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guyman
Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
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Sep 28, 2017 - 01:12pm PT
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Avery. Hang tough.
Go to the mountains, soak them up, refresh your soul, watch a sunset, wait for the sunrise, soak up some more.. repeat this everyday.
Hoping for the best outcome.
Guy Keesee
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Andy de klerk
Mountain climber
South Africa
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Sep 28, 2017 - 01:13pm PT
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Avery
Thinking of you and all of our coms over the last few years
The sun always rises
You'll find the sun again
Andy
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L
climber
Tiptoeing through the chilly waters of life
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Sep 28, 2017 - 03:49pm PT
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Patrick,
I still have that guide book you sent me, and I'm still planning on using it, possibly next year. It would be great if you stick around and help me not get lost.
Laura
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Sep 28, 2017 - 04:56pm PT
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hey there, say, brian... i had wondered why we had not heard from him...
(i had sent him a painting, a few years back, and tried to just keep
in touch, as we are like a community here, to help each other) ...
very sorry to hear this...
it might help to know, that he has tried to ask for help, before...
so at least he has tried...
thank you for sharing with us...
keep contact so we will know how he is doing...
prayers, and hang in there...
:(
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Sep 28, 2017 - 05:05pm PT
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hey there say, avery... and, a post for you, too...
just shared with your brother, first, here, as in case you are not
up to reading yet--
i have a friend that lives in another state...
she said the thing that helped her the most, was this:
when she felt like killing herself, she went directly to someone
she knew and told them, and did NOT care what they must have thought...
she just needed them to know, so she could stop that urge that she could not
control... they, each time, got her someone to talk too, and they talked
through it...
PLEASE, do, when you feel this way, please GO to someone directly and
just don't be ashamed to say 'help me'...
SHE IS still here, after all those times, and has HAD THAT CHANCE to
work through what was 'triggering' her...
our hopes and prayers, avery/patrick are for this SUCCESS for you, too...
find the trigger... that leads to the key 'deactivating that desire' and then:
hope can step in and grow...
growing will keep you strong...
and--wise...
thus, you can be aware if anything new triggers you, again...
she can catch her triggers now, over all these nearly 30 years,
and, with hope and prayers, YOU CAN too...
amen...
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Ezra Ellis
Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
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Sep 28, 2017 - 06:15pm PT
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Avery , I have always enjoyed your presence here and your posts .
I know you are a good man , hang in there.
Things will get brighter.
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mike m
Trad climber
black hills
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Sep 28, 2017 - 08:26pm PT
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Avery so sorry to hear of your struggles. I did mental health work for a long time and firmly believe in eating right, getting some exercise and doing some fun stuff can help as much as any therapy or medication in many circumstances. I know it is not always easy to do but I wish you the best of luck. Little victories can make a big difference.
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Delhi Dog
climber
Good Question...
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Sep 29, 2017 - 12:28am PT
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Yeah nice job nut. Well stated.
But I've come to expect that from you and your posts.
I hope Avery gets a chance to peek in on this thread at some point.
Lots of positive vibes being sent your way!!
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skywalker1
Trad climber
co
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Sep 29, 2017 - 12:35am PT
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Hey Avery,
We love you and want you to know that.
S...
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JLyons
Sport climber
Cali
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Sep 29, 2017 - 07:28am PT
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I wasn't trying to be a d#@&%ebag, I just wouldn't be surprised if this was Avery posting in jest, trying to get a reaction from the taco. I hope I'm right, and based on the way his other posts went it would make sense
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c wilmot
climber
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Sep 29, 2017 - 07:56am PT
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How would his brother know his password?
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monolith
climber
state of being
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Sep 29, 2017 - 08:37am PT
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The taco cookie keeps you logged in always, unless you request logout. That's how DMT got caught using the Lady Scarlet account. He forgot to log out.
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ionlyski
Trad climber
Polebridge, Montana
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Sep 29, 2017 - 08:39am PT
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Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
Avery, we love you man. Keep posting. How about a desert tower series?
Arne
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phylp
Trad climber
Upland, CA
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Sep 29, 2017 - 08:46am PT
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"How would he know his password" You have to be kidding, right?
Beside the completely obvious autofill on every smart device and computer on the planet, My husband and my sister have the passwords to every account I own. There are these things, called "emergencies", that people prepare for. Like, people you love that don't live with you often have a key to your house.
I don't know how it works in New Zealand, but I know from experience that in the US, a suicide attempt can result in a 3 day involuntary hold, after which you may or may not be released, depending on whether you are still considered a danger to yourself at that time.
I have had relatives held 3 days to 10 days under such circumstances, and you do not have your phone. You don't have a computer and you don't have shoelaces. The drawstrings are taken out from pants and hoodies. Clothing with zippers pulls that could be sharpened are not allowed.
The last time this happened, the person in question gave their phone to me with the unlocking passcode so I could communicate on their behalf. Just because you are suicidal doesn't mean you are unconscious or unable to communicate your thoughts.
Avery, when you are able to see these messages, I hope you will feel the caring people have for you. You have been here long enough to know that there are always a few insensitive posters. You can sometimes take these too much to heart. Please ignore them and focus on the positive.
Phyl
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L
climber
Tiptoeing through the chilly waters of life
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Sep 29, 2017 - 09:52am PT
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Depression is a relentless, insidious killer. It's real, and it's pervasive.
If you're biologically/genetically susceptible to it, it's a lifelong companion cradling a dagger at your back.
You will not always know what will set it off. Although science has done a good job of guessing at the triggers, it has not discovered them all, nor has medical science cured depression.
For those of you who haven't experienced the devastating effects of having a self-murdering mind, and feel the need to question the OP's motives, it would be an act of the greatest compassion if you would just leave this thread alone.
Let the people who care about Avery have a little time with him here.
Thanks.
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Chief
climber
The NW edge of The Hudson Bay
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Sep 29, 2017 - 10:07am PT
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My youngest brother took his own life in 1999.
Our family was devastated and carries a wound that will never completely heal.
Wishing Avery and his family the best.
PB
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John M
climber
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Sep 29, 2017 - 10:33am PT
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Depression is a relentless, insidious killer. It's real, and it's pervasive.
If you're biologically/genetically susceptible to it, it's a lifelong companion cradling a dagger at your back.
You will not always know what will set it off. Although science has done a good job of guessing at the triggers, it has not discovered them all, nor has medical science cured depression.
For those of you who haven't experienced the devastating effects of having a self-murdering mind, and feel the need to question the OP's motives, it would be an act of the greatest compassion if you would just leave this thread alone.
Let the people who care about Avery have a little time with him here.
Thanks.
This is worth rereading multiple times. L.. you have very good mother bear energy.
There is one thing that I disagree with what she wrote and that is that depression is a life long companion. I don't believe this. I fully believe that I will beat it. And am beating it. Though it is insidious and still hangs around.
Avery.. though it feels like its whupping you at times, you can beat this. And so what if it won a battle or two, you are still here so it hasn't won everything. And even if you wanted it to win, there are days when the sun shines and you can feel the joy of living. So I hope that you will reach for those days and don't let that rat bastard of suicidal energy win.
And as for the Taco.. Look at DMT's post. If you have followed his posts over the years, then you will have seen that for some reason a few posters don't like him and have come after him at times with a vengeance. ( I am not talking about monolith here )... DMT has learned to deal with peoples hate. He doesn't get bitter. He rarely ever gets mean anymore. He tries to defends himself with dignity and with laughter. I respect him for that. Its something to learn. We could all use a bit of that knowledge.
If you were here when I first joined the forum, I was very bitter at life for my health problems, both physical and mental. I hung it out here more then once and looked like a whiney bitch at times. (some people probably still think that I am a whiney bitch.. hahaha.. some folks have long memories and can't let stuff go ) But I learned. and so have others. And so can you. How to roll with the punches. Even the punches life deals you. Get up off the mat Avery. learn to duck and weave with grace and rejoin the living. Life might surprise you when you least expect it. You might find that you like it. And once you beat that rat bastard suicide and depression, then you become an example for others who are dealing with it. Because there are all too many on this planet dealing with it. The climbing community should be very aware of this. Plenty of well respected and well liked people have succumbed to it. So its a fight. Shakespeare even described it. To Be or Not to Be. That is the question. "Being" can be tough. Especially when there is a rat bastard out there like depression and it takes up residence in your mind. So I won't sugar coat it. Its a grade six A5 climb. It high altitude alpine. You just took a big whipper. Now its time to get up and keep climbing. The top is worth it, though when you are beat, and cold, and tired, and sick, it may not seem like it. And getting to the top sometimes means retreating for awhile. I always think about Donnini's picture of him in that snow cave, when he was sick and it was desperate. You know the one. He fought through, though they had to retreat. He retreated so that he could live and try again another day. Live Avery. Retreat when you have to and live so that some day you can get to the top. The view is so much better above the clouds.
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Mei
Trad climber
mxi2000.net
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Sep 29, 2017 - 12:38pm PT
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Brian, I'm sorry to hear about your brother Avery. I hope for the best outcome for him, you, and your family who are all coping.
Maybe the positive support from this virtual community as shown in this thread can bring some light into his dark world that he cannot seem to get out of at times.
I know you did not come here to ask for suggestions and solutions, but a thought came to me and I can't help but put it out there, esp. if the loved ones are scratching their heads wondering what could help Avery. Do you think it would help to introduce one or two rescued animals (esp. cats or dogs) that are in need of care into his life? In my untrained point of view, a person is willing to take his own life because he does not feel a need to be in this world. Even if he realizes that his action may bring pain to people who love him, he also understands that pain will fade and everybody will move on with their lives without him eventually. But that perception might change once he bonds with companion animals and feels being needed and depended on by another loving and trusting living creature. Some animals do have that magic power to make you feel that you are indispensable to them, and that sometimes is enough of a reason to live on.
Best wishes!
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thebravecowboy
climber
The Good Places
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Sep 29, 2017 - 05:47pm PT
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I am all in favor of an Avery exposition of desert tower goodness.
Speaking from myownlifeself: F*#k depression and exiting life early by choice - do what it takes to stay with us here.... You obviously love those mountains and wild places just like the rest of us. Stay here with our imperfect tribe of enthusiasts.
Best to you, Brian, for sharing and bearing this tough stuff.
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Rocky IV
Social climber
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Sep 29, 2017 - 05:56pm PT
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Avery, you are one of the very best aspects of this forum, reaching out and compiling scattered fragments of information into one clear and concise package. Stick around, you seem like a good soul.
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