Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
Standing Strong
Trad climber
go gadget go
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 05:33pm PT
|
"It is not a waste of time if you learned something from the relationship or from the experience"
that's true. but still when it's all over it's like, sh*t, how can he not even be like wondering how i'm doing or anything... we were so close, what happened to that friendship? whatever.
all i really need is to be outside...
i need the mountains like a needle needs a vein.
|
|
Standing Strong
Trad climber
go gadget go
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 05:39pm PT
|
""The statement post you made is also an excellent example of why women should not be hopping in the sack with some dude unless they are certain there is a reasonably strong degree of reciprocal attachment."
i did not do that. it is awfully presumptuous of you to assume so.
|
|
atchafalaya
climber
California
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 05:47pm PT
|
Look, we already know what they want. The hard part is giving it to them. Sheesh
|
|
Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 05:54pm PT
|
weschrist,
you may be more comfortable in the larry craig bathroom thread!
|
|
Jaybro
Social climber
The West
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 05:58pm PT
|
"Ex-girlfriends don't count in this paradigm - if you are ex-partners and still friends then you are in an equilibrium and both partners are happy with the status quo."
Then I am, almost entirely, doomed. Why did I insist on sincerity? Takes your own sister to push it in your face.
Is equilibirum bad? Is it blashphemous to compare notes, later?
-Rev Wirtz™ style edit; I knew I should have been more macho about the the "best friends" thing, earlier.
|
|
zip
Trad climber
pacific beach, ca
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 25, 2007 - 06:29pm PT
|
I am back.
I an sorry that i did not respond earlier.
I live in San Diego, and we are on fire right now.
I have not been working on my computer.
It appears as though we have some very thought provoking responses and different opinions.
Intellectual stimulation is a good thing.
And to think that i only started this thread to get Crimpie to take me climbing!
Hey C, did you really dream about me?
Zip
|
|
Jaybro
Social climber
The West
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 06:36pm PT
|
That was obfuscationist, sis.
What if;
you both, all, still have problems, don't look for all the answers in each other(s), but still occasionally share notes and laughs?
is that:
1) something that makes you bad people?
b) an easy-to-relate-to-about, sort of friendship?
or, another way to look at it, given that you only go around once (yeah, yeah I know, Russ was rasputin, matt was hitler, most of us were sponges) is there a good enough reason to sleep with someone whith whom you can't imagine a heartfelt, bonecrushing hug, decades later, no matter how ugly the initial breakup?
|
|
Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 06:55pm PT
|
LEB, i agree, that could kick it over into the 70/30 area...
|
|
Jaybro
Social climber
The West
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 07:01pm PT
|
cogitating...
|
|
Ed Bannister
Mountain climber
Riverside, CA
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 07:20pm PT
|
well,
there are two very different sets of answers.
Women theorize about wanting 50- 50 relationships...
not reality, they want to hear "yes dear."
when was the last time you heard a married woman ask, dear, can we sit down and go through all the variables and possible outcomes in order to figure out what is best to do?
no way. n e v e r h a p p e n s !!
but what attracts them?
bad boys, power, influence, money, and oh yah, chocolate....
and, there are a rare and precious few, who value and are attracted to integrity, kindness, and a bit of humor.
|
|
paganmonkeyboy
Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 07:27pm PT
|
"and, there are a rare and precious few, who value and are attracted to integrity, kindness, and a bit of humor."
bing bing bing yes !!!!!!!!
and they are Always Worth Waiting For, imho...and holding on to, if you can...
and luckypink - i don't watch espn ;-) just cartoons...i'm holding out for a woman that is as crazy as i am (tall order, as i'm a loon sometimes...), hopefully with better moves and/or more gear too...first aid training a plus...
|
|
John Moosie
climber
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 07:37pm PT
|
Weschrist wrote on a thread about what WOMEN want.
"This is the nicest thread about me ever."
I thought you were a dude. Glad we got that cleared up. You just have problems with PMS. There are all kinds of things you can do about that. Try stopping eating sugar. Thats suppose to help.
Good luck with the PMS you sweet thing you.
|
|
LuckyPink
climber
the last bivy
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 07:42pm PT
|
PaganM I know , i didn't mean you personally watch ESPN, actually I watch ESPN because I like auto racing on TV as well as at the track. sorry didn't mean to offend. Just referring to "you" as a man in general.
I just love all this speculation about what we want, what we say we want, what we go for in reality, how close to target we get or how far off, myself included. I think the psyche's stories that guide our actions in this department are fascinating.
LP
ps paganm, you are right , "they are always worth waiting for"
PS again, actually I'm great buds with my ex husband but LEB is making me think about some things.. more on that later.
|
|
paganmonkeyboy
Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 07:54pm PT
|
a woman that watches racing ? tell me more... ;-)
it's funny - a month ago i wrote up a personal and actually tried to figure out what i want, for the first time in 40 years i figured maybe thinking it through instead of just shooting from the hip as it were might be a smarter thing to do...and i think, at it's simplest, maybe what we all want is the same thing - someone that treats us the way we want to be treated and makes us feel the way we want to feel...it's in the details that we oscillate wildly on...
and we're all crazy. it's because we are human ;-)
edit : now isn't this more fun than those political threads ?
|
|
Gary
climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 08:01pm PT
|
Karl: LEB, I have women friends who are just friends and still can be cuddly and such. There are plenty of reasons not to go sexual with relationships.
Well, Karl, unfortunately, you're just a 'cuddle bitch'. You don't want to try to go sexual with the relationship because on an instinctive level you realize that you can't jump ladders and will be kicked into the abyss.
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
|
|
paganmonkeyboy
Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 08:13pm PT
|
my gods that ladder theory is...interesting to say the least...
and where's Jane, dammit ?
-t
|
|
atchafalaya
climber
California
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 08:28pm PT
|
thanks for posting the ladder theory. I always wondered how that worked.
|
|
LuckyPink
climber
the last bivy
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 08:33pm PT
|
lol I LMAO re the Ladder theory , it's just too true..
seriously though I think the issue is Dignity. relationship without mutual respect for each other's deepest dignity will fail miserably and painfully. And true love is to cherish the other person's dignity as much as your own. Throw some hot rockin' sex in there and wow! just my 0.02
(yeah i get a jolt out of racing, my new netflix just got here.. Dust to Glory (the Baja 1000). Can't get anyone to watch it with me though. I have a little wrx track car too but I was literally in grief this last week because I got a stress fracture in a rear coil over, and had to put the stock suspension back on it for a bit until I can afford an upgrade. So sad. )
|
|
HighGravity
climber
Southern Cali
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 08:38pm PT
|
Ok, I had to speak up, even though yes my IQ is dropping the more I read.
I'd love a woman who could be my ropegun! I've seen those guys at crags who put their girlfriend down, so she doesn't climb at a higher level.....bastards!
The simplest thing to remember is men are stupid and women are crazy. Before the hate mail starts flying let me explain my statement.
Men are stupid for dating crazy women and women are crazy for dating stupid men. If women keep it simple and say what they want and explain the problem in basic terms most men could figure it all out. And if we men could just get it through our heads that "fine" usually isn't fine and pay attention women would love us even more. My whole problem is finding someone to put up with the small climbing/ outdoor habit I have.
DestintobesingleandokwithitHighGravity.
EDIT: LMFAO at The Ladder Theory
|
|
Standing Strong
Trad climber
go gadget go
|
|
|
Oct 25, 2007 - 09:55pm PT
|
"relationship without mutual respect for each other's deepest dignity will fail miserably and painfully."
tru that. lack of respect sucks... like when things end and somebody does things you discussed doing together, but with someone else, and then announces it and plasters the photos on a public message board you both peruse. that's plain mean.
|
|
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!