Climbing Routes and Breakups

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quietpartner

Trad climber
Moantannah
Sep 1, 2006 - 08:30pm PT
My ex-girlfriend taught me to climb, and she was pretty good. But sometimes she stressed out on lead and started cussing and shouting and swearing in German and English (she was from Germany). Hell of a racket. It make those rides home quiet. After the climbing season, there wasn't much to talk about, so things slowly fell apart from there.

My present girlfriend is a sweetie, and on the first multi-pitch she ever climbed, she barely dragged herself to the top of the second pitch (a 200 footer) 5.7 and nearly collapsed. After a trip to the physical therapist, she's game again. She got game.
quietpartner

Trad climber
Moantannah
Sep 1, 2006 - 08:32pm PT
Crap, two posts. Sometimes this site makes ya impatient.
Jaybro

Social climber
The West
Sep 1, 2006 - 08:40pm PT
Great input, all. RNWFHD- is the worst. RR on Fairview is the most 'romantic,' everybody gets lucky!
HighDesertDJ

Trad climber
Arid-zona
Sep 1, 2006 - 08:57pm PT
The problem that I see with most BF/GF climbs is that when guys go climbing they want a climbing partner, when a girl is climbing she still thinks of of her partner as a boyfriend. Mixed expectations always seem to lead to relationship disaster.
blackbird

Trad climber
Sep 1, 2006 - 09:00pm PT
hehe...! Three different routes come to mind for me... First multi pitch experience ever, one of the first 10 routes ever (right after I first started climbing) was in NC. Not a bad route, but I was the crying GF that you boys all love so much out with the gumby leader who wasn't sure if we were on the correct route to begin with. Wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that he actually was constantly verbalizing that little fact and kept asking me if I thought we were on route... ?!?!?! On the other end of the spectrum, I'm on a 2nd or 3rd date with a nice guy who wanted to see what climbing was all about. I take him to my all time favorite area and put him on one of my all time favorite routes... It has a little of everything so I figure he's going to get a nice sampling: a little OW start, pull a funky, yet easily manageable little roof,then end up with some face climbing and a smidge of stemming. Nice taste, right? Wrong. 100 feet and about three hours later we left. Quiet ride home... Funny, I never heard from the guy again... I honestly didn't mean for that to be the result... Guess that's what I get for thinking, huh??

BB
blackbird

Trad climber
Sep 1, 2006 - 09:06pm PT
The problem that I see with most BF/GF climbs is that when guys go climbing they want a climbing partner, when a girl is climbing she still thinks of of her partner as a boyfriend. Mixed expectations always seem to lead to relationship disaster.

Agreed... for the most part. I would place emphasis on "most".

BB
Jaybro

Social climber
The West
Sep 1, 2006 - 09:26pm PT
"a little OW start, pull a funky, yet easily manageable little roof,then end up with some face climbing and a smidge of stemming. Nice taste, right?"


-sounds like a perfect day on the rocks, whatever the grade.
blackbird

Trad climber
Sep 1, 2006 - 09:30pm PT
It's a T-Wall 5.8!

... and yup, that route usually does contribute to a great day!

BB
curlie

Trad climber
SLO, CA
Sep 1, 2006 - 10:05pm PT
My favorite, favorite route to watch relationship meltdowns occur on is Overhang Bypass (5.7) at Joshua Tree. Easy first pitch, belay under the overhang, guy leads up to the top, girl starts climbing, and all hell breaks loose.

Girl yelling: How do I do this, there are no feet!
Guy (on top of the overhang, can't hear): What?
Girl: THERE ARE NO FEET!!!
Guy: Yes there are, just look around!
Girl: WHAT?
Guy: LOOK AROUND!!
Girl: I am, there are NO FEET!

It's great because they can't hear each other at all, but everything they say is crystal to everyone in the parking lot. Just pull up a chair and a beer, sure as hell beats TV....
Matt

Trad climber
places you shouldn't talk about in polite company
Sep 1, 2006 - 10:23pm PT
for our 1st date, my wife and i drove to yosemite and bouldered all day, then drove back. she had only done a little climbing before that, so she didn't send much, but i had a great time spotting her.

i threw the L word out there in less than a week, that seems like it was just yesterday. less than 3 years later, she's leading easy 5.10s on gear.




oh, and jerry- i have the solution to the CP curse!
the glass is really half full! tat route (or any other) is simply an opportunity to discover that you are in the wrong relationship! we have done CP twice together, the 1st time i ran up w/out a belay and she followed simultaneously w/ a good friend (actually he was my 1st climbing partner, the guy i 1st climbed CP w/ years earlier, and the guy who later performed our wedding ceremony), and the next time we went up there, she led the whole thing.


EDIT-
i just dug out our sunset summit shot
how could a view like this cause a break up?
Wes Allen

Boulder climber
KY
Sep 1, 2006 - 10:23pm PT
I have climbed with a number of women, and have had a couple "moments" though nothing really all that bad. The worst was actually bouldering in Hueco, as the girl I was with got freaked out going through the chimney to the gymnasium.

So, this is the best breakup story I have ever heard, and though I was not there, I can picture it happening:

Scene, Roadside crag, RRG. from the top of the trail, you walk past a few steeper routes, then all the way around a nice sized amphitheater, to some easier slabs.

Some friends were climbing the steeper stuff (know as the "10" wall, though there are a couple 12's there as well). A couple walks past, and over the the slab wall. A bit of time goes by. All the sudden, you can hear them really yelling and cussing at each other, really, really bad. Full on WWIII. This goes on for a bit. Then quiet. My friends are all kinda laughing, etc, pretty usual for them. S0, maybe 15 minutes goes by, and the couple comes walking past, guy in front, girl in back, not talking. Everyone at the 10 wall is also quiet and feeling a bit uncomfortable. So, they pass the wall, and are heading down the trail, when the guy turns to the girl and says, in a soft voice, "All I said was to try and get your right foot a couple inches higher"...
smitty

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, Ca
Sep 2, 2006 - 12:53pm PT
I sat waiting for a couple to climb the third pitch of after six, and had to listen to a novice girl on lead completely skate and freak out asking for tension, and sitting right next to me was her dick-with-ears boyfriend refusing to give her tension. I felt very temped to tie his shoe laces together...
DHike

climber
Sep 2, 2006 - 01:44pm PT
Hilarious thread

I've witnessed and still see the remnants of a classic flip side break up.

Strong, experienced well-known climber woman, takes meglamamaniacal little, alpha-hampster, wanna-be dude out for some climbs, little man's ego couldn't handle the slap-down, relationship in shards like broken glass. Hampster still gets nervous when he spots the gals rig at the parking lot, and the negative comments start to bubble to the surface.

I had a classic myself, taking a gf who wanted to hike up the descent to fairview dome. She had a blast, hanging out on the summit, posing for wacky photos, time to descend, same route, yikes, my bad, gripped to max, finally get her down safe, (her ex-world champion skier) nerves still wracked, now make her camp in the dirt, screams at me 'I make $85K a year, I do not need to sleep in the dirt'. That was a fun drive home.

Maybe a new thread should be, if you want to make a clean break, instead of the dinner and the 'its not you, its me', comment, take her or him for a climb, sweet.

Time to go see which couple is on the brink today,,,,,

bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Sep 2, 2006 - 01:58pm PT
me and the dominatrix have had our most outrageous, screaming, foaming-at-the-mouth blowouts while strung out with things going bad on long routes in the valley. usually pissed 'cause a freind was stuck, or the ropes jammed, or dropped a crucial peice of gear, the usual. an especially viscious fight while gunning for the top of awhannee buttress with four pitches to go, no headlamps, one 150' rope, and dusk settling in, comes to mind. the pitch black descent down north dome gully was a real treat. good times for sure. still married after all these beers....
blackbird

Trad climber
Sep 2, 2006 - 03:03pm PT
I'm giggling my tail off while reading this thread... Being that I've been living the single life for quite the while now, I can certainly appreciate (and have been on the receiving end of) all sides of the proverbial coin and am now able to at least get a chuckle out of all the - ah - mishaps in my past regarding climbing and relationships (torn shoulder, broken limbs, epics in the desert, epics at the crag, you get the idea, you've lived it too to one degree or another...) While you know that things like that happen to other couples, somehow, in some pervese way, it is comforting to know that you're not the only one to whom the "epics" have happened...


if you want to make a clean break, instead of the dinner and the 'its not you, its me', comment, take her or him for a climb, sweet. [i/]
As long as said break-up-ee is not a member of The Tribe...
Jerry Dodrill

climber
Bodega, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 2, 2006 - 03:53pm PT
A friend of mine, who always wanders off route, took his gf up the Gong Show cliff on the E. Side. Somehow he missed the anchors of the route he was on and ended up on big loose choss at the top of the cliff. He gets scared, sets an anchor and belays her up. She's scared as well, of course, screaming at him and crying. It's getting dark, no headlamps. They are 4th classing it at the top of the cliff trying to figure out WTF to do. It' completely his fault. Tension builds. If I remember correctly they end up rapping off some block into the unknown. It's not the first time he pulled this trick. She moved on shortly after, they had dated for nine years. His current gf doesn't climb at all but has learned to tolerate belaying. Smart girl.
guyman

Trad climber
Moorpark, CA.
Sep 2, 2006 - 03:54pm PT
One thing I have learned over these many many years of climbing is this. Stay out of the middle of these GF/BF climbing trips. The worst drive of my life was a trip back from the crags, loving husband and wife screaming at each other about nothing. I think that the stress of climbing uncovers and exposes and releases all the raw pent up anger only two people in love can have for each other.
Matt

Trad climber
places you shouldn't talk about in polite company
Sep 2, 2006 - 04:04pm PT
"I think that the stress of climbing uncovers and exposes and releases all the raw pent up anger only two people in love can have for each other."

that may be partially true, but i think it's better to expose those tensions weekly (in one way or another) than bury them and be resentful, in tiny, additive, compounding incraments.

Crimpergirl

Sport climber
St. Louis
Sep 2, 2006 - 04:18pm PT
Another problem I see a lot is that when a guy and a girl go climbing, quite often the girl just wants a climbing partner, and the guy thinks of her partner as a booty-call. Mixed expectations always seem to lead to friendship disaster.
blackbird

Trad climber
Sep 2, 2006 - 04:22pm PT
Good one Crimpie!!!! That is SO true. Guys, she's right. Often times (most of the time, for that matter) all a girl wants is a climbing partner. Nothing more. Nothing less. Unfortunately, it's frequently quite the difficult concept for you gentlemen to conceive...

BB
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