Single Handed Transpac (OT)

You don't want to sail upwind to HI

A great drone picture of MiniBar one of the MiniTransats in the SHTP

That's an impressive antenna array. Other than receiving signals from deep space, what are the rest of those for?

Many years ago, famed behavioral researcher B.F. Skinner became bored with teaching chickens to peck at paddles for food pellets. He realized that the chickens were just too darn smart. Early on, they figured out the game, and since food pellets were all they had going for them, why not peck at the damn paddles. The exercise was good for them and they DID occassionally get fed. Skinner was toying with some thoeries about ways he could teach a REALLY dumb animal to work unceasingly for a goal with less pleasureable value than a food pellet. But first he needed REALLY dumb test subjects. For several weeks he pondered what sort of subject would fit the bill. Turtles? possibly dumb enough, but disinterested. Slugs? Certainly dumb enough, but so slow that his graduate students would die of boredom waiting for results. Finally he came up with the ideal test subjects: Singlehanded sailors! Singlehanded sailors met all the requirements. They Were as dumb as fenceposts, at least in the areas he was interested in, they were capable of quick responses, and were stubborn enough to provide a real training challenge. Which brought up the other issues: what should the training challenge be, and where could he get a good supply of these legendary sailors? THe supply proved surprisingly easy. Skinners agents began inhabiting yacht clubs of low repute, such as the Island Yacht Club, and hanging out in sleazy boatyards such as Svendsen's, watching for sailors with a sickening taste for doing all the work on their boats themselves, and who walked around the sailing equivalent of opium dens such as the Blue Pelican with glazed looks in their eyes , mumbling "Shiiiiiny!!!". A quick grab, into the black vans, and off to the lab. Easy-Peasy! Now for the more interesting challenge- finding a test that would engage the maniacs and yet be of sufficient gravity to hold their attention. After discarding many ideas, Skinner finally came up with the idea of the Lumpy Sea. This diabloical entity was designed to exacting specifications and after several iterations, built and installed in a special cage, ready for testing. THe captured sailors were divided into separate groups, which Skinner called "Divisions" and told that they would be racing against each other in sailboats for a huge and valuable prize. When the suddenly focused sailors queried him about the exact nature of the prize, he vaguely mumbled something about "pride of accomplishment". Their faces fell, and they began to drift off. He quickly upped the stakes and said,"and a belt buckle", which partially regained their interest, especially those whose addiction to spectra rope and sailcloth had left them with sagging pants. But still this was not enough- their energy was clearly dissapating. In desperation, he yelled, "AND FREE BEER!!!". That did the trick. They were putty in his hands. Skinner explained the game to his attentive audience. They would enter simulators, crafted to resemble boats, and attempt to cross the Pacific to Hawaii singlehanded. THe boats were all a little different, but a handicap system would allow them to compete on a theoretically even basis. The reward would be deferred until the end, but the winner would clearly get the most beer, as being first to finish they would have the most time to drink it. He informed the hapless sailors that in addition to such clearly defined challenges as the Windy Reach, the Ridge, and the Trade winds, he was introucing a random variable that would really test their mettle as sailors- the "Lumpy Sea". He refused to describe this test in any detail, only commenting that they "would know it when they felt it". And so the starting gun sounded and the contest began. Across the line, through the Gate, past the Farallons the contestants sailed, doing sailorlike things like tacking, gybing, pissing over the wrong side of the boat and onto their legs, puking, and yelling cryptic terms like "Starboard". "F%^* You", "OWWW!!","Mother F&$#%*", and "Aaargh!!" (a technical term used by pirates, but frequently also used by singlehanders- no one knows what it means). Soon the divisions started to separate, and so Skinner unleashed the dreaded Lumpy Sea. Suddenly, a peaceful reach with strong winds came to a slow and fitful stop. THe winds became vague, wandering around like old hippies on Telegraph Avenue. boat speed slowed, and tempers flared. Out came the light jibs and Code Zeros, and slowly, painfully, boat speeds started to pick up again. And then with subtle tinkling noise, the Lumpy Sea appeared. At first it was an annoyance- causing previously filled sails to flap a little. And then more of it arrived from a different direction. Boats began to pitch up and down, in opposition and at odd angles to the previous swell that the winds had created. Soon boats were rolling through large angles, twisting and jerking about like hooked trout. Delicate light air sails were being slapped and snapped, and dragged into and around the rigging. Sailors ran about the boats. Some wrestling with enormous poles, others dropping delicate sails and attempting to get flat jibs in place. Of course, nothing would really work. That was the point of it all! Skinner watched in fascination as the singlehanders tried first one thing and then another. Some broke down and sobbed like babies, but leaped back on deck when a competitor gained a mile. Others resorted to cursing so badly that Skinner had to stop recording the audio out of respect to his students. One stalwart lad even jumped into the water and started swimming towards Hawaii, towing his boat with a rope clenched in his teeth. I believe that sailor's name was Jack. Skinner had taken personality profiles of each sailor before the start, using the widely respected profiling firm of Latitude 38. Based on these detailed assessments of each characters skill, courage, committment, and pluck, he had ranked them from most likely to quit to those he felt were too insensitive to ever quit at anything. And so he waited eagerly for his first dropout. To his amazement, no one did! the boats continued to make painful progress towards the mythical "Islands of Beer", whose portent was the legendary "Tree". What sort of a tree it was, how big, how old, what it looked like, no one knew. They assumed it was probably green, since most trees are, but other than that they had no clue. None-the-less all the sailors were convinced that they would find this "Tree" and claim their reward. This persistence didn't sit very well with Skinner. He needed dropouts and statistics to write his paper. So he decided to cheat. After it's handlers wrestled the Lumpy Sea back into its cage, he restored a measure of the wind and waited until the sailors had begun to hope. And then he unleashed the Lumpy Sea! and then the wind, and more Lumpy Sea. Nothing worked! They wouldn't quit. So he resorted to additional stressors. He added the potential of Hurricaines on their weather charts. THey ignored them and continued on. He threw in the dreaded oscillating zephyr from 180 degrees apparent. They cursed mightily, but kept going. He unleashed the Lumpy Sea again and again. Other than beginning to really piss everyone off, there was little scientific effect. Finally Skinner threw in the towel. He had indeed, found subjects that were dumb as fenceposts. Sadly for his ambitions to prove that operant conditioning worked even here, his subjects proved too obstinate to train to do anything at all, except possibly to drink beer. Skinner gave up on trying to train singlehanded sailors and went back to chickens. At least they were edible, if braised in a white wine sauce with capers. Singlehanders, not so much. THe Lumpy Sea, however, was a wily beast. Eventually it escaped captivity and made it to the ocean.Over the years since it has become a malevolent force for despair and nihilsm in sailing races around the Globe. As for the sailors, when Skinner left the lab in disgust and turned off the simulators, they decided, after stumbimg around in the dark for a while, that the "Tree" was actually REAL, and finding it became a sort of Holy Grail for them. And thus was born and continues to this day the SingleHanded TransPac.