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The Larry
climber
Moab, UT
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Aug 27, 2012 - 02:48pm PT
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I rap bolted a 5.7
I've gone ass to mouth.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Aug 27, 2012 - 02:48pm PT
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I was married to someone who saw The Monkees in concert....
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Onewhowalksonrocks
Mountain climber
portland, Maine
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Aug 27, 2012 - 03:47pm PT
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I told a hot Yosemite female visitor that I did the first ascent of El Cap to get laid.
And it worked
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TGT
Social climber
So Cal
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Aug 27, 2012 - 04:03pm PT
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I prefer hard manual labor to aid climbing or climbing offwidth
What's the difference?
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nutjob
Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
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Aug 27, 2012 - 05:30pm PT
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Dirty secrets... I've sharted during a climb.
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Roughster
Sport climber
Vacaville, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 27, 2012 - 05:36pm PT
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My friends and I once lit a huge old dead tree on fire accidentally while using hairspray and a lighter to burn huge carpenter ants. Once we realized the tree was on fire, I called the fire department and got an award + newspaper article wrote about me about how I "saved" the forest. One of those glowing 70's "Local kid saves the day" articles. My Mom was so proud she stated, "Let's go make some Kool-Aid!"
I just recently told my Mom that it was us who lit the tree on fire in the 1st place. You should've seen the look of horror in her eyes!
On a more serious note:
A few years later, the same group of friends, went back into the forest with hatchets and started chopping down trees. We started small but had soon progressed to giant old growth trees. This was near Everett Washington before a lot the area was developed, and I am talking about HUGE trees in the middle of pretty large swaths of undeveloped land. Eventually most of the group gave up except for me and two others, one named Shawn, the other kid I can't remember his name. We kept chopping away at it and eventually got to the point we knew it was going to fall.
Having watched my grandpa cut down trees before I knew we wanted one guy pushing on the tree the direction we wanted it to fall, open the cut up larger on the side that faced the direction we wanted it to fall, then finish the last few strokes on the side opposite we wanted it to fall. It worked perfectly, until the tree as it was falling, hit another giant tree. A giant branch, probably as thick around as my arm, broke off as one tree went passed the other and fell back towards us. Myself and one of the kids dove out of the way. Shawn just stood there as this giant branch fell and hit him straight on the head flattening him with a sick wet thud.
After I got up, I could see Shawn just laying crumpled under the branch with half his head caved in and blood pouring out everywhere. I jumped up, and with the other kids help, we moved the branch off of him and started carrying him back home at least a mile if not more. On the way back, the other friend and I made up the excuse that we were running and Shawn tripped and landed head first into a broken off branch. Considering our ages (~10-11 at the time) it was actually a pretty ingenious lie. Not that I am proud of it, but it is amazing that in that moment of pure horror/panic we kept it simple and realistic, though I don't think the extend of the damage really matched the lie.
Shawn was rushed to the emergency room where they did 2 or 3 rounds of surgery. He nearly died and was in the hospital for another 3 months where they eventually installed a giant metal plate in his head. I still remember visiting him and seeing the horseshoe shaped scar encircling his entire head. The whole experience is something that will stick with me till the day I die. I remember the tree falling in slow motion and sometimes the image of Shawn getting crushed comes back to mind. It never fails to make me wince and feel just a little bit of the panic I felt when it happened.
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MisterE
Social climber
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Aug 27, 2012 - 06:00pm PT
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I don't like dogs, but I pretend I do around my dog-owner friends.
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snowhazed
Trad climber
Oaksterdam, CA
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Aug 27, 2012 - 06:03pm PT
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It wasn't my mom's vagina- it was my cousins. Does that count?
Technically I saw my moms at about 2 seconds- but I don't remember the early days
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tornado
climber
lawrence kansas
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Aug 28, 2012 - 03:54pm PT
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i'm the person who took a dump on headstone.
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nutjob
Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
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Aug 28, 2012 - 03:58pm PT
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Woah, Headstone Confessions!
That kind of needs a moment of respectful silence and spiteful retribution.
On another note:
I admit to owning Air Supply's Greatest Hits, and enjoying it. I'll have to change my alias now.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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Chad Taylor
Gym climber
Phoenix
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Aug 28, 2012 - 05:05pm PT
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I play the banjo.
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nutjob
Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
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Aug 28, 2012 - 05:17pm PT
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Chad, that's ok unless you have relatives on the Cahulawassee (or Chatooga) River.
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goatboy smellz
climber
Nederland-GulfBreeze
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Aug 28, 2012 - 07:09pm PT
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Silver
Ice climber
OLPP
Aug 25, 2012 - 05:45am PT
Yes I did kill the neighbor kids dog for biting me.
My mom knows I did this. She didn't seem to care.
You Mom sounds like a cūnt.
Any kid that kills an animal out of spite deserves a beat down.
You better hope we never meet in person.
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Rogue
climber
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Aug 28, 2012 - 07:12pm PT
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So this is what a thousand pounds of pansies look like. Only one poster mentions anything they could be arrested for, and that decades too late.
In the old days, I hung out with bold climbers who did MANY things they kept secret.
I guess nobody here can relate. Crimes, thefts, dirty tricks. I could tell you about them, but them who would you idolize as (false) heroes?
Ah, well. This used to be a more interesting place. Now it looks like its a forum for announcing weddings, soliciting money and bragging on small achievements, doubtfully achieved at that.
The perfect forum for French Free.
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Aug 28, 2012 - 07:51pm PT
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Pretty stinkin' rude Goatboy. Calling anyone a c#&% is out of line.
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goatboy smellz
climber
Nederland-GulfBreeze
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Aug 28, 2012 - 09:04pm PT
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Out of line is killing an animal instead of doing the right thing, crimp. How would you feel if it was one of your pets?
I never use that word but the coward apparently deserves it.
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Some Random Guy
Trad climber
San Franpsycho (a.k.a. a token of my extreme)
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Aug 28, 2012 - 09:08pm PT
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i went on a date with this lebanese girl out to a bar we and all our friends frequented regularly at the time. after a number of drinks she took me into a stall in the girls bathroom and we snorted coke......then her younger sister with an enormous rack came in and we all snorted more coke together. then we went back to my place and i f*#ked them both :):):):):):):):):):)
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Some Random Guy
Trad climber
San Franpsycho (a.k.a. a token of my extreme)
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Aug 28, 2012 - 09:13pm PT
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i used to be a fire bug and start lots of fires when i was a kid. somehow after one of them the fire department tracked me down and came to my house while my parents were home to lecture me. my dad freaked out but i denied the whole thing and they believed me.
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Srbphoto
climber
Kennewick wa
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Aug 28, 2012 - 09:37pm PT
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How would you feel if it was one of your pets?
How would you feel if it was your kid who was bitten?
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goatboy smellz
climber
Nederland-GulfBreeze
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Aug 28, 2012 - 09:50pm PT
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Srbphoto
climber
Kennewick wa
Aug 28, 2012 - 06:37pm PT
How would you feel if it was your kid who was bitten?
I've been bitten by dogs and parrots also scratched by all sort of cats when I was a kid. Usually it was my own fault but not always. If it was my kid I would ask them what they were doing to the animal, then let the owner know what happened. At what point does killing the animal seem like a good idea? Maybe for a chickenshit loser.
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