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Farm boy
climber
Dewey, OK
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Bless you and yours, Amy.
I hail from Torrington originally, Wyoming was my back yard until a car wreck stopped me cold.
Prayers are being said. I pray this was an accident.
Farmer boy
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Ords
Mountain climber
Bridgton, ME
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Just a quick note to say I agree with Gookin about his YouTube idea and Andrew about reporters using this site for quotes after a family member has declined to comment directly. It frustrates me to think that one of the few things that is helping Molly right now may become unsafe for her due to a couple of individuals abusing the “freedom” of the Internet.
*
Molly – I love reading the stories about Pete on this site as I did not know him well. Your encouragement and openness for people to continue posting has shown your strength at this dark time and also your enduring love for Pete. I will remember how proud he always was of you.
This week Stefanie started Kindergarten, which has been great fun for all of us. But this week also brought news of my best friend being diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. She just survived a double lung transplant and had been given another chance at life I am struck by the senselessness of it all. And I think of Pete and the permanence of his death and it makes me cry. But I'm happy to think of you and Avery back in Lander soon with such a wonderful community all around you.
Thinking of you and wishing you more hopeful rainbows.
Laura
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sister
Social climber
nj
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thank you for continuing to write about Pete. I have so many friends here who know me but don't know Pete .... who have said they are so sorry and are praying for our families ... and have asked ..."What can they do"... I honestly just direct them to this site and say read some of the entries and try to live more like Pete did. FInd a passion, have priorities straight and live life to the fullest. Now, if I can stop crying every night ,,, I plan to do the same ... I give great advice and rarely take it. One would say that makes me very human.. all my love to Avery and Molly ...
Martha D
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Charlie Gray
Trad climber
Winter Park, Co
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Hi Molly and Avery,
I haven't had the energy to return to the site until now, but I have been thinking of you all - all three, of course - and try to steal away some moments when I can mourn - still. I am still so very sad for you Molly and Avery, just thinking of my son, Shane, too, of course, makes it tough.
I think, regarding your Aug. 28 post, that you are not at all the deranged widow, but rather thinking perfectly sober thoughts, the same ones we would all be thinking about the individual involved. While it is right to forgive, no one said they should not pay a higher price...the price of simple remembrance or simple remorse, while high, is not nearly high enough. It is not enough at all. Regardless of the price paid on behalf of the other individual we all know it doesn't change anything, and nothing will bring Pete back to this earth. But a higher price needs to be exacted. Only a higher, more tangible price begins to extract that which is just.
I can not tarry long here, for it draws so much energy and I have to save a bit for my work tonight.
I can tell you that I have said many a prayer whilst amongst the rocks lately, have thought much about Pete while standing on a belay or at the bottom of a crag.
Shane and I look very forward to coming up to visit with you when, I am not sure when that is, but when things are right for such a visit...Shane would love to meet Avery and he is a pure soul, an Indigo child if you will, and you will love meeting him...I look forward to visiting with you guys again, and miss all of you...
Topper, if you are reading this, let's get in touch again soon; I, we, will be emailing one another soon, I know, and let's find some time to connect again.
Molly, Avery and the whole Lander community: May God bless us all in our time of healing and remorse, and help us through our pain, and may He be with us each in our times of need.
Charlie
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Maeve's Dad
Trad climber
Herndon, VA
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Dear Molly and Avery,
It has been many years since I have seen you Molly, and though I have never met Avery, I would very much like to! From what I can gather, it sounds like Avery is a great deal like you and Pete both. You must see Pete's infectious, mischevious smile and loving heart live on in Avery every day!
I know that you know only better than I do just how talented Pete was as a climber. Of course this pales in comparison to the importance of Pete's companionship in your relationship, his role as a great father to Avery, and the genuinely positive good-heartedness that Pete shared with everybody that I know who had ever met him. When tragedies like this happen to our dear friends, even such TRULY amazing talents like Pete had as a climber seem like "useless fluff" that anyone would gladly trade for things being different than they are now . . . But I should tell you a simple story about one of my experiences with Pete "back in the day."
By the mid-80's Lezley and I had married, I was running a busy private practice, and Lezley was working in a clinical teaching position at National Children's Hospital. We were VERY busy, and there was unfortunately much less time for climbing than there used to be. Being over-worked and over-stressed were our constant companions! Anyway, we would still occasionally get out during these times (to try to recover the little bit of sanity we used to have) and muddle our way up some moderate routes at Seneca or the New. I can't remember exactly how the plan was "cooked-up," but I ended up climbing with Pete one day at Nelson Rocks. I remember Pete asking me if there was anything at Nelson's in particular that I wanted to climb. Now here was one of Pete's defining characteristics . . . Even if there had been something at Nelson's that Pete wanted to climb himself, it was ME who Pete wanted to see accomplish something - NOT HIMSELF. Well, I had always wanted to climb "Kamikaze" - an "old school" 5.8+/5.9- X. Yes, X . . . Before I let on though, I mentioned a number of routes, but finally asked Pete about "Kamikaze." I know you know about Pete's soloing exploits, and for all practical purposes, this route is really a solo for the leader. It is an amazingly compact-sided steep, slick off-width corner . . . (read akward, strenuous, and NO GEAR!), and a VERY long single pitch. Well, Pete was already smiling as he said "SURE! Let's do it!" Needless to say, especially for a now completely "citified" mortal like myself, it was an unspoken fact that Pete would be the leader (THANK GOD!). We met the next morning, racked-up (not that there was any need for a rack!) and hiked up to the route. We went through the usual rituals of stacking the rope, getting harnesses on and shoeing-up, all the while just joking, laughing, and spewing excitement about all the places we wanted to go and all the routes we wanted to do some day . . . As I belayed Pete, I was amazed by his mental control, and skill, and especially by his style. Pete just climbed as if there were no danger at all . . . There was no hesitation, no rigidity, no apparent need to avoid making moves that might "stretch too far." It was just a joy to watch someone climb with such expertise. And of course, Pete revealed none of the physical difficulty of the route while he was climbing it! I discovered this for myself soon enough! By the time I arrived at the belay, I had even more respect and admiration for Pete than I had before. WOW! Just . . . WOW! As usual, Pete wore his signature grin, asking if I enjoyed the route. The usual hand-shaking and congratulations (on both ends!) followed. Here was only more evidence that Pete genuinely cared about other people's goals and experiences.
So many people have said it here before, but it bears repetition. Pete was just a great guy. He truly cared about others. I will never be able to fathom Pete's level of climbing talent, but he was and still is an inspiration to me and to all of us. I will always try to climb like Pete (though I know I never will . . .) and to repect other people like Pete did. Like so many here have said, Pete taught us not only how to climb better, but how to live and love better. It is so easy to become wrapped-up in our own little worlds of "selfness." Pete always helped us climb out of this bottomless pit, and share with each other, BE with each other . . .
Molly and Avery, I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you. But you obviously have hundreds of friends and family who love you and care about you. The climbing community of Lander in particular must be absolutely amazing to live in. You are blessed to have so many who care about you. Please take advantage of it! We all want you to.
All the best,
Sandy Fleming, Lezley McIlveen, and Maeve
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lilygrens
Social climber
Lander, WY
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I feel the compelled to share an adventure that Pete and I shared, as Molly has already mentioned it, and I promised her that I would. Pete and I shared an adventure that was very different from all the others listed above. It was probably one of the wildest adventures that either of us had ever experienced. We donned tuxedos – with HOT PINK vests and ties no less - and danced on stage with our daughters in front of about 800 people! Pete and I shared many passions – Rock Climbing, Skiing and Hunting specifically, but more than that we shared a passion for our girls. Our daughters may have been 11 months apart in age, but they are sisters at heart – or ‘twinsies’ as they say. Avery met my daughter before she was born and named her baby doll ‘baby McKenzie’ in her honor just after Kenzie’s birth. At six-months Kenzie joined Avery at day care and they have been nearly inseparable ever since. Pete and I were never big adventure partners (father-daughter dance not withstanding). We’ve climbed near each other & talked and talked hunting, but we have never shared those loves. Last year we started skiing as families. Avery showing Kenzie the famous routes through the trees at White Pine and Jackson while the adults took turns turning with the girls and turning down the big hills.
I look forward to skiing, hunting and climbing with Kenzie and Avery for years to come – and dancing – for sure dancing… don’t worry Pete – we won’t let you down.
Miss you,
Mike
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lilygrens
Social climber
Lander, WY
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Avery,
I’ve found it so hard to put into words what I want to tell you about your Dad. I woke up early this morning unable to go back to sleep, full of these feelings for you and for your Mom, and all these memories and pictures running through my head.
I didn’t really know your dad until I knew him through you. And now I’ve known your dad through the filter of your and McKenzie’s 4…5…6year-old eyes. I’ve known him as the host of McKenzie’s very first real “sleepover”…the “cool dad” who made a great big sleeping pallet on the floor in the living room and let you guys stay up really late watching movies, but ended up letting you both curl up in the bed with him rather than have you so far away.
I can picture the little dolls made out of sticks and leaves all bound together with athletic tape, Fairies, you said. I can just picture your dad and mom at the base of a climb trying desperately to find something to keep you girls busy…and quiet!
And the dancing…your dad loved to dance. I can see him at that bluegrass show…in that big red barn…it smelled like fresh-cut lumber in there…. No one was dancing…except you and McKenzie and your little band of friends. But when you asked your dad to dance with you, he jumped right up. He ran up there to the front with you and your friends, twirling you all! No one could take their eyes off him!
But mostly, I have this image of you and McKenzie marching through the house one day chanting “UHM…UHM…UHM…”. When I asked you what you were doing, you said “The other day when McKenzie fell down while we were rock climbing with my Mom and Dad, my Dad told me that if you put pressure where it hurts and close your eyes and say UHM over and over, the pain will go away….AND IT REALLY WORKS!”
I hope your pain doesn’t linger, but that the memories of your wonderful father do.
I love you.
Suzanne
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klenard
climber
Missoula, MT
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To Molly and Avery and all of our dear friends:
It has been over two weeks since I heard the devastating news and I have been traveling nearly continuously throughout that time, often without access to internet or phones. I agonized for days about trying to be there at Pete's memorial. I could have, you know, if I altered four plane tickets, re-arranged all manner of meetings, and most importantly, dismantled a trip with my Ruby that had been planned for many months. Like so many of you, I felt a deep visceral pull to be there - for Avery and Molly and all of our friends stung by this unfathomable loss.
Right up until the day before, I couldn't sleep and wrestled continuously with my love for Pete, his family and the need for some kind of punctuation - I can't ever say closure -that would mark the world before and after Pete (Caroline Byrd, I can't thank you enough for your beautiful insight that Pete would have preferred that I spend time with my daughter, since that was an opportunity that would be forever denied with his passing).
And then, (and this is the point of this post)as if by some miracle, Pete and I had a visit as real as any I had when he was with us. I was lying in bed in a hotel in San Francisco and suddenly managed to channel Pete. I explained to Pete my dilemma and how I was on this trip with my daughter (who is six and just a little younger than Avery) to Chinatown, what a huge deal it was for her, and all the rest. And as real as any memory I possess of my brief time with Pete, complete with that small, mischievous smile - almost like he was winking at you while talking - he said, "Hey, buddy, I'm fine. Go be with your daughter and we'll catch up later." And after that, it was all okay. What an amazing man.
Keith Lenard
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Angela Patnode
Social climber
Bozeman, MT
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Molly,
How do we make sense of such a tragedy? I keep asking myself that and remember John K's words from the memorial - stop thinking with the head and feel from the heart - it's all I can do....
I spent the last 10 days in Yellowstone and wanted to share with you my time with Pete there....It was a magical evening - the full moon peaking above the skyline ridge, as big as I've ever seen it, broad and bright, full of life and mystery, lighting up the valley we were camped in for all to see. I looked at that moon, asking questions again about Pete, and I could swear that Pete was in that moon, smiling his beautiful smile, saying "Enjoy life, live every day as if it were your last...", and then....the wolves began to howl, a pack of them with the breaking voices of the teenage pups included. They howled all night long, far away, then moving closer, traveling through that moonlit valley....their howls were filled with wonder, sadness, energy, and most of all, Pete's spirit. I saw Pete everyday of the trip - in the pink of the fireweed, the orange of the sunset, the blue of the water, the sound of the grey owl's wings flapping as it landed, the howl of the wolf....he is everywhere and we are with him in all of life.
A book that I continue to return to in life's ups and downs "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron has a beautiful quote:
"Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy".
Thinking of you
Ang
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meggers.
Mountain climber
Newport Beach
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Molly,
I recall a few posts back you shared your new nightly ritual in remembrance of Pete --lighting a candle with Avery...and encouraging us to perhaps join you. Well, now I know there are two candles burning for Pete tonight. And I will continue each night. You are not alone. This one burns brightly in Newport Beach, California right now.
It is the perfect candle. It is soy, with the scent of Passion Fruit. It's not a gross-Yankee-Candle-stinks-up-the-whole-house sort of smell. Most guys don't love scented candles in the first place, so if Pete had he seen mine I can't imagine he would have run right out and gotten one for himself...however, I think it a subtle, cozy aroma, and welcoming and special. All fitting.
As I was lighting, I repeated my favorite prayer for all three of you, you two in Finland, and for Pete's spirit: May you be happy. May you be peaceful. May you be safe. May you be free.
much, much love,
megan
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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dear molly, i heard about the rainbows,
please don't worry about them...here, so this is for you:
rainbows, they are a joint unit of spiritual insight, a splash of heavens rich and good show...
they are a bannered reminder, reflecting prism-ed colors, to let you know...
that there is a cover of love, that shines in many fauceted ways...
as it went before, and now comes after, the storm that seek to bring dismay...
as steppingstones, they have come forth to lead...
bringing memories of love, as if leading a journey, by god's good-speed...
the reds, are warm-hearted love...
that nurtured, your family--though, shining now from above...
the blues are the sky's ever-reaching ways...
of calming the soul, with the forever-form-changing clouds of all your unique, past-treasured days...
the green is fresh new life from good solid seeds...
planted by a father's faithful deeds...
bits of purples are tiny bruised spots along way, that loyaly grew...
into integrity and honor, and remain forever true...
and what can be said of the orange and yellow...
except that there is briliance that adds to this bow...
it's the friendship and well-wishes that shine-forth as gold...
to grace the name of one, now passed-on, as each new rainbow, still unfolds...
these kind of on-going phenomenom is not normally seen...
a gift such as this, is most highly esteemed...
to comfort your heart, as a reminder, as eternally said...
everything that was knitted and nurtured into your life, will never be completely dead...
may the spectacular jeweled colors, be...
forever a heart-warming, cover of protection, to thee...
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Mamad
climber
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Dear Molly,
I think of you all daily and pray that you are finding the strength and love you need to go on each day. The pain does ease and eventually become bearable, but you never, ever forget. Have no fear, Avery will always remember her Daddy. He is too Awesome to be forgotten. At times you will also know with every fiber of your being that Pete is near. He will never leave you. That is the true beauty of a Soulmate. I wish you peace and forgiveness Dear Lady.
Debbie Olson
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Paul Koubek
climber
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Today, back out of the field after 10 days in the North Cascades (NOLS PNW Mountaineering Seminar), reconnecting with the world:
I found myself telling two of my parents about Pete's death - and crying, sobbing on the phone.
It was the first time I've been able to let the emotions I feel about this loss fully out.
We who live in mountain circles are a little bit used to talking about mountain fatalities and injuries. They are each one aweful, and they can will and do happen. We read annual publications with titles like "Accidents in North American Mountaineering." We (micro)analyze the situations. Trying to learn, we pay attention to the details of the accidents.
How can we learn from this one?
We all already know (including the 12 year olds among us) to look carefully and shout loudly before trundling.
Why are charges not going to be pressed? asked my father.
...and perhaps somewhere herin lies the lesson. I have been impressed with the civility of this forum, with the overall lack of blaming, fury or rage at the perpetrator (for indeed, that is the correct word) of this... what is the word? Maybe "atrocity"? That word seems to fit to me.
The perpetrator, whose name is Luke Rodolph, is not to be tarred and feathered, drawn and quartered, stoned to death himelf? Or (a modern, western version of the same) should Luke Rodolph not have his wages garned as child support until Avery reaches 18? What about justice?
Are we right to be so forgiving?
My heart tells me somehow that not finding forgiveness for others leads to lashing out, leads to mistakes (not unlike the U.S. government bombing two nations in response to an atrocity committed on our home soil).
So forgiveness...
As I find myself crying down the phone, I know no other word.
And finding it will be hard.
Paul Koubek
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Jennifer Lowe
climber
CO
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Last night, as the sun was setting here in Steamboat after a late summer rain, there was the most intense double rainbow I have ever seen in my life, bar none. As the sun continued to drop through the clouds, the light and colors shifted, more intense to the right, then the left, then the whole thing lit up, end to end, all across the sky. I just sat out there on my wet deck staring at this most amazing sky show and I thought of you and Avery and Pete. And I thought, when a person is such a force of life as was Pete, they never really leave and when we are lucky, we catch glimpses of them in things like rainbows and friendships and the eyes of our children.
Wishing you peace.
Jen
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Dorsey
climber
East Lansing, MI
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Hi Molly - I'm sitting in my room, watching the US Open, just over a teenager argument with my boys over going out on school nights...all the regular stuff of life. And I find myself thinking of you, and of you and Pete, and of you and Pete and Avery.
I want so much to send comfort and laughter your way. I know that the silly, mundane, crappy stuff at the kitchen table is really the fabric of a family's life. I want so much for you to know that your kitchen table will live again. Know that Avery already has that Village it takes to raise a child - I saw it when I was in Lander. Know that you, our fabulous Molly, will laugh and climb and do that Molly thing you do and have done since we met at Kent when we were both 14.
But I don't know how to really say all these thing so that they'll mean something to you, so you'll feel comforted or maybe just a little bit less lonely.
We are all watching for rainbows so we can say hi to Pete. Or maybe the rainbows are the best way for us to be connected to you.
Love, Dorsey
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Sarah S
climber
Lander, WY
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I often saw Pete, Molly and Avery around Lander enjoying all sorts of adventures together. I must say, I think those times that I saw them out dancing together were my favorite of all. I don't think I've ever seen anyone dance with quite as much committment and joy as the three of them. It always brought a huge smile to my face to see them giving every ounce of themselves to moving in time with the music and with each other. I particularly remember seeing Pete and Avery dancing in the barn at the museum when the Fireants were playing on a warm summer evening. Avery, you are very blessed to have Pete as your father. He gave himself fully to you, giving you a foundation of love and support and self that will last your whole life.
Molly, your eloquence in the letter that was read at Pete's memorial event was admirable. Times like this are the utmost tests of character and grace.
I will absolutely never forget the event that followed the service for me. I headed out to the parking lot, and asked the first car I saw pulling out for a ride back to Lander. Unbenownced to me, I had hopped into the car with Martha (Pete's sister), Pete's Mom, and a dear friend of theirs, Fran. I couldn't believe the incredible graciousness and kindness that was expressed towards me on the ride to town. The short time we spent getting to know each other and sharing thoughts about Pete will stick with me forever. These women taught me as much about Pete as the whole service. No wonder everyone loved Pete, he came from a family of people who could show kindness and grace in the most difficult of times imaginable. Know that I will forever admire your family. It only takes a moment for an unspeakable tragedy to occur, but it also only takes a moment to positively impact a person's life forever. That is what happened to me on the ride back to Lander. Thank you.
-Sarah Stein
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Hi,
I'm back in the States and am so thrilled to find that people here are still posting stories and memories. Of course for me, the journey of learning to live without Pete is just beginning and in many ways still feels incredibly unreal, so these posts are a way of staying connected to the one postive thing I've gained from Pete's death—a real feeling of appreciation for and contact with the people we know and love. I have been with friends here in Denver and tomorrow head back to Lander, which I have to admit I am both longing for and dreading. It will be hard to see Pete's shirts hanging in the closet with his shoes cluttered about on the floor. It will be hard to see the last Harry Potter book by his side of the bed, unfinished. It will be hard to get up and make my own cup of coffee in the morning...but I'm eager to be back in our community. And Avery is as well. And so we go and begin the real task of starting our new life.
I was talking to Sarah Pierce tonight and she said that her kids love finding out funny, embarrassing stories about when she and their father were younger and it occurred to me that you all could help me fill in some blanks for when Avery wants those kinds of stories about Pete. I know he wore the goofiest workout clothes, but do you have pictures of them? Like those lime green tights he wore well into the 90s in spite of the styles? I would love to have some photos or stories to tell Avery about what a goofball her dad could be when she wonders more about Pete 10 or 15 years from now. I think that continues to be one of the hardest things for me to grapple, just how she was deprived of getting to grow up with him there to guide—and embarrass—her. And he would have, wouldn't he?
The other request, which may be harder to come by, is does anyone have any video footage of Pete? I don't have anything and I only have his voice on our cell phone...So if you somewhere in your photos or movies have something that captures him on film for even a second, I would love to have it. It's kind of hard to capture a person in a still photograph, at least for me.
To all of you out there who have been helping me and Avery with your thoughts, emails, posts, letters, prayers, or whatever, thank you. Avery is well. I, well I had a better day today. I doubt it is much more than that—a better day—maybe just as a result of dehydration after the flying yesterday, but I am thankful for the brief respite. I know tomorrow will be hard... home feels like a strange mix between a comfortable place where I can find solace and a place that is haunted by memories that are too close and raw to be of any comfort right now. Still it is time to return, if nothing else because I miss my friends.
thanks again to everyone.
molly
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Andrew Morley
Boulder climber
Boulder, Colorado
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Molly,
It was so good to see you last night. I am sorry to have kept you, Sarah and Phil up so late, but I guess I just didn't want to have to say goodbye.
Becky's and my prayers and love are with you as you and Avery return to Lander. This homecoming will be so hard, but I am comforted to know that you have such wonderful, loving friends in Lander to help you. Lean on them, lean on your loving family, and please lean on Becky and me for anything.
Phil and Sarah, thank you for your wonderful hospitality and for letting me hang around so long last night.
All my love,
Andrew
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Sally Kimmel
climber
Shepherdstown, WV
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To Molly and Peter's Family -
I'm so sorry about what happened. My heart goes out to all of you. Mark Brosnan, a childhood friend of Peter's, called me to let me know about Peter. I was a close high school friend. I remember leaving Woodward H.S. many afternoons and giving Peter a ride to Carderock in MD when he first started climbing. I often belayed Peter on these afternoons and learned a lot about climbing. It was such an incredible passion of Peter's. We used to hang out along the Potomac River and went camping many times. Peter was always looking for someone to "come along" with him climbing or give him a ride. The group was usually Pete, Mark Brosnan, John Absolon, Brian B., and sometimes Mike Perlis (and me, of course). Pete's father used to give me a hard time for being the only girl in this group of high school boys but I loved the river, the camping and all the fun. In the winter we were somewhat shut down from the outdoors, although that never stopped Peter, and we spend a lot of that time playing pool in the Absolon's basement and only coming upstairs if we had to. Later, when Pete was teaching climbing at the Gendarme at Seneca Rocks, WV, we used to come down from time to time to visit. He was always so glad to see us all. I'm going to try and uploaded some pictures from high school and one of the trips to Seneca Rocks. My husband and I went to Peter and Molly's wedding and it was a wonderful time. I loved the time spent there. I'm sad that the last time I saw and talked Peter was when John Absolon was married. Molly and Peter were so funny about the one suit and one pair of heels they kept for weddings and couldn't wait to shed these items of clothing. I will always have very fond memories of everyone and I was lucky to find Mary (Pete's Mom) at home yesterday. We sat around the kitchen table and talked and talked. It was wonderful to be able to walk back into the house I'd spent those high school years in and it hadn't changed a bit. I lost my mother on Aug. 19th just after Pete and it was nice to go see Pete's Mom.
I'll try to remember more,
Sally
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