Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
Craig Fry
Trad climber
So Cal.
|
|
Here is the Depression Test
Answer honestly about how you feel,
not if it's Ok or not to think that, or if you will ever act on it (because it's just a feeling)
1. Do I hate everything?
2. Do I hate myself?
3. Do I wish I was dead?
If you answer all 3 with a yes, then you are depressed.
It works for me
Today I'm not depressed, no yeses.
|
|
Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
|
|
For me, depression was a multi year struggle, hindered by alcohol. When I finally righted my capsized ship, I had lost something that before then was integral to me. Empathy. I'm still working on it, but I found that in order to fix myself, I had to focus on me and me alone. The collateral damage was my interpersonal relations, and it's tough.
|
|
neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
|
|
hey there say, brandon_...
got me thinking... again, kind of like that 'get oneself' well first, and then, one can reach out to others... though, as you said, you miss out socially, then--but still, if one feels physically sick, one does need to take the down time, and miss the socialness, and thus, is strong again, to get out and about... :)
say, i thought this thread, might be of interst, to connect here:
i posted this, over there:
it seems that after reading about the vagus nerve, etc, that this thread might add a bit OF GOOD to that thread, as well...
so i will put a link, (so folks might like to cross on over, to here) if they want to read, over here... or not...
main thing, that i took note of, was the 'breathing and relaxing' that was mentioned...
kind of a good idea, for the depression, was:
learn to relax and you can think clearer, and your body will respond better, etc, --could also help one not feel the stress that can break one down, and make one more apt to feel depressed, too...
like to help find answers, work to help yourself learn to understand what could be wrong...
PERHAPS, ALSO... learning to relax, and not have the vagus nerve stimulated to much by strees and anxiety, perhaps can help... the body does know what it needs, and when this goes wrong, the whole body can fall out of peace...
here is the thread, and the discussion over there...
(i just got to thinking of all this, by reading some articles on the vagus nerve, which ksolem got me interested in learning more about--sure hope that might help, also) ...
one never knows, until they read up and try, ...
here's to so many good hopes for everyone, in whichever ways work, to get folks on a new path and out of depression...
http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=2651460&tn=20#msg2652549
http://www.innovateus.net/innopedia/what-function-vagus-nerve
|
|
Karen
Trad climber
Casper, Wyoming
|
|
|
Jul 18, 2015 - 07:03pm PT
|
The black pit of Hell has returned and I know why, began a job after having a long stretch off. This job is sucking the very life out of me. We are expected to perform at an unreal level that I do not feel I will be able to withstand.
There is nothing I can do, I took a huge risk and relocated for this job and now this...fukking depression again.
I cannot tell the people who love me for reasons I won't get into but to the point if a car ran over me I would not care.
The people who love me I just don't think they fully understand but I know you guys do and this is why I am reaching out, speaking out, there is some solace in that.
|
|
neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
|
|
|
Jul 18, 2015 - 07:08pm PT
|
hey there say, karen... oh my... everyone feels the very same--jobs like that, that suck your life out, are not good health, body or spirit-wise...
say, i am 'hitting the floor' now, and praying for this bad situation...
let's hope that someone something will 'shift over' and the trail will turn out better, before the burden becomes worse...
keep checking in... we will be here...
here i go... see you later... prayers prayers and more, it's all i know
to do... to help...
sending love and best wishes...
get as much rest in between hours and at least it can help the body function
better through this... then, talk yourself through a 'spring board' step each morning, before you leave...
|
|
BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
|
|
|
Jul 18, 2015 - 08:18pm PT
|
^^^well that's the best any of us can do for ya Karen:)
also, i know when i'm down in a funk and energy-less and can't think of any positive reason for going on. Especially to work a physically demanding job. i'll pray before leaving the house for God to clear my mind, and ask for His Spirit to fill me..
remember, we are first a natural man/woman, and second we are spiritual beings. We must realize we are materially susceptible to the ails of this body. BUT, just like Jesus we CAN overcome the grip of negativity, hate, fear, self-doubt, depression, AND death! God promised He'd fill anyone who asked to be Filled! So if God is True, He MUST be True to His Word. i no longer merely ask for His intercession. My faith has taken me to demand, or beg for His help according to the relevance of His word.
He has NEVER let me down.
i share this with you as my Truth.
BTW,when i leave the house and hop in my car i start singing the name Jesus i start with the lowest tone, right where i feel that deep blackness in the depths of my being. and stretch His name into a whole sentence.
J-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-s-s-s-s-u-u-u-u-u-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s
J-e-s-u-s
J-e-s-u-s
Brings me up everytime:)
|
|
neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
|
|
|
Jul 18, 2015 - 09:08pm PT
|
hey there say, jim... is there some kind of a 'watch dog' type thing, for folks to go to, when this stuff happens...
i had a friend of mine, stuck in something like this for years and it was frustrating, 'cause, if she did anything about the added 'was not part of job' stuff... well, she'd lose the job...
she got through it, with a lot of awful hard times, and a lot of crying, over the years, just to release pressure, and now, is higher up in the pecking order...
i think, there was some kind of an advocate there, though, for certain things, but she had to really watch it--
karen--she was so intent though, to support her child, she got through getting depressed, by sheer 'desperation' ... :(
and, i think her mom let her pour it out, over there, after work,
but--was not a just thing, at all... :(
|
|
Kalimon
Social climber
Ridgway, CO
|
|
|
Jul 18, 2015 - 09:12pm PT
|
Karen,
Sorry to hear of your struggle . . . you are not alone.
Do not forget that everything is temporary . . . particularly your "job".
If you are not happy with your situation, you can change it.
Best to you!
|
|
neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
|
|
|
Jul 18, 2015 - 11:54pm PT
|
hey there say, jim... thanks for sharing that...
and karen... still thinking about you... your'e not forgotten by us, even when we can't keep up, and post, perhaps during the week...
|
|
Karen
Trad climber
Casper, Wyoming
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 07:54am PT
|
Thank you for your responses. I don't feel so alone. Last night when it got so bad I called one of those help lines and cried, that helped too. However, today is my day off and I want to enjoy it unfortunately I am also on call 24/7 this week for that damn job, so can't get up into the mtns.
Looks like it will have to be the mall...
On a positive note: I did meet another Supertopo guy up here and we've hung out every weekend. He's seen my level of stress and knows how it is taking its toll on me but he doesn't realize my amount of depression. Due to the on call situation I was not able to stay with him due to no cell reception at his place.
Lastly, back to the whole job situation, I just don't understand how they don't realize what they expect is superhuman ultimately leading to burnout. Every week they pile more on me. I understand in the medical profession I am not alone, it seems to be the norm nowadays.
But now this damn depression has got me in its grip and I am going to need some help, soon.
|
|
Karen
Trad climber
Casper, Wyoming
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 08:24am PT
|
No, not a Doc the irony is I am an LMFT. They fukking work the Hell out of us, it is all about "productivity". I have clients back to back with no time for the mounds of paperwork and all the other sh#t they pile on us.
Yesterday I had to go into work -it was my day off- in order to catch up.
What isn't fair are the clients who see me towards the end of the day, they deserve more since by the time I see them I have nothing left.
|
|
John M
climber
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 08:50am PT
|
Hey Karen.. You have a lot of people pulling for you. Its often hard to start a new job. And especially the kind of job that you have as it is pretty typical to be overloaded. The work load is too big and the budget is too small. The people who do the best take the attitude of just doing the best that you can, and leaving the rest up to the universe. You have a heart for this kind of work, as you know how difficult things can be, but you won't be of any help if you burn yourself out. My advice would be to not give so much of yourself into each person you see, so that you end up exhausted. It is better to pace yourself, just like in a long climb. You aren't going to fix every person you see, certainly not in any single counseling session, so pace your self. Allow the patients to do more of the work. Help them to do more of the work. In the long run it will be better for them and for you and you will be empowering them, rather then care taking.
I hope that I am not overstepping. If I misunderstood your situation, then please forgive me.
|
|
johntp
Trad climber
socal
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 09:13am PT
|
This job is sucking the very life out of me.
Oh man! I can relate. I've never considered myself to be in a depressed state. I've been at the same job for 16 years. I used to love my job. But the whole work dynamic has changed and for the last year it is all I can do to drag myself into this hell hole. My performance sucks because I just don't care anymore. Management has taken the approach that they are shipping 70% of our work overseas and that the beatings will continue until moral improves.
I'm tired of sitting in a cubicle smaller than a couch and working on spreadsheets all day. The equivelent of TPS reports as it were.
Sitting in a cube on Sunday trying to get paperwork done so "Lumberg" will get off my ass.
I'm not sure if it is depression or I just hate my job and hate living in Orange county. Not sure what to do to change things; maybe if I could get a break from work I could figure it out.
I haven't sat by a mountain stream since Facelift 2104.
edit: I'm 56, so options are limited. Wish I would have moved to Mammouth when I was 30.
|
|
Brokedownclimber
Trad climber
Douglas, WY
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 09:29am PT
|
Karen-
John M summed it up nicely:
The people who do the best take the attitude of just doing the best they can, and leaving the rest up to the universe.
|
|
johntp
Trad climber
socal
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 12:27pm PT
|
even if it's just greeting people at Wal-Mart...
Welcome to Walmart. Get your sh!t and get out. Have a nice day!
|
|
johntp
Trad climber
socal
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 01:10pm PT
|
Karen-
You will make it. There are a lot of people here that have tread similar roads and are wiiling to throw you a belay.
Hang in there and cheers!
|
|
Brokedownclimber
Trad climber
Douglas, WY
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 01:14pm PT
|
Karen--
re: Johntp's comment:
On belay!
|
|
GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 01:25pm PT
|
I feel ya Karen, started a "real" job in Feb. 50+ hours a week and only mid-week days off so climbing ain't happenin, 11 hour shifts means 5 days a week I don't see a friend or do anything except deal with stress at work.
This isn't who I am or where I will always be. It's just what I'm doing right now. I give myself the chance to walk away, at any point, walk away and deal with the fiasco. Being broke and homeless really ain't that bad - kind of miss it.
I've given 6 months of my life, 6 months of my 30th year with this company where there was very little time for me. I think it's time to take Me back, and I think it'll suck to eat Top Ramen again but a lot of happy people eat Top Ramen...
|
|
Daphne
Trad climber
Northern California
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 01:35pm PT
|
Hi Karen
I send love and support.
It might be time to get back into therapy. I "see" someone in socal by phone. It works surprisingly well. Never woulda thunk it. In our profession we are usually way more comfortable giving the help than asking for it. Good for you for reaching out here.
Also, are you running 45 or 50 minute sessions? It's been a long time since I had to chart between sessions but if you could get a few notes done, practicing toward being able to do the absolute minimum needed to keep them off your back, you might be able to survive this. It's better to short each client by 2 minutes so you have the time between sessions to refresh yourself so you can last the day than over-give and run out of steam.
Practice the highest level of self care possible. Do what you would tell a client to do, using the same level of compassion toward yourself that you would for them.
|
|
johntp
Trad climber
socal
|
|
|
Jul 19, 2015 - 01:36pm PT
|
GDavis- Going through the same thought process.
I think it's time to take Me back
Thanks.
|
|
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!