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Disaster Master
Social climber
Born in So-Cal, left my soul in far Nor-Cal.
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Dec 23, 2010 - 11:39pm PT
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Continued best wishes to all who struggle with the bottle.
At times I have been an every day or so drinker. At other times I have been a dedicated pub fly, with an engraved mug and regular seat at the bar.
THanks to resolve and a good woman, I got down to a couple daily beers.
Now after an on and off tappering off, I am on week 2 sans beer.
whenever I am wanting to drink I tell myself "It would only last a half hour or so. What a rip off." Silly trick, but it helps.
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Dec 23, 2010 - 11:43pm PT
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Staying clean through the holidays can be tough. Just hang with the right crowd and stay out of slippery places. 25 yrs last July 5th. Happy Holidays.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 24, 2010 - 01:38am PT
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Yeah,you're right, it doesn't work that way... But, on the other hand...just 2?
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Paul Martzen
Trad climber
Fresno
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Dec 24, 2010 - 11:58am PT
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So Hank, and others, tell us about some of the things that you are experiencing now, changes in your perceptions and feelings and awareness, that you are able to experience now that that you have been sober for this long. Things that you were not aware of and could not experience when you were drinking. What are some of the things that you like about your life when you are sober?
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Dec 24, 2010 - 02:51pm PT
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9 months, give or take. Plenty of hanging out with people who are drinking...first month was pretty rough, after that maybe one real bad craving.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 24, 2010 - 02:55pm PT
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9 months today.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 24, 2010 - 03:15pm PT
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No problem! No program, either. Just not drinking.
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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Dec 24, 2010 - 03:55pm PT
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YaY for sober holidaze!!!
What I have found, once I got a bit down the road in recovery, was that I can have the exact type of fun I was seeking through drinking, without taking a drop!
Not at first, mind you. I was terrified to be in social situations and I have at least one friend who I bailed out on because I could not show up to their event, so afraid of the sensations. It was BRUTAL, for me, to be in a social situation with more that 1 or 2 other people, before I was sober and in the first couple years of sobriety.
The thing that helped me, and continues to, was doing service. I used it as a cape to masquearde behind at first. Service - at the group level and even beyond - is one hell of a crutch to prop oneself up. It gave me the feeling of like..."It's okay(for me to be here). I'm with the band."
In doing that service - and gawd was I awkward at first - I did begin to have the experiences that helped me to learn how to interact with others. Strange as it may seem - for some of us, it is like we really did not get that software installed into our operating system.
At any rate - the holidays can be truly difficult times, for alchies, sober alchies, and even(gasp!) regular folks! Things that can help:
 Bookend Stressful situations - Have a trusted person you call before heading in, who is waiting to hear back from you after you've left(and can be there for an emergency call during, if needed).
EAT beforehand - do NOT go to a party hungry. Who knows what ca-rap they may or may not be serving, or how l,ong they will keep you waiting before placing one teensy tray of cheese and crackers out for the hungry masses.
Have something to drink! Non-alcoholic, of course(and remember - non-alcoholic beer is for non-alcoholics!). At a party - plain tap water just sometimes does NOT cut it. Even adding a slice of citrus will help, but if you like, bring some juice to mix with a carbonated water for a nice cocktail. Cranberry and orange juice is actually great, and doesn't even NEED the vodka!!! It's not that we DON'T drink - we don't drink booze! So if your host asks if you'd like a drink, say "Please - a cranberry/seltzer if you have it!" But don't count on friends who are not used to serving non-booze at parties to have something for you - BYO! They may also be uncomfortable asking if they can get you something to drink.... Don't be afraid to serve yourself.
Remember - you're sobriety is Just For Today. If you get antsy, remind yourself that Just for Today, you can stay away from that drink. If you still want it tomorrow; it's there waiting for you....
Happy Sober Holidays to All!
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snakefoot
climber
cali
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Dec 24, 2010 - 04:03pm PT
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keep on it.
so fun to hang with you at the DZ where your lady is having a blast playing in the squirrel suit
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Dec 24, 2010 - 04:06pm PT
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Ran into Hank and his wife at the gym a couple of weeks ago. They look awesome. It was truly a holiday gift to see them together, healthy and happy. Thanks for that Hank!
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Dec 24, 2010 - 04:10pm PT
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Largo,
What does that mean? Did you fall off, forgive yourself and get back on?
-----
Nope, I didn't go out. I can't. My main problem was drugs, and I put those down before my first daughter was born, and she's 22 (took two tries to quit the sauce, however, before I had the "realization at depth" that I simply could not drink - at all.) Unfortunately, I'm a genuine addict/drunk, so if I go out, I'm hosed. So one day at a time . . .
And three cheers to Hank and Bob and everyone else counting months or days.
Happy Holidays, amigos!
John
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bmacd
Trad climber
100% Canadian
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Dec 24, 2010 - 04:28pm PT
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116 days
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pyrosis
Trad climber
Bishop, CA
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Dec 24, 2010 - 04:47pm PT
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Much respect to everyone walking this road: Hank, BVB, Largo, Jaybro, and all the others. Your stories and the desire to better yourselves is an inspiration to me. Thank you for what you have shared here.
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Brokedownclimber
Trad climber
Douglas, WY
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Dec 24, 2010 - 05:15pm PT
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My ultimate respect for those who are actually CONFRONTING the problem in their lives, and are not in denial (not the river in Africa, either!)
For those actually old enough to remember Pogo Possum,: "We have met the enemy, and he is US." This held true for many of my family members who were W.W. II veterans, and they were heavy boozers.
So...cheers, Hankster, even though we haven't ever met. For your very strongest support group, go look in a mirror while you are sober.
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Chief
climber
The NW edge of The Hudson Bay
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Dec 24, 2010 - 07:55pm PT
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Hank, Largo, Jaybro, bmacd,
Way to go guys, thanks for sharing.
Someone told me the other day they heard I was "on the wagon".
Hell of a thing to say to a wagon burner.
A wagon is just a vehicle from one drunk to another.
Just had more than my share for a while.
Best of the holiday season to all.
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Dec 24, 2010 - 10:26pm PT
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bmacd and Jaybro congrats. Merry Christmas!!!
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pat
Trad climber
estes park
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Dec 24, 2010 - 10:30pm PT
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I have to chime in here, alcoholism is a touchy topic for me, this is my own personal story.
I checked in to AA at 29 after trying and failing to stay sober on my own several times. I am 31 now and it has been almost two years for me since I took my last drink. I spent about 10 years from my late teens to my late twenties getting hammered as often as possible. It started out innocently enough, but by the time I was twenty five I knew I was developing a problem. It took four more years of being consistently drunk six nights a week to really start to come to terms with what was going on. I thought I was quite young for AA (not really, they have teenagers from time to time) but looking back, swallowing my pride and going and stopping was the hardest and the best thing I ever did for myself.
Sobriety is really difficult. Staying away from a drink when you are an alcoholic or have alcoholic tendencies is a far more fundamentally difficult task in every way than trying to hold your alcohol "like a man" and I have infinitesimal respect for anyone who tries it, even if they fail a few times at first. I wear my two year badge (one more month) with a lot of pride, my life has improved in innumerable ways.
My trick is simple, I work part-time in a local hospital in the Intensive Care Unit (on my way to becoming a nurse). Of course intensive care is, well, intensive care, for really sick people, many of whom are young and in their last days of a life cut short by end-stage chronic or acute disease. Some are alcoholics. Almost no one dieing from a condition related to alcoholism dies peacefully, and death from chronic liver failure or any other innumerable conditions linked to alcoholism is one of the worst with prolonged conscious suffering. Its a really sad, and far too common sight to see where I work, and I thank god every day I was able to get sober.
So anyway, to everyone on this thread fighting this fight, stay strong and be proud.
-Patrick
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marv
Mountain climber
Bay Area
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Dec 24, 2010 - 10:35pm PT
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hey Pat, thanks for sharing your experience. I don't know you, but I know friends whose lives were and are wrecked from drinking. Hang in there. I'm pulling for you. I hope it works out.
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TYeary
Social climber
State of decay
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Dec 24, 2010 - 11:07pm PT
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Hank, you got a huge support net here. The bad news is you got to do the hard lead by yourself. I was out with Largo, Dwight and friends one evening a while back, and while we tossed back Black and Tans, John had a diet coke. I could tell he was mildly uncomforatble, but he was tough. You can do this, Bro. You are one tough SOB.
While we have never met, we are brothers in arms.
TY
PS, Merry Christmas!
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jtlocal
Trad climber
Joshua Tree
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Dec 25, 2010 - 12:01am PT
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Hank, just know that you never have to do it alone.
I've been clean and sober since 3-21-01. Best years of my life.
Pray often.
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