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okaythatsme
climber
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Apr 11, 2011 - 02:43pm PT
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Hi Paul,
So many thoughts go through me -- past, present and the unknown -- which one really can't fully understand. Over twenty years we've influenced each other in our growing up, even as we developed our own paths. I hope I can visit you and Ruth, if that would be okay. I would understand otherwise. Hope you can e-mail or we can talk.
with love,
marcella
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Gene
climber
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Apr 12, 2011 - 06:58pm PT
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Thinking about you and yours, Paul.
Godspeed!
g
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couchmaster
climber
pdx
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Apr 12, 2011 - 07:31pm PT
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Sounds like it's getting close to checkout time Paul. I'd like to thank you for sharing your heart, pain, joy, and struggles so honestly on this thread which is one more testament to your life. None of us gets out out here alive: here's to hoping you a smooth and easy transition to where we all are heading anyway .....sooner or later.
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Apr 12, 2011 - 09:14pm PT
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I hope you're pain free Paul.
Best.
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Pastor Dave
Social climber
Yucca Valley, CA
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Apr 13, 2011 - 11:46am PT
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To all of Paul's friends: We are winding up a too brief but very good visit with Paul and Ruth. Keep your love, thoughts and prayers flowing there may yet be a lot of days left for this Master of Disaster but what each day, hour or minuite will bring is unkown until it arrives and has to be Mastered. Will be checking in here as often as I can.
To Paul and Ruth: I am as near as the phone and can be back "in a flash" if/when you need me.
Love you both beyound words
Dad
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Apr 13, 2011 - 02:43pm PT
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I never stop thinking about you Paul, got my cuppa brewing. Susan
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Iclimb5.1
climber
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Apr 13, 2011 - 07:51pm PT
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Pastor Dave, THANK YOU for the update. I hope you will keep them coming as any information you can give is extremely valuable!
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Gal
Trad climber
a semi lucid consciousness
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Apr 13, 2011 - 08:25pm PT
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You are always in my thoughts. I look forward to your posts. Keep fighting, writing, and hoping! I hope your pain is less this week.
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jstan
climber
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Apr 13, 2011 - 08:38pm PT
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After reading your thread I went to Yeary's wonderful "short video."
It said to me
Earth is the beginning
earth is the end
the two are the same
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drunkenmaster
Social climber
santa rosa
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Apr 13, 2011 - 11:48pm PT
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looking forward to seeing your slideshow and hanging out with you next month at the RIM Club bro! anyone else come on out - Rock Ice Mountain Club - first tuesday of the month at round table pizza on occidental rd in santa rosa. every month they have an awesome slideshow and raffel and local climbers meeting. give me a shout out if you want to hang out sometime or need anything anytime..
:)
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Disaster Master
Social climber
Born in So-Cal, left my soul in far Nor-Cal.
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 14, 2011 - 10:06am PT
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Hi all.
Good, though odd, visit with family over the past few days. Conversation shifted between my sister's kids and diapers to cremation annd hospice. Good times...good times.
Pain is a little less thanks to a strong antibiotic and a new attitude towards painkillers. Pretty much still in pain all the time. Not easy to listen to or watch when you are use to my warp speed normally.
A small hope: My Oncologist found a surgeon that will consult with me about the possibility of resecting (cutting out) some or all of the main tumor. Don't know, though. It's huge and extensive now. F*#K!
Radiation consult is on Friday. All these are comfort measures in my head, not cures. But I must crap and piss to live at all, and the big tumor is screwing that up. A lot.
End of life optons have been brought up and everyone is concerned with how long this will take, how much pain. There are no good legal safe alteratives to wasting to death, in CA, it seems. Travel out of state seems daunting, since accross the house is an expedition now.
It reminds me of when I had my first Melanoma removal surgery 7 years go. I got up to take a walk with friend a few weeks after. Only wanted to get groceries 5 blocks away. Long 5 blocks! I made it a joke.."Day 1. Crossed the dangerous blacktop glacier today, conditions marginal. Will make base camp at the next corner. Day 2. An alpine start with assistence from local homeless recruited as sherpas allowed placement of a high camp near the drug store. Have run out of fixed line. Must go for it tomorrow or turn back..." You get the picture.
I will do the slide show in Santa Rosa even if in a wheel chair. Only the hospital will keep me from that. I will go out celebrating my life, not regreting the future I might not see.
Very hard to come to terms with all this. Don't want to have to. Falling!
Thanks for the spot everyone,
Paul
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JOEY.F
Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
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Apr 14, 2011 - 11:53am PT
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Pulling for you Paul. Your epic to the store is so well written. Thanks for the laugh. Let me know if you need a hand for your show.
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Disaster Master
Social climber
Born in So-Cal, left my soul in far Nor-Cal.
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 14, 2011 - 11:56am PT
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Here's a couple new scans. All that glows except my brain is Melanoma. Hard to see, but it's a 3D imgage through my body.
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Jobee
Social climber
El Portal Ca.
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Apr 14, 2011 - 12:57pm PT
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nature
climber
Kovalum Kerala India
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Apr 14, 2011 - 01:15pm PT
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It's hard to really know what to say.
A lack of response isn't a lack of paying attention.
Tina says she sends her love. I do too!
stay strong my friend (like I need to offer that up!)
nature
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crøtch
climber
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Apr 14, 2011 - 01:16pm PT
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Paul,
You continue to inspire with your words and attitude.
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Carolyn C
Trad climber
the long, long trailer
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Apr 14, 2011 - 02:57pm PT
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Your love of life and Ruth inspire me every time I read your words. Thank you for continuing to share your journey. I wish you were not falling!
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Apr 14, 2011 - 06:50pm PT
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Hi Paul...your scan indicates how huge that groin tumor is! Oh Paul you are the toughest dude I have ever encountered. Hoping you can have some surgery that will provide some relief. You are in my thoughts...al the time. Susan
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Tony Bird
climber
Northridge, CA
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Apr 14, 2011 - 08:52pm PT
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cheers here too, paul. if you come to josh, would like to visit again.
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Jan
Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
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Apr 15, 2011 - 12:13am PT
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I'll be waiting to hear the results of the radiation consult with fingers crossed that it can provide some relief.
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