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Bronwyn
Trad climber
Not of This World
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Juan, you are NOT alone. Depression is real, and it hurts. Bad.
Get to a health care provider ASAP. There is nothing wrong with using some meds to get through this. Sometimes you have to try more than one. I was good on the first one for several months,and then one day I was even worse off than before. I called my MD, she changed my scrip, and the second med (Wellbutrin) worked wonderfully. Depression meds are not a "happy pill" as some seem to think. The right one will make you feel like YOURSELF again. Get some counseling, and if finances are an issue, there are various county programs available. Some churches and synagogues also offer free secular counseling with qualified professional volunteers. Get in touch with the spiritual aspects of life. I agree with others here that having a pet to care for goes a long way to helping yourself. Talk to your friends...seek out others who understand.
I have been off of all meds for several years, but depression IS an imbalance and you have to monitor yourself. Some simple dietary changes can also affect brain chemistry, such as giving up sugar, and adding fish oil supplements to your diet. Staying away from artificial ingredients and other food additives seems to help me as well.
Please seek help. Asking for help is a sign of strength. You CANNOT "tough this out" on your own.
Please keep us posted...people's concern here is real.
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Mtnmun
Trad climber
Top of the Mountain Mun
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When one of my family members came down with depression and anxiety I thought they could just "buck up" and get over it. Soon I realized just how serious of an issue it can be. Reaching out for help is the first step. May you find the happy light soon.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Sport climber
Will know soon
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Juan, like Jingy said ..... you are not alone and as long as you are alive things will change.
I can remember my husband Dan and I driving down the on ramp onto the freeway with our 4 kiddos. We were all packed and ready to rock for a great camping/climbing trip. Halfway down the on ramp it hit, out of nowhere.....what I call the dark hole of depression. I started falling down the dark hole. There were no holds to grab onto, no way to stop, it went from light to gray to black. I was helpless against it.
After years of dealing with this when I was in my 16 to @ 40's I noted that it eased. EVERY human being is different which is why it is so grate that there are so many different responses on your thread. You have alot of ideas and info you can now pull from.
For lynnie, psychiatrists and meds did not help or work. It was getting to meet and know my best friend jesus and getting to be better and better friends with him over the years until now he is the bestest friend that has been life changing for me. I never could have survived my husbands death two years ago as well as I did without my best friend.
I am thinking of you and praying for you and care. If you ever want to email please do so. I will listen. Peace .....lynnie
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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juan ive not got a coin in my pocket nor a hope in my heart.
but i can give you (1) of my (2) dreams.
hang in there buddy.
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scooter
climber
fist clamp
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I am in total agreement with Coz. I was hurt bad a few years back and had a tough time for a bit. I did get a dog from the pound and it was the best thing for me. The MD that was taking care of me had prescribed me an anti-depressent and it did not work for me it made me cry all the time for what ever reason, and I felt out of control. So I stopped it. Started rehabing like crazy. Haveing to walk the dog made me rehab myself and made me accountable to the dog (which is funny). I also stopped slugging beers for a while, that helped too. Also the days getting longer that spring helped. I made sure to hang out in the sun. Take the steps Coz recomended. From my expirence it worked! And I still have DaisyDog my best friend. Try it take control by checking things off the Coz list. You got! The anchors are in sight! And the feeling of beating this will make you a stronger and more whole person. Go get some vibrantly colored oil pastels and acrilics sit in the sun and make a little art. Take care Brudda'. You are going to win!
Pat
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WBraun
climber
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Dr F is hoping there's no Jesus Christ.
When he finds out that Jesus Christ is real and actually exists he will become depressed.
He will then have to suffer so much embarrassment ......
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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werner,
dare i say that you're speculating?
you always get down on us when we do that.
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mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
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Last year, I lost my job of 3 years, found out my back was broken, had to move in with friends etc....
I never sought help, rather tried the will power approach. The depression lasted 6 months, almost cost me my relationship with the lady.
I hated everyone and everything, and never thought I was gonna make it out.
Dad told me "You will find the light my son, just don't forget what you love in the journey"
I snapped out of it. But now I can see how depression can take hold and govern your life.
I have never taken medication, to which I am happy, yet I went about treatment the wrong way.
Keep your head up and do what you think is necessary for improvement. Climbing did it for me.
I can say that you have taken the first step by talking about it, keep up the positive thoughts, and never give up.
Mucci
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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There "might" have been a Jesus Christ but there never was a Jesus Christ Almighty.
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WBraun
climber
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I guarantee Jesus Christ exists beyond all forms of mental speculations.
Jesus Christ is Saktavesa, ever liberated, nitya siddha, never falls down to the contamination of the 3 modes of material nature.
Only fools and rascals says he does not exist.
Jesus Christ exists eternally and he is proven so ......
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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ok,
im happily a fool and a rascal at times.
and other times im miserably a fool and a rascal.
i can roll as such.
how does one convert opinion into fact?
just curious.
sounds like something jesus might do.
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Sleep has been mentioned several times. Melatonin is very inexpensive, same stuff your body makes, and may help you get some sleep. That helped my daughter, too. She wouldn't take any of the other meds. But a little sleep, a pet to take care of, better diet, some simplification of her schedule, a little talk therapy, and she was doing so much better. A year ago, I wondered if she would live to graduate high school. Now we are planning for college this fall.
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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There may be some good advice above but I didn't have time to read. Just want to offer you some Love and Support and a couple tidbits.
1. Don't beat yourself up for being depressed. Real depression can be tough to beat so first accepting that it's a part of your life that you can live with if necessary is a huge step. Whenever it improves, that's bonus.
2. See above
3. Honor yourself. have compassion for yourself. Depression can be yourself eating yourself. We're all wacked bro. It's April fools day, the birthday of us all.
4. Pray for others. Try to make somebody else happy in some small way. Give something. It's somehow easier to be blessed by blessing than by seeking for yourself.
We're with you man
Karl
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Juan,
Don't worry about Dr. F's anti-Jesus trolls. Just realize that you have a medical condition no different morally from any other medical condition.
Probably because so many of us feel (in contrast to think) that being helpless comes from our own decisions, we blame ourselves for our condition. That's like blaming yourself for getting, say, Lupus. There is no blame, only help.
Perhaps depression is more insidious because we often feel like there's nothing really wrong with us, and that we'll just return to our normal selves. That usually doesn't happen without a very bumpy ride, if at all.
I have no threory for why so many climbers seem to suffer from depression, but perhaps climbing affects our brain chemistry. I know in my own case, there's speculation that it's genetic; I have two first cousins who suffer from virtually the same symptoms if untreated. One is in Paris, and one in Mexico City; neither climbs. Since I've only lived in California, I doubt that ours has much of an environmental link.
Again, many of us fight the fight, and our stories differ, but I'll bet almost all of us have this in common -- we care about you, and would be delighted to do anything we can to help.
John
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Mason
Trad climber
Yay Area
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What about the Androgel?
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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There are millions of people with depression that ONLY drugs can help
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Not so. In fact I don't know of anyone who will ONLY be helped by drugs, no matter how grave the depression. This is very simplistic thinking about a normally very complex condition involving past, present and future, physical, emotional, mental, social, economical, behavioral, psychological and spiritual factors.
There is every reason to want to stick with a strictly reductionalistic belief that our brain chemestry is the ONLY factor that CAUSES moods. In believeing this, you can also believe that if you only can control the biochemestry, you can likewise control the mood. This is an often disasterous and self-limiting tact that assumes a few rather glaring falacies.
If you believe that only drugs can help, this precludes you from seeking changes in lifstyle, habitual ways of thinking and feeling, ingrained response patterns, old behaviors, and so forth.
Wish I had more time but I can say that while the meds can be a life saver, usually in the short run - and often not, as well - other methods - usually requiring sweeping changes across the board - will almost always prove most effective in the end. It's very American to believe that we can "fix" a problem with a pill, and that any effort beyond that is not only unnecessary, it's catagorically ineffective.
A common situation worth mentioning can be trotted out by anyone who has regularly attened al-anon meetings. Many, many - if not the majority of people - arrive at al-anon in full crisis mode, completely cooked and feeling totally hopeless. Many can't stop crying at all. But if they stick with program and do the work, look at them a year later.
A rule of thumb worth remembering is: You will only start feeling different when you change your behavior. Thinking or analyzing things will have little to no effect on mood whatsoever. Contrary action is key here. And as Coz pointed out, a lot of it has to do with being "bound by self," or being crazy self-absorbed. That cycle also has to be broken by various means, one of which is being of service to others.
But this is VERY heavy lifting for sure.
JL
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ME Climb
Social climber
Behind the orange Curtain
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From my experience Largo is right on about saying meds alone won't do the job. They need therapy and counseling to work. My wife still has her "homework" and is constantly challenged by her therapist to work on issues. She must force herself out of the house when she wants to curl up into a ball. She must go shopping by herself.
What has worked for my wife is the combination of the meds and therapy. Sometimes therapy alone will work, while other times meds and therapy are the answer. Meds alone are not the answer.
The mind is so incredibly complex and we know so little about it.
Depression is such a horrible condition, but help is out there. Ask for the help and it will come.
Juan, I sent you my number call whenever you need.
Eric
*Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, but have many years experince with depression and know how to find resources.
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Tobia
Social climber
GA
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I came home from school today; a long day with 6th graders, after school faculty meeting, PTO after that.
I arrived at school in the morning in my usual anxiety heavy persona; teeth huring from the gritting. Worrying how I am going to get through the day; how I am going to hold up with my peers and not melt down from the previous day of the same as day as the day before.
I feel that collapse that Lynne eloquently described earlier as I drive home. I think about trying not to go down the chute into the duldrums of my depression.
To dark tonight to get to play outside so I come in to try to escape on the taco. I see a fellow sufferer of the same crippling disease, screaming out over the thread for some reassurance, advice or whatever response he can get to help alleviate the pain.
The people that have posted a response that can identify personally with depression offer some kind words and what helped them. That is compassion and love of your neighbor at it's best.
Clearly there are no two cases of depression that are alike; so there is no magic cure. No one formula that works. I agree with many here, you can't do it alone. I don't know about the talk therapy, I did it for years and it didn't help or maybe I was talking to the wrong people. No meds helped, as I have stated before.
I know I am going to have to start the med search again. I can't do it alone, I can't do it with prayer alone. I can't do it with the taco alone.
Some of the posts are not helping anyone. Dr. F; go find another thread. You are dangerous and twisted. Besides that you haven't a clue. I don't know what life experiences you have but whatever they are they haven't given you one iota of insight into this problem or people's faith, or the almighty.
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Might not help everyone but here's a few tips I noticed keep things brighter for some people.
Moderate levels of depression can be bearable by a lot of folks who suffer regularly but if you fall in to the dark hole, you may need professional help and maybe drugs to get back on your feet. Once you can't crawl out, reach out.
Exercise is almost always is great medicine. Try to develop the exercise habit so when you fall down a bit, it's not as hard to motivate
Caffeine exacerbates anxiety. If you do coffee, feel your energy and see if caffeine makes the feeling worse.
Sometimes you might want to crawl in a hole, and might even feel estranged in a public sterile environment, but human contact and communication can often support and nourish you, even as you might tend to shun it. Develop friends, help them when they need it and call on them to hang out when you need support.
I'm grateful for those who have been there for me when my car breaks down, when I can't handle a task by myself, and when things get out of hand. Let's look for opportunities to be there for each other
Peace
Karl
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Been there done that have the damn t-shirt and matching belt to boot.
Jeff, here is my paltry tale of woe - take of it what you wish.
Depression sucks major big time balls. But you know that already. Snapping out of it can be done - but that part comes later.
First things first. Check with your HR people on what your health insurance covers in the way of mental disorders. Assuming that they do cover this, ask if your company/employer has any type of "wellness" program or "directed help" program. Assume they do for sake of discussion.
Next step - call your doctor and make an appointment ASAP. Same for your employee help program - call and set a date and time!
Third - actually GO to the damn appointments- no excuses, yes I know it sucks and you feel bad - but sack it up cowboy. This is for YOUR own damn good.
Fourth - swallow what's left of your ego (because who cares anyway right) and own up to the doc or the counselor that your life sucks, you sleep all day or not at all, you don't bathe anymore and your feet hurt. But mostly, tell the truth about how crappy your mind feels about itself.
Cinco - take the meds (I was partial to Paxil) and go to the therapy sessions. You will feel like sh#t, you will cry too much for a grown man, you will whine, bitch, moan and carry on like a baby....but....it will be okay!
Seis - keep going - it can take months.
Seite - look forward to the day when it finally hits you with crystal clarity that "JEEBUS HUMPING JEHOVAH ON A STICK - I HAVE DEPRESSION!"
Ocho - with the REAL realization that YOU are not f*#ked, it's just that YOU have a f*#ked disease - it will cease to have control over you. This is the "Snap out it" part of the recovery - you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired - so you quit being sick and tired. Make sense?
Nine - happy days and sunshine buttercups!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It Can Work!!!
Rick
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