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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 8, 2009 - 01:09pm PT
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HAZARDOUS ALIEN ACTIVITY OUTLOOK
NATIONAL ALIEN SECURITY SERVICE SAN FRANCISCO CA
949 AM PDT SAT AUG 8 2009
THIS HAZARDOUS ALIEN OUTLOOK IS FOR PORTIONS OF THE INTERMOUNTAIN WEST.
.DAY ONE...TODAY AND THE FOLLOWING WEEK
OBSERVED MOVEMENT OF THE BAWC HAS BEEN INDICATED BY COMMUNICATION WITH THEIR MOTHER SHIP IN 29 PALMS, CALIFORNIA. THE BAWC IS A BAND OF SPACE-TIME TRAVELING GRAVITY GAMING CELEBRANTS AT HOME IN WIDE VERTICAL FISSURES. WIDE DEFINED HERE BY THE CURRENT DIMENSIONS OF THE LOCAL SPACE-TIME NEXUS CORPORALITY.
THESE BEINGS ARE NOT CONSIDERED DANGEROUS. HOWEVER, THEY ENGAGE LOCAL BEINGS IN RITUAL PETROS-PERISTALTIC-TRANSFORMATION PPT WHICH CAN BE EXTREMELY ADDICTIVE AND RESULT IN RITUAL SELF SACRIFICE RANGING FROM MILD ABRASION TO SEVERE DEEP BODY SCARIFICATION.
THIS BAND IS HIGHLY CONVIVIAL AND CAN TRANSMIT ENTHUSIASM FOR THESE WIDE FESTIVITIES. LOCAL BEINGS THAT HAVE FALLEN OUT OF THEIR SPELL EXHIBIT DISBELIEF IN THEIR PARTICIPATION OF HEINOUS FLESH SCRAPING MUSCLE STRAINING LUNG SUCKING RITUALS.
THE BAWC IS NOT GEOGRAPHICALLY SPECIFIC. MEMBERS ARE KNOWN TO BE DISTRIBUTED THROUGHOUT THE INTERMOUNTAIN WEST INCLUDING SALT LAKE CITY MONTANA WYOMING JOSHUA TREE AND PARTS OF EUROPE. THERE ARE INDICATIONS THAT THEIR LOCAL FOLLOWING IS GROWING.
SIGNS OF PRESENCE INCLUDES THE ERECTION OF EDIFICES ALLOWING THE PRACTICE OF WIDE CLIMBING IN LOCATIONS COUNTER INDICATING THE PRACTICE. EXAMPLES OF SUCH LOCALITIES ARE REDWOOD GROVES IN THE NORTHERN CALIFORNIA COASTAL ZONES AND THE ALLUVIUM DOMINATED VALLEYS BEHIND THE COASTAL MOUNTAINS.
.DAYS EIGHT THROUGH FOURTEEN...NEXT WEEK
THE BAWC BAND HAS A RECORD OF ABDUCTIONS KNOWN TO OCCUR WITH HIGH PROBABILITY DURING THE PERIOD BETWEEN THE LOCAL PLANETARY SOLSTICE OF HIGHEST SOLAR INCLINATION AND THE FOLLOWING EQUINOX. THIS MAY BE MODIFIED BY THE LOCAL PLANETARY ORBITAL ELLIPTICITY AND PLANETARY AXIS INCLINATION WITH THE ORBITAL PLANE. ABDUCTIONS OCCUR DURING PERIODS OF TRAVEL TO A LOCALE PARTICULARLY SUITED FOR PPT.
.SPOTTER INFORMATION STATEMENT...
SPOTTER ACTIVATION MAY BE NEEDED IN THE COMING WEEKS
$$
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Ha ha ha. . .
And shizzle too.
Dern, I wuz hopin you'se guys would be out there the
15th . . .
I start school the 17th, but may yet be able to make
it out to 'spot' some aliens the 21th and 22th. . .
later. . .
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Scott Cole
Trad climber
Jackson, WY^
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Clue me in. What are the official dates for the Boogaloo?
Scole
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Scott,
There is none such date (there have been skirmishes already); however it looks like the California crew gets there Monday night August 17 and stays through the weekend of the 22nd 23rd.
I might be there on the 18th to cavort with that crew.
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Scott Cole
Trad climber
Jackson, WY^
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Thanks Roy
I haven't been following this thread. Maybe I can make it!
Scole
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Blitzo
Social climber
Earth
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Aug 10, 2009 - 06:03pm PT
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Looks like I'm not going to make it.
Sad Blitzo :(
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Aug 11, 2009 - 05:20pm PT
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Ed/Jaybro
Where will you guys bee around the 21th?
Depending on school (mine starts the 17th), I might be
able to make it up there that Friday/Saturday.
Where do I look for you'se WIDE GUYS???
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Aug 11, 2009 - 05:26pm PT
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When in doubt look for 510OW
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Aug 11, 2009 - 05:29pm PT
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Doesn't the start 'coincide' with the start of the Perseid meteor shower?
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hooblie
climber
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Aug 11, 2009 - 06:31pm PT
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not withstanding adverse meteorologic intervention, participants shall anticipate peristalic resonant convergence and coincidental lithic sycopation
local to the temporal/spatial nexus with harmonic propagation, subsequent blissful atrophy and attendant null signal return
as measured at the antipole of the uptake node
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L
climber
Wrung through the paradox, broken into wholeness
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Aug 11, 2009 - 06:49pm PT
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"SIGNS OF PRESENCE INCLUDES THE ERECTION OF EDIFICES ALLOWING THE PRACTICE OF WIDE CLIMBING IN LOCATIONS COUNTER INDICATING THE PRACTICE. EXAMPLES OF SUCH LOCALITIES ARE REDWOOD GROVES IN THE NORTHERN CALIFORNIA COASTAL ZONES AND THE ALLUVIUM DOMINATED VALLEYS BEHIND THE COASTAL MOUNTAINS."
Ever see that old television show "The Invaders"?
They looked like us.
They acted like us.
They were out to get us.
And they vaporized when they died.
I'm beginning to see a pattern here...
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Aug 11, 2009 - 06:58pm PT
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didn't they have weird pinkies?
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L
climber
Wrung through the paradox, broken into wholeness
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Aug 11, 2009 - 07:00pm PT
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Yes!!!
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paganmonkeyboy
climber
mars...it's near nevada...
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Aug 11, 2009 - 08:30pm PT
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swapping snowtires for road wheels off the oilburning crx i just bought for 400 bucks this weekend...
should be able to sustain 120mph on 80 - arrive some time after midnight week from friday...21st...
look for the sickly dude with the 2 foot mohawk ;-)
(i wanna take the landcruiser but its too far to roll at 16 mpg just now...)
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paganmonkeyboy
climber
mars...it's near nevada...
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Aug 11, 2009 - 08:32pm PT
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campa....bring your guitars...
;-)
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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Aug 11, 2009 - 08:35pm PT
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Another place I wish I was at....gezzzz. Well have more than enough fun for me too. Sigh, :}
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 11, 2009 - 09:50pm PT
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it's a little known fact L that "the Invaders" actually got sandbagged on a finger crack, ended up with a permanently kinked pinky, and were just pissed at the sandbaggers...
they took up wide crack climbing after that...
by the way, anyone ever notice Jaybro's pinky?
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Aug 11, 2009 - 10:06pm PT
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PMB
sort of a gathering. . .
hee hee hee. . .
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 11, 2009 - 10:10pm PT
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who exactly?
it depends, but assuming we haven't moved onto some other climbing locale, and the weather is good, the crew on East I-80 right now is: me, Jaybro, spyork, Nurse Ratchet and Mike Fredricks.
Not expecting to leave any earlier than later on the 22nd or earlier on the 23rd...
The other points of the compass will have to chime in... North? South? East?
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Aug 11, 2009 - 10:29pm PT
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Ed
Like I said, if my first week of fall semester isn't too
ungodly, I plan on driving up from Denver Friday the 21th,
prolly early like. . . but not quite sure yet. . .
I wuz gonna drag the tarbaby, but he's out of town then. . .
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