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Brad McDowell
climber
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Oct 30, 2006 - 09:45am PT
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It has helped me to cope with not being in Lander and with the many friends I have there by reading the many entries here. It is a crushing blow to lose some one that is larger than life and all I can think about is the family he left behind.
Just this weekend I traveled with my family and as we entered our street and turned into our driveway, my 2yr. old son Beck said "We made it!"...My wife Jennifer turned to me and said "Isn't that a Todd Skinner line?". I had taken it for granted, but I believe I began saying that after having spent days climbing with Todd. I remember he always said something to the effect of "By golly...we made it back from another day of climbing!" as if to say we must cherish every moment. His influence is broad and it stunned to me realize that he had even affected my young son through me.
I missed being with you all this weekend to celebrate Todd's life and support Amy and the kids; but we will be there next summer. It won't be the same, but you all already know this.
Peace and love to you all...
brad mcdowell
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amy skinner
Social climber
lander, wyoming
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Oct 30, 2006 - 12:33pm PT
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Many thanks to friends who travelled the miles to celebrate Todd's birthday and to those who send their warm thoughts.
First, an assurance. As my wise friend Steve P. told my rock, Steve B. "Since Amy was strong enough to live with Todd, I have great confidence that she'll be strong enough to live without him."
Second, an answer to your requests to let me know what you can do for me and for our children. Dance with your partner in the kitchen to a cowboy love song. Tell your children bedtime stories of mountain men, the old west, and true everyday heroes that they know personally. Expect and demand exceptional performance from everyone you meet and complement them on it - whether you're talking to Yo-yo Ma or a local rodeo cowboy. Surround yourself with the absolute best people on this planet.
Finally, a tribute. I want to share a song that I wrote for Todd many years ago. In the sixteen years since I put these thoughts on paper, he grew in many ways, but mostly as a Dad. Photos will be posted soon.
We have all been fortunate to be held in the gaze of Todd's blue eyes.
-Amy
For Todd-
I want to see as you see through those shining eyes.
Your vision of this day, sweeter than any in the past.
I want to dream as you dream - your head is in the stars.
Your wildest expectations will be memories before long.
I want to work as you work - with impatience and with fire-
no considering time or sweat, only the task that's burning.
I want to feel as you feel when you're lying in my arms
content with knowledge that my love will keep you warm and breathing.
I want to think as you think - no limits, only possibilities.
The world presents unending choice of opening doors.
I want to sleep as you sleep after a well-lived day,
drugged with satisfaction or restless for more time.
I want to laugh as you laugh with no shadow of regret.
Your clear, bright voice brings joy to the circle of your friends.
I want to know what you know about the days ahead-
that the dreams, the work, the memories all lead to stronger steel.
Utterly your woman,
Amy
July 1990
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Index-Ben
Trad climber
Index
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Oct 30, 2006 - 12:45pm PT
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Words can't describe how sad I am this week as I returned very recently from a climbing trip to Yosemite. For the third year in a row Todd welcomed me to his Yosemite Ranch. He was never hesitant to fill my wine glass, put dinner on my plate, and gab into the wee hours of the night with the most fantastic climbing stories and tales of yesteryear. It has been a priveledge to know you Todd.
It is surreal that only two weeks ago I was in this mans presence. Todd talked much about some great granite cracks near the Wind River's that they were developing; knowing that I like crack climbing so much. I told him before I left that I would come out to Wyoming for a month to see this amazing trad climbing area. I know Todd would still have me visit.
To Amy, Hannah, Jake, and Sarah I am so sorry. I grieve with you.
Ben Troy Gilkison
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PMcGregor
Trad climber
Neuquen, Argentina
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Oct 30, 2006 - 12:48pm PT
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For those who could not attend the memorial service. Thank you Kari.
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Rob Robinson
Trad climber
Chattanooga, TN
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Oct 30, 2006 - 02:23pm PT
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There are two things that always come to mind whenever I think of Todd: He was someone filled to the brim with a kind of "spiritual incandescence" and as well a personal effervescence. Together, these two qualities merged in a spectacularly unique individual ... someone who was a light for the world and everyone around him. We are all so lucky that, for whatever time we shared with Todd, we had the chance to stand in that light.
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inhisfootsteps
Sport climber
Out West where the climbin's always good.
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Oct 30, 2006 - 06:23pm PT
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Hey all,
Its hard to believe that this is post number 360. I am amazed that everyone has come and posted their individual memories about my Uncle that are now being saved and being made into memory books for our family. I thank you all for the continuous stories and thoughts. Also, I would like to thank everyone who spoke at the memorial and all the climbers who included me into their Lander family and communtiy- you all are awesome. Thanks also for all the offers for climbing I got- I appreciate it. I cannot wait until that pancake breakfast we talked about. I will def. bring tons of t-shirts that we can cut the collars out of haha. We need to make that happen. I can't stop coming back and reading everything. This weekend was most def. one of the hardest if not the hardest things I have ever had to go through but everyone being there to support eachother, thank you SO much. I have made the decision to climb again and do a run or two up Devil's Tower in memory of the dream my Uncle Todd and I had. Any takers to come with are more than welcome. Just drop me an email. I took this picture of Sarah and I. I thought it was cute. Please still keep Sarah, Jake, Hannah and my Aunt Amy in your thoughts. (Aunt Amy...I LOVE AND MISS YOU ALL ALREADY)
Love,
Becca
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Lezlie Lehmann
Trad climber
Van Nuys, Ca.
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Oct 30, 2006 - 07:07pm PT
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Dear Becca,
What a beautiful post and lovely tribute to your uncle Todd and family and friends. You are quite special in your own right and a great writer, too - You speak straight from the heart and hit the bullseye everytime with your keen eye and your eloquent expression.
Becca, You have your uncle's tremendous appreciation for all the people around you, too - It's one of his most precious and endearing qualities. It's not surprising to me though, being that you are a member of the magical Skinner family. Great photo of you and Sarah - you look like sisters!!!! You guys are A #1 ADORABLE!
Glad to hear the rock tower is calling to you - if it's truly what you want for yourself, you will have a ball, and like your Uncle Todd, you won't ever feel you've climbed enough...take it from me...I'm 51, and I don't climb as much as I'd like, but when I get the chance to rope up you can't keep me away from the crags.
If you're ever in the area; visiting JTree or Yosemite; just holler and we'll come by and visit with you! We're in Van Nuys, CA.
Peace and healing be with you and Many Happy Trails and Ascents to come!
Lezlie
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Lezlie Lehmann
Trad climber
Van Nuys, Ca.
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Oct 30, 2006 - 10:33pm PT
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Dear Amy,
Every single thing you wrote is an unparalleled testament to your infinite love and devotion to your eternally embraced and highly admired man. As we all grieve Todd's death, I can't even begin to imagine what it is like for you and your beautiful children, Amy. Thank you for sharing your wonderful self and your stunningly beautiful feelings for Todd with us. I'm sure that our cowboy/hero knew exactly what he was doing when he picked you to be his cowgirl/heroine and partner for life. No less than the Best would do!
May your love for one another and Todd's for you all begin to light your way during these dark days.
We are thinking of you and your safekeeping. We have sent a small donation and hope you will be well cared for in the days to come.
Thank you, too for reminding us to nurture our love for one another while there is time and opportunity.
Wishing you Peace that passes understanding and a healing heart-
Lezlie
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Alan Brown
Trad climber
Colville, WA
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Oct 30, 2006 - 11:26pm PT
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I would like to send my most sincere condolences to Amy and her family. Though I met Todd only twice, once at Hueco Tanks and then in Albuquerque, I have to agree that he was an amazing individual with a strong love for living life to the fullest. His memory will live on forever, as he has touched so many lives. Amy you are an amazingly strong woman! Your reply to the offers for help is incredible. I have printed it out and am having it laminated so I can tape it to the bathroom mirror; I want to read it everyday to remind myself what is truly important, my family and friends. And as our Free At Last poster is autographed, “Let’er Buck”
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,
Robin Brown
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BlueDragon
climber
Bay Area, CA
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Oct 31, 2006 - 02:46am PT
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Dear Amy,
A little over a year ago, my husband was diagnosed with lymphoma. We have two small children, ages 4 and 2. I thought long and hard about what life would be like without him (he is now in remission). I was scared about a lot of things, but decided in the end they were all surmountable, especially with the right network in place to help me. It sounds like you have a lot of support of family and friends -- it also sounds like you are a strong cookie, but do remember to lean on your support network from time to time. You'll enjoy your kids more if you have the network to help ease some of the burden. And don't forget to be a little selfish. Take good care of your health, mental and physical. Sometimes let someone else do the work while you just enjoy your kids. They need you now. They really need you.
I had a short but fun climbing career. Learned on Tuolomne meadows slabs, continued to the valley, then moved to France for a 1.5 year postdoc and more climbing. Returned to work, then marriage (non climber), then kids, so I don't climb anymore. My only encounter with Todd was when he spoke to our company, Cadence Design Systems. You could hear a pin drop in the room as he told his tales. He wowed the crowd, and people talked about it for a long time. (Are there any video's of one of his inspirational talks? They should be sold with the proceeds going to the fund for the kids!)
Take care of yourself Amy, those 3 precious little ones are depending on you. My condolences to you, your children, and your entire family. May you find solace in your happy memories.
Ellen
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russ clune
climber
new paltz, ny
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Oct 31, 2006 - 09:43am PT
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Dear Amy and friends,
I am sorry I was unable to make it to Todd's service. It sounds like it was a fantastic tribute to a life well lived.
Even though we had minimal contact the last several years, my memories of times with Todd are among my fondest. From the nascent years of Hueco as a climbing destination, when 12 people made it crowded, to speed climbing in Yalta 20 years ago at the USSR speed climbing championships, Todd always made where ever we were special and fun.
Like all of us, I'll miss him. It's a poorer world with his passing.
Deepest condolances to you and the kids, Amy.
Russ Clune
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Danhamer
Mountain climber
York, England
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Oct 31, 2006 - 09:46am PT
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I received the sad news of Todd's death from my teenage son, Sam, a member of the British Youth Climbing Squad.
Sam and his younger brother Ed were eight and six when Todd and a mixed bag of North American and South African climbers, including my two friends Andy de Klerk and Ed February, arrived on our doorstep in Bamako, Mali en route to the Hand of Fatima. I was then working in Mali as a Geologist and was able to provide modest support to their logistics. In return, Todd and his friends were an inspiration for my children. The erection of a portaledge on the exterior of one of the classrooms at the American International School will be fondly remembered by a wider audience!
Only a month ago while on leave in the UK (I am still working as an itinerant Geologist in Africa), I e-mailed Todd a short note with details of what the two boys had been up to on a family rock climbing road trip around England & Wales in August. His response was immediate, enthusiastic and supportive. They were really pleased. Typically his response included a warm invitation to the delights of Wyoming rock!
We are all saddened to learn that the opportunity to renew our friendship will not be possible.
Dan Hamer, Asmara, Eritrea
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hobo_dan
Trad climber
Minnesota
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Oct 31, 2006 - 03:09pm PT
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I found out about Todd today. I never climbed with Todd but I met him about 20 years ago at Devils Tower. I had a VW bug with bad brakes and he gave me a can of brake fluid that was about five years old. It got me to the winds and then back home.
Hanging out at the campground we thought it was hilarious that his major was in business of all things. His stories: volkswagon busses, climbing. teepees and more climbing
He gave us Beta on how to climb Pingora and he had great spirit. Really great spirit.
I am sad and very sorry.
Sad day
Dan Murphy
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SaraBehnke
climber
W Lafayette, IN, met Garold
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Oct 31, 2006 - 04:15pm PT
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I just found my e-mail from Garold & Lucie Whisler yesterday about Todd.
I am one of those who never knew Todd, & I am not a climber. I may have met Amy once in Las Vegas sometime between 1992 & 1994, but I'm not sure. Todd may have even been with her. Anybody hearing Garold or Lucie speaking of Amy & Todd knew that there was immense admiration for their son-in-law (and his wife, their daughter! :-)). And when Hannah was born, it was as though the sun was shining JUST for them! And then the twins came! Same thing!
I can tell that the rest of the world thought very "highly" (no pun intended!) of him, too, whether or not they agreed with him in whatever way! (I have learned so much about the climbing world since yesterday!) From all of the stories that have been told, & are yet to be told, about Todd, I know that he was well-respected, & loved by many people. He will be missed.
My prayers & heart go out to Amy, Hannah, Jake, & Sara, and to his father, brother, & sister, as well as the Whislers (including Young Garold, Scott & Mollie & their children, & to all of the rest of his family & friends who knew & loved him.
I had the honor of seeing Garold & Lucie for the first time in 11 years, 2 years ago this week at the memorial service for a mutual friend, another outdoorsman, Eric Anderson. I know that Eric & Todd are climbing thru Heaven together, along with others friends that they have picked up along the way!
God bless & happy climbing, Todd. You are missed & loved!
Sara Behnke
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dannyboy
Social climber
fruita, CO
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Oct 31, 2006 - 05:06pm PT
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Wo, I just found myself in a conversation with Todd about ultimate meanings. Through our different approaches to the question (me, from within the space-time goo, Todd from out on the edge of life on this planet) we arrived at the same idea, Now is important. Right now.
Really been thinking of those vibrant, hilarious, and sunny times - with a good breeze blowing off the sea. And those cloudy, dark times with very cold hands; ultimately buoyant times, generative, lightening, enlightening, and enlaughening. Especially the half year vagging and cragging around Europe. Todds first trip overseas; massive packs and little clue. A wonderful muddling through. Such a fertile time, a beginning point sending us onward. Todd rededicated himself to the rock, came back to the states, and went to work at Hueco.
I have this big collage of alternating memory flashes... That bright-eyed face of Todd, turned upward, screaming, I am Spartacus (and he was) under the serious Peloponnesian sky, standing in the narrow arrow window of the Byzantine hillside ruins, preparing to dump boiling urine on the heads of my men. Gods were visible in the clouds. The smell the rock walls is vivid. And there were the quiet times, hugging all night, Christmas eve 1983, on that cold limestone knife ridge above Patras and the Ionian Sea, jumping jacks every twenty minutes, shivering, laughing till the morning sun long walk down to plates of dripping souvlaki, shots of ouzo. To the backstreets of small town Finland, as everywhere, making friends, heading out to the family sauna and snow roll. Serious puking on the ferry from Holyhead to Dun Laoghaire. Getting experienced with Guinness. The small car ride through Belfast to Fairhead on the northeast coast - columnar, like the Tower. Dalriada climbers. Fontainblea boulders - and the one problem I did that you didn’t get. Ha! Endless smoky trains with late night sleeper car gendarme visits. Todd, always so innocent, so guilty. So maddening - that heart pounding chess. Cruising through Stavanger fiord you circled around the frozen deck, arms held out to the looming cliffs. You wanted to climb them all. And you did. You kept at it. I kind of marvel at that. Damn your eyes anyway!
I could go on but right now I’m thinking of some lines from a poem called, A Brief For the Defence, by Jack Gilbert, in his book, Refusing Heaven. Great title!
... If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
we should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything...
Really cool to have hung out with someone who had magnitude at the beginning, and the middle as well.
Danny Rosen
Right now EmmyLou is singing that old Hendrix song, loud...
Waterfall
Nothing can go wrong
Nothing can go wrong
My sweet waterfall
when I go
when I go down deep
I want you here with me
My sweet waterfall
I can see
a rainbow calling me
through your mystery
my sweet waterfall
Waterfall
for a million days
fall with me for a million days
my sweet waterfall
Waterfall
Nothing can go wrong
Nothing can go wrong
My sweet waterfall
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Rhonda Eimers
climber
Carlsbad, NM
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Oct 31, 2006 - 11:31pm PT
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Dear Amy,
Nothing that I can say will take the hurt away, I realize that. I am just so sorry for your loss. I have held you in my thoughts and my heart bleeds for you. I know how much Todd means to you. You have a love that very few find. Bank on that love. I know that Carol is there with you. Lean on her. She's a rock. I send my love to you and the kids, Rhonda
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hames
Trad climber
UK
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Sending our fondest love and thoughts to Amy, her children and Todd's family, after hearing about Todd's accident on 23rd October.We were privilaged to welcome Todd into our family home, alongside Paul Piana and other wonderful members of the expedition team, when they came to Mali, West Africa, to climb The Hand of Fatima.Our children then,were little, but oh, do they remember that visit! What an inspirational team!Fantastic at their sport, organised beyond belief, laid-back, kind-hearted,funny,wonderful, wonderful people.
So very sad that Todd has gone, but he has inspired so many, of which our children are some, and this inspiration will carry on.
Thinking of you all at this very difficult time. Keep smiling, as Todd would always want you to.
Denise, Ashley, Sam and Edward Hamer
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Maria&Kelly
climber
Whidbey Is. WA
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There is no way to express the loss we all feel at this news. There is so much I will miss about Todd, but I will forever miss the sounds of his children when he came home, and smores and stories in the teepee while waiting for King and Queen Nature to arrive(..to be continued in his honor..:0)) To Amy, H, J and S...we will always keep coming home.
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Browns
climber
Milwaukee
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I have been reading all these wonderful posts over the last few days. I am blown away by the responces and the thoughtfulness of everyone. I find it difficult to jump in and add my own thoughts as it seems that everything has been said. I have been trying to think of new ways to say how this tradgety has affected my family and what I have learned from Todd as well.
Ultimately there must be some good that comes from his loss. For us, as with many, it has forced us to pause, and take time to reflect on those that are important in our lives. To take the time to tell someone we love them or what they mean to us.
I first met Todd when I decided to get more serious about climbing and moved to lander about 10 years ago. After my long drive from Wisconsin, I was introduced to Todd by Andy Skiba and we immediatly headed up to the Wild Iris. It was late June of 95' and we trudged through waist high snow to a 5.14 project those guys were working on. Andy took me over to a 5.9 that I finally managed to get up. When I was being lowered, Todd had followed our tracks over through the snow to see how it was going. I always remembered being impressed by how he actually cared about what I was trying and that he took the time to come over to me.
I lived on Lucky lane the next summer and again always felt welcome and part of a close community even though I was on the low end of the spectrum when it came to grades and only around for the summers. I was always impressed with the people and their inclusiveness to others. I know Todd had a hand in developing these attitudes and values and it rubbed off on everyone he met.
That was the beginning of my climbing career. I have been climbing many places around the world and there are few that are as inclusive and welcoming as the Lander climbing community. His enthusiasm and energy cannot help but spread. I sure appreciated being exposed to these values from the start. It has affected me in my climbing. I have and will continue to try and pass that along through my interactiuons with others in and out of climbing.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to Amy and the kids, family and friends all over.
We miss you Todd!
Shawn, Amanda & Logan Brown
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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I'm taking the liberty of posting a couple excepts from an email exchange I had with Todd over the Wet Denim Daydream on Leaning Tower Bolt controversy. Reading his words again made me feel that his food for thought should be shared. At first I thought I'd just post his philosophy of the second two emails but added the one below since we're climbers and having the ethical perspectives of various pioneers serves the community debate and consensus.
Peace
Karl
.............
One interesting point that hasn't been brought up is that I talked
extensively to Angus Thurmer about adding bolts to WDD and he had no
problem with it. He pointed out that if the bolts were far enough from
the corner, there would be two routes: WDD using aid and not reaching out
to clip the bolts, and WLN clipping the bolts while free climbing. I just
called him and he was 100% against chopping the bolts, stating that it was
an intellectual problem, not an ethical one.
One reason I haven't brought this up is that I have never considered the
first-ascentionists to be the owners of the route, and this includes me
and routes I have put up. The future climbers inherit each route before
the chalk dust settles and our allegiance must always be to them. If Alex
Huber really did create a crimp on the last section of the headwall of the
Salathe as I have been told, the climbers to come are affected- not the
climbers that have already passed.
Angus asked how climbers could clip
the bolts while aid climbing and think they have done WDD. He likened it
to using a long cheater stick, which is also a personal choice. He
stressed personal choice again and again, which I agreed with completely,
and bemoaned the "sheriffs" that have always appointed themselves the
interpreters of fixed rules in a dynamic, evolving sport.
Another reason that I haven't brought up my discussions with Angus is that
this situation must stand on its own. What if it was one of Harding's
routes? Do we leave it exactly like he did, in a "mausoleum mind-set"?
Who could seriously argue that he was against bolts? Again, reverence for
the past, allegiance to the future.
Also, there are fanatics on both sides. I got an e-mail from someone who
I have never met and has never done a wall who paraphrased the Zen saying,
"Chop 100 bolts, put in 101". Sounds like nobody "wins" ,but for sure the
rock loses- and, by extension, so do we all.
Stay hungry- Todd Skinner
Karl note: This is just grist for the mill. Folks who want to debate Todd's perspective on this should copy it to a new thread.
....................from another email
One of the good things about climbing for so many years and in so many
different areas is that my perspective has improved. I've seen people
die, seen children that were starving and would not last the month, seen a
family bury a 6 month old girl and hurry on toward a doctor 5 days away to
try to keep their other 3 kids from dying of malaria- things that really
do matter. We are only petty if we allow ourselves to forget how
wonderful and easy our lives are here in America.
Thank you once again for the spectacular photographs- you'll have to visit
next spring to see the frames I made- Todd Skinner
........Ending of another email...
We must move toward the light even if the journey leads through darkness-
Todd Skinner
............
Fly High Todd!
Karl
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