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The Larry
climber
Moab, UT
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Nov 18, 2014 - 09:54am PT
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My last three.
Moons over my hamster
Up in smoke
Cockblocker
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Nov 18, 2014 - 09:55am PT
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wow, I might be the only person posting here regularly that has actually done Bitch Muscle, I must say I was puzzled by the name's origin.
Anal Tongue Darts
Are You Hard Enough?
Betty Does Yosemite
Bitch's Galore
Bitch's Terror
Blueballed
A Boy and His Knob
Breast Fest
Bunghole of the Universe
Chingando
Conquest of the Stud Monkey
Deep Throat
Deflowered
Defoliation
Dick Wrenching Classic
Dirty Dancing
Doggie Deviations
Doggie Diversions
Doggie Submission
Dome Polishers
Dynamo Hum
Feminine Protection
Fly-Girls
Foaming at the Crotch
Gang Bang
Golden Shower
Hand Job
Hershey Highway
Hooter Alert
Hung Like a Hamster
Jack the Zipper
Just Do Me
Knob Hill Rapist
Lap Lobster
Little Girl's Route
Love Missle F1-11
Moan Fest
Movin' Like a Stud
Mud Shark
Mudflaps
No Love-Chump Sucker
Olga's Trick
P.M.S.
Pimper's Paradise
Pink Banana
Pink Torpedo
Pocket Pussy
Pussy Paws (Pop Goes the Weasel)
The Premature Ejaculation
Proud Snapper
Pussy Licked
Pussy Wipped
Rectum Ranch
Sanitary Napkin
Season of the Bitch
Sex at Six (Tidbit)
Sex Drive
Sex Farm
Shaft of the Penetrator
Sherrie's Crack
Siberian Swarm Screw
Simian Sex
Slap that Bitch
Sloppy Seconds
Snatch Power
Spank Your Monkey
Squeeze-n-Tease
Stretch Mark
Stroke (My Erect Ear Tuffs)
Tongue and Groove
Too Big for Her Top
Uppity Women
Way Homo Sperm Burpers from Fresno
Winterlewd
Yeast Infection
some from Yosemite Valley... there are some newer climb names not included, yet... can't claim to have any real eye for this sort of thing though. This is out of 2200 named climbs, and most of the list doesn't really seem that bad... IMHO, YMMV
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kev
climber
A pile of dirt.
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Nov 18, 2014 - 10:10am PT
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Larry,
Is Cockblocker a squeeze?
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Nov 18, 2014 - 10:15am PT
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Spanked. You should all be spanked, you monkeys.
Except for Jingy. :0)
*Disgusting!*
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wallyvirginia
Trad climber
Stockholm, Sweden
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Nov 18, 2014 - 10:18am PT
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I'm with spider on this one. And you guys are d#@&%ebags for hating on him.
Sounds like the kind of sh#t I get for being a vegetarian on construction sites.
Everybody's shaking their heads at me, when in reality, I'm the only one who gives a sh#t and trying to make the world a better place.
And what the f*#k has sexual preference got to do with anything?
Morons!
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The Larry
climber
Moab, UT
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Nov 18, 2014 - 10:21am PT
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kev
climber
A pile of dirt.
Nov 18, 2014 - 10:10am PT
Larry,
Is Cockblocker a squeeze?
No sqeeze. Lots of gastoning.
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kev
climber
A pile of dirt.
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Nov 18, 2014 - 10:31am PT
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This thread keeps getting better and better!
Monkeys spanking monkeys!
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Tvash
climber
Seattle
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Nov 18, 2014 - 10:56am PT
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"Sounds like the kind of sh#t I get for being a vegetarian on construction sites.
Everybody's shaking their heads at me, when in reality, I'm the only one who gives a sh#t and trying to make the world a better place."
Look at the bright side:
A) They're not kicking your ass and
B) at least you're not a vegan
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steelmnkey
climber
Vision man...ya gotta have vision...
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Nov 18, 2014 - 10:59am PT
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Ed, you forgot CS Concerto, partner route for Nutcracker Sweet as I recall the story goes. Didn't know what the CS stood for when I did the route, but found out a few years later.
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kev
climber
A pile of dirt.
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Nov 18, 2014 - 11:00am PT
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Tvash, I don't think Wally was being serious - I read it as comical sarcasm.
And who knows maybe he was serious and we'll have to fly over and kick his veggie ass...
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kev
climber
A pile of dirt.
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Nov 18, 2014 - 11:01am PT
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Again I still think this is a SNAT (sensitive new age troll)
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Cragar
climber
MSLA - MT
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Nov 18, 2014 - 11:03am PT
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Helped put up/bolt a route in the Emigrant area of the Sierra and we called it Feminine Protection - 60+ feet 5.11. It is consistent in moves for the grade, really good if my memory serves me right? We hadn't done much bolting and got carried away a bit and placed like 6 bolts or something; it ended up being basically a bolt near every hardish move. Plus, from afar the micro formation resembled a maxi-pad. Years later I see it called Mousetrap in the guide. I always figured it was the proximity to Berkeley and the hyper-PC 'tude of the early to mid-90s that changed the name? Who really cares anyway..
In MT, I combined portions of a couple routes to 'establish' a different 'line'. I called it Stroked by a Priest. The route it finished on was called Slapped by a Nun(see what I am gettin at). Funny, no problem with the slapped name but they left the stroked route outa the guide,..90's PC shitaqua!!
However, the one that did make the guide was called Redurtnilana. It is just a couple words spelled backwards. It was located next to a chossy route we named after our senator, Conrad Burns. The guidebook notes that the route Redurtnilana, when read backwards refers to the prior route. Sh#tBird Press didn't catch it and folks laughed. BFD.
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Tvash
climber
Seattle
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Nov 18, 2014 - 11:07am PT
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Treat me gently. I just learned last night that I'm sex positive.
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Nov 18, 2014 - 11:24am PT
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CS Concerto is a sort of inside joke, so inside that even the steelmnkey had to be clued in!
There are other double entendres that I didn't include since they only reflect on my vivid imagination... even some that I did include might not have been by others..
I'll try to remember to look at the updated route list tonight, Brian and Norm route names are distinguishable all unto themselves...
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Fat Dad
Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
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Nov 18, 2014 - 11:47am PT
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Again folks, since some of you are misinterpreting the gist of this thread, Spider was talking about "crass sexism", not mere sexual references. That seems obvious but clearly not to many of you. For example, all the Valley climbs someone posted up thread, not what he was talking about based on my reading of his post. Same thing with the route someone mentioned, "Feminine Protection". However, the poorly named "Black Chicks in Heat" at the ORG probably hits the nail on the head (in addition to being just downright offensive).
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kev
climber
A pile of dirt.
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Nov 18, 2014 - 12:04pm PT
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Ah I remember the route name: "Special Sauce"
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looking sketchy there...
Social climber
Lassitude 33
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Nov 18, 2014 - 01:56pm PT
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Lyrics to My Pink Half Of The Drainpipe
[Which route name and lyrics have nothing to do with Crass Sexism; not there is anything wrong with that]
You talking to me across the fence
Of common sense
How your tomato plant will win a prize,
won't that be nice,
And by the way, how's your wife?
Your holidays were spent in Spain
You went by plane
You'll go again
Have you seen me bullfight poster on the wall?
Do you know the happy memory it recalls?
Here's a photograph of me and my son, Ted
That's me cousin with his hanky on his head!
We booked in at our hotel just after two
And met a family from Bradford that we knew
Oooh, I love that melody-ah! Burp!
My pink half of the drainpipe
Separates next door from me
My pink half of the drainpipe
Oh, Mama!
Belongs to me
Rodney's main saxaphone solo, as promised
My pink half of the drainpipe
Semidetaches us
My pink half of the drainpipe
Oh, Mama!
Belongs to moi
I have a sister in Toronto who's a nurse
And I've had a bit of bother laying turf
It's life, not books, that taught me all I've learned
Whoops, nip in the oven my rice pudding's getting burnt!
Have you seen the new attachment on me drill?
I must have the cat put down, ‘cause he's ill
Hey, neighbour!
My pink half of the drainpipe
I may paint it blue
My pink half of the drainpipe
Keeps me safe from
you!
I'm a wobbly jelly, you're a pink blancmange
I'm a sherry trifle, you're a chocolate sponge
Your dad wears a paper hat, mine inflates balloons
Whoops! Boodly boop! Pop! Here comes a spoon!
My pink half of the drainpipe
Separates me from the incredibly fascinating story of your life and every day to day event in all it's minute and tedious attention to detail... And was it a Thursday or a Wednesday? Or, oh, no, it wasn't though. Oh, who cares anyway because I do not
So Norman, if you're normal, I intend to
be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen, incessant quotations from "Now We Are
Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant, poisoned, electric head.
Of course, such a great song deserved a route named after it.
See also: Bonzo Dog Band a route at Josh.
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steelmnkey
climber
Vision man...ya gotta have vision...
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Nov 18, 2014 - 04:43pm PT
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Ha! I was just a wee climber back then, and it was only my second trip to the Valley (really my first as my first was a weekend two-day wall where I never even saw the Lodge, Ahwahnee, or Curry).
Guidebook said CS...whaddid we know. We pretty much did it because we were standing there and it seemed like the next best thing after eyeballing the atrocious conga line on Nutcracker. In any case, who'd have thunk it meant THAT! Only heard about the meaning and the relationship to Nutcracker by happenstance a couple years later. Took me 10 years to come back and find Nutcracker lonely enough to bother with.
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