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Banquo
Trad climber
Morgan Hill, CA
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 19, 2010 - 10:38am PT
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Thumbing through Christian Beckwith's summer 1995 "Mountain Yodel" I came across a box called "The Mountain Yodel Top Ten List" which in this issue is subtitled "Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear Your Belayer Say."
I like #8: Hey, Downclimb about ten feet so I can reach the end of the rope!
and #5: Falling!
I bet you Tacos can think of some better ones.
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Jan 19, 2010 - 11:35am PT
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8 is surely a winner!
"My vaporizer just ran out of batteries."
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Jan 19, 2010 - 11:52am PT
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"Did you want to be on belay?"
true! Heard at Castle Rock State Park from lounging girlfriend as boyfriend makes his first clip.
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:08pm PT
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Guido confirmed to me that No. 5 ("Falling!") actually happened to Don Lauria.
John
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Roxy
Trad climber
CA Central Coast
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:09pm PT
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I still laugh at, "are you the man or the hand?"
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ydpl8s
Trad climber
Santa Monica, California
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:09pm PT
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This one actually happened to me, mid pitch..."are you in a good place? I'm gonna run over to my pack and get my camera"
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Batrock
Trad climber
Burbank
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:22pm PT
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"Oh, my chest, feels like an elephants sitting on...........
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Chip
Trad climber
Sittin' Pretty in Fat City
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:23pm PT
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"Are you allergic to bees?!!" Thankfully, I am not, but they do leave an impression. Anyone remember the wasp "death stars" at the gunks back in the 80s?
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Anne Yeagle
climber
utah
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:33pm PT
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Actual words:
If you fall, you are going to bashing into that wall!
If you fall, you're gonna deck!
The green dental floss you used to sew up the crotch of your pants is coming undone.
You're looking tired.
Why are you so nervous?
Why are your legs shaking?
Hurry up! Do you know how long you've been up there?
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jfailing
Trad climber
A trailer park in the Sierras
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:35pm PT
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K-man, how about "Hey, can you get a good stance in that chimney so I can light my cigarette?"
... ahem ... sorry about that.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:37pm PT
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Actually heard in the "middle" of an A5 pitch.
"C'mon man, it's getting dark!!"
As if I hadn't feckin' noticed.......
Number one above is still a winner!!
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Dirka
Trad climber
SF
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:43pm PT
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Female Brazilian partner- "Dukie! It is Raining". As the simple trough I was leading became a river- "Yeah, I noticed that too."
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ec
climber
ca
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:50pm PT
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While belaying a friend of mine, who hadn't led much, on a new route (1st pitch) some eight miles from the car (casually): "Hey man, it's a grounder from where you're at."
 ec
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doofus
Trad climber
Bouldering Sucks
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Jan 19, 2010 - 12:53pm PT
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"Hey, watch this..."
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ec
climber
ca
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Jan 19, 2010 - 01:05pm PT
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While leading difficult aid on Tehipite into the night (approx. 11pm), from Ron: "Ed, Guy's (my belayer) falling asleep down here."
ec
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Scared Silly
Trad climber
UT
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Jan 19, 2010 - 01:08pm PT
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One of my favorites "How does this belay thingy work again?"
Last weekends conversation while simul following on an ice climb...
Hey you in a good spot? I need to untie and down climb.
What?
I am untying so I can down climb, the sling fell off the screw.
I need to move up first
Okay I untied.
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jfailing
Trad climber
A trailer park in the Sierras
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Jan 19, 2010 - 01:10pm PT
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"No no no! Put your left foot on that bomber edge! No, over left a little bit more. OK, now your left hand needs to grab that little side-pull, no wait - yeah yeah, there you go! No wait, here, grab that undercling with your right, NO! Yeah! Ok! Dude, that jug up there, it's just out of your reach, you can totally make it. No! Yes! Yes!"
Unwanted beta spray can be annoying as hell...
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xkyczar
Trad climber
denver
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Jan 19, 2010 - 01:28pm PT
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I was at the bottom of the Bastille one day having just finished something. A belayer, whose climber was out of sight, was squirming and in obvious discomfort. As I approached him he pushed the rope into my hands a told me to take the belay. We were unable to get the attention of the climber. I added my belay device he removed his and headed for the parking lot with desperate clenched butt limp. Just as he got to where his climber could see him I heard a scream from above. I tugged gently on the rope a couple times to let him know there was someone on the other end. Can't imagine what the climber was thinking.
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Michael D
Big Wall climber
Sorrento Mesa
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Jan 19, 2010 - 01:37pm PT
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"Oh! Oh! This is my FAVORITE song..." as the belayer, on iPod, did some cool dance moves at the base, and the climber looked at her with a 'WTF?' expression.
True stories from the 'Nam, aka Hidden Valley.
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stevep
Boulder climber
Salt Lake, UT
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Jan 19, 2010 - 01:39pm PT
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These mosquitos are getting really bad. Mind if I tie you off to get some bug spray.
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