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Gene
climber
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Mar 15, 2007 - 10:25pm PT
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It's all about Carl Rove and freakin' GOP family values. Ever since HD split from Whole Dome, she's had a bullseye on her beautiful face.
And they thought the cables would tie her down. Loosers!
No surprise HD is gone. The only wonder is why it took then so long.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Mar 15, 2007 - 10:46pm PT
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You're ALL wrong.
It was hushed up but HD is outta here for using an ethnic slur calling Quarter Dome "sedementary"!
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Mar 15, 2007 - 10:50pm PT
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Half Dome on the rocks. I never thought I'd see the day. All those years rocking and rolling, and it's come to this. Ground by glaciers. Missing her better half. Pinpricked by people. She endured it all, standing with her head proud above her valley. But, buffetted by bureaucracy, what can she do?
I'm guessing that one of those other, lesser rocks, is behind it all. Oh sure, they all say "Half Dome's great. We love her. She's what means the Valley, to the world." But really they all have igneous envy. Maybe El Cap had something to do with it - he's been going around muttering "My face is higher than hers, that b. So what if she's higher?" Soon he'll find out what a fair weather friend his co-conspirator the Sentinel really is. Thick as thieves, those two.
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randomtask
climber
North fork, CA
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Mar 16, 2007 - 01:01am PT
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Piton Ron:
Are you serious? Did she really say the "S" word? I have always thought HD was an ok gal even despite her personality...but this? The ACLU will be all over her if this gets out. Last time I heard anyone cal someone else "sedimentary" was on a Discovery Channel program about the KKK. Come to think about it, I have seen the mags with pictures of HD and Mel Gibson together drinking. What's she so stuck up about anyways? Everyone knows she's so easy she's got a "regular route".
-JR
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Festus
Mountain climber
San Diego
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Mar 16, 2007 - 02:43pm PT
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NPR is reporting that HD was attempting to slackline the Grand Canyon when the cable snapped. Lees Ferry to Phantom Ranch is now a slowly rising lake and the National Park Service is accepting bids from boat dock and marina operators, fast food chains, and Haliburton. Non-motorized canyon float trips are now taking six to eight weeks, and consist of galley slave rowing, a harrowing mid-trip rappel, and a longass burro ride to Lake Mead. However, the scenery remains impressive and there will be no reduction in user fees. HD is currently in contract negotiations to make this arrangement permanent.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Mar 16, 2007 - 02:47pm PT
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"Non-motorized canyon float trips are now taking six to eight weeks, and consist of galley slave rowing, a harrowing mid-trip rappel, and a longass burro ride to Lake Mead. "
First the good news. Extra rations for all the rowers, for lunch.
Now the bad news. The captain wants to go water-skiing after lunch.
Edit: Looks to me like the exclamation marks are standing up for themselves, just fine.
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JuanDeFuca
Big Wall climber
Stoney Point
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Mar 16, 2007 - 02:51pm PT
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The real story is Half Dome found out that El Cap is making twice as much money. How did she find this out? You will need to talk to Washington Column. What an Asshole.
Well when 1/2 Dome found out about the pay difference she threatened to Exfoliate a huge slab down onto Mirror lake.
The park service well aware of the last disgruntled rock formation took the threat very seriously. True Glacier point had a drinking problem, and was tired of having sh#t drain down inside of him. But that was no excuse.
JDF
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L
climber
Sesame Street
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Mar 16, 2007 - 02:51pm PT
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Someone needs to warn eKat to plan for a much longer trip.
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 16, 2007 - 02:51pm PT
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Donny you little scamp. Stop tryin' to make trouble.
You do enough of that when posting as Crowley.
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A(ndanother) Crowley
Gym climber
YourNightmares
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Mar 16, 2007 - 03:02pm PT
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HAHA, Billy's an idiot. Don't insult me with this Donny talk.
He's an idiot too!
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Bear 46
Social climber
Yosemite
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Mar 16, 2007 - 04:16pm PT
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Awww shiiiet. I didn't want to comment on this, since it would blow my source and all.... BUT the truth is HD and the Park Service have been on the outs since the PS let tourons burn all the trees on it's summit.
HD... great place to ambush snack toten' tourons... I'll miss you buddy.
Bear 46
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L
climber
Sesame Street
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Mar 16, 2007 - 04:30pm PT
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eKat--To think you get to raft the CO river and climb Half Dome, all on the same trip!!!! It just don't get no better than that!
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mooch
Big Wall climber
The Immaculate Conception
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Mar 16, 2007 - 06:26pm PT
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"C'mon everybody knows Half Dome is a SHE, a little respect here. I hear she's pretty broken up over the whole thing. Look at the upside though maybe now they'll finally pave a road from the Ahwahnee to the Meadows."
So the Diving Board was just for looks? Naughty! Absolutely naughty!
Dingus, didn't Brutus have some kind of fling with HD? Word? Ouch!....help a brutha out!!
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GhoulweJ
Trad climber
Sacramento, CA
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Mar 16, 2007 - 10:38pm PT
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Jerry Fallwell comments and I quote
"It's about time they remove Half Dome from Yosemite. A national park that attracts families is no place for half a butt to be on display or climbed"
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Standing Strong
Trad climber
Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn
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Mar 17, 2007 - 04:52pm PT
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poor half dome. perhaps she isn't stuck up. perhaps she's just protecting herself.
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Mar 18, 2007 - 05:30pm PT
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I can't believe it, a lot of Supertaco posters have been on top of this woman, and are bemoaning the fact that she is worried about this development.
Here are the hard facts.
This woman is hard, those who have ridden her many features should know that. She has weathered many a storm and break ups, and she also knows when she has choss to sluff off. She ain't no soft desert sandstone maiden that falls apart after a spell of tears from heaven, she is granite for gawd's sake. She will move on as surely as the glaciers that helped to carve her beautiful shape.
Half Dome will weather this situation better than the bureaucrats who decided to ditch her. They will be the ones who fall by the wayside. She will be there longer any of those NP jerks in the Ditch will be.
Let's all raise a glass to the grand old lady's resilence, she sure commands the valley better than any other feature, save the Captain, and even then she rises higher. She is the queen on the throne.
Perhaps an analogy may be that she is the Elizabeth to the Captain's Raleigh - or perhaps Lord Essex.
And she does aim to please. There aren't many nicer and enjoyable climbs around than Snake Dike. That lady has it. She rocks.
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 27, 2007 - 01:56pm PT
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anonymous p*ssy bump'n'delete of my own thread . . . hahahahahahahahahahaha
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Chico
Trad climber
Mt. Shasta, CA
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Mar 27, 2007 - 02:36pm PT
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I call BS for a few reasons:
1)Yosemite still needs Half Dome so they can still sell refrigerator magnets and postcards, why would they fire it?
2)Ask any of the other formations what they know about it...(sound of crickets)... nothing, because it didn't happen. Someone would at least told El Cap.
3)Could the NPS really fire Half Dome? I mean c'mon, it's been around for so long, attended all the christmas parties, and has just been an all around ambassador for the park. I suppose the NPS can do whatever it wants, I mean, It's a Federal agency and all. They could get rid of bear boxes if they want, I just think it would be an exceedingly bad move.
Pfft. I'll believe it when I see it.
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 27, 2007 - 02:52pm PT
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Hi all - here's an update on Half Dome's situation.
She has refused to leave the Valley. NPS has started eviction proceedings. This is too sick for words.
But it gets worse. NPS has cut off HD's monthly stipend, so she's hard up. Word is she's been subsisting on all the cans of Spahgetti-O's and blueberry pie filling left by climbers in all her nooks and crannies. Once that ran out, she sold her 'naming rights' to some dot-com wankers.
So as of yesterday, HD's beauty has been besmirched:
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Mar 27, 2007 - 03:41pm PT
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EMPLOYMENT APPLICATION
TO: YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK
RE: HALF DOME JOB
To whom it may concern:
I am applying for the position of Half Dome in Yosemite National Park.
Currently I employed by the city of Cincinnati. You will notice that in spite of me being made of limestone and not granite, my resemblance to your famous landmark is extraordinary.
While I am somewhat smaller than your previous employee, you will notice that I have some fine offwidth cracks up my front, not to mention a really bitchin' clock that lots of people will check out regularly.
I have no objection to the installation of a seasonal cable ladder up my backside, and a bit of cement and craftsmanship could could create a Snake Dike on my facing side.
I look forward to your consideration.
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