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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Feb 14, 2009 - 01:51am PT
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Damn funny! Hey Anders, I know all the pastas, but you can still come over here and see who does what to who's ass.
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Clint Cummins
Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
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Feb 14, 2009 - 03:23am PT
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Cool. I think I score 3.5 points (many half points). Not sure how to score #5, because I don't drink coffee.
Of course, this is more like a "brute fashion test", of conformity to stereotypes like we see in beer ads on TV.
There's a thread on a runner's forum where they have been discussing "epic confrontations", where people are out on training runs and get taunted for "gay shorts" or just called gay I guess because they are out running instead of driving a pickup truck? Conformity has its drawbacks....
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andanother
climber
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Feb 14, 2009 - 08:05pm PT
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#1. Not 40 yet, so I can't answer. But if I live that long, there's a good chance I'll fail this test. So, I guess I'm on my way to being queer. Damn metabolism. Also, I think this one should be expanded to any "man" that has a membership to a health club.
#2. Fail. I'm queer.
#3. Are you f*#king kidding me? Baby pacifiers? Ring pops? WTF? If you're sucking on one of those things as an adult, then being gay is the least of your concerns.
#4. Pass. I'm straight. Though in light of recent Republican rendezvous, this one should be modified.
#5. Pass. Latte's make me gassy. Not that I'd know or anything.
#6. Pass. Sort of. Any climber/mountaineer will be able to name textiles other than cotton or denim, so that one needs to be altered to accomodate for REAL men. Not those faggy man-kissing cowboys.
#7. I prefer a (ahem) "Stick" shift, if you catch my drift. Can't man-handle that stick without taking one hand off the wheel. Pass.
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andanother
climber
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Feb 14, 2009 - 08:14pm PT
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And what's gayer:
Owning a cat, or owning a chihuahua?
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dmalloy
Trad climber
eastside
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Feb 14, 2009 - 08:34pm PT
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" So, I guess I'm on my way to being queer. Damn metabolism."
Don't worry - by the time you are 40, that metabolism will change....
Having a chihuahua is definitely more gay than having a cat - unless the cat is a Siamese or a Persian, in which case the only dog that is more gay is a toy poodle with fur died an unnatural color.
See - SuperTaco has all the answers....
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 14, 2009 - 08:57pm PT
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I can't judge since I am very prejudice against chihuahua. I was regularly bitten by one until at the age of seven I had enough and made a field goal with it. The owner really hated me for it but since the dog had been drawing blood... Well, I had the right to kick it.
AF
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pc
climber
East of Seattle
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Feb 15, 2009 - 12:23am PT
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What about the over compensation crowd. You know, the "guys" who have their pitbullbearwolf dogs hangin' out the back of their monster4x4pickupabunchobeer truck. Pfft. Tinkerbells. ;)
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Feb 15, 2009 - 12:30am PT
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It sounds like we may soon expect a "101 uses for a dead chihuahua" thread.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Feb 15, 2009 - 12:33am PT
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I can assure you; 230 grains is 230 grains.
It'll still come atcha pretty straight. LOL
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Rudder
Trad climber
Santa Rosa, CA
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Feb 15, 2009 - 02:39am PT
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Anastasia wrote: ""If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. ... (Funny thing is... One of my gay friends sent this to me!)""
Hi Anastasia, yes, my gay friend has told me the same thing!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Feb 15, 2009 - 03:15am PT
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Annie's on a rip on V-day. . .who forgot you?
That bum, dump him Annie!!!!
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rick d
climber
tucson, az
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Feb 15, 2009 - 12:14pm PT
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ultimate man test question:
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth.
You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 15, 2009 - 01:32pm PT
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C) A man would take it apart...
------------
Thanks people! I had a great V-day. I am treated very well over here and with all this Happy Valentines from all of you... I am happy and feeling blessed.
Thanks for being such great friends,
Anastasia
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Thorgon
Big Wall climber
Sedro Woolley, WA
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Feb 15, 2009 - 10:36pm PT
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Anastasia~
"3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag."
Now I'm worried about my Cohiba Cigars?? Help please!!
Thor
P.S. I passed the rest of the test, what is fuchsia, anyway??
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Curt
Boulder climber
Gilbert, AZ
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Feb 15, 2009 - 10:43pm PT
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Too bad I'm married, I think I love you.
Curt
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pip the dog
Mountain climber
the outer bitterroots
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Feb 16, 2009 - 01:56pm PT
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not sure how to score this test (and i _need_ to know)
me, i'm:
Y on #1
N on #2
N on #3
Y on #4 (hell, i've taken a dump into a paper bag on a too small ledge with 2 "guy buddies" leaning on me)
N on #5
Y on #6 (recently painted my sweethearts bedroom "sunset turquoise" -- choice #34 of 70 paint samples)
N on #7
so what is it? am i gay? should i dump my current hottie sweetie of the opposing gender -- and stick my tongue in the ear of my long time climbing buddy the next time we're in yet another clastrophobic snow cave?
from what i've been told, i'd be the last to know.
yet "I's gottsta knows" (from the first 'Dirty Harry' film, as said by the guy staring at Harry's '44 the first time)
^,,^
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tolman_paul
Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
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Feb 16, 2009 - 02:55pm PT
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Pretty funny, I think I've seen this one before.
1. I'm fast approaching 40 and haven't had a washboard stomach for over 20 years.
2. My kids have cats, does that count? When I was reading the taco this morning both the dog and cat were pestering me for attention. What do you call it when the cat jumps on your lap and you are petting both of them at the same time? I definately have a penchant for pussy.
3. I love ribs. I also have a great respect for my Yupic brothers, any culture that has a word such as pukuk, which translates as eating meat clinging to a bone is a great people.
4. I've never had an issue as to where I go, you gotta go, you gotta go.
5. I like my coffee like I like my men, strong and black ;)
6. I do have a sweet tooth and like good food, so guess that means I get some gay points for bananas foster, tiramisu, soufle, flan et al.
7. I'm more likely to have no hands on the wheel than two, thats what knees are for.
8. I started learning french, so maybe I am turning gay.
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bluNgoldhornet6
Big Wall climber
Tampa, Fl
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Feb 17, 2009 - 03:53pm PT
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lol "dying to tune a meat whistle.", "handing out free ass passes" too funny!!!!
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