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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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the proudest chapters of the Kama Sutra, the complete works of Victor Hugo, and a babies arm holding an apple, but this was no ordinary apple, no sir, it was fruit snatched straight from the...
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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hand of Eve, back in the day, when she tried to tempt Adam; the story, as told, was a sham - Adam never "bit" the delectable morsel, yet blamed Eve when God got mad after noticing an apple missing from the Tree of Knowledge.
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Chico
Trad climber
Mt. Shasta, CA
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So Linda Carter threw the laso of truth around the apple from the tree of knowledge. "It's true" said the apple, "Adam didn't bite me, because you can't bite if you have no teeth. You can only gum. Speaking of having no teeth, guess who else is a gummer" said the apple...
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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and here's a hint: you can forget about the identity of the alternate gummer bearing any link whatsoever to the truth in the WOS matter, wrong orifice, nope, and it ain't either of the fake Mimi's cuz why the pubic floss, unh unh, and the Indelicate Arch don't play for that team, so this
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
Hell on earth wondering what I did to deserve it
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reveals it was Jerry Dodrill. The apple then tells the truth about how he *really* injured his rib. It all started when...
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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he tried to clone himself, using the old "Adam's Rib" method, because he had a lucrative photo shoot coming up, but couldn't find an assistant of the high calibre needed for his work.
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Now you might ask yerself why a guy's life werk would be focused on photo documentation of certain events involving Werner, stale twinkies, a Bear known only by his number, and a gang of feeble terrorists; sure, this might seem odd and you'd be right to pause, but when you consider he was commisioned by none other than
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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the CIA, who has never fallen for the Werner Braun peacenik personna; The had a dossier, and a long one at that, which contained items, incidences and occurrances such as....
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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rescuing Offwidth Ed from a rather compromising jam, delicately.
And the cornering of the lube market, for the purpose of
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mooch
Big Wall climber
The Immaculate Conception
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...lest you forget the ultimate ending.
It was Harding all along who had envisioned the whole thing.....with one parting thought: that Mimi and TR had met their demise when Chongo ate the two of them for breakfast; reincarnated two days later as a big steaming pile (corn included).
THE END!
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MisterE
Social climber
My Inner Nut
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Bump! For a great communal story! We laughed until we cried - too true, DMT...
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Mar 12, 2009 - 12:53am PT
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Absolutely worth the price of submission!!!
The Hartouni recap on the previous page puts a bow on it!
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Jul 31, 2010 - 07:45pm PT
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Jeff Batten had a really good time on this thread, especially stepping on my spleen! Rest in Peace...
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