President's shoulder blades as seen in the debates.
Thanks for the hilarious start to the week.
PS: if you really want to give Ron Jeremy a run try duct taping a scrap of shag to your back.
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Zander
Trad climber
Berkeley
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Thanks Russ,
Just try to do better next time, will ya.
Zander
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WBraun
climber
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I thought it was a good TR. Funnier than sh't.
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G_Gnome
Boulder climber
Sick Midget Land
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Hey Russ, we missed you by a day. Sunday was even better, shorts and t-shirts. All the sport babes were out in their sports bras dude. We sent all the routes on a wall too. Funny how that happens there. None of us acquired a bulge like that though (thank god) but then none of us took the big whipper either! I think we are too scared of each other's belaying to risk such an event.
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healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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If it weren't for the folks, gear, car, and tire tracks in that third pic down I'd think it was a pretty good sized wall or buttress somewhere in RR...
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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man, that new jack stuff looks like the chossiest choss i've ever laid eyes on. crackerjacks and oatmeal held together by cheap, water-soluble glue. made my bowels all runny jus' lookin at it. oh, and i done that last route in your TR. it's too swole!! five star classic in my book.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Nothing but pure fun action with this trio! Only exception to the fun is Will playing whack-a-mole with his knee.
Thank goodness we had those ESB beers & "the drive" playing on the car stereo.
Points of interest....
Pictures 1 & 2 are taken with sleep still in our eyes - Predator Wall- Vertigo 11a & Hero Worship 11b
For the record...those are no warm up but I did feel like I got a cheap microdermabrasion treatment. The wind was howling!
Pic 3 - White Face which is conveniently located 25 yards from the loo.
Pic 4 - White Head 5.9
Pic 5 & 6 - Snow White 10d/11a
Pic 7 - White Head 10b
Pic 8 - Stemroids 11a
Pic 9 - Crag beer (Natural Ice)
Pic 10 - Stemroids aka knee knocker
Pic 11 - my man's package, that's right ladies he's all mine!!!
Pic 12 - mystery route
Pic 13 - the man sunnin' himself
Overall, the White Face is a good wall. The rock and routes are much better than they look when coming out of the potty. Multi-star on each one, warm & convenient.
~Susan
p.s. BVB, Flag is dead and NJC lives!
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spyork
Social climber
Land of Green Stretchy People
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Nice TR!
Good for a chuckle here in cubicle wasteland...
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