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Chicken Skinner
Trad climber
Yosemite
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Dec 13, 2006 - 12:03am PT
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I think it is spelled Deux. No offence. Sorry, my grandmother was a french and english teacher. I had hoped I wouldn't be so lame, says something for training.
Ken
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john hansen
climber
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Dec 13, 2006 - 12:07am PT
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Priest's , women, lawyers ,blonds, and even dead babies, seem to me OK targets . But when the "N " word is used I think you go beyond offensive, and into the relm of racism. At that point it is simply no longer a joke but a flat out insult.
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Jarhead City, CA
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Dec 13, 2006 - 12:18am PT
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Take a powder ballhugger. Offensive means offensive and racist connotations are certainly offensive to most. This ain't kindergarten, nancyboy and "too far" is the entire point.
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mooser
Trad climber
seattle
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Dec 13, 2006 - 12:19am PT
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I have a mentally-challenged sister who's been called a "retard," and I have known lots of people who've been pretty horribly abused as children. Jeez...have you actually told some of these jokes out loud?
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john hansen
climber
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Dec 13, 2006 - 12:32am PT
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A city guy had made it big and bought a spread up in Big Sky Country. After he'd been there a couple days he saw a cowboy riding in from across the range. He pulled up and said " Howdy nieghbor, I live on the next ranch over and I'd like to invite you over for a party on friday night. "
City guy goes "yeah sure"
Cowboy say's " I gotta warn ya.. there's going to be lots of drinking..."
City guy: "I can handle my liquor"
Cowboy say's " There might be some fighting going on..."
City guy: " Well, I've been in a brawl or two..."
Cowboy says " Might even be some fu#king going on too."
City guy: " Sounds like a great party,, is it casual or should I dress up"
Cowboy says "Well,,, don't really matter,,, its just going to be you and me ....
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Chaz
Trad climber
So. Cal.
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Dec 13, 2006 - 12:35am PT
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What do you call four Mexicans riding in a row-boat with a hole in it?
(locker style scroll-down for idiot effect)
Quatro Sinko
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Hangerlessbolt
Trad climber
Portland, OR
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Dec 13, 2006 - 01:18am PT
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Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .
The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have
passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass
it you cannot qualify for this job."
Mujibar said, "I am ready"
The manager said, "Make a sentence using the
words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
"Mister manager, I am ready"
The manager said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green,
and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Jarhead City, CA
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Dec 13, 2006 - 01:33am PT
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How does this pansy ass sh#t even rate as meagerly offensive?
Try some man sized jokes on for size, boys:
Q: What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
Q: Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is?
A: Free ham.
Q: What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow!
Q: Why do black policemen travel in threes?
A: They need one who is able to read, another who can write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.
John receives a phone call. "Hello," he answers. The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago."
John: "Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?"
Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."
John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?"
Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
John: "Say, you ARE a good sport."
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Jarhead City, CA
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Dec 13, 2006 - 01:44am PT
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Now we're gettin' warmed up.
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
A: Before the First Period.
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
Q: What is a redneck virgin?
A: A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Q: Why is a Black mans eyes always red after sex?
A: From the mace
Q: What is the most positive thing in harlem?
A: HIV
Q: Why do Jewish girls like to f*#k doggy style?
A: They can't stand to see somebody else have a good time.
Q: What's long, black and smelly?
A: An unemployment line.
Q: What do you call a Puerto Rical midget?
A: A spec.
Q: Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?
A: Because spray paint wasn't invented until 1949.
Q: What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: How do you starve a black man?
A: hide his foodstamps under his workboots.
Q: What's the first thing a redneck says after losing her virginity?
A: Get off of me Dad, you're crushing my cigarettes.
Q: In Kentucky, what do divorces and tornados have in common.
A: Either way, someone is going to lose a trailer.
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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 13, 2006 - 01:55am PT
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Hey Robert, I'm kinda fonda this variation:
Q. Why do black people hate to take aspirin?
A. Because it's white - and you have to pick cotton to get to it!!
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Weenis
Trad climber
Tel Aviv
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Dec 13, 2006 - 01:56am PT
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Haven't posted for some time but this has gotten my interest.
Q. What is a Jewish woman's favorite sexual position?
A. Facing Bloomingdales.
Q. Why did the Mexicans retake the Alamo?
A. They thought it was the food stamp office... uh they actually ran out of wall space to write on.
Gee, give me a few minutes... glad to be back for the winter
season my niggas!
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Strider
Trad climber
one of god's mountain temples....
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Dec 13, 2006 - 02:37am PT
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Trucker is driving down the road. Sees a hitchhiker and picks him up. About 5 minutes later the hitchhiker sticks a gun in the trucker's face and tells him to pull over at the next rest stop. Once there, the stranger takes the trucker into the woods, strips him and ties his hands together and ties his feet together and then ties his hands to his feet. The starnger then takes the truckers rig and drives away.
The man then hops out to the highway where a friend of his is just pulling into the parking lot. He hops over and yells to Bill:
"Hey Bill, help me buddy. Some as#@&%e stole my rig, my clothes and tied me up like this."
Bill looks at unfortunate friend and says, while he unzips the zipper on his pants, "It just ain't your day is it??"
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told the bitch twice!
What is the best way to drown your Pet Rock?
Tie it to a bag of kittens...
What do you call one white man in the middle of 10 black men?
Quarterback
What do you call one white man in the middle of 1000 black men?
Warden
How do you fit four gay guys on a bar stool?
Turn it upside down
Why do rednecks do it doggy style?
So they can both watch NASCAR
-n
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Rags
Trad climber
Sierra foothills, CA
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Dec 13, 2006 - 02:54am PT
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Q. What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
A. They go into to town and blow a few bucks.
Hope this doesn't get me shot-
Q. What's the difference between dog sh#t and niggers?
A. When dog sh#t gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
Q. Why don't sharks eat niggers?
A. They think it's whale sh#t.
and just so I'm not accused of biass-
Q. Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A. he pizza doesnt scream when you put it in an oven!
Q. What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A. They don't f*#king listen.
and, drum roll please .........
Q. What's the definition of disgusting?
A. Stuffing a dozen oysters up your Granny's Kunt and sucking out 13.
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Strider
Trad climber
one of god's mountain temples....
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Dec 13, 2006 - 03:10am PT
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ohhhh, that lat one was nasty...
A bus load of nuns crashes and all the nuns die. So St. Peter is chillin at the gates of Heaven, minding his own business when he sees a line of nuns form at the gates.
He thinks, "Gee, they are nuns, what sins could they have commmited. I will ask them an easy question." So he walks up to the first nun and asks her, "Sister Mary, have you ever touched a penis?".
Sister Mary thinks for a minute and says, "Well, yes, but only once and it was with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter looks deeply into her eyes and says, "Dip the tip of your finger in this holy water and you may enter the gates of Heaven." St. Peter then looks at the next nun in line and says, "Sister Anna, have you ever touched a penis?"
Sister Anna looks St. Peter in the eyes and pleads, "Yes, I have, please forgive me! But it was only with my hand!"
St. Peter sighs and says, "Dip you hand in this holy water and you, Sister Anna, may enter Heaven."
St. Peter looks at the next nun and just then, a loud commotion erupts from the middle of the line. A large nun walks up and yells, "I want to go before Sister Lousie! I will be damned if I am going to wash my mouth out after she washes her ass out!"
he..he..he..I am going to hell for sure...
-n
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crazyfingers
Trad climber
CA
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Dec 13, 2006 - 03:51am PT
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Q: How did the Polish guy break his arm while raking up leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree.
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Q: What's the difference between an Italian woman and Bigfoot?
A: One is seven feet tall, covered in thick, matted hair, and smells like a wild animal. The other has big feet.
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Nigger
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Q: What is the most favored wine of Jewish women?
A: I want to go to Miami.
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Q: What do you call a midget fortune teller who just broke out of prison?
A: A small medium at large.
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P Whalen
Trad climber
CO
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Dec 13, 2006 - 04:24am PT
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All in good fun.
A girl from alabama has a date and asks her dad for the car. He tells her "you know what that means..." She runs away crying. This happens again, and a third time, "you know what that means..." until she gives in. One minute later, she disgustfully says "Daddy your dick tastes like shit!!" He replies, "Oh yeah your brother already has the car."
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Gum Bee
Trad climber
San Francisco
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Dec 13, 2006 - 04:37am PT
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How do you drown a blonde?
Don't tell her to swallow
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Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
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Dec 13, 2006 - 05:15am PT
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you guys are totally freaking whacked, offensive, racist and sick.
did i say you were sick
so how bouts more :) lmao
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Weenis
Trad climber
Tel Aviv
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Dec 13, 2006 - 09:18am PT
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Q. What do you get when you have a white trash redneck on the floor with beer coming out of both sides of his mouth?
A. Well, you'll know the trailer is level.
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noshoesnoshirt
climber
hither and yon
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Dec 13, 2006 - 11:15am PT
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What is the difference between a washing machine and a Blonde?
A washing machine doesn’t follow you around after you dump your load in it.
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