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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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couchmaster,
i consider the crv
my kid's college fund.
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couchmaster
climber
pdx
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I use to as well Norwegian, but as my youngest is a college senior, I now drink wines rated 90 and above, planning to not leave that as cash when I depart from the earth and leave my body back here.
the lad on spring break last month or so.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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sir your lad looks strapping
and im sure that you have some
credence so don't worry yourself
too much and just author each
day before you as you can
and go to the mountains often
for they purge us of confusions,
and then again wallow in your confusions
and swim towards understanding
but never again stand on firm ground
that is o.k. for life
is wiley and struggle
is welcoming and
death is ours to author
and you've everything to strive for
but most well-being is beyond grasp,
and just keep your head up some of
the time
and your feet 'neath you most of the time
and we'll be at tomorrow, together.
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
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Nice to see this thread has been up and at it. Congratulations to all who are celebrating milestones recently, and best wishes to those struggling today.
I am entering the time of year that is the anniversary of my "Home Stretch" to sobriety(otherwise knows as the period of my bottoming out...). In less than 3 months, on August 26th, I'll celebrate 16 years of sobriety(so long as I don't drink, that is).
But this upcoming period of time, each year, is an odd one for me. I get body memories of the feelings I was having that last few months of drinking. They are feelings of loneliness coupled with an awareness that life was not going to be changing for the better, as I had been holding out for over the years. It's as if there is a ghost of the past walking alongside me at times.
But feeling a-ok right now!
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest is some wickedly funny and trenchant commentary on AA and additiction in general. I'd imagine if you participate in AA (I don't) that it would be even funnier and more cutting.
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Couchmaster and neighbor - I see a light in you. Your kids need and want you way past college. You are looking at this stuff for some reason. You really don't need a reason beyond treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated.
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MikeL
climber
SANTA CLARA, CA
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At a spiritual retreat I recently attended, my best friend told me that they just realized that their past addiction was both an attraction and an aversion. According to my friend, the paradox is what made alcoholism difficult to step away from.
I thought, "how odd." Usually things are one or the other. I'm not sure I understand why that would make an addiction so difficult to escape from.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Hmmm, I'd heard that, Elcap, I may have to try again to read, Infinite Jest. i'm warming up on Neal Stephenson's Anathem. Why did these guys ditch minimalism? I miss SnowCrash!
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yoslocal
climber
Yosemite
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Jun 13, 2012 - 04:38am PT
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Is this what I am going to do? A late night apology for feelings that I can not even explain myself? Thank you for this thread...I am am Yo local that has climbed on/off for years... but there are certain things that hold more meaning...I have looked at this site in the past to purely get information on what is going on in the valley...but lately, I have come for some sort of reassurance that everything I have understood to be my life is normal..isn't that strange? That I have to look to a random site that I don't know anyone for reassurance? And by the way, I am very sorry, but I am not sober now...
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Jun 13, 2012 - 10:35am PT
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I have come for some sort of reassurance that everything I have understood to be my life is normal.
It is the real beauty of supertopo. The climbing beta is great, but the community is really the best of it. Glad you are here!
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jun 13, 2012 - 10:52am PT
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sully it is also entirely possible,
and highly likely that
these artists of whom you speak
may never have found their
proper expression without
their's illness encouraging their tongue.
wellness is wiley,
illness is necessary.
ours striving for physical perfection
is admirable but,
i believe, erroneous.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jun 13, 2012 - 11:28am PT
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ten 4 hank,
im lost within the site
and i just bump around
spittin out kiddie thought bubbles
and when a respected peer slaps
me sane i take the shot with honor.
you kindly implying:
get off my property!
and i shall.
see you around elsewhere!
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Edge
Trad climber
New Durham, NH
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Jun 13, 2012 - 11:50am PT
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So I'm two weeks away from my two year sobriety date, and the urge to drink has been completely lifted in that time. COMPLETELY.
Two days ago I was in my basement looking for some decking nails. Behind some boxes that haven't been moved in nigh on 10 years, I found a vodka bottle, one quarter full, that was obviously stashed and forgotten in a blackout. Like the Dead sang, "The bottle was dusty but the liquor was clean." It didn't matter that I probably could have drank it and got away with it, the thought never entered my mind. It most certainly would have been the first drink of the end of my life.
I promptly dumped it down the sink; the smell disgusted me.
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Jun 13, 2012 - 12:10pm PT
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Sully, I know he took his own life, no idea about the details. I haven't read any of his other works, plan to, but haven't gotten there yet. It seems pretty clear that Infinite Jest was drawing from his personal experiences with addiction..they were just too accurate to not be.
I can't imagine what it's like to be saddled with the "greatest writer of his generation" tag and all that entails.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Jun 13, 2012 - 03:22pm PT
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you kindly implying:
get off my property!
and i shall.
Weeg, definitely do NOT bail completely on this thread!
That's not what Hank asked.
You're just trying to figure it out, same as the rest of us.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jun 13, 2012 - 04:15pm PT
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hey my feathers are spread aloft,
not ruffled, i'll just glide onwards,
and litter other threads
i understand exactly what you say, hank.
im arrogant as a sunofa bitch
and naive to boot,
so these combo makes for
a loud idiot.
i believe what i say,
i live what i believe.
and i'll die a lie.
carry on and find the screams in our life that whisper truths.
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John M
climber
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Jun 13, 2012 - 04:41pm PT
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sully it is also entirely possible,
and highly likely that
these artists of whom you speak
may never have found their
proper expression without
their's illness encouraging their tongue.
wellness is wiley,
illness is necessary.
ours striving for physical perfection
is admirable but,
i believe, erroneous.
Agreed.. to a point.
I believe it can help that one has traveled into darkness to speak to those who are trapped there. But one doesn't have to stay there. It also helps to have someone who has seen the light and can attest to how much better it is then the darkness. The problem is that in this world of darkness, there are few who have fully let go of the darkness and the darkness has a way of gripping a person so that they believe it is better.
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kaholatingtong
Trad climber
the green triangle, cali
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Jun 13, 2012 - 06:53pm PT
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blam, +2 john. dont go away weeg.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Jun 13, 2012 - 07:18pm PT
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Good job Edge! I am creeping up on six years sober. It mostly super easy for me these days. I have no problem being arround friends when they are drinking. I play music in bars so am arround the stuff every week. I did go in the liquor store a few months ago to buy a friend a 12pack of micro beer for their Bday and that made me physicaly ill. It just pushed the right buttons to completly freak me out.. weird sh#t I guess?
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