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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:02pm PT
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I don't judge people, I'll climb with anyone.
That will be a mistake eventually, er,....uh I mean again....ahem...... Johnny Boy.
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:03pm PT
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Hey, PTC.
I've been half-assedly following this thread cause its kind of funny.
I'm not old, early thirties, but I agree with Survival.
I too, still climb with people I tied in with when I was fourteen.
Maybe a paradigm shift in how you portray yourself and treat your partners is in order.
Lasting partnerships in climbing is a great thing, and I hope you find that.
Here's wishing you all the best in your future endeavors.
Thanks, but there is no shifting the "man will want to have sex with female outdoor partner and if that doesn't happen, he will leave, therefore I will need to look for new partners" paradigm.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:04pm PT
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Without exception Everyone who has ever told me they do not judge people was kidding themselfs and quite often passing judgment at the very moment they uttered those words ;)
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:05pm PT
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Exactly. Like not judging Johnny boy about his education/intelligence.
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:06pm PT
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I'm leaving the sex out of this.
Do you want reliable climbing partners or not?
Stop assuming that everyone wants to f*#k you.
Some may, some may not.
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:09pm PT
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nah, I knew jonny boy was low education, a loony and extremely clingly/needy with significant psychological problems rooting back to childhood just through internet interactions but I don't judge when it came to outdoor partnership. I said sure, lets climb!!!! I also had no idea he was interested in me sexually, we never flirted or talked about sex online, all we talked about was climbing goals/plans. It came a bit of a surprise to me and other people, like Vitaliy.
I've had the most vastly diverse mix of outdoor partners and friends. It just shows how willing I am to accept people and do stuff with people, and that I don't just have a stereotypical group of friends who all sort of fit a uniform category.
When it comes to romantic pursuit, however, there is a lot of judgment happening and pickyness on my part. But we are talking about outdoor partnernship right now, not romantic pursuit.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:09pm PT
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PTC. the guy who does not get sex from you would not leave if you were a worthy outdoor partner. Pull your weight, get the rope up some of the scary sh#t and you will get annother climbing date regardless of weather or not you put out. If you are just a crazy bimbo that dosen't make a significant contribution to the team through hard work and good company then your only real usefullness would be sex. Therefore if you do not provide the sex you have nothing left to offer the team.
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:16pm PT
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Do you want reliable climbing partners or not?
I do.
My last two long term consistent reliable outdoor partners were exactly that-climbed with me because they wanted more with me. So I am not assuming, it just has been my experience to date.
Also, being a woman, its hard to find reliable climbing partners since 1. I prefer to climb with dudes 2. most climbing partners who are reliable and male will be reliable climbing partners to you because they want something more, hence why they are consistently climbing with you, there is pattern in their behavior for a reason: they are being fueled by motivation and the pursuit of something 3. you don't see lots of platonic male/female CONSISTENT/FREQUENT climbing partnernships because dudes and chicks just don't really hang out together. But I think dudes should hang out with me, I'm pretty cool. which brings me to
4. therefore, I need to find sh#t loads of climbers because I will not find the platonic male/female consistent climbing partnernship. If you want consistent climbing partnership between male/female they will need to be involved sexually.
5. I am interested in hot dudes though
lol!
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Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:18pm PT
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Thanks, but there is no shifting the "man will want to have sex with female outdoor partner and if that doesn't happen, he will leave, therefore I will need to look for new partners" paradigm.
You're hanging in the wrong crowd...
This whole sex thing is way over rated.
I've climbed with lots of female partners. In more cases than not it was clear from the start that sex was not in the program. Sometimes yes, but mostly not.
I've done several significant adventure climbs with the wives of dear friends. I've climbed with good partners with whom there was no "chemistry," as you call it, except for the climbing and that comeraderie.
Sh*t, today I got invited to go climbing with an ex girlfriend and her crew. My wife encouraged me to go and I would be there now except I have a cold.
I think that the most important things about your ability to attract good partners have to do with your reputation as a climber and as a good reliable person in the mountains. I count my climbing partners, male or female, as my best and most trusted friends.
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:20pm PT
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PTC. the guy who does not get sex from you would not leave if you were a worthy outdoor partner. Pull your weight, get the rope up some of the scary sh#t and you will get annother climbing date regardless of weather or not you put out. If you are just a crazy bimbo that dosen't make a significant contribution to the team through hard work and good company then your only real usefullness would be sex. Therefore if you do not provide the sex you have nothing left to offer the team.
Dude, you would be surprised. The guys dont get sex, they leave even if I am a worthy outdoor partner because for these guys it is much too frustrating/torturous to do stuff with me and too much of a distraction for them so they go back to their male buddies. I always volunteer to carry the heavier stuff, I prefer it that way because its a better work out, I cook tasty dinners, I DO need to start leading the harder pitches, when jonny boy was here, I organized every single adventure-what to do, logistics, beta.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:23pm PT
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That brings us back to your worthy dude detector.....
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:25pm PT
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Ksolem....of course that is true. I too, have climbed with dudes where the chemistry wasn't there. But these instances do not follow any consistency and reliable partner pattern, they are just scattered instances. Thats why I need to meet and know lots of climbers, to make up for the lack of consistency in platonic male/female climbing partnerships.
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:26pm PT
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You describe me as an "older dude." Well I'm one HOT older dude not interested in your wares.
no problem. Onto the next one lol
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:28pm PT
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worthy dude detector applies to sexual pursuits, not criteria for what makes a good outdoor partner. Although there are some parallels between the two.
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:31pm PT
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I agree there are things I need to improve in regards to being a better climbing partner. I can climb routes and get sh#t done, but I need to be more attentive to who I am climbing with rather than just being a bulldozer. But I am young and willing to learn. The thing is, I won't get better if I have no climbing partners. So my greedy little hands need to get themselves on more climbing partners.
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philo
Trad climber
Somewhere halfway over the rainbow
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:31pm PT
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How unique, a twenty-four year old dispensing existentialism like pez. Probably the best line of the thread.
I don't judge people, I'll climb with anyone. Probably the worst line of the thread.
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:35pm PT
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The thing is, my personality is too strong for most people.
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:40pm PT
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....there is no shifting the "man will want to have sex with female outdoor partner and if that doesn't happen, he will leave, therefore I will need to look for new partners" paradigm.
Strange, I have dozens of climbing partners who are men, whom I have not slept with, whom have never come on to me, even in drunkness. Some of them right here on Supertopo! Here's a list of men, ranging in age fro 26 to 70 who I can email today and set up a day of climbing(of course, circumstances permitting):
 Petar
James
Dwain
Brendon
Brandon
Brandt
DrKodos(yep - drkodos!)
David
Jay
Todd
....That's just a quick think. I have people I met on trips Joshua Tree YEARS ago who still let me know when they are coming again, asking if I will be here in the time frame
And I can say - I am NOT the best at making for friendships. It's something I struggle with pretty much daily. It's like someone throws me the ball...I see them throw it... I watch the ball come my way... It doesn't occur to me that I am supposed to either catch the ball and throw it back, catch it and run with it, or even duck.... The ball hits me in the shoulder or somewhere....
Dude, you would be surprised. The guys dont get sex, they leave even if I am a worthy outdoor partner because for these guys it is much too frustrating/torturous to do stuff with me and too much of a distraction for them so they go back to their male buddies.
It might be because you post titty pictures in threads looking for Hot Dudes, that you seem to be constantly battling this issue...
Honestly - why did you choose to go the route you did(if looking for platonic adventure partners, I mean)? original Post: Rugged and manly with stubble, nice tan and a bit older (like post-30) preferred, given that this is a climbing site, I am expecting a certain degree of hotness circulating around
Why would you EXPECT anything BUT guys thinking "Hmmm, potential p***sy.." You gave zero indication you were looking for people to actually climb with. You gave no indication of the type of objectives you have in mind(climbing ones, that is) nor any idea what your level of experience is.
I used to use climbing forums for partners in climb almost exclusively when I started climbing. Almost all the guys from above list came from that exercise. It never would occur to me to not include:
what I am looking to do
a general idea of my availability
what I can lead
what I can follow
what I desire from potential responders
limitation on what type of people I rope with(for example, I despise belaying someone as they hangdog up routes)
limitations I may have(such as desiring to have my dog along, or when I did not have a vehicle)
Yer full a sh#t. The only persons here who have come to bat for you is someone you treat poorly. A few of the people who apparently DO know you have not even acknowledged that fact on this thread, though they post. Not a one said you were capable or gave any indication as to your abilities.
Here's the thing... When you keep doing the same thing and getting the same response, it might be time to change your tack.
But, by all means, continue to bang your head against the wall.
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part-time communist
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:46pm PT
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the thing I am talking about is consistent partners that go beyond the mere "day at the crag" type of outdoor partnernship.
I would love to meet more people though!
Also, reputation talk can be a bit tricky-for one, people will gossip and spread misleading information about you becuase the truth gets twisted when someone holds a grudge against you and they purposefully leave out the positive stuff. I just don't care much about reputation talk. To write someone off before you even met them is just the worst thing you could do. For all you know, it could be one of the coolest persons you have ever met in your life.
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Part Time Lover
climber
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Dec 18, 2011 - 02:48pm PT
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You have a decent body with perky boobs. But you're kinda ugly. That's why all of the boys ignored you in high school. Because in high school, ALL of the girls have decent bodies and perky boobs. So you were nothing special.
Now, you're out in the real world. And while all those formerly hot high school girls are getting fat, you have maintained your physique. So suddenly you have found yourself receiving more attention than you know what to do with.
That should be a good thing, right?
Except you have a number of extremely apparent unresolved issues swirling around in your head. And the constant positive feedback from the males in your life is only making that worse.
You are a typical mountain town female. You have entered into a world that is 90% male. So, regardless of your looks or personality, you are in extremely high demand. That means, you can do and say whatever you want. You can treat people like sh#t, and never have to deal with the normal ramifications. You will always have an endless stream of guys praising you, giving you gifts, and telling you how awesome you are.
In a normal environment, personality disorders get questioned. Your friends will bring them up. Or you'll lose friends and wonder why. Your boyfriend will leave you, and you'll be forced to reassess yourself.
But the mountaineering community isn't normal. You can get along just fine without real friends. Because of that constantly revolving door, you won't ever think you're lonely. And when your boyfriend dumps you, the five guys waiting on your doorstep will make you say “it must have been HIM”.
Your low self esteem isn't helping.
You're never going to have lasting climbing partners. And it's not because “they all want to get in your pants”. It's because you're a miserable person to be around.
Also, there are countless females you could partner up with to avoid that sexual tension you claim to despise. That just made you cringe, didn't it? The thought of climbing with other girls is appalling to you, since they won't give you that endless positive reinforcement that you're seeking.
Everyone here is over 30. More than half of us are over 50. We've seen it all a million times, honey.
We don't need to (and aren't going to) have sex with you to know that you're a screamer. Sure, I'll bet you are fun in bed. But STD's aren't fun. Fortunately, for you, you'll have no problem finding young guys to f*#k you. Then, one day, you'll turn 35. That's when the REAL problems will start.
I found it quite humorous when you mentioned how your parents paid for your schooling. That wasn't necessary. We already knew, princess.
As for your education, I hope you are lying, but have a feeling you are serious. You hold yourself in VERY high regard, and that's not good.
You chose to pursue a career in therapy because you are at least somewhat aware of your problems.
Your desire to help others stems from your need for help. So, there is hope for you. And I hope that puts you on the right track. If not, you are going to ruin a LOT of lives as a therapist. But you won't care, because you refuse to admit what is blatantly obvious to every single person on this forum, and in your life.
The issues in your head are manifesting themselves as you leave the comfort of your parents wing. And you are looking for ways to release the tension, and avoid dealing with them. Hence your intense dive into mountaineering. At least you are channeling that energy into something good. You are driven. And that can often lead people to do very destructive things.
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