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moacman
Trad climber
Montana
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Aug 27, 2012 - 09:18pm PT
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Vapor Lock...When a climber gets gripped and won't climb up or down and usually starts to whimper.......
Stevo
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Aug 27, 2012 - 09:32pm PT
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Bailmaster - one who specializes in Bailing. Frequently found in El Cap Meadows gazing longingly upwards, a Bailmaster can provide you with every excuse you might ever need for failing to climb a big wall. The creativity of a Bailmaster is unparalled, except perhaps by that of a BWT
Balls - gonads [ovaries] - possession of same allows you to face down your fears. Fundamental equipment when climbing big walls
Beauty - Hoser for Bitchin'
Big Wall Anything - an Anything with a clip-in loop added [e.g. big wall wine bottle, big wall microwave oven]
Bitchin' - swell, excellent, of the highest quality
Buddy - Generic Canuck for "that dude" [e.g. "Check out Buddy over there on the wall..."]
BWG - Big Wall Gumby, a climber whose Wank Factor frequently spirals out of control, yet who somehow, some way, has managed by fair means to reach the summit of at least one big wall. Dr. Piton's current status as a big wall climber
BWT - Big Wall Theorist - a climber with little aid or big wall climbing experience who purports to know much. BWT's are frequently found at the base of walls or in parking lots where they can be heard blaming their partner for their latest wall climbing failure while refusing to acknowledge their own culpability. Perhaps the answer, they say, is to try a harder wall next time - solo. Internet forums are littered with BWT's, but by definition, you will never find a BWT on the summit
Carpe Swinem! - The Call of the Pig
Changeover Time - from coffee to beer, occurs earlier on weekends
Clusterf*#k - a high level of Entropy, what you get when your Wank Factor spirals out of control
Co-efficient Of Wank - that unitless number, which when multiplied by the total amount of time spent on a particular task, equals the amount of time lost to unproductive activity [i.e. wanking about]
Color - Merrican for colour
Comprime - to squeeze all the air out of an empty water bottle, to flatten a beer can with a hammer
Corollary - a natural consequence [of something], a proposition that follows from one already proved [e.g. "If you are bitchin', then you will have detractors." In this instance, note that the converse is not necessarily true. Just because you have Detractors does not necessarily mean you are Bitchin'- you might just be a jerk]
Crab - Brit. slang for carabiner - not to be confused with Big Wall Crab
Credibility - being worthy of belief, not shooting yourself in the foot
CRS - debilitating illness suffered by Dr. Piton which worsens with age - Can't Remember Sh#t, Casual Rating System of aid climbing difficulty consisting of NBD, NTB, PDH, and DFU
Degree Of Freedom - an ability to perform an operation without affecting anything else, not clipping stuff on top of other stuff
DFU - extreme aid climbing as rated by CRS where a single mistake is likely to result in severe injury or death - Don't Blow It
Duct Tape - handyman's secret weapon. It can save your life on a big wall, and no lead rack is complete without it
Eh? - a unique Hoser term expressing confirmation, an all-purpose "tie-down" inviting acknowledgement from the listener, spoken with a sneaky sense of Pride when talking to Merricans, used primarily at the end of virtually every statement, sentence, question and/or exclamation, and often at the beginning or in the middle
Entropy - from the Second Law of Thermodynamics - the spontaneous tendency towards disorder
ETS - Emphatically The Sh#t
Empirical Evidence - replicated enough times in a controlled environment to establish strong positive Correlation
Fundamental - pay frickin' attention or you will end up dead!
Getting It - more of a destination than a journey. For the most part, either you "get it" or you don't
Hearsay - something you heard someone say about someone else, but without actually hearing it from the first person's own mouth. Gossip, rumour. Inadmissable - attempting to use it undermines your own Credibility.
[HINT] - indirect indication of a suggestion, small piece of practical information, sometimes delivered in "stage whisper", or with all the subtlety of a 2 x 4 across the chops: "I'm talking to you, dammit!"
Hoser - Canuck, eh?
Keffle Out - to Bail on your partner[s] without valid reason, emphatically the worst sin according to Dr. Piton
Loquacious - excessively talkative or verbose, using twenty-six words when four or five will do
Mexicanized Crab - also known as Mexican Locker or [ML] - a standard non-locking crab whose gate has been locked shut with duct tape
Mini-Big Wall Tutorial - a talk by Dr. Piton usually given at the drop of a hat, often in the parking lot, Camp 4, at the base or on the summit. A complete solution to your wall climbing problem scribbled on a scrap of paper or serviette [that's "napkin" to you Merricans, eh?] or demonstrated with a few slings, carabiners and pieces of cord. The likelihood of Dr. Piton giving you a Mini-Big Wall Tutorial is directly proportional to the amount of beer you place in his hand. Climbers in receipt of said tutorials frequently respond with phrases like, "That's so simple! I can't believe I never thought of that before!"
Morning - begins sometime after 10 a.m., coffee is integral and requisite
NBD - easy aid climbing as rated by CRS - No Big Deal
NTB - moderate aid climbing as rated by CRS - Not Too Bad
OB - Old Bull. A journey rather than a destination, possessing of great wisdom and experience
PDH - difficult aid climbing as rated by CRS - Pretty Damn Hard
Plain Vanilla - ordinary, mediocre, humdrum, 5 out of 10, the ultimate Dr. Piton insult
Preposition - A bad thing to end a sentence with.
Pride - a sin, the opposite of humility, the belief that you are more bitchin' than you really are, a blinding towards self-examination and self-improvement, one of Dr. Piton's character flaws
Redundancy - the concept that something can be lost or omitted without loss of significance and which must be incorporated into every big wall climbing system, bringing two things in case you happen to drop one
Stylin' - to climb a wall with all the luxuries of home, to be comfortable in an exceptionally hostile environment
Synergy - the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual parts
The Sh#t - the purest and most perfect manifestation or embodiment of a quality, the ultimate, quintessence, none higher
Traditional - stupid
Vell-Organicized - the opposite to a Clusterf*#k, operating with minimized Wank Factor
Voila! - Bob's Your Uncle
Wall Doctor - one who is both willing and able to diagnose and solve big wall problems. Note: be certain to carefully scrutinize anyone purporting to be a Wall Doctor - he could be a BWT in disguise
Wanker - one prone to operating with a high Wank Factor
Wank Factor - see Co-efficient Of Wank
Worth - your ability to arrive at the summit of a big wall having bootied more gear than you have dropped
YB - Young Bull - a transitional stage in the journey towards becoming an OB, but at least predictable in behaviour.
Edit: Ron, I am literally pissing myself with laughter at your PTSD definition!
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Manjusri
climber
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Aug 27, 2012 - 09:34pm PT
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Funpoint: No falls ascent on top-rope.
One of my first partners taught me there are only three ratings: five.fun, five.hard, and five.scary.
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moacman
Trad climber
Montana
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Aug 27, 2012 - 09:39pm PT
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Snaffle hound....Little furry b@stards that like to chew your rope, shoes and pack...
Good one Pete.....
Stevo
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Aug 27, 2012 - 09:40pm PT
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@Manjusri^^^^ And 5.Whatever
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funkazzista
climber
Italy
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Aug 27, 2012 - 09:43pm PT
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Beta Sandbag Flash: it's when you flash a route despite been (purposely) given bad/wrong beta.
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covelocos
Trad climber
Nor Cal
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Aug 27, 2012 - 09:52pm PT
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'Ralston'... no explanation needed
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Aug 27, 2012 - 09:54pm PT
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It is funny that the definition of the term FUN for my wife somewhat differs from my definition. Even though she is The Empress of Adventure she still lets me know when I have erred on the side of ludicrousness.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
merced, california
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Aug 27, 2012 - 10:09pm PT
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Horizontally Impaired: See 'Pass the Pitons Pete' and 'Cosmic Ragsman.'
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Mike from Phoenix
Trad climber
Phoenix, AZ
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Aug 27, 2012 - 10:10pm PT
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Belaytio (or Bellatio): a really, really good belay.
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nutjob
Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
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Aug 27, 2012 - 10:11pm PT
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Mike, I really don't want to hear how you might define Friends with Benefits.
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moacman
Trad climber
Montana
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Aug 27, 2012 - 11:03pm PT
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Groveling............Same as above except more despo........
Stevo
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Aug 27, 2012 - 11:04pm PT
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Jeff, the correct word is "thrutch", and has been in common use by British cavers and climbers for decades.
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Salamanizer
Trad climber
The land of Fruits & Nuts!
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Aug 27, 2012 - 11:18pm PT
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Kragulates = The lichen in your eyes, down your shirt/pants, shoes, socks etc... after cleaning or climbing a dirty route.
Has also been applied to the crumbs left on the table after breaking up some weed. In place of the more popular "grunions" term.
I like the Yellow Point and Turtling terms. Yellow Point gets my overall vote to win the contest.
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MisterE
Social climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 28, 2012 - 09:18am PT
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Belaytio (or Bellatio): a really, really good belay.
That is really funny, Mike!
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can't say
Social climber
Pasadena CA
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Aug 28, 2012 - 10:31am PT
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Snail-eye
Seeing spots
cloud in New Jersey
3 different ways to say you want to go down or before even leaving the ground
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Aug 28, 2012 - 10:42am PT
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Thrushing
thrutch/crushing
(onsighting at your limit isn't always pretty)
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
merced, california
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Aug 28, 2012 - 11:39am PT
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Smurf Weather: way too cold.
Baby Bear: anything that is just right.
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hossjulia
Social climber
Eastside (of the Tetons)
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Aug 28, 2012 - 11:50am PT
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Started by Bill Lundeen after watching 'Oh Brother Where Art Thou' about 4 times in a row.
We're in a tight spot now! (At appropriate crux's for comedic effect.)
Made me laugh every time.
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Edge
Trad climber
New Durham, NH
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Aug 28, 2012 - 12:06pm PT
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**Fiddlef*#k**
To dick around with minute detail to the point of obsession, often to no avail.
"I fiddlef*#ked with the gear at the crux, but my partner said it came right out with his fingertips and wouldn't have even held my dignity."
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