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Matt
Trad climber
places you shouldn't talk about in polite company
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good thing my wife never pulls that crap on me...
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Jerry Dodrill
climber
Bodega, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 2, 2006 - 04:45pm PT
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Yes. It is quite difficult for guys to conceive, but we're willing to do our part. =)
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guyman
Trad climber
Moorpark, CA.
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My wife likes it when I go climbing, just as long as the chores are done.
I do go climbing with the ladies and they like it cause I don't hit on em. (I have my hands full at home) I like it cause good climbing partners are so very hard to find.
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mooser
Trad climber
seattle
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I took my wife-to-be to Woodson for our first date (May, '79). Left her on top of "Squawks" (for those who know the area) for about 20 minutes in order to buy some purportedly cheap gear from Ray Olson. Then, after a day of bouldering, my old VW bug wouldn't start where I'd parked it. We eventually got it running, and then decided to catch a movie (to make it more like a "date" for her benefit), so we saw "Deer Hunter" (we didn't know!!). Very uplifting--and all perfect setups for the demise of a relationship that hadn't really even begun.
Later on in our dating life, I led her up a 5.4 on Tahquitz. About 3/4 of the way up, I got off route, and went off on some long (I mean Loooooong) 5.9ish runout. I always subscribed to the idea that--because so much of climbing is mental--if you don't tell the person following what the rating is, they'll still think it's (in this case) 5.4, and thus be able to cruise through it. Kind of like when (as a climbing newbie) I used to cruise "Pinched Rib" at JT when my mind (and the guides) said it was 5.7. I got to a ledge, set up a belay, and yelled down signals to my out of sight (and almost out of sound from the wind) girlfriend (AKA "The Lizard"), and she began following the pitch. At about the halfway point, I heard her yell something about how she wasn't sure what to do and that..."Faaaaaaaalllllliiiing!!!!!" My hip belay held her roughly 40 foot swing across a blank face, until the Lizard--in her swami--slammed into a dead tree sticking out from the rock.
One way or another, she made it back up to me (I may have assisted just a bit, as her knuckles were a bloody mess), and we finished some climb--not the one we started. On April 5, 1980, we got married, and we are now in our 27th year. She's a stud, and a really good sport, but the closest we've been to doing a route on Tahquitz since '79 is having a PowerBar on top of Lunch Rock. Our theory, as we reflect on this episode, is that couples do all kinds of things with (for) each other during the courting phase that may not necessarily last beyond that. Fortunately for me, she is way supportive of my climbing, and she and I do a lot of kayaking together.
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TradIsGood
Trad climber
Gunks end of country
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OK. I have climbed with mostly female partners. Never hit on any of them. Is that really allowed?
Seems pretty stupid. Good climbing partners are rare enough.
I have observed the bf-gf insensitive stuff a couple times. Only once where the guf was crying. Never when the man was.
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Jerry Dodrill
climber
Bodega, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 2, 2006 - 08:43pm PT
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Wow mooser. Nice recovery. You must have laid on some serious charm to pull out of that one. Congrats on 27 years.
Matt, looks like those turtles are getting some action (in photo above).
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aldude
climber
Monument Manor
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Gals, I see your point - but, " How ya gonna keep em down on the farm after they've seen Pareee! "
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Chicken Skinner
Trad climber
Yosemite
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As a guide there have been quite a few times when I have seen it coming. When feasible on a longer route I have belayed them seperately rather than simultaneously to ease the tensions. While in classes I have seperated them and tried to put them with someone else more compatible and said they will learn more if they climb with lots of different people because everyone can teach you something about climbing. There is nothing worse than teaching a class with a squabbling couple. It always seemed to work. There were a few times on longer routes where I did not have a choice and am not sure how those relationships fared. I do remember one time when my wife was screaming at me when she was in a chimney. Thinking she was in trouble I rapped down to where I could see her giving me the bird both vocally and physically. We are still together but, I don't bring her on multi-pitch crack routes anymore. She wants to do a wall, I can't figure out why.
Ken
Ken
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blackbird
Trad climber
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hehe! Good one Jerry! I realized the gaffe after I hit "send"... At least you (and I and who knows how many others!) got a good laugh out of it!
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TradIsGood
Trad climber
Gunks end of country
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blackbird gaffes again :-)
You hit "Post this Reply".
But the original gaffe was really funny.
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blackbird
Trad climber
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blackbird gaffes again
hehehehe!!! Two in one thread... At least I'm good at SOMETHING!!!
ROTFL!!
BB
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curlie
Trad climber
SLO, CA
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I get hit on while climbing -- but only from my married friends! (Guyman being the notable exception!). Flirting's just fine and is most certainly "allowed". Jeez, has "women's lib" castrated all of you?
Ok, in all seriousness, I'm not one to start screaming at another person over a climbing route, I think that's pretty silly. I mean, if I'm failing on a climb, it's pretty much my fault. And some of the best climbing I've ever done has been with a boyfriend. There is something truly magical about sharing a great climb with someone you care about. Wouldn't trade those experiences for the world.
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blackbird
Trad climber
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I agree, curlie. There is something magical about a positive climbing experience, but I wouldn't limit it to being with a bf. I, too, have shared some wonderful time on routes with significant others, but at the same time, I've had some pretty crappy experiences as well, and they don't all center around falling... Wish they did, but they didn't.
As for flirting while climbing, there's not a darned thing wrong with it, and it certainly does feed the ego, but there's also a point where it is unwelcomed, especially under certain circumstances, and those circumstances can cover a wide array of situations... Simply put, as long as both parties are ok with it, then flirting's ok and even, to a point, welcomed. If that's not the case, then please, just climb! AS has already been stated many times, good climbing partners are hard to come by, and once found, as rare and good as gold. My best and most favorite climbing partner is involved in a very long term relationship. I'm friends with both of them. There's a certain level of comfort there that allows me to push my limits climbing that simply isn't there when other elements are present...
My personal opinion worth exactly what you paid for it and based upon my experiences thus far. I know that folks may not agree, but hey, as long as we can all agree to disagree then that's what makes the world go 'round, right?
BB
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Jerry Dodrill
climber
Bodega, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 3, 2006 - 01:47pm PT
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"I'm friends with both of them." -a key point, and important for climbing with folks who are "taken." Builds trust and reassurance.
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curlie
Trad climber
SLO, CA
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Not falling, failing (with an "I"). I may still fail on a climb without falling, related but not quite the same. I guess you always have a choice, nobody's forced you into doing anything, so I don't like it when people blame the other for their own failures. Even if the other person makes a bad decision, you went along with that decision, so..... Anyway, but that's mostly semantics.
"There's a certain level of comfort there that allows me to push my limits climbing that simply isn't there when other elements are present... "
Very interesting. I too find that my best partners inspire me and allow me to push my climbing more than "regular" partners, but it seems to be independent of whether I'm dating them or not. I've experienced that with partners I've dated and partners I haven't dated. Actually, maybe it's the reverse for me, I think it is a bit stronger with the ones that I've dated....and that's true for both while I've been dating them and post-dating climbing.
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curlie
Trad climber
SLO, CA
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What a miscowculation!
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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an adult far side
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Jerry Dodrill
climber
Bodega, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 4, 2006 - 01:08pm PT
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Misconceptions occur at many levels.
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blackbird
Trad climber
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Oh BROTHER. UGH.
sicksicksick ...hehe...!
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