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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
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Mimi- we're stealing your idea for Sweet Lowe Down insulated sleeping bags. But we've improved on the idea. Our down is sugar-frosted - you can eat the contents of your bag after the bivouac. Tastes a lot like cornflakes. Clever thinking, eh?
-SugarFrostedJello
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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For Jello a windbreaker is a musical instrument that looks nothing like a jacket.
The very thought of consuming Jello-aerated sugar frosted goose feathers brings to mind the words; Geneva Convention.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Toldja he got feisty about his lizards, LOL!
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Dirt, look up feisty in the dictionary and Junior will be staring back at you saying, "You talkin' ta me?"
But this is OT.
We're supposed to be determining if the lowest of the Lowes is but a poseur who has merely photoshopped his way into the history of alpinism.
I for one am on Jeff's side.
It was the photo autographed by the yeti that won me over.
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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
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Funny you mentioned windbreaker, Ron-O. We've just this moment introduced a new Full-Body Windbreaker Suit to our Sweet Lowe Down line. The suit is not actually insulated when you first buy it. It's constructed of extremely lightweight but air-tight fabric and fits into a softball-size stuff sack, that fits nicely in a corner of your rucksack. At night, the climber removes all his or her clothing and dons the Suit, before crawling into their Sweet Lowe Down sugar-frosted sleeping bag. In the morning, shortly after beginning to munch on the contents of the sleeping bag, the climber will begin to have a not-unpleasant feeling that he or she is about to become flatulent. Very shortly that feeling will become a tingly anal reality as the feathers that were recently ingested begin shooting out the bum, stripped bare of their sugar-coating, and fluffed into prime lofty condition by the warm breeze of methane in which they are suspended. Within minutes of consuming the entire contents of the sleeping bag, the Full-Body Windbreaker Suit is fully inflated with an exceptionally efficient combination of feathers and methane gas, and the climber is good to go in the highest and coldest conditions. No smoking, though. We lost cousin Mel that way in a tragic product-testing explosion.
Not to worry, you folks keep on birthing new Lowe's on this thread at a rate faster than I'll ever be able to kill them off in tragic accidents while testing brilliant but fatally flawed designs.
.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jeff,
the Geneva Convention specifically prohibits the use of the full body windbreaker without an attending physician.
The Senate subcommittee on cruel and unusual sportswear is currently investigating an unaccounted for shipment of Lowe Suits to Getmo.
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Mimi
climber
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LOL! I'm honored that you liked the name.
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Gene
climber
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When did Cousin Mel bLowe up?
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Melvin too?
Oh the huge manatee!
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Aya
Uncategorizable climber
New York
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 8, 2006 - 08:07pm PT
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Thank goodness Jello is taking a page out of cousin Mel's book and taking this all so well!
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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
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To answer Aya's OP: I was, once.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Touchstone awaits.
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Brian in SLC
Social climber
Salt Lake City, UT
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Now Brian in SLC ought to know that green jello with carrot shavings and mini-marshmallows is only appropriate for missionary homecomings. For ward openings, it's red jello with diced walnuts and a Cool Whip topping.
Source: The Jello Matrix in "No One Knows My Pastry"
Ahh...that must be the original source material for, "Under the Banner of Jello".
Seems like I saw a recipe for red jello and mincemeat called "Mountain Meadows Jello".
How Lowe can you go?
-Brian in SLC
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Hey,
Alpinist and Brit brawny-brawly tuff guy Stevie Haston, a relation to the late great Dougal Haston, gave a slide show here in Boulderville; there was awsome footage of Stevie pumping super burly campus moves on picks out a long horizontal roof.
Stevie adamantly stated that Jello, even though widely recognized in his era, deserved even now much credit for advancements in the modern American ice climbing movement, moreso perhaps than is currently recognized and appreciated.
(this is no blowe job! hahaha)
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Brian in SLC
Social climber
Salt Lake City, UT
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Yep, that's been unfortunately kept on the down Lowe...
-Brian in SLC
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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
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To one and all: Your kind, crass and ceaseless abuse of the good name(s) of myself and my ever-expanding (exploding?) family has raised my spirits to new heights. I don't need to climb anymore, I can just float over to any peak or crag that suits my fancy, and park awhile there. I hear the Beatles:
"...I say goodbye,
and you say Jello...
Jello, Jello...
don't know why I say goodbye,
when you say Jello...
Jellooooo-oh."
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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What about your late cousin Warren?
He put up that controversial bolt route; Lowe & Beholed
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Mimi
climber
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And for Southern swamp dwellers, the TupeLowe, named after the native Tupelo gum tree; a mosquito proof warm weather bag in the Sweet Lowe Down line. Here's the ad song (sorry if anyone's annoyed by Van).
Tupelo Honey, Van Morrison
You can take all the tea in china
Put it in a big brown bag for me
Sail right around the seven oceans
Drop it straight into the deep blue sea
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Shes an angel of the first degree
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Just like honey from the bee
You cant stop us on the road to freedom
You cant keep us cause our eyes can see
Men with insight, men in granite
Knights in armor bent on chivalry
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Shes an angel of the first degree
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Just like honey from the bee
Ill tell a tale of old manhattan
Adirondack bus to go
Standing waiting on my number
And my numbers gonna show.
Shes an angel of the first degree
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Just like honey from the bee
You know shes alright
You know shes alright with me
Shes alright, shes alright (shes an angel)
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Gene
climber
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Jeff,
My favorite Beatle album is...
Sgt. Pepper's Lowenly Hearts Club Band
Which one are you on the cover?
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jello is on that cover.
Can anyone spot him?
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