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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 28, 2007 - 08:01am PT
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I am so glad people are still checking this site because it was so helpful for me to come to it today and hear from people... I have these moments where I feel like I've been punched in the stomach and I cannot breath when I realize Pete is gone forever. I am just so scared and lonely and Avery is both a great source of strength and work. She is happy and having fun and I need to be strong for her. But I also need to be weak and grieve.
Why don't they release the name of the rock thrower? Does anyone else think that is strange? I have been so angry by the subtle implication that Pete was engaged in a risky activity and that his death was just one of the inherent risks of that choice. Even the juxtaposition of articles in last week's Casper Star Tribune ("Rock thrower won't face charges" next to "Risk Takers") seem to reinforce this subliminal message that Pete was a risk taker and that this rock thrower was just a young guy doing what young guys do... oh and we should all feel okay about it because he did the right thing by admitting he threw the rock, and because did two tours of duty in Iraq. I appreciate that he did the right thing, but I think he should be held accountable for his actions nonetheless. Or am I acting like the deranged widow (which I am) and simply being irrational? What would have happened if someone was siting his or her rifle and shot and killed someone, even if he or she did not face charges, wouldn't the name be in the papers? Don't people throwing rocks look first? I know Pete did.
I am ranting now. It is raining and cold but beautiful here. I miss you all. Thanks for those of you who continue to post. I feel the connection....
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Lynn Iler
climber
Providence, RI
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Aug 28, 2007 - 10:53am PT
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Hi Molly,
It is good to be able to "talk" to you now. I have come back to this site at least once a day since the memorial service. That service was amazing. I am glad you are with family in Finland. I will be thinking of you when you return home to Lander. I cannot imagine your exhaustion, and yet, you are still so articulate with expressing your emotions. I think that will help you and Avery a lot as you grapple with this over the years.
I have called several old friends from Berkeley and from other past lives of mine just to say hi. I even called some friends locally whom we always say we will get together with. We have made plans to get together, finally. I have hugged my family a little harder and longer and more frequently everyday.
I have thought about you frequently and I hope you find peace as you mourn the loss of Pete. I can only say how sorry I am. It seems so random and senseless. I have thought about the thrower and how stupid it/he was. I do not know why they would not release his name. I am not sure it would help make the act any less unimaginable or easier to cope with. It is harder that this was at the hands of someone else and not an accident or mishap. I cannot believe how one stupid act has changed so many lives forever. If only...
My heart breaks for you and Avery.
My love goes out to you.
-Lynn
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hiemstra
climber
La Porte, CO
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Aug 28, 2007 - 02:39pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
We are sorry to hear of your loss. Our condolences.
Chris, Theresa, and Adeline
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Michelle L. Escudero
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 28, 2007 - 04:51pm PT
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Molly-
We miss you so much here. I'm really sad today. I spent the better part of last night looking at the slide show from the memorial over and over again. I love looking at Pete's eyes and seeing your smile.
Is there a phone number that I could call you in Findland? If so, send me the number and the best time to call you. I don't want to be a pest or a way too needy friend. My email is .
Michelle E.
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3rd sister
Social climber
Montpelier, Vermont
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Aug 28, 2007 - 05:28pm PT
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Molly,
Michelle captured just how I'm feeling as well...
I keep listening to the music from the slide show or looking at pictures of Pete around our house (I'm not sure I can look at the slide show right now...) or trying to come up with ways of helping you and Avery even though that is mostly just to help me feel like I'm doing something productive and not just drifting through the days, feeling so sad and alone. I can't even think who to call... (virginia woolf: "but one only woke people if one knew what one wanted to say to them. and she wanted to say not one thing, but everything...").
sending you both lots of love and thanks to everyone who keeps posting here, I too keep coming back to it in search of comfort.
Ann
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skm
Sport climber
Cody, WY
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Aug 28, 2007 - 06:11pm PT
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Molly,
I was cleaning up my office a few minutes ago and found your letter and picture collage from this spring. I was so happy to find it as last week as I searched for it I feared I had thrown it away. It is now on the wall next to my computer where I am looking over you and Avery and of course Pete. My favorite picture is the one of Pete with his hands raised next to Avery in what looks like a cheer for some kid at the playground. I am simultaneously very sad when I look at the pictures of you all and also grateful for the times that I shared with the two and then the three of you.
I was mad too the other day when I read the article about the rock thrower. Why indeed? Although a name won't change things it somehow feels like it might add a layer of reality to the situation which I think would help in the grieving. Molly it is absolutely ok for you to be and to feel any way you do right now. I am here to help in any way I can and am anxious for your return to Wyoming as you take your next steps. Reach out to all of us and know that even if you don't reach out we will reach in.
love,
Sharon
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Andy Blair
climber
Lander
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Aug 28, 2007 - 06:56pm PT
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Hey Molly,
Lander is missing you and Avery. We think about you all the time.
Like so many people, I keep coming back to this site. It makes me feel a little closer to you and Avery and a little closer to Pete. From reading your postings, it sounds like it gives you some solace too.
You have been such a dear friend over the years. Your family has taught me a great deal. You all have been my role models for friendship, for climbing, for working and for parenting. I kept watching you and Pete and Avery to try and learn some of the secrets you all seemed to have found out about how to do all these things so well.
I hope some enjoyable moments have come your way on your trip to Findland.
I'm in the midst of trying to learn my new job at WMI and be productive. I just got my blood drawn to see if I have the West Nile. I'll know in a couple of days. I just had my exit interview with Bruce this morning. I'm trying to help Jacki keep from going nuts over Malaika's incessant nursing. In the midst of this I keep you all in my heart.
See you soon.
Andy
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Dorsey
climber
East Lansing, MI
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Aug 28, 2007 - 07:43pm PT
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Hi Molly -
I, too, check this site daily and somehow get a strange 'fix' of comfort from it. I'm back in East Lansing, a place that still feels strange to me. But I'm taking a lesson from you and Pete - I need to more actively create my new community here, to be more generous and thoughtful (as the one man at the service also pledged.)
One the drive from Lander to Salt Lake, Diane and I called and talked to Hillary and Virginia. In Salt Lake, I spent a few hours with Susie. And then, after I got back to Michigan, Tom Post called to ask about Pete's memorial service. Your Kent family is rallying around you from afar and we're hatching our Molly Plans.
We're all here for you. We're all thinking of you. Near or far - doesn't matter. We're thinking of you and Avery.
Love, Dorsey
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EleanorH
climber
Anchorage AK
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Aug 28, 2007 - 09:05pm PT
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Dear Molly
I too end up here each day to somehow help me feel closer to you, closer to Pete and to all of the incredible people his life has touched.
I downloaded the beautiful black and white photo of you, Pete and Avery for everyone here in Alaska last night. We were all laughing/crying and ultimately fighting about whether or not Pete would want us to light a candle for him each day or if he would rather us shoot a gun itnot he air(Willy Peabody of course!)Pete is certainly laughing at us.
All my love and see you soon-Eleanor
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 28, 2007 - 10:09pm PT
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hey there dear molly and the rest of pete and molly's family...
say, i just got this gut feeling to come here today, and i read of your hurt from the rock-throwers name not being released... and the risk-taker stuff...
say, perhaps this may help some--dont know:
i have been listening to radio stations off and on in the evening... as i have no tv..etc... and it seem that there are folks out there that have had injustices and somehow--by SHEER gut and determination, they have pushed onward to contacing some kind of media that can help them, and let them tell their story... and in this way--shed TRUTH on who their loved one was, and that their name not be slandered... and, they have in this way, by talking on various talk shows (credible ones) about questions as to "why this, or that".... (course, one must ask and seek around and find credible talk shows to visit on) and, if you can even publish a book, with donation, or some other funds, and try the self publish way, you will have more to show of the credibilty of your husbands's work----or SAY, PERHAPS if you can even get folks from the work that he did, to come and talk with you, and stand by you...
or, if you are not yet up, to it, pray please pray for strength... the main thing is to get this OUT INTO THE OPEN, and not let it be forgotten.... folks should be accountable for their actions... rock climbing is by now a long established profession and past time---no one should be ignorant of what dangers can befall another, uder a cliff...whether that person is a climber, or even a walker--just below...
it is very hard, i really do know... but now is the time to pursue, but with a CALM heart, there is a way---you must find it, and i will be praying for you...
i have really seen folks, reach many others, and at least this may in turn shine more light on who the thrower was, and perhaps this will led to stricker laws, to save others...
you may power in your hands and in your heart that only YOU posess... write or call newspaper, magazines, radios, sponsors, or who and whatever you can think of.... famouse folks, perhaps, that may come to bat for you?....
maybe even famouse folks you dont know, that respect rock climging... i'm just taking shots in the dark here...
i willl keep praying for you and your family, love so much, neebee--just an ol' mom and grandma that has seen a lot of unjust things in the lives of my friends....
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 28, 2007 - 10:24pm PT
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hey there molly... say, as to the city of landers... is this where you and pete lived, or were from?
is there anyway that the there is someone... or could you send out for sponsors or donations, as to someone making a huge memorial site, some kind of buiding, statue, etc... or anything dedicated to victims of such crimes... and also, towards his work--- and towards those that die needeless to purposeful-rock-throwing....
in this way, media attentions could be drawn to the dedications and you could push this very serious cause each year, and make it grow? ....
could there be some way to do this... this would help keep this in the news and keep folks to be warned that this wrong...
oh, well... just trying to think of someway to help you... will keep praying... one day, something will fall into place...
god bless, once again... ask the good lord to hold your hand and be the glory and the lifter of your head.... and to encompass you children... love neebee... who is very sad for your loss....
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Aug 29, 2007 - 12:10am PT
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Dear Molly-
Once again I find myself here at this site, missing you and Avery, missing Pete and just feeling so sad. I keep listening to Calling All Angels from the slideshow... and then I cry some more.
I like reading what people have written again, especially now that I've met so many of them and can see their faces as I read. I'm so glad that people keep writing and sharing their stories. You and Pete have both touched so many people's lives, which sounds a little hokey, but clearly it's true.
I love you-
Cornelia (Molly's older sister)
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sally
climber
Finland
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Aug 29, 2007 - 09:15am PT
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thanks for the contact. Since I can't access my email here, this is a way for me to maintain some connection with Pete and my community, and I miss you all.
It is interesting to be around Avery. Pete is still very present for her in a way that can be tricky for me. She is happy and easy in her adventures right now. I'm much sadder, slower, heavier in my heart and it's raining and cold... So sometimes her joy can help me and at other times it is hard for me... Those times when I need to be sad and cry.
thanks for writing. love to you all.
molly
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IFBIker
Trad climber
Charleston, WV
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Aug 29, 2007 - 10:03am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
It has been almost a week since I left you two. I miss you both very much and think about you constantly. Christina and I lit a candle for Pete the other night and we both cried. I am glad you have Avery. Those days I spent with you two were sad and wonderful. I wish I could give you both a big hug. I hope to see you sometime soon.
Love,
Teddy
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IFBIker
Trad climber
Charleston, WV
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Aug 29, 2007 - 10:24am PT
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I am finally getting around to posting what I read at Pete's memorial. It has been hard for me to come back to this site. I miss him very much.
I am honored to be able to stand up in front of so many who loved Pete and tell you what he meant to our family and me.
Somebody asked me today what Pete was like as a brother in law. All I can say is he was great. He was like taking all of the qualities I would want in a best friend and making him family.
Yesterday, our families had the chance to gather and talk about Pete. In a moment of silence, with my eyes closed, I saw Pete's face and it comforted me. And being in this canyon today among these rock walls, surrounded by friends and family, I know Pete is with us. I look forward to seeing Pete in Avery as she grows from a little girl into a young woman. And the next time Molly and I venture out on a ski, Pete will be with us.
I had many firsts with Pete. I would guess there are several here today that could say the same thing. For me, these included my first lead climb, my first backcountry ski, and my first big summit climb. What struck me most about these firsts was Pete's ability to give so much of himself freely and with such joy. I sensed that Pete not only enjoyed the adventure, but also the opportunity to share the time with me.
Pete always seemed to be willing to give so much, whether it was the gear somebody needed, or the right sequence for the climb, or even making sure he brought the keg for the family ski vacation. Pete had this quiet ability to know what was needed in a situation, often before any of us did.
Over these last few days while sharing stories and memories of Pete, I have learned something about myself. I have learned that I can practice thoughtfulness and generosity, which came so easily to Pete, and does not come easily to me. This is what Pete has left to me in his dying.
To you Molly and little Aves, I know that there are lots of firsts to come, many that you never counted on doing without Pete. I will be there with Avery and you for some of these firsts and I know that many of your friends and family here today will be there for others. We will provide you with all of the love and support we have.
And finally to you Pete, your work is not done. Fall is approaching and I know you have not forgotten the importance of Sundays. Maybe you can use some of your newfound pull in getting our Cowboys back to the Super Bowl!
I love you.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 29, 2007 - 02:15pm PT
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hey there all... say, i lost my post, so this may go twice, or not ... not sure...
say, there, crock... say, thanks for posting this link for everyone, and for molly....
say, as to the statement of this young man:
"You just wish there was something you could do to help them," said Aaron Rodolph, his eyes red and his voice cracking. "And you know in your heart there is nothing you can do."
PERHAPS he would be the the one to start looking into and finding a way to make a building, or monument dedicated to Pete, and these folks that have DIED needlessly in these ways... it would then be seen statewide, to keep a light always shining in the eyes of the public, so that this warning will live on...
as folks can forgive, and need to forgive, so thus, the good book ALSO says:
bring forth FRUIT with your repentance, and if this young man is truly sorry, it would be an equal deed to do all he can in his power--which would NULLIFY his "nothing you can do" and turn it into something that MAY help safe other lives, by informing the neglegent tendencies of man/woman/kids as to being responsible for their actions.... like: no man is an island.... actions connected, by the waves they stir, moving from one body, to another....
only the future will tell, if Pete's lost live can help others have a better chance than he did---it could be done....
will this young man that caused his death, dare to try to help his widow... perhaps would he even dare to try to help with a college fund for the kids left behind...
dear lord, as we pray, a sincere repentance, could bring this fruit... only time will tell, and molly will be the one to see...
god bless all... i did not mean any harm to anyone saying all this... but some kind of seeds need to be sown, from this sorrow...
***if the young man involved does take to read this--please understand--this kind of memorial MUST be done, with all glory and honor going to the INNOCENT and the loved ones lives to be spot-lighted... not the one that needs to help, from a damage caused... (said in kindness)...
*also, perhaps you could set aside time to go and travel to national parks, schools, colleges, etc, and do public service to speak on this issue, and carelessnes, etc--this, too, may help save lives... god bless, if you should endeavor to do this, as it fits the situation, as to widom....
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Nate Furman
climber
Salt Lake City, UT
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Aug 29, 2007 - 03:05pm PT
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Hi all,
I miss Pete.
I knew Pete as a friend, mentor, supervisor, and climbing partner up in Sinks Canyon. His energy was inspirational; his grin and wry sense of humor always cheered me. I remember Pete often showing Avery off at work, or taking her up to Sinks and setting up the rope swing. Watching him with her made me long to be a father. A group of folks would rendezvous up in Sinks in the afternoon, and we'd take turns spending time with Avery while Pete climbed or belayed. She seemed so comfortable up there, hanging out with the friends of her father and relishing the opportunity to take a pendulum on the rope swing.
I first met Pete when he was the assistant director of the RM. He welcomed me into NOLS, and into the climbing program. I remember talking to him at length after my first mountaineering course; he was so psyched for me. Then I got my first chance to climb with him and was amazed watching how fluidly he ran up the rock. And how happy he was doing it. He was in his element. I climbed better with a Pete belay. Somehow his energy rubbed off on his climbing partners, and helped them climb better and enjoy it more.
At one point, when Pete was in the staffing office, NOLS started doing criminal background checks. There was uh..."something" on my record that we had to discuss. The nature of the "something" was somewhat humiliating, yet nonetheless it was easy to talk to Pete about it. Of course, every now and again, Pete would tease me about it in an entirely appropriate way that made both of us laugh. He was like that...you could share yourself, both the proud moments and maybe the not-so-proud moments, with Pete and it just felt good. He cared very much for the people in his community.
The service for Pete was incredibly beautiful and terribly hard. It was tremendous seeing so many people come together to remember a great human. Thank you for organizing the service, everyone.
I'll miss Pete. He was a "staple" in my life--one of those people you count on to be there, that I saw infrequently but looked forward to seeing every time. I'm so sorry he's gone, but I'm so glad he lived an amazing life. He deserved it.
Molly and Avery, I think of you at least ten times every day. My heart is broken for you. If there is anything that I can ever do please let Jess and I know.
Be well,
Nate Furman
Salt Lake City
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alars
Social climber
Tucson, AZ
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Aug 29, 2007 - 03:23pm PT
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I learned this news the night before leaving for our own trip to Scandinavia - Norway - and posted a fast note just to get some of the disbelief out. Now I've had two weeks to process and I have more thoughts, Molly. You and Pete were two people who I looked up to for years, first when I was the kid working at the climbing shop and then when I was a seasonal employee at NOLS. You probably don't remember me, and that's fine with me. But please know that you made an impression.
In June 1997, I sat and ate lunch at the Noble with Pete and some of the other RMB summer staffers. We talked about - duh - climbing. Climbing in Sinks Canyon. Climbing in the Winds. And finally, climbing in the Tetons. He talked vividly about The Grand, describing in detail both the Exum and Owen-Spaulding routes. He gave flawless beta, down to advising extra caution while climbing the icy chimney where Alan Bard died just days later. I sat in rapt attention, listening to this man who so clearly loved mountains. Ten years later, I realize that the thrill of sharing the mountains with others meant as much to him as experiencing them himself.
I read the interview with the rock thrower. I'm sick to my stomach. That man will have to live for the rest of his life with the knowledge that one stupid impulse took Pete from you and Avery. I cannot imagine his suffering any more than I can imagine yours, Molly.
You have spoken of your fear that Avery will forget Pete. Impossible. None of us will.
Be well.
Alicia
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Christina Armbrecht
Social climber
WV
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Aug 29, 2007 - 03:55pm PT
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Hi Molly...
know no other way of getting in touch right now....
know that i think of you so many times every day i can't count them...
you are being held and loved by so many and right now by me....
loving,
christina
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John Gregory
Trad climber
washington, dc
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Aug 29, 2007 - 04:34pm PT
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From AP today
Veteran remorseful for throwing rock that killed climber
Associated Press
Originally published 02:01 p.m., August 29, 2007
Updated 02:01 p.m., August 29, 2007
CASPER, Wyo. — Tears in his eyes, an Iraq war veteran recounted for the first time publicly the desperate remorse he felt after tossing a large rock off a cliff that killed a climber below.
“I’d do anything to change it,” 23-year-old Luke Rodolph said Tuesday.
On Aug. 11, Rodolph was sitting on the rim of a canyon with three others when he picked up a 15- to 20-pound rock the size of a bowling ball and looked over the edge. He said he didn’t see anyone below.
“I picked up a rock and threw it off,” he said. “Looked over just a little further to watch it fall, see where it was going to hit, you know, kinda leaned out further than what I was comfortable with normally, and watched it hit Pete Absolon.”
There was no time for a warning, Rodolph said. He said he didn’t see Absolon, 47, until the rock struck him in the head.
The group called 911 on a cell phone, then rushed down to Leg Lake Basin. Steve Hirlihy, a National Outdoor Leadership School instructor, had been climbing with Absolon, the school’s Rocky Mountain director, and asked Rodolph and his group what had happened.
“Luke looked him dead in the eye and said, ‘I threw it,’” said his brother, Aaron Rodolph, who was with him. “I’ll never forget, as long as I live, that Steve looked Luke dead back in the eyes and said, ‘I forgive you for that’.”
Absolon, who had a wife and daughter, had been climbing with Hirlihy along a new route up the cliff face of Leg Lake Cirque in the Wind River Mountains near Lander.
“It’s unbearable for them to have to go through this. It’s my fault,” Luke Rodolph said.
He stayed with Hirlihy and Absolon’s body in the basin overnight while the rest of the group went back to their campsite.
“Steve and I just talked for a while, sat around the campfire,” Rodolph said. “I told him I’d go into town with him and talk with the sheriff and give him a statement, and whatever happens, happens.”
The morning after Absolon’s death, Rodolph and Hirlihy hiked out of the area to Lander. Later that day, Rodolph spoke with Fremont County Attorney Ed Newell and an investigator before returning to his home in Casper.
Absolon’s body was recovered the same day.
Eleven days later, Newell announced that Rodolph would not be charged. He cited several factors in his decision, including the fact that Rodolph took responsibility for his actions, was extremely remorseful, didn’t intend to cause harm, had no criminal history and served in Iraq.
In an e-mail to the Casper Star-Tribune, Absolon’s widow, Molly, said she didn’t have a comment on Newell’s decision not to charge Rodolph.
Gary Wilmot, an instructor at the National Outdoor Leadership School, said that while he feels compassion for Rodolph, throwing a rock from a cliff is irresponsible.
“We recognize that he is hurting, but we are also working on filling a big void in our community and a family here in Lander,” Wilmot said.
© 2006 Daily Camera and Boulder Publishing, LLC.
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