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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Apr 18, 2016 - 09:21am PT
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I really need to take that wise saying in.
I am no fan of the fan boy locals only
like surfing'
-My beach My sand My Girls ,
kinda non-inclusive thing that goes down .
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Ay Aye
Social climber
MIT, Cambridge, Massachusetts
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Apr 18, 2016 - 10:53am PT
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Pursed Lipped Bored Wandering Lady in the Airport Alert
She's been there since 5:00 pm.
No, since she was five years old, poor thing.
(Storyline: girl lives in airport since she was five, left behind by her parents).
Parents were Tibetan and also Free Tibet activists who had to return to Tibet and who might be taken prisoner by the Chinese. They left their daughter in the Sacramento International Airport in the hopes that some American family would adopt her. Security kept asking her where her parents were and she said she didn't know. They asked her what her father looked like and she kept saying, "he looks like a man!"
Her parents were also Soviet spies and they wanted to keep her safe from their enemies so they dressed her in a spangled outfit, taught her "God Bless America" and had her perform at the airport terminal as a distraction so they could board a plane and escape to South Africa -never to be seen again. The daughter was recognized for her singing talents and was adopted by a record producer who made her a STAR & she lived happily ever after.
Until she got amnesia from a heroin overdose and wandered back into the same airport where she was abandoned as a child. She remains to this day in the baggage terminal digging red white and blue plastic bags from the trash and weaving them into her dirty blond dreadlocks as she hums "God Bless America" between shots of ripple wine.
When the porter at the baggage terminal asked her how she ended up there she said, "I like to embrace my dark side.
I secretly plan on someday ruling the universe,
and cunningly betraying my rivals with backstabbing double crossing treasonous cowardly acts.
My favorite color is black and all the famous evil tyrants of history are my heroes."
The porter replied, "all righty then!"
After hearing her dark rantings on world domination, color preference and villainous historical heroes, the authorities wrote her off as your garden variety nut job. But what the authorities didn't know and what no one had figured out was that her color coded search for red white and blue trash bags, that she painstakingly wove into her own dirty dreadlocks, was a code. A code that when deciphered revealed a map. A treasure map of sorts. The one gift her parents had risked giving her, should their plan of leaving their 5yo daughter to attempt assimilation into the land of God bless America not succeed. This treasure map implanted within her temporal lobes, deep within her hippocampus-- lay every secret that her spy parents ever intercepted, but most importantly it including a fantastical treasure of rube goldbergian complexity. Know to most treasure seekers as the postsocialist Buryat treasure or terma- known only to the few remote Indian villages scattered along the Tibeten border...
Two days after that the porter who was actually a CIA operative doing surveillance and acting on a tip that possible terrorist suspects might be traveling throughly the airport reported to his superiors back at the hotel. 'The porter's airport report' as it would later be referred to revealed certain facts about the wandering pursed lipped airport lady that his superiors were overlooking.
1. She had a way of chanting 'Om Mani Padme Om' between the words of "God Bless America" so that it came out as "God Bless Om Mani Padme Omerica" which was code for "we must embalm our great Buddhist leaders head in the socialist manner befitting a proletariat"
2. Her dirty bag woven dreadlocks also contained deadly cyanide capsules and strapped to her waist under her blouse was a money belt containing Monopoly money and a miniature thermonuclear device with enough explosive power to destroy an airport terminal or bring down a jumbo jet.
3. The porter being trained to hold back no secrets from his superiors also revealed that he and the woman had been carrying on a secret love affair in the early hours of the morning in the private security lounge.
But of course our CIA operative/airport porter was also a tai kwon do black belt master whose name was Kalderon Martin and while being secretly in love with the pursed lipped wandering airport lady (whose name of course must be kept a secret for now because of national security reasons) he was also deeply uneasy of the thermonuclear device and cyanide capsules she carried and wondered that they might be a cover for some deeper more clandestine ruse of which he had yet to surmise but in the meantime he thought the deadly accoutrements an uncomfortable and distracting element during their brief romantic interludes.
And for now since the real name of our tragic heroine must remain a secret, for if you knew it we would have to kill you, so we will go by her codename which is...
In 1982 there was a secret underground laboratory on the border between...
"Once was a girl named Kya,
who's life it flew right by ya,
She loved to eat papaya,
Whenever she sang Kumbayah,"
Kya repeated this mantra ad infinitum as she ran across frozen the glacier. The ice crunched beneath her feet as she ran along in her crampons. The Soviet border safely to the west along the ridge top, she ran along the glacial valley to the east, well inside Mongolian territory.
Her feet long ago blistered and raw, they were numb with pain and she cared not, and would later bear the scars, as the baby girl in her pack slept from exhaustion as she jostled along, oblivious to the armed pursuers.
Checking to see who was watching him, Kalderon Martin put the suitcase in trunk of the grey Cadillac SUV…
(To be continued)
-A Collaborate Work
by Daughter Aye, Niece Libarle, and Ay Aye
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 18, 2016 - 12:49pm PT
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[Click to View YouTube Video]
Smack and Ripple sing the Too Dark Polka!
Give 'em a hand!
That’s a dark dark story
Which you’ve related today
And this is what I say
I’ll sing it while I may
It’s a three-man effort
Penned in a darkened room
Change the words, the light bulb, too
And lighten up the gloom
Cuz
It’s too dark for me
It’s too dark for me
It’s too dark for me
I don’t get it, I don’t get it
It’s too dark for me,
I don’t get it
I don’t get it
It’s too dark for me
Did it lighten my day?
No, no, no, no, no
Do I now feel okay?
No, no, no, no, no?
Have I really missed the point?
Should I smoke another joint?
Could I maybe know
What you’re trying to show?
No, no, no
Such a strange brew
And who knows how true
But I don’t blame you
Because I’ve a loose screw
It’s too dark for me
It’s too dark for me
It’s too dark for me
I don’t get it, I don’t get it
It’s too dark for me,
I don’t get it
I don’t get it
It’s too dark for me
It’s sort of bizzare
Fetched pretty far
Don’t know who you are
Your train is short a car
It’s too dark for me
It’s too dark for me
It’s too dark for me
I don’t get it, I don’t get it
It’s too dark for me,
I don’t get it
I don’t get it
It’s too dark for me
Hey!
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Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
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Apr 18, 2016 - 01:14pm PT
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Ay Aye told me he conceived of the story in the airport baggage claim waiting to meet someone after a flight. It was written collaboratively via texts with Ay Aye family units and the premise was that you never really know the back story on any stranger you might observe.
That crazy Ay Aye, always coming up with obscure ideas. I never know what he's up to next.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 18, 2016 - 04:19pm PT
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I am O-be-wan-tay.
I have found my way.
The Force is strong today.
Mon-o-mon this cat can play!
Check out his Werner act beginnining @ 4:20, where he's already channeling Chuck Berry.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
Monkey-Weasel-Mouse from Merced via Winchester
And...it's 4:20!
Things just got much, much better. Aye, they did!
Dr. Terry isn't anyone's second chair, either.[Click to View YouTube Video]
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Apr 18, 2016 - 05:42pm PT
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Ive been called out and am going to be 'round,
I have to get this knee thing sorted out, and loose a few pounds,
save Cake and nut$, I am stoked that the guy whose timing is worse than mine reached out,
I hope to make it happen,
in the Gunks?
I've not been to the "White Cliff" ? nobody ever called it that.
It is The Bank, I've not been to the Bank in 30 yrs! holy schist!
the memory of climbing with RR brings back few fond memories.
When challenged by hard climbing he swore a pitched a fit.
All while cling to nothing, screaming "I'm Gonna Die"
or starting out mumbling, but getting loud
"fck all, this is it, this is it, this is it" . . . over and over.
I often wondered what I would do,
walking' into Rock & Snow , long faced streaked with grief
to report that the great one had sent his last move....
God & evil go climbing at the bank?
yikes that pushing it, for day one.
Ill link the web site it is cool you can zoom in on the lines,
this is the age of pre-inspection from bongcontrol
Westward HA is the standard Rap in point, found at "laughing Wall left",
I'm really only familiar with a half dozen routes at the Bank, now maybe i should call it the White cliff too
http://www.thewhitecliff.com/topos/laughleft1.html
http://www.thewhitecliff.com/topos.html
http://www.thewhitecliff.com/topos/laughright1.html
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throwpie
Trad climber
Berkeley
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Apr 18, 2016 - 08:11pm PT
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Hi Mouse
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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Apr 18, 2016 - 08:20pm PT
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first there was no mountain ...
then miles from pavement arose the visage of an exercise pile, this being the intimidating north face
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Apr 18, 2016 - 08:24pm PT
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dedicated to muhammad locker and the guy who didn't kill Cosmic.
BTW ccm, did you shoot back?
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 19, 2016 - 03:52am PT
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James Newton Howard - Restoration soundtrack - (HI THROWPIE) - The Fire
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr3Wo1-u5DM
Straw Wars
After all the twists and turns
And through all those trees and ferns
O-be-cho-kee-no-bee learns
That Lucas isn't old Ken Burns
The fantasies that George constructs
All seem to make a zillion bucks
I wish I had a deal like that
Instead I think I'll kick the cat
Conk myself with a baseball bat
While wearing my stormtrooper's hat
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 19, 2016 - 04:12am PT
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Fire and Ice
by Roberg Frost
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 19, 2016 - 04:27am PT
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that's not my weasel that's my monkey
The highest-rated climb I've did. Met some guy in the parking lot or off the bulletin board at the kiosk in 4, went & did it, barely, then went & couldn't follow without falling Walk of Life.
I only got up using nefarious methods, but the guy thanked me for the belays and the lack of fear. I told him the falls were not embarrassing because I knew I would fail, being out of shape and skipping the 5.10c rating entirely.
I wish I had his name, but it's long gone from my mind.
"That's life."
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Apr 19, 2016 - 04:42am PT
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Placed it
[Click to View YouTube Video]got it ! Now it doesn't fit
Mothers Finest ?
Rock?
A bully' goat has coffee at Starbucks, goon, no one gives
ABU K,
fer this was going to be about an old pal, & pack,
throw Throwpie a bone
but hey?
But now my pick hardy fits I saw one better , ya got me in fitz
http://youtu.be/dIcb9xWnr8s
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Apr 19, 2016 - 05:08am PT
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[Click to View YouTube Video]Yikes old habits are hard to break,
kinda lost the direction , ugh now I've got to go so it won't be fixed
check out Kiteboarding videos but not - whynotbikini it was an X-rated .com
I was an early kite skier
the way the winds at Squaw blew
it is lucky that I wasn't the 1st injured too.
I removed the kite commercial & and it left the top of my scroll?
So now this makes no sense Ina Goda Davida , man,
not that the next song is that
Far from it
1961-Salty dog , banjos nstuff then a Ricky Scaggs playin as a child....
http://youtu.be/QW_YGXqQq6c
&
http://youtu.be/qhJyvumh1gQ
]chosen because it will not go away , the lost kite flyin' video, sittin'at the top of every YouTube scroll menu I got to hope this post will make it not so.
Not in tune,with what's is up
so back to the drawing board,
the picture should go more with the story ,
I'm a dad of two free wiles but climbin' is not in the book, dang nabbit!
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Apr 19, 2016 - 07:59am PT
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To Brownsville, of course. Why do you ask?
[Click to View YouTube Video]
It makes ya warm and Furry, no?
[Click to View YouTube Video]
The things a man will do for a woman. Well there's a dual purpose to evrything ya know. I'm also looking for that slide that Furry is rumoured to have left there at the San Carlos.
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