Top 5 reasons for bailing...Humor, please!

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Clint Cummins

Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
Mar 3, 2009 - 12:47am PT
[After coming down from El Cap:] "I was getting out of shape up here...."

(I heard this in a story once).
corniss chopper

Mountain climber
san jose, ca
Mar 3, 2009 - 01:58am PT
Because the 1st rock missed and exploded next to our shoes on the ground drawing our attention. The 2nd ricocheted off the slab above, peppering our backs with gravel.
WandaFuca

Gym climber
San Fernando Lamas
Mar 3, 2009 - 02:06am PT
"I knew we shouldn't have put Dale Bard in charge of the food."
Dr.Sprock

Boulder climber
Sprocketville
Mar 3, 2009 - 02:16am PT
1) I've had an erection for more than four hours
2) I want some more Jesus Juice
3) I locked my sack in this biner
4) Dude, I'm so stoned I forgot my shoes
5) I just dropped a nut
corniss chopper

Mountain climber
san jose, ca
Mar 5, 2009 - 02:40am PT
Got to bail because 30sec is way to long for a relight


Deemed Useless

Social climber
Ca.
Mar 5, 2009 - 02:48am PT
Becuase you're eight pitches or so up on one climb or an other and your partner decides on the spot. That climbing is dumb!
Reilly

Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
Mar 6, 2009 - 12:14pm PT
The Gud Boot

I went in to solo the NE Buttress of Mt Goode in the N. Cascades a hundred years ago. When I got to the aptly named Grizzly Creek after 9 miles it was a good 75' wide and raging. I de-booted, tied my boots together, and slung them around my neck. Since it looked like it could be waist deep I also un-buckled my waist belt in case I went down. Halfway across my feet were numb (my brain was before I started) and I was very annoyed at the boots hanging around my neck and banging my chest. I found a flat rock mid-stream to put my pack on and get up on to warm my feet. The far bank was now only about 35' away. I untied my boots to throw them across; how hard could it be? I took the first one and firmly grasped the laces and started twirling it like David lining up Goliath. When I figured I had developed the requisite angular velocity I initiated the launch sequence. What I hadn't anticipated was that there was a hidden murphyism (I am part Irish after all) in the release sequence that entailed, so to speak, the laces wrapping themselves around one of my fingers. In my defense let it be said that I had correctly estimated the requisite angular velocity as the boot came within about 8', if the burning memory serves, of a dry landing. In the defense of the good cobblers at Galibier let it be said that they craft a very seaworthy boot. Not only is the Galibier Peuterey self-righting it also has excellent longitudinal stability. The last I saw it was on an even keel with bow downstream making excellent headway. A frantic chase, barefoot and nigh unto naked, through the bushes only confirmed the excellent stability and hull speed of the Peuterey.

To add insult to injury I had to re-cross the 'creek' to contemplate the 9 mile return hike. I was glad I had taken a good supply of athletic tape as it does make a passable if absurd-looking moccasin. You can well imagine the looks I got upon my arrival in Stehekin.

The next summer Bob Crawford and a friend went in to do the NE Buttress. A good mile or more before the Grizzly Creek crossing he walked down to N Bridge Creek to get a drink. Yes, at this point at least 1.5 miles below the scene of the crime, he found my beached boot! He knew it was mine yet he left it! I suppose a winter-long bivy had done it no good.

Wait a minute, I didn't see that this was supposed to be funny!
Eric Beck

Sport climber
Bishop, California
Mar 6, 2009 - 01:53pm PT
From one who will remain nameless:

"The jams are good.
The protection is good.
I feel strong.
I'm coming down".
luggi

Trad climber
Mar 6, 2009 - 06:25pm PT
Jail is not where I wish to spend the weekend meeting "new friends"
The act of getting Bail is Bailing...no...

pip the dog

Mountain climber
planet dogboy
Mar 7, 2009 - 06:40am PT
Reilly,

loved your "The Gud Boot" post. Exquisite.

though i still won't admit to doing essentially the same...
(yet i might 'guess' that sportiva spantiks are not nearly so seaworthy)

^,,^
Wade Icey

Trad climber
www.alohashirtrescue.com
Mar 21, 2009 - 01:04pm PT
because aid climbing f*#ks up my free climbing Head.

(or vice versa)
Fletcher

Trad climber
here to eternity
Mar 21, 2009 - 01:10pm PT
That boot story is great, Reilly... it's more than great, it's GUD!

Eric
Fletcher

Trad climber
here to eternity
Mar 21, 2009 - 01:17pm PT
"Lois just posted to my thread... I gotta go reply!"
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Mar 21, 2009 - 01:45pm PT
It happened on Half Dome to a friend of mine. Sh^t upon from great heights.
DrDeeg

Mountain climber
Mammoth Lakes, CA
May 9, 2009 - 02:03am PT
In the summers of '66/'67, Chuck Pratt kept a notebook of excuses for failing on climbs. Notables I recall were "an overdose of Vitamin E" and "a vague but debilitating illness that is probably psychosomatic but real nevertheless."

Gerughty & I went one day to do North Buttress of Middle. We hiked to the base of the climb to discover that Gerughty had forgotten his swami belt, so we bailed. Back in Camp 4 we duly reported to Pratt, as that summer's protocol required.

He quizzed us, "When was the swami belt invented?" I guessed maybe '60 or '61. Pratt thought Roper had started using one in '57, "But," he went on, a bit disgusted, "the point is that people climbed in Yosemite for a hundred years by just tying into the end of the rope."

If Pratt's Notebook could be found, it should be in the Museum.
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
May 9, 2009 - 02:40am PT
best one I heard in a long time, last summer:

"I don't want to make a decision that a 22-year old would make"

and we didn't!
nature

climber
Tucson, AZ
May 14, 2010 - 04:43pm PT
Roxxy ran out of batteries.

http://www.newlaunches.com/archives/first_ever_interactive_sex_robot_called_roxxxy_could_make_girlfriends_obsolete_.php
Tea

Trad climber
Behind the Zion Curtain
May 14, 2010 - 04:44pm PT
"But I sent anyway, triple bypass, weed induced panic attack be damned....."

Classic.
rgold

Trad climber
Poughkeepsie, NY
May 14, 2010 - 08:58pm PT
So one fine winter day, I head off to solo Easy Overhang in the Gunks. Even covered with snow, its about as easy as a near-vertical climb can be. Standing on a snow bank, I grab a sizable if snowy hand-hold, step out left on a smear, and bring my right foot up to a...zzzzzip! My left foot, wet with snow, blows off the smear, pivoting me to the side. My right foot, barely off the ground, reconnects with the snow bank but immediately skids out from under me, and my hand pops off the snow-covered hold. Just like that, I'm lying in the snow bank, staring up at the snow-covered ledges---the as yet untrodden snow-covered ledges---of Easy O.

And just like that, I realize that the day is meant for hiking. Emptying the snow from my pant legs, I head off on the trail.

[Excuse for bailing: falling on a free solo attempt the instant all four limbs are off the ground.]
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