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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Apr 18, 2008 - 03:18pm PT
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Ahh, that is such good news! One time she and I climbed Sons Of Yesteryear together. I led my share of the pitches including something .10 if I recall. She led the crux pitch, and walked up it. I came just a hair from coming off and she was cheering me "You're cruising it Bruce!"
She was quite the hard woman. I imagine she's still climbing?
Thanks Anastasia,
Bruce
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jstan
climber
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Apr 18, 2008 - 03:41pm PT
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L's story reformatted so it stays on screen.
OK, another Croft story from when he was guiding for Vertical Adventures.
There were 5 of us in his class this time—3 women and 2 guys. I don’t
remember much about anyone else except one of the women—she was
big, I mean big in a husky way, like muscular, and big in a butt way, too, I
guess. I can’t remember if her name was Bertha or not, but she looked like
a Bertha, so that’s what we’ll call her. Big Bertha.
She had a big voice, too. Raspy and deep like you’d expect from a big
woman, or a truck driver, with a laugh somewhere between Rosie
O’Donnell and Joan Rivers. She talked loudly and laughed loudly as we
trailed to the crags, flushing jackrabbits and quail and no doubt
rattlesnakes, too, from 50 yards away.
Well, Bertha had a little climbing experience, which made her bold. Way
bolder than any of the rest of us. So when Peter would string up a top rope
on a crack for us, Bertha would be one of the first to jump right on. She
was gutsy, all right. And aggro, too. Trouble was, she didn’t really have
crack technique down. She was strong as an ox, but sometimes, as in the
case of a slick-walled crack, strength might get you off the ground; only
technique will get you to the top.
So there we were, at the White Cliffs of Dover on Popular Mechanics. It’s a
beautiful crack, and when Peter soloed up it to show us how we were
going to climb it, he did it beautifully. With the grace and ease of years of
climbing and miles upon miles of routes under his chalkbag’s belt. He put
the top rope through the anchors and climbed back down to us.
And there stood Bertha, hands taped like a fighter's and ready to rumble.
Well, the Big B got about a foot off the ground and could go no further. She
wasn’t strong enough to dig grooves in the rock, and what little technique
she tried to employ was counteracted by her...let's call it ballast. So she
resorted to Plan B: Cursing like a salty sailor. I mean, what came out of
her mouth would’ve made Sam Kennison proud.
We were all watching in a mute fascination bordering on the comical as
Bertha floundered and fought and screamed four-letter words at an
impassive, unperturbed crack in an unresponsive, unconcerned rock. All of
us except Peter. His color was a bit on the rosy side, and the frozen grin
on his face was more that of startled embarrassment rather than any form
of entertainment.
“Bertha!” he whispered loudly, trying not to laugh. “You might want to
watch your voice. There could be kids around here.”
There were no kids within 10 miles of us, as we all knew. Poor Peter. He’d
never encountered a female like Big Bertha before, and his ears, not to
mention his sensibilities, were getting scourged by an expert.
Bertha stayed pretty true to form for the entire day, and so did Peter. She
would pummel up a crack, riding on a string of x-rated nouns and
adjectives, and Peter would blush, grin self-consciously, and look
anywhere but at one of us. Eventually she would make it up whatever climb
she could beat into submission, and Peter would visibly relax while the
rest of us scrambled up the thing in an almost deafening silence. Then he'd
find another crack for us and the whole shebang would begin again.
I found it strangely endearing that this world-class climber was
embarrassed by profanity—he was certainly the exception in his sport. In
fact, in the many times I climbed with Peter, or shared a meal with him
and friends in a restaurant, I never heard Peter use a profane word. Not
once.
Not once, that is, until one night in Crossroads…after 2 glasses of wine…and no dessert…I distinctly remember him forlornly uttering the words, “Goddammit, I really wanted a piece of blueberry pie.”
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Brunosafari
Boulder climber
Redmond, OR
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Apr 18, 2008 - 04:15pm PT
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Thanks Jstan! The horizontal scrolling was flaring up the tendonitus! Great story L--I love the Clark Kent stories of Supermen, even Astromen. B
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martygarrison
Trad climber
Modesto
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 18, 2008 - 04:18pm PT
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since I started this thread I guess will come clean. I not only could never climb like Peter, but also have been known to curse like a sailor! Geeze I am getting the feeling that Mr Croft was sent to us from the heavens.
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drljefe
climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
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Feb 25, 2009 - 03:01pm PT
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*BUMP*
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matisse
climber
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Feb 25, 2009 - 04:33pm PT
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I always felt sorry for "Bertha" in the above story.
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Great dogs hang out with great people...
I love that story and knowing how much most dogs hate baths... I bet that puppy wished Croft stuck around too.
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ninjah
Big Wall climber
a van down by the river
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I just saw peter and karine and peewee in the gorge on tuesday, yes , he is the man I aspire to be more like! a god among us!
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karodrinker
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Sep 23, 2012 - 10:07pm PT
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I love climbing bump.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Sep 23, 2012 - 10:25pm PT
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Well you certainly picked a climber who elicits nothing but admiration!
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Sonic
Trad climber
Boulder, CO
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Sep 23, 2012 - 10:32pm PT
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need more threads like this!
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karodrinker
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Sep 23, 2012 - 10:52pm PT
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Jim you fit that description as well.
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Michelle
Trad climber
the f*#king peninsula.
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Sep 23, 2012 - 11:46pm PT
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When I first started climbing, I had an the Moving Over Stone video. Croft's interview influenced me, especially in regard to soloing.
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Guangzhou
Trad climber
Asia, Indonesia, East Java
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Sep 24, 2012 - 01:51am PT
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Maybe we should start on about Jim. Plenty of us have met him along the way.
Eman
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
bouldering
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Sep 24, 2012 - 02:25am PT
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When I first started climbing, I had an the Moving Over Stone video. Croft's interview influenced me, especially in regard to soloing. Way harder solos have gone down over the years, but Astroman at that time eclipses all of them (in my book).
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Fletcher
Trad climber
Fumbling towards stone
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Sep 24, 2012 - 02:35am PT
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A great read even the second time through!
eric
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roadman
climber
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Sep 24, 2012 - 02:45am PT
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My only impression was that he had stout legs.
Don't mean to burst your bubble, but......THat's Canadian average! They all have sick legs from hiking up the worlds steepest approaches.
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adikted
Boulder climber
Tahooooeeeee
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Sep 24, 2012 - 03:32am PT
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If this thread is bumped enough times we might even get Croft to post........BUMP
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Lennox
climber
just southwest of the center of the universe
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Sep 24, 2012 - 03:47am PT
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I've heard he lurks.
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snakefoot
climber
cali
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Sep 24, 2012 - 11:49am PT
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was climbing bear creek spire north arete a while back (in the early 90's) and belaying two friends near the top where the ridge seems endless. up comes this guy, sans rope of course, said he wasn't feeling that well, but came out to do some climbing. rest of the day was uneventful, but glad to have had a brief chat with him at such a location. have always been inspired by his style and character. Keep on crankin.
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