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wayne w
Trad climber
the nw
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Mar 28, 2014 - 05:09am PT
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When I was 19 I had two and 1/4 inches of femur removed from the leg Polio affected to the greatest extent, and an 18 inch long rod inserted through my hip. The end of the rod was sticking out of the hip, but under the skin, by perhaps an inch for the next year and a half. This procedure was made necessary because my left leg had the growth centers removed when I was 12, so that the right leg could catch up. It was 3 inches shorter at the time. My orthodpods calculations were just a bit off, and the right leg, instead of growing even with the left, grew a full two inches longer. After the surgery I was hooked up to a hemo vac for 10 days, with my leg packed in ice most of the time. The day they put me in a body cast I tried to poop sort of propped up over a toilet, but no dice. Lots of morphine and a surgical procedure like that one will do that. The next day I finally managed to drop something that resembled a brick, and was easily as hard as one, into a bedpan.
Hope that you are feeling better soon, Anita.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Mar 28, 2014 - 07:09am PT
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Anita. I take it you had your knee fixed... Hope it all goes well and you come back twice as strong:) I take it that hospital boredom combined with the pain meds =TMI posts :)
If you want to start a real shitstorm arround here tell us what your total out of pocket ends up being for the surgery and rehab then stand back and listen to the shitstorm while all the stupid mericans rant about how bad socialized health care is......
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Mar 28, 2014 - 08:54am PT
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i don't know,
that picture of anita's knee all jacked up,
i'm sorry about that, girl.
you are burly and up for the task, apparently.
that picture, though,
i'd say is NEI, not enough information,
it's like the end of pitch but you just
can't see the anchor and you have to
imagine it,
and then i aim toward my imagination
which is loosely adhered to reality's mountain
so it comes screaming down, right at me,
and igh yell, "IMAGINATION" as i duck out of the
way and it pummels my belayer right in
her lap, luckily my imagination, that day
was light and fluffy and she didn't scream
at the impact, she just giggled.
anita you can cyber-slap me, i deserve it
for this is borderline harrassment
chris you can can me i'll go quietly away
if i've tramped on the border of legitimate conduct,
watch out!
there i go.
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 28, 2014 - 08:57am PT
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wayne: so how did it all work out in the end? was it corrected?
tradman: it's my tibia. I had a double osteotomy which means they went in and broke it in 2 places and inserted all these pins which are attached to an external fixator which I adjust daily. I'm 1 week post-op and no poops in a couple days :(
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 28, 2014 - 09:03am PT
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Nowegian: how is this harassment? if you want to know, I will tel.. might do me some good to stop pretending it isn't there. you know how to reach me, if you'd like more details and bloody stapled scar pictures. yuck. this leg is a total write off. even if this correction will allow me to wear high heels, I would never want to show my bare leg ever again, unless I'm surrounded by a bunch of crusty old climbers.
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pyro
Big Wall climber
Calabasas
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Mar 28, 2014 - 09:05am PT
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all i can say to help is Castor oil
Heal up sexy anita!
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Mar 28, 2014 - 09:06am PT
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Us crusty old climbers like chicks with scars:) hope your poop comes out ok today;)
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speelyei
Trad climber
Mohave County Arizona
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Mar 28, 2014 - 10:48am PT
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There's an unfunny side to poops, too.
I recently quit my new job as a City Cop after less than two years with the department.
I can't believe how many residences have poop in their house, on the floor, carpet, and walls... Animal and human. And you can't tell by the location, exterior, or socio-economic bracket of the owners. Granted, you see it most often in mental health scenarios, but there's plenty of people... families, wading around in sh#t everyday.
Also, scared, drunk, and stoned people crap themselves on a pretty regular basis. It's not pleasant, cleaning some drunks diarrhea out of your patrol car, 3 hours into a 12 hour shift.
Don't even get me started death investigations, or CPS assists. It's too depressing for an overall light thread.
So I contact this transient for a welfare check. And Im telling him about available services and the location of the mission, and that sweet honey smell hits me. I ask dude "hey, do we need to get you to the bathroom?" And he says no. So we're waiting for fire to respond and check his health situation, and the smell is getting worse, and I say "hey, no offense, but did you just crap yourself?" And he says no...
Well, you can see where this is going, just like the old joke...
The Fire guys get there and determine his pants are full (and the guy has hep c), and I say "hey, you told me you didn't have an accident!" And he says "I thought you meant today!".
Dude, I about died laughing.
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HighTraverse
Trad climber
Bay Area
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Mar 28, 2014 - 10:55am PT
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^^^^^^
Definitely TMI before before coffee and breakfast!
high heels around Crusty Old Climbers
Now what's wrong with that picture?
NADA
signed
COC
PS
seriously too bad about all the knee work. 'long as yer spindles work agin
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Sanskara
climber
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Mar 28, 2014 - 11:53am PT
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I checked this post for the first of three times so far today while taking my morning poop...
Those emergency stories are really gross. I can't eat and watch tv in the event they might flash some kinda nasty emergency missing limb type sh#t across the screen. Just the images of the inside of a hospital make me come to an abrupt halt while eating. I could nerve work in the medical field in any way shape or form. I'd be f*#ked if I ever end up in hospital because I could never eat. Not to mention eating hospital food. Not gonna happen unless you knock me the f*#k out and give it to me intravenously.
I pissed myself once as a teenager peaking on like 10 hits of LSD. I was sitting in my bedroom all by myself on this sweet limeish green velvet couch watching as the ceiling became the infinite as I often did. I remember sensing this warm feeling and that it felt really really good! I remember nothing more but that I did nothing and just continued starring at the ceiling not really knowing what it was? Sometime the next day I don't remember exactly when maybe the next week I noticed the couch was either wet or smelled like piss. At that moment I put the pieces together and realized I had pissed myself while peaking and hadn't known it at the time. Good times!
I have another about a friend visiting me in NYC, a bunch of late nights and a bumpy ride to work. It involves actual poop and is actually really funny. I'll save it for later.
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speelyei
Trad climber
Mohave County Arizona
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Mar 28, 2014 - 11:53am PT
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I can imagine.
I responded to multiple calls at a local motel, where folks would get a Federal check, prepay a room, and then go on a month long bender. Depressing, disgusting, and exactly as you described.
I used to avoid motels cause I was cheapskate dirt surfer.
Now I avoid them due to really negative associations!
Do you still do EMS work?
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Sanskara
climber
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Mar 28, 2014 - 12:09pm PT
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I also avoid motels and even hotels for that exact reasons stated above. Rich people also go on benders and have nasty habits so even fancy hotels are not safe imop.
Also bed bugs and hookers. Both the well to and poor have been know to mingling with both.
I much prefer to just sleep in my car. Always goes over well on climbing trips with partners ne partners as they figure this out about me. Between getting the nasties from knowing what really happens in hotels and then not wanting to eat out for much the same reason plus being vegan I can be a real pain in the ass!
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 28, 2014 - 12:11pm PT
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mmm hospital food
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Mar 28, 2014 - 12:12pm PT
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You're friggen gnarley Anita. But I can hardly believe you did that to wear high heels...
I've got one leg 28mm shorter than the other, so I'm just curious as to why? No worries either way though. I think the shorter left leg helped me surf goofy foot. Lower center of gravity.
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 28, 2014 - 12:13pm PT
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I know you want more...
I never really pooped myself on drugs or anything, but I've come close to peeing myself because I was too lazy to go pee and having too much fun.
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 28, 2014 - 12:21pm PT
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I have a 4.5cm difference and my ankle was all crooked and causing me a lot of arthritic pain and no flexion, so hiking up/down steep trails that were not switch-backed was very difficult. on the downhill I'd always roll out. plus I had to put lifts in my shoes which threw me off balance.
if all goes well, this procedure will only bring positives.
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Sanskara
climber
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Mar 28, 2014 - 12:35pm PT
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Just looking at pics of that food is ruining my morning coffee for real. God forbid I was eating I would has gotten sick as I scrolled down the screen. For real I am not exaggerating or bit.
If I was a wee bit closer I would be happy to bring a fellow ice climber three square edible meals a day. I know when I have been in the hospital I eat one meal a day. The one I can get mom to bring me ;)
Even then I have a bitch of a time eating just being in a hospital. I don't care much for schools or public building of any sort all that much either. Something about hallways with repedative matching doors and flourecent lights gives me the creeps!
That climbing poop story was great. I think most of us that climb a lot have more than one of those stories in the log, the rope part is very very scary being I am payed up injures due to ground fall the result of a faulty device or negligent belayer? I know I have so many Climbing retaliated poop stories I have forgot most of them as it has just become common practice. Even my regular climbing partners have become used to my nasty poop habits.
Having a bowel that requires I empty it at least 3 times before noon every day and alpine starts has sadly made a mess many a place I felt really really bad about!
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Mar 28, 2014 - 12:43pm PT
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Whoa Anita, Bionic Woman! Heal up Fast.
I spend a lot of time at sea, which really affects having BMs, making it seem like you're going to poop a rock hard watermelon; the only thing I have ever found that works is Miralax. It is a powder you stick in any beverage, hot or cold, and it really has no texture or flavor and works beautifully. I discovered it when I was on chemo and it was a miracle worker.
Good luck!
Susan
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