Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
Klimmer
Mountain climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 14, 2013 - 01:52pm PT
|
Here is that study ...
Teaching Maybe Hazardous to Your Marriage
http://personal.lse.ac.uk/kanazawa/pdfs/EHB2000a.pdf
Mine didn't end for these reasons. Ended because of spiritual reasons. We were no longer "Equally Yoked." She certainly doesn't believe like I do. She thinks divorce is allowable. But she will do what she will do. Non believers can often leave believers. But HaShem has made a way for the believer to recover if they chose to do so. 1 Corinthians 7.
I'm not really looking for marriage advice, just what do you think about age gaps? Interesting discussion to be sure.
I can definitely relate to the study above. When your marriage goes South for whatever reason, if your job surrounds you with beauty then you're gonna want a younger wife. And why not? I still want to climb, ski, paraglide, etc etc. I want a woman who hasn't given up. I want a partner. I want a woman who's excited to be with me. I enjoy showing her new things. I enjoy talking to younger women. I know their interests, I hear it everyday. Teaching keeps you young. You have to relate to what students are interested in.
I'm always showing students new things and introducing them to new music. Through out the school year they get a plethora of great music through Pandora from me. I have turned many students onto Prog Rock and other genres.
I'm not interested in 18 year old HS women. I do like College age woman. I also want to have the chance to have more children. I feel my family was ripped apart by divorce. Not what I ever expected to happen. I never wanted that. It was forced onto me. Thank you no fault divorce! (Sarcasm)
I definitely think May-December marriages can work. It depends on the couple. Take it case by case.
Perhaps some people are so negative about it because they feel threatened by it for some reason?
|
|
ncrockclimber
climber
The Desert Oven
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 02:11pm PT
|
So you are twenty five years older than her..
You have not known her long..
She looks you in the eyes when she talks to you..
and you've done some fun activities in group settings..
and you want to marry her...../
+1
Forget about the age issue. The elephant in the room is that you are fresh out of one bad relationship and rushing as fast as you can into another. IMHO it takes at least a year or two to REALLY know someone. Lust / infatuation can cloud the judgement of even the most rational person. Seriously, slow down.
|
|
Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 02:27pm PT
|
I think it's a bad idea.
More the lack of time single rather than the age difference, but the latter is worth pause as well.
I've jumped into relationships too soon after a breakup and I'm usually thinking with the wrong head.
Best of luck.
|
|
jgill
Boulder climber
Colorado
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 02:32pm PT
|
From my perspective (76), I would wait a little longer to be sure you are out of that danger zone of a recent separation, then if it still feels right for both of you, go for it. Pay no attention to SLR; you have at least 20 wonderful years ahead for you both. You can't let the future be held hostage to the past.
Edit: apologies to SLR. His comment seemed to me excessively negative, but it certainly was as valid as mine.
|
|
doughnutnational
Gym climber
its nice here in the spring
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 02:33pm PT
|
Hey Klimmer if you had a 26 yo old daughter what would you tell her if she wanted to marry a 51 year old man. I have one near that age and I'd advise her "hell no".
|
|
'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 02:35pm PT
|
Age is nothing but a number!
If you guys "get" each other, and enjoy each other's company, and things work out well for you, then why knott?
|
|
Deekaid
climber
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 02:37pm PT
|
with all due respect Mr John Gill legend sir, why not pay attention to SLR's opinion? it is just another viewpoint with which to make an informed decision
|
|
Klimmer
Mountain climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 14, 2013 - 03:15pm PT
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 11:33am PT
"Hey Klimmer if you had a 26 yo old daughter what would you tell her if she wanted to marry a 51 year old man. I have one near that age and I'd advise her "hell no"."
Lol. My 13 year old daughter wants to marry Johnny Depp (50yrs or so). She says He's Hot! I tell her so you want to marry your dad? Lol. She has been looking into May-Dec relationships and the ramifications. She obviously isn't serious, but its a long known truth, young woman like older men and older men like younger women. It's always been this way throughout history.
|
|
ncrockclimber
climber
The Desert Oven
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 03:30pm PT
|
but its a long known truth, young woman like older men and older men like younger women. It's always been this way throughout history.
Ummm... no. All of us old dudes want this to be true. Wouldn't it be cool if that college cheerleader or hot waitress was really into soft bellies and receding hairlines? Cool for old guys, but not reality. I don't think that the majority of women are looking for a guy 25 years older than them, and I never hear the 20-somthing women that I climb with talking about how they want to hook up with their dads' golf partners. Such is life.
Are there examples of successful relationships where the parters' ages differ by 20 years? Yes. I would posit that statistically, these are outliers and that most successful relationships are between partners of similar age.
I'll say it again; forget about the age thing. Slow down. You are fresh out of one relationship. Get over that, THEN think about finding the next Ms Klimmer.
Whatever you do, I wish you and your lady friend much happiness.
edit - LOL! Dave, you crack me up! Too true!
|
|
Bruce Morris
Social climber
Belmont, California
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 03:48pm PT
|
Depends on whether you want to have a successful, long-term "couples" relationship or a brief sexual fling with a hot younger woman, which is usually really, really good for about 3 months. However, the memories will last a life time and you will regret it later on if you don't take the plunge. Take a look at Genghis Khan: His favorite 'wife' was a 13 year old red-head he bought in a slave market in Kabul. But back then it was definitely a "Man's World".
|
|
jstan
climber
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 03:57pm PT
|
However, the memories will last a life time and you will regret it later on if you don't take the plunge.(BM)
It depends upon what you take to be most important. I faced a big delta once, did not take the plunge, and have only good memories. I did the right thing.
|
|
'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 04:16pm PT
|
Oh! In keeping with my "age is nothing but a number" sentiment - there is nothing wrong with December-May relationships, either. Some of the hottest women I have ever known have been older than me. {wink}
|
|
donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 04:24pm PT
|
Forget the age gap, I know a couple (both active and accomplished climbers) who are 30 years apart in age. He turns 75 in November. They seem more together as a couple than anyone else i know.
|
|
Port
Trad climber
San Diego
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 04:33pm PT
|
I'd slow your role. This is how people get divorced 3 times...
And you're a bit of a romantic, Klimmer. This chick has issues. You just don't know it yet.
|
|
Gary
Social climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 04:40pm PT
|
Here's another one for you, klimmer:
|
|
Karen
Trad climber
So Cal urban sprawl Hell
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 05:39pm PT
|
Back in my younger days I liked older guys BUT now looking at those same guys all old and creepy, younger guys win out.
locker, I don't know all the Beetles names, ah ... John, Ringo, ... hmmmm....
oh well, and I ain't no spring chick:-)
|
|
SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 05:42pm PT
|
Hey Klimmer
I hope whatever happens is that it works for you.
Best of luck.
|
|
Anastasia
climber
Home
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 05:50pm PT
|
Marriage...
My advice is... Go on a road trip that involves camping and interesting situations for at least a week. If you get along throughout that, yeah... It might work.
Life is a gamble, you can only win BIG if you risk BIG.
P.S.
I tried the older guy route too. It didn't work for me but it wasn't an age thing. We simply did not have a healthy relationship. My way and theirs simply didn't go together while for some strange reason Bill and I mesh without problems. If you can problem solve with them, have and be a true "partner." Don't look to deep, run with it...
|
|
go-B
climber
Hebrews 1:3
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 05:58pm PT
|
More like February- December...
If you got the cash she'll do the fling!
|
|
jgill
Boulder climber
Colorado
|
|
|
Oct 14, 2013 - 06:39pm PT
|
I liked older guys BUT now looking at those same guys all old and creepy (Karen)
Why that's just . . . unbelievable! Boy, you sure didn't make my day . . .
;>)
|
|
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!