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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
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Well, waddaya know! Good for you, I guess Norwegian(since most people don't do "undrunk" if it's akin to something like an "I haven't touched broccoli on 4 months!" thing.
I'm in the countdown to 15 years sober. The 26th is the day, and so that is 3 weeks from now. I am cognizant each day, during this time, of the last month of my drinking life. It is a weird time, each year, as I pass through this almost required state. It's not intentional; it just occurs. The anniversary of my bottom.
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Anxious Melancholy
Mountain climber
Between the Depths of Despair & Heights of Folly
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what a god awful roller coaster! i'm sober for a few months, go to meetings, then I drink and its off to the races...no meetings, cloudy mind, body racked with the after effects of too much alcohol, and tortured with thoughts that my whole life is nothing but an absolute f**k up.
back to my meetings again this week, and went to the Dr and got a prescription for antabuse. one minute of strength to pop the pill sees me through 23 hrs and 59 minutes of weakness.....
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
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Good luck, anxious melancholy. I know of plenty who have had it like you. There IS hope, so long as you keep coming back. My thoughts are with you today.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Welcome back, anxious.
Just keep at it until it sticks. I hope the meds help. Remember to get a sponsor as soon as you can, try to find one who has a similar past if you can.
Try to find the triggers that make you pick up, and avoid them like the plague.
Happi, I'm so pleased to see your sobriety date coming up soon! You're an inspiration for me. Thank you!
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Wow. Just read every damn post. Good on you guys, keep it up, eh?
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
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Aug 25, 2011 - 06:31pm PT
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Today is the 15th year anniversary of my last day hungover.
Yesterday was the anniversary of my last drink.
Tomorrow, August 26th, will be the 15th year anniversary of my first day sober.
It's pretty likely that I will make it. I've been one of the lucky ones for whom the desire to drink was actually lifted. Even in my darkest moments, so far, the thought of a drink to deal with is has not been an attractive proposition, and rarely even one that comes to mind.
YAY!!!!
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Gene
climber
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Aug 25, 2011 - 06:34pm PT
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Major respect, HG!
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Aug 25, 2011 - 06:57pm PT
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Let the sun shine in.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Aug 25, 2011 - 07:03pm PT
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i want to die a lonely and wretched soul,
curled up against some pointy rocks somewhere.
alone with the silence and spectacular view
of my mountains.
not adorned with medals, or tattoo's.
with nothing in the bank and ragged shoes on my feet.
i wanna lead a foul life, respectable only to those
whom must receive my candor.
for now i am sober, because the health and well-being
of my children and wife benefit from my clean breath.
one day i'll again be the only soul in my boat
and then i'll aim for the roughest seas with my case of scotch.
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nevahpopsoff
Boulder climber
the woods
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Aug 25, 2011 - 07:25pm PT
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dude, that's dark.....
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Melissa
Gym climber
berkeley, ca
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Aug 25, 2011 - 07:34pm PT
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Happie...your post brought a tear to my eye. Congratulations.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Aug 25, 2011 - 08:11pm PT
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Way to go Happie!
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Aug 25, 2011 - 09:07pm PT
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I was just about to search for this thread and supprise! It's on the front page. Today is my 5th Bday.. I forgot all about it untill about an hour ago. been super busy with work and a forced demo/reno of my bathroom. Havent had a functionig shower in 3 weeks. Good thing I have a pond handy.. Had a dream last night that I was drinking. Those dreams scare me pretty bad untill i wake up and everything is ok.. Must have subconciously known that today was the day.. Its a bit anti climatic as actually sobered up in June of 2006 but had 2.25 beers on august 25th of that same year so I have to wait the extra 6 weeks to be official every year...
Good job happy and everyone else that has made the leap....
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Aug 25, 2011 - 09:19pm PT
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Thanks Hankster!
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Aug 25, 2011 - 09:48pm PT
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hank that is not poetry,
that comes straight from my owner's manual.
my scripture, he.
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Aug 26, 2011 - 12:01am PT
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In about one more month I'll be celebrating my 15th year sober anniversary
asdf. i'm back at square one with 15 days. wtf.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Aug 26, 2011 - 12:16am PT
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Don't let it sweat you BVB.. It took at least 4 tries for me until sobriety finally took. I say 4 tries because I don't remember exactly how many times I quit, before it took. Those years are sort of a fog. I didn't do AA, so I don't have any reminders. I just remember going back to drinking a bunch of times before I had finally had enough.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Aug 26, 2011 - 06:19am PT
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Tradman, grats on the bday! Way to go!
Bvb, man, it's all good. The important thing is that you're back. Just keep at it, sometimes it takes a while, that's all. You can do it!
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Aug 26, 2011 - 07:03am PT
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I did it on my own. no meetings. The first six weeks is the hardest. the first six months is hard, the one year thing is hard but after that it gets progressivly easier....
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Aug 26, 2011 - 08:09am PT
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I'd agree with that timeline, Trad.
After a year things got way easier for me. I very rarely have bad days anymore...like maybe once a year. I'm thankful for that.
I went to meetings for a while, but I had a hard time dealing with the drama and hypocrisy that crops up in a lot of places.
I still work a version of the program on my own, and I know they are there if I need them. And I still have numbers of active people in recovery I can call at anytime if needed. Having that lifeline available is good insurance, for me at least.
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