Largo Writing Contest

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happiegrrrl

Trad climber

New York, NY

Apr 18, 2006 - 08:52am PT

What you have "won," like an author worth their salt, will be the yin/yang sensation of pleasure/distaste at seeing your words recounted and/or plagarized, without your knowledge or consent, and with no credit or other renumeration......

Seriously - the stories you put out, and those from the other contestants, were all good and fun to read. It was a great idea for a climbing, but not really, thread.

Maybe ST should have "Author of the Week"(or month, or unlimited timeframe) threads where we can take stabs at the keyboards pretending "if only we were." Maybe Mark Twight would make for a good counterbalance as a "next up."

Grug

Trad climber

Golden, Colorado

Apr 18, 2006 - 09:29am PT

That's genius! I'm already laughing to myself about what Mark Twight stories would sound like.

Russ Walling

Social climber

Same place as you, man...... (WB)

Apr 18, 2006 - 11:21am PT

Say Happi,

The words "contest" usually mean prize, and this part:

6. No prizes (probably - but maybe a certificate, plaque, an OldE, a Malt Wiskey, or who knows what).)

Is what kept me going through the 12 minutes I spent on the project. Load me baby, load me.....

WBraun

climber

Apr 18, 2006 - 11:35am PT

The "Prize" will always come.

How many years or lifetimes is can your patience hold?

happiegrrrl

Trad climber

New York, NY

Apr 18, 2006 - 02:10pm PT

Russ - If I see you next time I go to Jtree, I will personally buy you the libation of your choice, and I think so should everyone else who read your award-winning(or no award, as the case seems to be....) stories.

As for the "Author of the Week" club, if twight is the man, I am thinking a grueling, miserable, suffering account of.....almost opening a bag of chips might be a good start.....

looking sketchy there...

Social climber

Latitute 33

Topic Author's Reply - Apr 18, 2006 - 03:48pm PT

OK already......

Here are the results, totally unofficial (and like a 5 star route in Josh -- biased by my personal taste -- feel free to disagree):

1st Place: Russ Walling (several entries)
2nd Place: Steelmonkey
3rd Place: Karl Baba

1st Prize: Free Beer and pizza at KPs*

2nd Prize: All expense paid tour of the Outhouses of Joshua Tree**

3rd Prize: 100% guaranteed*** spot-on beta for pulling the crux of Double Cross.

* Must be redeemed by April 15, 2006 -- I guess Russ already collected his prize.
** Travel, meals and lodging not included.
*** Must be proficient at 5.10c cracks.

PS: Thanks for all the excellent entries.

James

Social climber

My Subconcious

Apr 18, 2006 - 05:40pm PT

I'm a loser...does anyone have a jelly donut I can drown in?

Jingy

Social climber

Flatland, Ca

Apr 18, 2006 - 11:39pm PT

Thanks Russ,

Your stories caused me to spit up all over my new iBook's screen!

Hey, any ideas on how to clean this mess up?

Jingy

Splater

climber

Grey Matter

Apr 18, 2006 - 11:56pm PT

The aftermath.

Legends were retold, and remolded. But now it was the day after the biggest Josh blowout in years, and time for today’s deeds. Starbell and her legend hustled out to Horningway Buttress, showing up about 2 pm in time for a coupling of classics. Though he’d never done it, Leg had deemed that the usual classic might be unworthy of his attention, so he wondered off, pondering a tick of the Scary route. But... not today.

In the meantime, several pairs of wankers arrived, some hoping to climb one of the same popular routes. Gorgeous Star couldn’t decide which route she wanted to toprope first, and really just wanted to reserve them all. Couldn’t those maddening morons just leave? She rambled on about her life story of the hour. A body that wouldn’t quit, with a mouth to match. But instead they just set their packs down and waited. It was clear to all that not even the best looking babe in all of Morongo could climb two routes at once.

Leg’s head ached like 750 ml of Monument Manor homebrew agave. Same old mundanity. Had to climb out of this pit. He racked up his well used gear and cruised up his choice. Floated it, owned it, flashed it, styled it. Starbell managed to follow and joined him on top, basking in the afternoon light. But in his head there was no peace. Something was lacking & hadn’t gone according to the vision. It just wasn’t the same as it never was.

Russ Walling

Social climber

Out on the sand.... man.....

Jul 15, 2007 - 02:46am PT

Writers block bump

John Moosie

climber

Jul 15, 2007 - 02:58pm PT

LOL This is definitely of the funniest threads I have read.

TwistedCrank

climber

Luxury rehabilitation treatment facility in Boise

Jul 22, 2007 - 05:18pm PT

I hate to add this but... well, I don't really hate to add this but...

How about a Pat Ament writing contest?

Mimi

climber

Aug 13, 2008 - 11:18pm PT

In appreciation of Largo and his literary exploits and it's been a whole year already, shouldn't this thread's content be rekindled for 2008? It's a summer Olympic's year afterall. Mussy's gotta defend his title!

Ed Hartouni

Trad climber

Livermore, CA

Apr 21, 2010 - 09:37pm PT

bump for a favorite old thread from long ago...

Spider Savage

Mountain climber

SoCal

Apr 21, 2010 - 10:17pm PT

Ya See, Russ, This is why you need to start doin slide shows. This sh#t is good. Just grab some any-old weird picts, slap together a show and a script, and do the show. Plus, you could sell more weird FISH gear with the exposure. Like the FISH Triple Melvin, etc.

Thanks for pullin this up Ed. It's a classic.