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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Jan 27, 2011 - 11:50pm PT
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I wish I could sit and have a cup of tea with you. I'm really saddened that you are dealing with such pain. I hope some of the new options get things reversed for you. Lots of thoughts for you and Ruth. Susan
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JOEY.F
Social climber
sebastopol
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Jan 28, 2011 - 01:25am PT
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Hi Paul, gave you a jingle today, If you're still awake, 707 291 8398 till 11pm. Otherwise, I will give you another shout friday. Poor nuts!!
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Jan
Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
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Jan 28, 2011 - 04:47am PT
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I'm still following this thread and hoping for the best.
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Berdette Robison
climber
the present
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Jan 29, 2011 - 12:33am PT
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I'm still following your journey, and as I'm sure you know, you have touched so many lives with your strength and spirit. Lots of good wishes and better days ahead to you and Ruth. I'm sure you also know what a treasure you have by your side.
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Disaster Master
Social climber
Born in So-Cal, left my soul in far Nor-Cal.
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 29, 2011 - 12:38pm PT
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Hi, thanks for the good thoughts.
Ruth is excited because her youngest, Cammy, is in town to visit. It has been three years since they have seen each other! It's the first time I have met her, though I have listened to countless hours of calls between the two of them over the years. So good to meet her.
But the pain is the worst ever. I am in bed with my throbbing leg and groin in the air, trying to no end to find comfort. Terrible timing with the visit. I told Ruth to just go have fun. I will work in when I can. We are all in a 5th wheel, so I can just join the conversation from bed anyhow.
I really don't know if I can take this level of OUCH! much longer without resorting to very heavy meds. Unlike some, I like my brain. Don't want to dope completely out of it.
Cruxing!
Paul
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Jan
Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
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Jan 29, 2011 - 02:47pm PT
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Sorry to hear about the pain, Paul!
There are drugs which can take care of it without totally blitzing you, but doctors are often afraid to prescribe them for fear of addiction. Generally hospice deals the best with pain and sometimes doctors recommend them for just that.
I have a friend who is bed ridden with severe arthritis and the only way she got both pain relief and a clear mind was having hospice take over from the nursing home staff. She's in no danger of passing on, it's just some bureaucratic rule problem.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Jan 29, 2011 - 03:04pm PT
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Sending some light your way. See if this helps:
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all in jim
climber
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Jan 29, 2011 - 04:12pm PT
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Found em! Photos from the far northern california coast: Paul Humphries and Eric Chemello,
1996-ish. Some great routes you guys put up there. I'm thinking about you and hoping for the best Paul!
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Jan 29, 2011 - 04:55pm PT
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thinking so much of you Paul. I hate that you are in such pain. My thinking is that being in so much pain takes as much a toll on you (if not more) as possibly being fuzzy brained until you get your options sorted out? Another cancer patient is on some sort of pump that is implanted in her abdomen. She doesn't seem fuzzy brained and she can control it as she needs it. Its so hard to get any rest when you hurt so much. I hope some of the options you mentioned in a recent post are available and work for you. Sharing a virtual cup of tea with you, Susan
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yoginigirl
Social climber
Eureka
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Jan 29, 2011 - 05:30pm PT
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Paul ~ I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain. Jodi and Nikki send their love. I hope you can get a handle on this. Hope to see you for a few moments next Sunday? I won't stay more than a few minutes.
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phylp
Trad climber
Millbrae, CA
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Jan 29, 2011 - 06:36pm PT
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Paul - I have a CD called "Rapid Pain Control" from Carol Erickson and Tom Condon. It's based on Ericksonian hypnosis. I have no idea if it would help with your pain at all, but I'd be happy to mail it to you to try. I found it very relaxing - two voices speaking simultaneously in rhythmic soothing tones. If you are interested just send me an email with a snail mail address for you.
Regards, Phyl
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BrassNuts
Trad climber
Save your a_s, reach for the brass...
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Jan 30, 2011 - 01:14am PT
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Paul & Ruth - wishing you continued strength in such challenging times. Take good care of each other...
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Iclimb5.1
climber
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Jan 31, 2011 - 05:02pm PT
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Paul,
Thanks for the update. I don’t know if you are feeling like reading, but Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zin is a great book on how to deal with pain by using meditation…sounds like right up your alley…maybe it will help. If I had your address I’d send you the book and meditation cds that I have.
Hang in there and best to you and Ruth.
Vicky
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Jobee
Social climber
El Portal Ca.
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Jan 31, 2011 - 07:50pm PT
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Disaster Master
Social climber
Born in So-Cal, left my soul in far Nor-Cal.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 1, 2011 - 11:34pm PT
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HI.
To the cool folks offering help, housing, books, cds, love, $, etc. we are very thankful. I intend to PM each of you with the info you asked for, but it just rough now. Believe m, though, we love all the offers and support. I hope a few people don't feel ignored...
If this entry comes off a little spacy or mis spelled its 'cause I am hooked up to this:
I was checked in to the hospital for a few days to try and get a handle on the pain. This is not an easy fix. Each time I move the main tumor in my groin shifts and pinches another nerve. Suffice to say , it is unbearable.
I was dealing with it at home until I ran out of meds, and even meditation worked not. I was screaming from just standing up.
I must find what works in the hard core drug realm for now.
What is infuriating is that in a hospital, they made me lay on the floor in admissions, there is no where for a serious ill person to recline. No one knew what they were doing, and I lay on the floor for an hour and a half while idiots danced around like headless chickens. I kept telling them that pain meds is the first thing I need not the last. Did no help.
I finally “Get” room an ten go through more Paperwork, interview say everything 16times.hrs later they give me pain meds, at a low dose. Because of opiate heads stealing and lying for dope, folks like me get treated like scum instead of patients. I don't want to get high! I WANT RELIEF. Th doctor ordered one of those push a button for more IV meds, he floor nurse agreed, but some Beurocrap Said no. To easy for me to get high I guess. This is insane! I have to push the call button for the nurse. Wait, no response. So buzz again. “WE will be right there” is always an hour it seems. So is a freaking' joke.
Eventually, like over 18 hours in the hospital, they finally get their sh#t somewhat together and medicate me to the point I can finally do something besides curl up in the bed, or floor. Still in a lot of pain, but I have found the staff that treats me like an ill man instead of a junkie. (They still have to LOCK the IV drugs to the IV tree to keep people from steeling the drug)
I must make this clear: The actual Doctors and my “team” do the best they can. It is the hospital bureaucracy that drives me mad. In a business devoted to “Do no harm” an patient care,, the actual people are not as important as covering their ass legally. Great, but they do such a poor job it opens more holes than it closes.
People first, not paperwork. You actually have to act like a two year old and throw a fit until they are so tired of you they finally do something...
AAARHHH.
This concludes the bitch and moan portion of this entry.
The facts:
-Still in a lot of pain
-Heavy drugs in large amounts don't do much
-I am one drug tolerant bastard.
-I will be in the hospital at least a couple more days as they find something to make the pain level acceptable to me.
At home the D5 #13 is getting fracture tested beating the crap out of a pylon in the yard when the pain spikes.
Cammy, one of Ruth's daughters visited and got to see me at my (not) best. I hurt so much I barely got to talk with her. But at least Ruth had a chance to hang with her youngest, do some yoga, see the town.
My docs are trying to get me on the newest trial ahead of anyone else calling me a “Special Case” I always wanted to be special, but not in this way. Even so, I might have to go off the BRAF drug up to two weeks because of my most hated word “Protocol”. Protocol before people. Oh, yeah, I'm a guinea pig now, not a person in the eyes of the mystery decision makers. Who the hell are they anyway?
Every intelligent Doctor I talk to about these things say they agree. But then they shrug their shoulders, unable to doctor until who-ever-the-hell-they-are waves the magic wand.
Live well, but die quick people. This slow sh#t blows.
Rambling … a bit medivcated...
FILL IN THE BLANKS
Paul D. Humphrey
Fill in the Blanks w/ Thoughts.
For Thoughts are all there are.
No Words to use,
no Signs to see,
just the thoughts of
We the Mind.
Simple Vowels or rows of Runes
amount to naught, indeed.
The Deed is fruitless.
The Meaning is lost.
Somewhere within my mind
a Rebellion has gone off.
No rebellion is wrong,
the wrong word to use.
Ah, that’s the gist: WORDS!
They fly like Birds, away
from what I want to Say.
Perhaps I Cannot,
though I Ought.
Unless……
I cannot Express.
And that is what I mean.
(So it would seem.)
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Gene
climber
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Sending love to you, Paul!
Gene
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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I'm hoping you get some relief...but they wouldn't give you the "green" button?? That seems crazy. When I was on the self-medicate IV they told me I couldn't overdose because even though I could push the button to self medicate they said it was timed to only deliver so much during a specific time period. It horrific you were treated so poorly.
My deepest thoughts are with you, and again, sharing a virtual cup of tea with you. I hope you get some rest while in the hospital. Susan
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Brian
climber
California
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We're thinking of you Paul, and hoping for the best in what I'm absolutely certain (even though I can't "know" without being there) must be an incredible challenge.
All the best,
Brian
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Jan
Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
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So sorry for your pain and trouble!
I still think it would be worthwhile to contact hospice about pain control.
They seem to have much less bureaucracy than hospitals do.
I'm hoping that you get on those clinical trials soon. Good vibes to make that happen.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Hang in there, Paul. Try to be clear as to what you need from us. I can proabably help help. But what do you need?
I'll say a prayer for ya tonight, Paul. Good rest and God bless!
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