Why Are Republicans WRONG about EVERYTHING?

Well, Larry, that comment sort of sums up how a lot of people lead their lives - Waiting For Gubmint Goodbar.
Having just returned from Italy I can assure you that Southern Italy, which follows that system, sucks big time.
Northern Italy, where people go out and make lives for themselves, is doing quite nicely, thank you,
although no thanks to their layabout southern cousins who the northeners support.

November 3, 2004

F*#k the South. F*#k 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the f*#king Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we f*#king founded this country, as#@&%es. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the f*#king sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were f*#king blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the f*#king monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the f*#k out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and f*#king Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those f*#king stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for f*#king blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their f*#king Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this sh#t, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. F*#k off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being f*#king arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the f*#king cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so f*#king arrogant if I wasn't paying for your f*#king bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your f*#king Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a f*#king swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your f*#king orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal f*#king dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherf*#ker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, as#@&%e, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, as#@&%es, it’s f*#king our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own f*#king stop signs, as#@&%es.

Let’s talk about those values for a f*#king minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you f*#king Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s f*#king Massachusetts, the f*#king center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the f*#king nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are f*#king blue states, as#@&%e, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to f*#king guess? 10 of the top 10 are f*#king red-ass we're-so-f*#king-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its f*#king part.

But two guys making out is going to f*#king ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we f*#king get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're f*#king towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us f*#king Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous as#@&%es? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the f*#king Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, as#@&%es.

Well this gravy train is f*#king over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your a*#.

And no, you can't have your f*#king convention in New York next time. F*#k off.