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mojede
Trad climber
Butte, America
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Dec 13, 2006 - 03:08pm PT
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As a father of two, I'm almost ashamed to write this:
What's the BEST thing about being a pedophile?
Their little hands make my dick look SO damn big!
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5150
Trad climber
JOSHUA TREE
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Dec 13, 2006 - 03:23pm PT
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WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE DISHWASHER'S NOT WORKING?
KICK HER ASS!!!
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atchafalaya
Trad climber
California
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Dec 13, 2006 - 07:45pm PT
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Q. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A. Nothing, you done told her twice already.
Sometimes, i wish I had never heard some jokes, I cant forget them...
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esoteric1
Trad climber
san dieco, ca
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Dec 13, 2006 - 08:24pm PT
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so, a kid and his dad are in an airplane and its going down.
the "attendant" gets on the horn and tells everyone..."the plane is too heavy, and we will go down if we dont lighten the load a little bit, but we are gona do this fair, alphebeticly, so, we will start out with african americans...please head to the nearest exit" the little boy tells his dad, "dad, we are african americans!" his dad says "no son...not now"
still too heavy the "attendant" gets back on the horn...."ladies and gentlemen, we are still too heavy, will all the blacks please head to your nearest exit. once again the boy tells his dad, "dad, we are black" "not now son" he tells him.
"COLOREDS!" yells the "attendant" head to the nearest exit...
the boy screams "dad!" "NO SON! we`re NIGGERS today" warns his father, "we`re going after the mexicnans"
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the flap
climber
Arizona
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Dec 14, 2006 - 12:19am PT
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What's small, bloody, and wrapped in fur?
A dead baby in a Chewbacca costume...
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Levy
Big Wall climber
So Cal
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Dec 14, 2006 - 01:32am PT
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I know these jokes are wrong. I know they're not very PC but with that in mind;
Q: Did you hear about the Blonde woman who went on a weekend fishing trip with 5 guys?
A: She came back with a red snapper & a box full of crabs.
Q; What's the first thing a woman should do after getting out of the battered woman's shelter?
A: The dishes & laundry if she knows what's good for her.
Q: How do they celebrate Halloween in the backwoods trailer park?
A: Pump-kin!
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climbingtrash
Trad climber
Virgin, Utah
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Dec 14, 2006 - 08:02am PT
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Q: Did you ever blow bubbles when you were a kid?
'cause he's in town and looking for you.
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Why is your girlfriend like kentucky fried chicken?
Once you're done with the breasts...all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
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How do you get a mexican pregnant?
C#m in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.(read this one on a port-a-shiter wall.)
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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 14, 2006 - 12:00pm PT
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OK - Time to get serious for a sec...
I am troubled by such liberal use of the N word in this thread. It makes me feel uneasy.
I used it all the time against my black friends when I was a kid, but that was a very long time ago.
They called me things like peckerwood and honky, and all was well in the world.
But I became very niggardly with my use of the word in subsequent years.
I am one of the least PC people in the world, yet I really do knott like this word!
For those of you who do, there's a good possibility that you are all a bunch of racist...
NIGGERS!!!
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G_Gnome
Boulder climber
Sick Midget Land
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Dec 14, 2006 - 02:03pm PT
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So a man walks into a bar carrying an alligator. He sits down at the bar and sits his alligator on the bar in front of him. He asks the crowd if they will buy him a drink if he puts his dick in the alligator's mouth and all agree that would be interesting to watch. So he whacks the alligator on the top of the head and it's mouth opens, he puts his dick in and the alligator's mouth slams shut. A minute later the man whacks the alligator on the top of the head again and it opens it's mouth, the man takes his dick out and enjoys his drink. A while later the man asks the bar if anyone else would like to try? In the back of the bar a blond steps forward and says she would, but asks ....
Do you have to hit me in the head?!
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KP Ariza
climber
SCC
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Dec 14, 2006 - 05:11pm PT
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Don't know about tasteless but they made me laugh-
1)What's the worst thing about being a rollerblader?
2)How do blondes like there eggs in the morning?
1)Telling your parents you're gay-
2)Fertilized-
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Slider_up
Ice climber
Irvine, CA
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Dec 14, 2006 - 05:59pm PT
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How do get a fag to f*#k a woman?
Stick a bunch of sh#t in her pussy!
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Erik
Ice climber
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Dec 14, 2006 - 06:46pm PT
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It's not real nudity!
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mrtropy
Trad climber
Nor Cal
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Dec 14, 2006 - 11:18pm PT
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What's long and hard on a black man?
Get your mind out of the gutter!
The third grade.
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SofaKingM0ney
Boulder climber
Los Angeles , ca
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Dec 15, 2006 - 12:10am PT
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1. A man and a little girl are walking through the woods late one night . Its raining , and there is thunder and lightning . Looking around the little girl says " I'm scared " . The man looks at her and says " You think you're scared ? I have to walk out of here alone ! " .
2. What is the best part of f*#king an 11 year old in the shower ?
With her hair wet , she looks 9 .
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goatboy smellz
climber
boulder county
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Dec 15, 2006 - 06:52pm PT
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This thread is a bit misogynic so here's one for the female lurkers.
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can’t be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you’re definitely not the right man for this job then."
So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn’t pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I’m not the right man for the job."
"No," the CIA man replied, "You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.
The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"
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Chaz
Trad climber
So. Cal.
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Dec 15, 2006 - 07:11pm PT
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The Police K-9 guys are switching over from German Shepards to Coon Hounds.
(locker style time waster)
Because the Germans aren't the people causing problems lately.
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Gene
climber
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Dec 15, 2006 - 08:00pm PT
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A black and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
What are the three things you cannot give a black man?
1) A fat lip.
2) A black eye.
3) A job.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What were the last words of the Challenger astronuat to her husband?
Honey, you feed the dog. I'll feed the fish.
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goatboy smellz
climber
boulder county
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Jan 23, 2007 - 11:06pm PT
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A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"
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