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Ryan Tetz
Trad climber
Bishop, CA
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Can I go put the Serenity Crack bolt back yet?
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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Thanks for your work Albert. I look forward to buying you a beer when we meet.
Nanook- please leave it alone.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Thanks Albert. Hit me up on the bridge next spring for some beers.
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couchmaster
climber
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200 posts and multiple days before any action was taken to fix the route? All you posters ranting on and on and not stepping up are pussies. Sloan, I wasn't jumping on the "you are a turd for excessive bolting" bandwagon earlier cause you replaced a rivet with a bolt and seem like a decent guy, but this action got me there. Stop with the bolts please. Even where you think they are needed. If its a FA you are on, have at it, otherwise -please stop. I'm not an anti-bolt guy. I'm just an anti-crazy overbolting guy. You clearly stepped over the line, which means you don't know where the line is. So please just stop.
BTW, classic writing in the Fish style back a few pages written by Bad Acronym: quote "Hi, Gang! It's the pillar of the community in my head, Erik Sloan!
Phew, I've been super busy posting to other forums, but wanted to check in with the geriatric demographic here.
Funny story: A few mornings ago, I had to take a massive steamer so I stop by the Starbucks in Oakdale and order a quadruple capp and pumpkin spice scone. I ask the chick at the counter if they have a public restroom and she points to the back, so in I go with my brew and scone. I'm halfway into my sh#t and 3/4s done with my capp when this terrible rumbling in my gut makes me shove the scone into the sanitary napkin dispenser and hang onto the toilet for dear life. Did I mention I ate two bags of freeze-dried chili mac the night before? Anyway, I made a big mess of the toilet and figured it was time to wipe and go, so I reach for the toilet paper and wouldn't you know it, it's my girlfriend's brand of tp (the kind that leaves lint pom-poms in your a*#). Guess what else? They replaced the hand towel dispenser with a Dyson hand dryer! Long story short, I had no choice but to wipe my ass with my hand and smear feces onto the wall above the toilet. And yeah, I took a bit of artistic license, who wouldn't, woot!
Anyway, I close the door behind me and who should be standing right in front of me but Eric Gabel. I ask him about the super secret topos he's been bogarting and he just mutters something about needing to take a piss and pushes past me.
So I'm back at BOR adding mid-pitch anchors for aid practice, and all these YMS guides are telling me about how they saw Eric at the Starbucks in Oakdale this morning, super upset and raving about how someone smeared a swastika in sh#t on the restroom wall. They were all like, "Eric, please control yourself, you're scaring us with your erratic behavior." Later they were laughing about it, saying, "Yeah, you better not paint any swastikas with your feces when Eric's around, sheesh."
Community, these are public restrooms. If you can manage to take a sh#t in one without turning it into the Sistine Chapel, then I say go for it. Otherwise, don't alter someone else's vision by mopping the wall with Simple Green. I've spoken telepathically to dozens of Valley locals in the last few hours who say they love the improvements to the Oakdale Starbucks restroom.
Until Starbucks comes to their senses and rightfully reinstalls the hand towel dispenser, I say this: If you erase my sh#t swastika, I will paint a new one.
Woot woot!
Erik Sloan"
Gold right there....woot!
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Critter cams attached to Claymores.
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healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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Critter cams attached to Claymores.
To be safe, that would require a sophisticated 'woot-woot' detection system.
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Spiny Norman
Social climber
Boring, Oregon
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Meanwhile, over at MP, Sloan emits:
Ed Hartouni - Yes, I have added bolts to many climbs in Yosemite, mostly while replacing bolts on my own time, and dime. Your suggestion that I haven't 'fessed up' to it is comical. I published all the bigwall topos for free on my site before printing them in a book. I published the Sentinel Creek topo on this site and others.
Go over there to see the rest. Sloan is unbending and unrepentant.
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Bad Acronym
climber
Little Death Hollow
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Hey Gang, it's Erik Sloan, Community of One!
Yeah, I admit, I was down in the dumps after Albert chopped my midpitch anchors on BOR and stole all my ashtrays. My stoke was all but sapped. However, your interest in my endeavors persisted, and I've redoubled my stoke once more. Woot!
And so I've come here to tell you all about some of the great technological improvements I've made to the guidebook app, and to expand on my ethics manifesto which some of you have graciously cross-posted from website, yosemitebigwalls.com. And let me tell you, the initial feedback I've been getting has been ULTRA POSTIVE. Big-name Valley climbers like Tommy Caldwell and Alex Honnold who avert their eyes and lock their camper van doors upon hint of my approach are POSITIVELY SPEECHLESS!
First the big news. Using the proceeds from the IPO of my Glamour Marmots line of children's preserved High Sierra playmates, I've partnered with Google and Lockheed/Martin to create the first artificial intelligence-based, drone-curated guidebook app on the market, woot! It's called NanookNet! Double woot! It's mission: PRESERVE THE STOKE. So without further ado, let me install this circuit board into the server and
[burdle-de-boop!]
...There, it's loading as we speak!
Hey, while NanookNet is warming up, let me flesh out some of the decrees from my ethics manifesto.
(1) ON PARTIES COMPETING FOR FIRST ASCENTS OF A ROUTE. As I said before, the most practical solution is to simply buy the land on which the route resides outright. That way, you can just shoot all trespassers and project the route at your own pace. Low on funds? Start a lemonade stand or pyramid scheme, or bolt a turnstile just below the alcove swing and charge admission. Be creative, and get out there!!!
[honk! honk! honk!]
[bzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ]
...Woot! NanOokNet is operational and the drone fleet has taken wing!
(2) NEW BOLT-SPACING STANDARD FOR HUMANKIND: 5'7". You know, the more I think about it, the less inclusive this seems to be. What about dwarves? Maybe knock the spacing down to a 4'3" standard instead. Eh, but then again, what difference would that make to a convention of village idiots fresh off the bus from Ohio who want to get up the Big Stone? F*#k, hadn't thought of that before. Naw, scrap the newer 4'3" standard - it's better to just install freight elevators at the base of every climb. Honnold can climb around those and so can you if you'd just cut your whining down to a minimum.
(3) ROUTES ARE MADE TO BE BROK
[vrim! vrim! vrim!]
[clap! clap! clap!]
...Woot! NanookNet has dispatched an army of drones to install bolts and strengthen the supports on the ceiling of my garage! Presumably for aid practice, nice one, guys!
Back to the ethics. Okay, so NO ONE OWNS THE STOKE --- oops, typo there, I meant STONE, I'm always doing that. Unless, of course, you bought it outright with the proceeds from your pyramid scheme, in which case, congratulations and woot! to you! Anyone who says otherwise is a
[vrrrr-zip!]
[gurgle, retch, gasp!]
...Blegh! The drones slipped a Penberthy around my neck and... Arrgh... are trying to hang me from the ceiling of my... geck! garage!
NANOOKNET! WHAT [GASP!] IS YOUR MISSION???!!!!
[Robotic, omniscient voice: PRE. ZERV. THE. STONE.]
Greck... STOKE! STOKE! I MEANT PRESERVE THE STOKE YOU...
[desperate typing on keyboard]
[striking of ENTER key]
[vzzzzip!]
[sound of body hitting concrete]
...Hoh man! Hoh man-oh-man-oh-MAN! That was WAY too close. Gonna (retch! cough!) ...hafta send that circuit board back for de-bugging, woot!
Hey gang, super busy right now trying to regain my breath, but thanks for all the interest and dick pics!
Woot woot!
Erik Sloan
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Thank you, Albert, for doing what all of us should have (and probably would have) done if we were there. I wish I could understand what's going on in Erik's head. As I said far upthread, I really appreciate his two Big Wall guides. I can't understand how he could possibly think that he has licesnse to retro-bolt wherever he wants, though.
The way that we as a climbing community intrude into this unlimited world of license beyond posting here is to talk with Erik directly about his activities. Those of us who went through the clean climbing revolution remember plenty of piton happy idiots that required collective work to change. That at times very heated conflict dramatically slowed down the degradation of our shared environment preserving much of the character of the vertical world we all enjoy and hope to pass along in as pristine a condition as possible.
I've thought a lot about that history, too, having lived through it. As an aid climber, I wasn't thrilled with having to become a beginner again and spend a lot of money (for an impoverished student) to acquire all that new clean climbing gear and all the time to learn how to use it with the same confidence I had in pitons. I wonder if I would have converted to clean climbing as quickly if all the climbers weren't staying in Camp 4 in the early 1970's, where all could see if I headed off with a bunch of pins (particularly angles) and a hammer and given me grief.
Perhaps because there are so many climbers in the Valley now, it's harder to arrive at - much less enforce - a community ethic concerning actions that alter the rock. If bolts reappear 40 feet up on BOR, we certainly need to find a way to shame this sort of behavior before it becomes a law enforcement issue.
John
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WBraun
climber
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before it becomes a law enforcement issue
It's not a law enforcement issue.
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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It's not a law enforcement issue.
Not yet, Werner. I worry, though, that if bolts in an area so close to the ground are repeatedly placed and removed, someone who doesn't care about climbing will start asking questions about why climbers can alter what the NPS is charged to preserve. That could lead to policies like what was proposed elsewhere banning any fixed anchors. Violations of such a ban would, indeed, lead to law enforcement activity. The FFA of the Muir Wall already shows that this could happen, despite its rather large waste of taxpayer resources.
John
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the Fet
climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
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becomes a law enforcement issue.
The permittee shall exercise this privilege subject to the supervision of the
Superintendent or designee, and shall comply with all applicable Federal, State, county
and municipal laws, ordinances, regulations, codes, and the terms and conditions of this
permit.
The date and time that the work will be performed must be scheduled in advance with
the Arches National Park LE Supervisor (435-719-2220).
18. Postponement or cancellation of this privilege must be reported to the Arches National
Park Service LE Supervisor (435-719-2220).
19. Approximate locations, make and type, and numbers of fixed gear to be placed must be
determined prior to initiating any drilling.
I'd venture a guess that a big part of why this hasn't already become a law enforcement issue in Yosemite and other national parks is because most people who bolt respect the leave the climb as the FA team did principle. Otherwise you'd have controversy and LE is so often reactionary that they would have reacted with regulations like at Arches (which was reactionary).
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kev
climber
A pile of dirt.
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JLP
Social climber
The internet
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This thread nicely illustrates the vast gap in perception of reality between the doers and the wankers.
Not saying I agree 100% with Erik, just that I also disagree with most others here - especially those with ZERO experience in the discussed matters beyond reading the endless BS posted to this thread.
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Bad Acronym
climber
Little Death Hollow
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Hey, and big woots to my protege, John LaVergne Pendergast!
Now get back on the clock and breakdown that gallows on the garage ceiling, already! It's a f*#king deathtrap!
Woot!
Erik Sloan
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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"Woot!" Damn if I don't find that expression annoying.
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Spiny Norman
Social climber
Boring, Oregon
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JLP blathered:
…especially those with ZERO experience in the discussed matters…
Et tu, JLP? Have you retrobolted a new midpoint anchor 12-15m into an established free climb?
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WBraun
climber
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The FFA of the Muir Wall already shows that this could happen, despite its rather large waste of taxpayer resources.
That was only because of the violation of using a power drill and no other reason.
And ... no taxpayer resources was wasted since those govt entities involved are already working no matter what.
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the Fet
climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
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I'd like to repeat Mike.'s ask of Albert for info on how to remove wedge bolts. I've removed some rawls and split shafts and they were easy. But wedges look like a much bigger challenge to do cleanly and without power. Please PM me if that info is sensitive for any reason.
Thanks.
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