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NFB
Mountain climber
Wilson, Wyoming
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Topic Author's Original Post - Apr 21, 2010 - 07:32pm PT
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I just read my homie's TR about Jessica Alba, The Canoe, and beak tips. Whilst enjoying one of the best TR's ever written, I noticed that Ryan managed to do some "cop whispering" on that trip.
I can legitimately claim to be a genuine "cop whisperer". I get pulled over all the farking time but never get tickets. Last time I got pulled over (which was about two weeks ago), I was:
speeding
talking on the phone
had a cracked windshield
no front plate
no license
no seatbelt
I go a warning for all and a $25 dollar fine for the seat belt.
I am fascinated by the art. Any tricks you Taco Standers have would be appreciated.
My tricks (not in any order of importance):
--Always take off glasses and put on dash (while Johnny is on approach)
--keep hands in clear view, on the wheel
--"yes sir, no sir, 74???, 64???, I am pretty much blowing it on all fronts"...
--I have short hair and am white (perhaps the best strategy)
--if I have time, I switch the radio to country and western
--Act like Johnny is a dangerous dog and that he could bite me at any time
That is about it.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Apr 21, 2010 - 07:37pm PT
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sounds like the 'art of being respectful'
LEOs are people too.
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tolman_paul
Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
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Apr 21, 2010 - 07:45pm PT
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Even though I follow all those rules, I've never been given a warning.
I did finally figure out that not being the fastest guy on the road and keeping it to at most 9 over tends to keep one from being pulled over.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Apr 21, 2010 - 07:45pm PT
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my secret is sympathy.
i drive a beater truck,
and i always have a child's car seat
riding bitch, with some toys
strewn about.
im always pulled over during my morn commute, at 3 am.
"yes sir. i'll replace my tail light. no. havent been
drinkin. im off to work so that i have something to put
in my will."
so's far so good.
i have spent the night in the paddy wagon though. what a trip that was.
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cintune
climber
the Moon and Antarctica
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Apr 21, 2010 - 07:52pm PT
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Got pulled over one late night for stopping first and then going through a red light, because no one was coming. Cop was lurking right there behind me. It occurred to me that turning on the inside light would be a good idea as he walked up. "Why did you do that?" he asked, "You stopped, and then ran the light."
He seemed genuinely puzzled.
"Just in a hurry to get home, I guess."
Between the light and the aw shucks answer, got off with a warning.
Mostly depends what kind of day they're having, I think.
Older cops are a lot easier to get a pass from, too. Hotshot rookies always seem to be the biggest nimrods.
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shipoopoi
Big Wall climber
oakland
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Apr 21, 2010 - 07:52pm PT
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if i knew then what i know now, i would have avoided a lot of tickets. we are talking in the neighboorhood of 25 separate violations on my record in the ditch. my number one rule for dealing with cops is to not be behind the wheel of a car while dealing with them. I feel if i am driving, and get pulled over, the ticket is almost automatic, unless an overriding tragedy takes precedent, like i got out of one on 911, and also when a cop got called in to deal with a large fire.
so, i guess the lesson of this story is, when there is a major catastrophy happening, that is a great time to speed. shipoopoi
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Chinchen
climber
Anacortes, wa
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Apr 21, 2010 - 07:54pm PT
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Im terrible at dealing with cops.
I guess you can only whisper when you have a dick in your mouth....
;)
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Edge
Trad climber
New Durham, NH
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Apr 21, 2010 - 08:02pm PT
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"Pardon me sir, but your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?"
"I dunno, ossifer. Your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
(Don't try this at home. I am a trained professional, and it still didn't work...)
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GhoulweJ
Trad climber
Sacramento, CA
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Apr 21, 2010 - 08:03pm PT
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1988 True story
Officer walks up, I already have the window down.
I say "Great, perfect, this is just what I need. My business is in the tank, I'll probably lose it. My girl leaving and taking everything I have. Perfect. just write me a friggin ticket. I don't care". And I stuff my arm out the window with reg and insurance.
Cop says: "You don't need a ticket. You need a drink. Just slow it down and merge nice and easy back into traffic and obey the speed limit."
Now that I think about it, it helped with my day... Thanks officer
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divad
Trad climber
wmass
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Apr 21, 2010 - 08:10pm PT
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Any tricks you Taco Standers have would be appreciated.
I usually say that my son is a state trooper. It seems to work for me.
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JLP
Social climber
The internet
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Apr 21, 2010 - 09:05pm PT
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I say you can't fake it.
Some people have genuinely friendly and respectful personalities that cops (and everyone else) pick up on instantly and subconsciously through body language, eye contact - everything.
Me - I'm a total as#@&%e. I struggle at times to turn it off - but for cops, I don't bother. My attitude is "nice catch bro" - and I really mean it. I work to avoid getting caught while flying down the highway, but once in awhile I slip. No need for dumb excuses, stupid looks or some poor whiney ass victim story. I get a ticket every single time. It's a tax on speeders. I'm cool with it. I pay my dues about once a year. I'm sure the money goes to a good cause.
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Apr 21, 2010 - 09:13pm PT
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JLP and I have this in common. I am who I am. At times it's meant no ticket. At other times, it's meant a ticket. Hey, if I'm speeding (or whatever), I deserve it.
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Fletcher
Trad climber
not very much, recently.
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Apr 21, 2010 - 09:34pm PT
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As my wife says, I'm a total boy scout and it's easy to tell when I'm lying if you know where to look. Any experienced cop will have a good sense of that anyway... my wife sure does! At least with me, I usually know what I was doing and am honest about it. Playing dumb doesn't help.
Anyway, my best "get out of jail free" card has been kids. Once, coming back from a camping trip with my oldest girl years ago (she was four at the time) in the Carson Pass area, I got pulled over on Highway 88. As usual, officer asks me if I knew that I was speeding. "Yeah, I guess I got going too fast going down hill." He eyes my daughter in the booster seat and says, "Well, be careful and obey the limit, these mountain roads are more dangerous than people think."
Then, a few weeks ago, I had all three of the young ones with me (11 mo., 4 and 6). There was some big soccer game at the Rose Bowl and there was tons of traffic in Pasadena and cops everywhere. I turn left into a side street to get to my house and no one is in that lane except way, way down, at least a quarter mile, maybe more. I see a cruiser coming with lights on and without thinking just make the turn. The second I committed, I knew he was flying as he was almost on me (probably doing 70 to 80 on a normally 35 street), but I still had time to make it. Next thing I know, some pal of fattrads (LA Sheriff) pulls up behind me out of nowhere, right in front of our house. "Yes, officer, I knew that the second I did that it was a bad idea." Three wide eyed guys in the back of the car helped me just get off with a warning. I think it helped it was in front of my house too.
It's pretty hard to bust daddy in front of the kids for stuff like that.
Eric
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justthemaid
climber
Jim Henson's Basement
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Apr 21, 2010 - 10:03pm PT
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Any whispering lore for bicycle cops? My last 3 out of my last 4 tickets...bicycle cops. I don't think they are as impressed by country western music for some reason. Perhaps the stupid helmets and exposure to the elements and the lack of a place to set their coffee cup makes them more irritable?
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Apr 22, 2010 - 09:51am PT
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I have been allowed to skate on some potentially serious charges and I have also been hogtied and beaten merely for flunking the attitude test, and I have plenty of experience in between.
There are too many variables to list.
Like, last saturday, I spent the afternoon shooting near Golden Shores, Arizona with Ron Killian and he says, "Hey, whatever happened to Nate Brown?"
And I said, "Well, when he's not whispering to cops he's stirring up shite on the internet."
Then a cop drives by. Waves. No problem.
There are too many variables to even attempt to list.
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Edge
Trad climber
New Durham, NH
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Apr 22, 2010 - 10:30am PT
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Good stuff Dingus, as always.
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rectorsquid
climber
Lake Tahoe
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Apr 22, 2010 - 10:54am PT
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Being 45 and white does help a bit.
Always pull as far off the road as possible so the cop doesn't have to stand in the road and risk getting hit. They seem to appreciate it.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to a night class at the college."
Sounding humble and on the way to something important helps too.
But being 45 and white is probably what saves me most of the time.
Dave
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xkyczar
Trad climber
denver
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Apr 22, 2010 - 11:12am PT
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Read this some place else and haven't tried it yet.
Toss a little water on your forehead (saliva will work). As cop approaches and can see you cough or sneeze covering mouth with hand holding your license. Let cop know before you hand over your license that this intense fever came out of nowhere and you are trying to get home.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Apr 22, 2010 - 11:32am PT
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Being 45 and white does help a bit.
I don't think being 45 is pertinent unless that is your bra size.
I knew an ex-Air Force colonel and 757 captain who got pulled over regularly in his late model 911 despite being highly averse to speeding. He figured speeding would really get him in more trouble than just being BWDP - BLack While Driving a Porsche (which you own).
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JLP
Social climber
The internet
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Apr 22, 2010 - 11:50am PT
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"Being 45 and white does help a bit."
Yeah - whatever - being white and 45 probably means you weren't doing 110 in a 55 either.
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