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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 19, 2011 - 11:07am PT
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hey there, the Dood...
say, as to this quote:
I am not a wife nor a mom, but I have learned over the years to knott trust leaving kids alone with anyone. How many nice old grandfathers have turned out to be the ones that are being accused of molesting whomever it is that's giving their testimony or writing their book, etc.?
I don't know your wife(or you)but i suspect she is prollie more concerned of the probability of you trusting someone again(& again)with the possibility and the eventual outcomes becoming less favorible in the long run.
i was also worried if this was the trouble, too... but i thought maybe he had explained that they were all outside...
but yes, you must take care with kids, as to these dangers...
glad you shared this...
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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Aug 19, 2011 - 12:56pm PT
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Sullly, Seems more like an opinion of what's eating his wife...except -the last two words.."money worries."
Fact, You quit your full time job and started a new business durning a down turn in the economy, money is tight, and bills need to be paid...
feeling like the other shoe is going to drop...not good.
Feeling uncertain and anxious about money..causes stress... possibly anger. ...and
DO NOT .. hang up the phone on your wife...BAD...
Good luck with your new business...
umm, this always eases my wrath... (-; cook some dinners, clean the house, an apology..and some flowers...and yes...talk.
if she is working full time, she will appreciate. ^
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 19, 2011 - 01:15pm PT
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hey there say, the Dood...
oh no, you may be right... it may not have been said that they would be outside...
sometimes i dont remember all the details, as, i have to read fast, lately, so it does not anchor, :) :O
but at any rate, you sure brought up a very good solid thing to
be concerned about--and it DOES come into play, as to mom's
being fearful for safety, :)
*well, my next group of kids is coming back after lunch with their dad, so i got to go again...
:)
just saw that the thread had a higher number, so i wanted to see if all was getting settled down yet, in some solid ways...
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 19, 2011 - 01:19pm PT
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thank you all
i've assumed a humble and apologetic stance
and the future preceeded this moment anyway,
so's there is really nothing i can do to change
my coarse course,
so i'll just hang on with my eyes tearing
as i slam my face against life's headwinds.
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Batrock
Trad climber
Burbank
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Aug 19, 2011 - 01:37pm PT
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Hey, whats the problem?
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cliffhanger
Trad climber
California
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Aug 19, 2011 - 04:16pm PT
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Many 6 and 7 year olds walk to school, dealing with traffic by themselves, a very high danger situation. A 7 year old is plenty old enough to keep out the danger zone and to shepherd her 5 year old sister out as well, especially with you in sight of them. Plus the tree trimmer, esp. a Norwegian, is in good control of when he drops anything and can make sure all is safe. Plus since you are right there you can make sure the fellow down below behaves himself in regard to your daughters. You looked after your daughters just fine during the tree cutting and no one has a right to fault you there.
With even younger children one could tie string around their waists (like in O Brother Wherefore Art Thou) and tether them for a short time while one gets the dangerous work done.
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graniteclimber
Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
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Aug 19, 2011 - 05:41pm PT
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Back to the safety issue, it doesn't matter if it was safe or unsafe or if the wife's concerns were reasonable or unreasonable.
She raised the concern on the phone. He cursed and hung up. That's bad enough.
Then he went ahead and went through with it. Yes, he knew she'd spoken to his friend and heard that the customer had the friend's approval. But did he ever call her and say, "Well now that you spoke to my friend, are you OK with this, or do you want me to reschedule? I'm not going if you're still uncomfortable with it."
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tolman_paul
Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
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Aug 19, 2011 - 06:31pm PT
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One thing I’ve observed (can’t claim to have learned, I’m still working on it) in regards to the male/female relationship thing is that men don’t need any help or encouragement fulfilling their own needs, rather on the contrary they need to work on identifying and helping their mate achieve their goals. Conversely women don’t need to be encouraged to be selfless, but if they give more than they should, they will become bitter and angry about it, especially if they see their mate taking more then they think their mate should take.
So long as the two of you share a vision of how you want your family’s life to go, then you can weather any storm. Being strapped for cash puts stress on any relationship, and it’s magnified 100 fold when you have the responsibility of kids.
I’m thinking the real issue is your wife is seeing you as being selfish, insensitive to her and your children’s needs and dishonest, and has analyzed your actions which re-enforces her view.
It can be bounced back from, but realize what most of us lack most when it comes to effectively communicating is being able to listen and hear what is being said to us. You don’t need to make excuses for your actions, you don’t need to justify them. You need to listen, then the two of you can come to a resolution of where you want to go together, and how you’ll get there.
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Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
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Aug 19, 2011 - 11:33pm PT
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you have a wife with two young daughters. if they look to you for makin the bacon, and you are excited about $250, then no wonders she might be a little high strung. put yourself in her shoes. sounds like you are too self absorbed.
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slayton
Trad climber
Here and There
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Aug 20, 2011 - 01:53am PT
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I love climbing. I love the climbers, the souls and hearts and wisdom as shown in this thread even more.
Norwegian, stay strong brother. No matter the course. Your wife deserves it. Your kids deserve it. And YOU deserve it.
Stay true. .. . .
Sean
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cliffhanger
Trad climber
California
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Aug 20, 2011 - 01:53am PT
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In the legal aftermath of a collision of ships at sea, almost always both ships are found to be partly at fault and blame is assigned as a percentage to each.
He's doing everything at once, watching the kids and slaving away to bring in the funding, and she's giving him grief over the phone.
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