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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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We can make if Coffee.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Thank you Fatty for the apology, but I still don't care for broadsides. Man up and say who you mean.
Edit: hahaha.. Jaybro, I am laughing my ass off here. For spiritual reasons I am giving up coffee, though I still love it. Brother, we will meet some day and what we do wont matter. If you go cragging and it is a place I can reach with my gimpy leg, I will go hang out, or something. Perhaps facelift, though I missed it completely this year. haha.. No worries man. I would like to shake your hand some day as I do admire you.
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zip
Trad climber
pacific beach, ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 9, 2009 - 08:25pm PT
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Uh, sorry, I was just looking for love.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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No Jeff, didn't happen though I wish it would have. I didn't attend this years facelift. Now that is the second time on this thread that someone has said I was some place I wasn't. Maybe I do have a double. A friend of mine sent me a picture of a dude hanging off this climb. It was for a camera add. It looked quite a bit like me. I laughed my rear off because I was never a good enough climber to pull off what was in the picture.
Zip, sorry again for the hijack of your thread. You ask important questions, though we can't possibly know why you haven't found someone unless you reveal more about yourself. A whole lot more. Did you spend a lot of time just playing the field? Why.. What have you been doing for the last 30 or so years. What do you think of women? Those sorts of questions. And a lot more. It is a very difficult subject and one must go deeply within to find answers.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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And Zip, if you really want to know why you haven't been able to find that someone special, I would highly recommend you find a therapist who specializes in that subject. Don't go to someone who will guarantee that you will find someone, that would be impossible and a good sign this person is full of themselves. Just find someone is trained and who you relate to, that can help you figure this out. You seem to have the money, so why not give it a go. Therapist can be really helpful in these kinds of areas. It isn't just about some rules, it is about the hidden messages that a person gives off, that one can't really see those without digging in deep.
Edit: Jeff, Not in it. Didn't attend. haha.. Maybe I do have a double. whoa.. hope he is nice and climbs hard.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Moosie, how about water? Ya gotta drink water, right? Disclaimer, I don't trust Fern Spring.
I wonder if Jeffe meant the year before?
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rotten johnny
Social climber
mammoth lakes, ca
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treat her like you would like to be treated....how do you like to be treated....best of luck...
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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hahaha, Yes, I drink water. We have some of the best water in the world here in Wawona. It is about the only thing that I drink.
I was at the 2008 event, but didn't meet you. I didn't go to the closing. Big parties aren't my thing. I like small groups outdoors. You are cracking me up Jaybro. Don't worry about me brother. I am doing better then I have ever done in this lifetime. I was really pissed for a number of years about not being able to go out and do the things I love, and the taco really helped me cope, but my life is changing and getting better and I am finding a deeper satisfaction.
I have some insights about why Lois charges me up so much, but don't think this is a good place to share them. Some of it is altruistic in that I see her false ego, and some of it is my own crap. I don't think I should go deeper then that without permission, so I will stop here. ( plus this thread is suppose to be about getting Zip a woman. oops. dont take this wrong zip, I am smiling at you brother. )
Werner will find this interesting as he and I went round and round a bit on the false ego. My teachers have recently come out with the terminology of false ego and divine ego to help people recognize that there is a difference. We are so attached to the use of the word ego to signify our identity, that people just can't let it go, so they adapted the older terminology of divine ego and false ego. I got a laugh out of that one. A number of years ago I learned a good lesson about not being hung up on terminology and instead go after the meaning. People have so many unconscious judgements against certain words, like God. So I learned not to be attached to a word. It is only a descriptive tool and it is the meaning and intent that is more important.
This ties into how people can say something that looks nice, but means something mean spirited. You have to look at the intent and read the meaning from that.
Anyways. Thanks for the chat and the invite. I am certain that we will meet some day. Are you really living up north now? Are you working as a teacher still?
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reddirt
climber
Elevation 285 ft
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I can't be the only one who senses an air of histrionic self righteousness w/ the LEB logorrhea?
edit to add: in a strangely antiseptic sort of way??
she refers to healthcare & "her" patients like that kid refers to band camp in that movie American Pie. But not in a funny way.
if there's anything that's good about being w/ a single parent it's that most of them know life's not perfect... a total asset in my book.
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reddirt
climber
Elevation 285 ft
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Well after 4 years or so of putting up with this crowd
(I'm totally gonna regret posting this)
Why?
(you really don't have to answer that but if you do, try to keep it under 20 words)
or better yet, stop putting up w/ "this crowd".
(sending good vibes to locker)
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LuckyPink
climber
the last bivy
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this is a crazy thread.. I see it's all over the place.. so here's my $0.02, being a single mother these many years..
DON'T BE A PUSSY if you date SM's, she has NO DESIRE to coddle you.. Man UP and save the whiny needy stuff for yo mamma
ok.. that's all I have to say about it..have fun everybody
nice to see you here LEB
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Omot
Trad climber
The here and now
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Kinda hard to read through this thread with all the side bickering, but many good comments. A couple of points for zip:
Single parents are people too, as you know. We are not used cars, even metaphorically speaking. LOL, reading how LEB tried to defend herself over that one!
I disagree about the comment some have made about not being the kids Dad. Obviously, this is true early in the relationship, but if you end up in a committed partnership with this woman, you will need to be an authority figure to her children. That's called a stepfather, and it involves great responsibility. Understand how serious this is and how it will change your life (hopefully for the better, but that will depend in many ways on the mother).
In my small town, we have a saying: "it takes a village..." and we parent as such. I allow other parents to call my child for their misbehavior and I do the same with their kids. Of course, we all know each other fairly well, and tend to hang with the other parents whose approach to parenting is similar to ours. If I were to get in a new relationship, I would certainly favor a mother, just for her understanding of how to deal with kids. Coming into a new relationship with kids with no experience with parenting yourself would be difficult, but if your heart is in the right place, it will al work out.
Good luck,
Tomo
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Nov 10, 2009 - 01:03am PT
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Interesting....As a former single mother, let me point out that there MIGHT be a few advantages. Sometimes single moms are looking for fun and a diversion, not to trap a man. A mom with joint custody of kids is looking to fill every other weekend with fun sans kids. What is so scarey about applying for that position? Single moms may actually be quite capable to providing for themselves and their children.
The big don't - don't be another kid she has to take care of.
I was quite concerned about how shallow the dating pool would be when I was a single mom. Funny - the pool was quite deep with quality guys. Want ad - climbing partner, possible benefits, two weekends per month. At 51, you aren't going to find many woman who don't have a past man or kids in your dating pool.
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Karen
Trad climber
So Cal urban sprawl Hell
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Nov 10, 2009 - 01:09am PT
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When is a Mom no longer a single Mom? I have two kids, well...one is 27 and the other 22, Hell, they still seem like kids to me, even though they are both professionals.
They still come first. However, I am not so absorbed into them that I have put my life on hold, I did that all the years that was needed. It is now my time to live!
To the comment on being a "used car", well, we are all "used" by this point in life. If used is meant having baggage, no one gets away baggage free, some just have a little less than others.
I do have a question though, what is up with you guys who never marry? or never really have any true long term relationship/s? I have my theories, after all I am a therapist...he he.... but I shall retain my thoughts/judgements for now. I would just like to hear others on the above.
As far as dating single Mothers, it is complex, since you have to factor in things like the ages of the kids, how many kids, how long since the divorce, the involvement of the bio-father, any loyalty issues that could arise, any triangulation the single Mom might try to pull you into, I could go, on and on, since like I mentioned above, I am a Marriage and Family Therapist!!!!
But, hey, the bottom line is, if the single parent is decent, has integrity, you get along, respect each other and have other kindred interests, go for it, just be aware, there will be complexities, but, it could very well be worth it, so never judge it until you know..
oh, but lastly, always, and I mean always, keep in mind the innocence of the children and whats in their best interest. They didn't ask to be in the various situations parents put them in, so respect those little ones!
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Nov 10, 2009 - 01:48am PT
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Hey Karen.
I have not married and I am 50 year old. I have had two relationships that lasted over 4 years each. Does that count as long term? haha..
My reasons for not getting married have to do with long term depression and physical health problems. It is hard to attract the kind of woman that I like, and keep her interested when I spend so much time in deep depression. Plus I have had a series of serious physical health problems. So it is difficult to keep up with the type of woman I am attracted to.
The women I am attracted to are strong and driven and haven't wanted to accept staying with someone with my problems. I fully understand. I like hardcore women who like to get out there and live big. I just can't keep up. Perhaps I should settle, but those women usually bore me. ( of course, when my depression is raging, I bore myself.. heh heh. )
My last girlfriend is now living in Nairobi, Kenya. She works with homeless kids in the slums of Kibera which is one of the largest slums in the world. When I dated her she was living in Berkley working for Big Brothers and Big Sisters, plus counseling rape victims. She and I have been friends for 20 years. She is an amazing woman with a prodigious amount of energy and passion. She just goes for life. She wanted to learn to paraglide, so she met this guy who said he was an instructor, he gave her one hour of instruction and with that she jumped off a 500 foot cliff above the beach. She landed it, but I had to explain that that wasn't the best way to learn as there was a lot that could go wrong. She figures she survived and is happy. Every time I talk to her she has been off on another adventure. Leading classes in non violent communication with Israeli and Palistinian kids. Leading conferences on non violence at places like Caux conference center in switzerland, going on safari, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro ( I know that there is a walk up on this, but she is not a climber and it still takes a spirit of adventure to do it ) and on and on the list goes.
So as you can see, I can attract them, I just cant keep them. Though many are still my friends.
Things are changing as I learn more about depression from a spiritual standpoint. I myself am not worried about meeting a great women. I meet them all the time. When I am ready, she will be there and it will be great.
I don't know what keeps others back. This is just my story.
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pc
climber
East of Seattle
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Nov 10, 2009 - 10:08am PT
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What Are The Rules For Dating Single Mothers? - OT
#1. Don't post about it on the Taco.
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Beatrix Kiddo
Mountain climber
Littleton
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Nov 10, 2009 - 10:40am PT
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I'm a strong, independent, self sufficient, intelligent, active and FUN single mother. I'd like to see some of you walk 1 day in my shoes or in the shoes of other single parents that I know. I've been extremely successful raising my sons properly while also balancing a career, friends and a pretty extensive climbing habit. When I'm fortunate enough to be in a relationship, remarkably I do have the time, devotion and energy for it. For those of you who judge us so harshly, screw you.
Treat her with respect and decency just like you would anyone else. We're not that different from other women. Many of us are strong. All of us deserve love just like anyone else. Some are total basket cases. The same can be said for non-parents.
This thread is not about me but I'm going to speak up against some of you people's lame ass stereotypes. Maybe more of you single parents should stand up and toot your own horns too. That horn comment has nothing to do with used cars. LEB, I get what you are saying and agree with you on many points but what a poor choice of words.
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Captain...or Skully
Social climber
Oh, you know.....Here & there
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Nov 10, 2009 - 10:46am PT
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#2- get a better pulley.
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Dr.Sprock
Boulder climber
Sprocketville
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Nov 10, 2009 - 12:05pm PT
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#3- No fisting on the first date...
i'm jus sayin...
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C. Small wall climber.
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Nov 10, 2009 - 08:42pm PT
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Moosie at the FaceLift in 2008, with EKat.
At Yellow Pine.
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